When upset and have no words

[IndomitableAmy]

I don't have anything autism-spectrum, but because of things going wrong in my brain, I have symptoms kind autism/aspie-like. I have trouble reading people, tend to take language too literally, don't express myself socially right, sometimes sensory trouble... stuff like that.

Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day cognitively and especially if I get upset or overwhelmed, I don't have words anymore. I can't explain what's going on out loud or in my head. I can calm down pretty well if somebody's there to say it's ok, I'm safe and to keep my hands occupied, but there's not always somebody available. If there's not, most of the time shaking my fists and rocking or whatever isn't enough. I end up slapping my legs or face or clawing at my arms. I don't like that. I'm afraid that I might hurt myself sometime.

I know to make the room dim and quiet, but it still takes time till I can calm down. Does anybody have ideas what I could do when I'm upset and have no words?

 

[joris]

I'm having AS myself - I recognise the part of really longing to speak out - though there aren't many people where I could speak out. And then - even with one girl who has the patience to let me express what's on my heart, it's a huge struggle to actually express it, often needing time to actually start speaking, not able to find the words to use, not able to find the courage to actually speak them. It can be so frustrating.
Then again, she at some point expressed she isn't too comfortable with me frequently coming to her with that. Still struggling with how to respond to that (the other day, tried, to talk to someone else, though that didn't really work out; ended up talking to this same girl again in the end -- kinda just went that way)
Feeling so afraid of being a burden, like, terrified of loosing that friendship - she's a great friend indeed.

Sorry, I can't tell what to do when you're not able to talk... I guess I kinda try to pray (would so wish for God to be that Friend to who I could tell everything, wish that He'd respond in that way, that He'd help in all that, comforting, making me feel heard; though I don't experience that at all )
I sometimes kinda pray for some way, that I can say what's on my heart;

 

[IndomitableAmy]

I can trying talking with you later, Joris, but right now I have to focus on something else.

We're talking about different things, I think. I can't pray when I'm so upset I don't have words, because I don't even have words to think then. Sorry. It can't be anything with words. Thank you for trying, though.

 

[HazelAngel]

hmm, I dont really come up with situations like this Indomitable Army but I am sure more ppl will help u in ur quest for answers to ur question on the first post I can say that I have AS and I sometimes find myself as troubled and alone as u r but I can say I get over it

Ur right, about this post ...

I have trouble reading people, tend to take language too literally, don't express myself socially right, sometimes sensory trouble... stuff like that.

... that is definatly AS like symptoms I will pray for u too

 

[uniquetadpole]

Amy...
I am an Aspie, but I also have been through trauma... and in working through my healing process the program I was in had me make an emergency box. In this box I was to put things in there that would help me to ground myself so I don't go into flashbacks and to calm down and things. Each person's box is individualized. But there are some things that were universal. Keep in mind this is for Trauma victims and needs to be modified to suit your own needs... I too shut down and loose my words...and have had to modify to non-verbal things. For example...you can still make an emergency phone call list but everyone on the list will need to understand the situation and you will need to have some sort of sound code so they know what is going on and that your words are stuck and they can talk you into calming down over the phone... or something along those lines.

[FONT=&quot]Emergency Box[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot]An emergency box is for you to carry with you so that you have the below mentioned things with you when it is hard or scary situation to handle and you can cope better and get through.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Here is a checklist:[/FONT]

• [FONT=&quot]On a 3x5 card write 10 emergency numbers (names and phone numbers you can call in an emergency, such as friends, a sponsor, suicide prevention hotline, your psychiatrist, and your therapist.)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write 10 positive affirmations you can repeat when you are in a crisis situation.[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write 10 ways of managing a crisis situation, including various coping skills you have learned, put calling your therapist at number 9 and readmission to the hospital at number 10.[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write your name and address, name of medical doctor, social security number, insurance coverage company and car insurance information and any other important information that will help re-orientate and ground you or needed for help.[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Band-Aids[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]A picture of Self (up dated)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Quarters for the phone or calling card[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]A scent that will help you be prepared for smells that are triggering (perfume, oils, peppermint.)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]A safe object that will help you ground (picture, jewelry, shell, rock, etc…)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Personal items (tampon, pad)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Emergency cigarette (if you smoke)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]A pack of gum or piece of candy (that may help some individuals ground)[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Get a handout on Medical Treatment for Multiples and put it in kit[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write out 10 affirmations for times when you are angry to deal with it[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]A couple of Tylenol or aspirin for headaches[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write Today’s date[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]On 3x5 card write new association list for triggers so a friend and/or spouse can help you reground[/FONT]
• [FONT=&quot]Grounding list:[/FONT]
  • [FONT=&quot]Your Safe![/FONT]
  • [FONT=&quot]No one is going to hurt you![/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]These things need to be put in your emergency kit and be carried with you, so find something small enough to be put in your purse or bag so that it is handy during hard times (easy to grab and use.)[/FONT]


Some things that I also use to help me calm down is...

• A therapeutic weighted blanket. It was suggested by my occupational therapist and I ordered it off of ebay (If you are interested in this more PM me)
• Soft meditative music or one of my favorite quiet type music.
• Breathing techniques
• Rocking or fidgeting with an inanimate object repeatedly
• Snuggling with my dog.

All of these are what goes on that index card of various healthy coping skills... you put them on the index card...because our brain is shutting down in these situations and we need help bringing this information to the front so we can execute these helpful tools.

I really hope you can take this and modify it to help you it has been an asset in my healing both with the trauma and with the AS.
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

 

[Sabertooth]

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26, 27

I often get stuck because my internal life is so driven by pictures. When I am NOT stressed, it is difficult to translate effectively into words; when I AM stressed, you can just about forget about it.

I CAN, however, pray to God in pictures. I can "point" to my concerns and tell Him, "This bothers me," "This scares me," "This saddens me," etc.

A prayer language [praying in tongues, Eph. 6:18; 1Cor. 14] really helps, too.

 

[knownbeforetime]

Wow... This sounds a lot like me sometimes. I have what I call "freak out" periods sometimes. I have no idea or no words to describe why I'm so upset, why I'm crying, screaming, throwing things. Haven't had one for a while now...

And I often think I have AS...