When you start at a new church how do you respond....

[erin74]

to negativity about the previous minister and his wife.

We are new to our church, and it seems there were a few personality clashes with the last minister. I realise in 12 months the congregation will probably consider them perfect and us not so. But we are in the honeymoon period and can do no wrong at the moment.

However, I am trying to work out a way to hear what they are trying to say, without allowing them to bag out the previous ministers wife. After all, if they will talk about her like that, what is to stop them talking about me like that. Not that I care that much about me, but it just makes me wary of trusting someone who talks like that.

Anyway - seeking wisdom.

erin

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Mostly I just look at them as if I am totally blank -

You might say, I am sorry - why don't we stop & have prayer for her/him/them.

It would really depend on what is being said. It is really bad when the former pastor / retired & remains in the community - especially if he was there since Noah built the ark! We have that at this church - and no matter what - he will always be their "pastor" & they always go to him for "pastoral" care. They love us & treat us wonderful - but we will never compare to Bro. ......I don't resent their feelings for him, but it truely does hinder our ministry.

 

[erin74]

Good idea.

We woud be very wary of taking a job in those circumstances. It may happen to friends of ours though - he's been there for 35+ years and is about to retire...

 

[PassionateWorshipper]

How about asking them how the previous minister/wife responded when they (the complainer) met and shared that with them?

Most likely they didn't share "that" or only shared parts of it indirectly. You won't have to take sides, but you will open up communication.

That might be a place to start.

Bless you as you unravel this mystery. May the Lord give you wisdom and discernment and then strategy as you work to build again what has been broken. May He send co-laborers to support you in this difficult time.

 

[lostinWA]

I feel your pain sister! why does it feel that just because some one is not physically there people can talk about them!!! I agree with PassionateWorshipper sometimes the fastest way to stop someone talking negative about someone else is asking them if they have Matt 18 it and talked to the person directly about the complaints they have.

Kind of in the same vein my husband was just hired as the first youth pastor this church has ever had. I am finding myself frusterated (and him as well) that the family does not just jump to accept him and seem to forget why they hired him. I know that it will take some time for them to get used to having another person in the chain of command but in the mean time it is REALLY frustrating. It seems as though they just wanted to say they have a youth pastor but not actually let that have an effect on what they do or how they function. ......... Ok I am done ranting now. Thank you