What's your view on child spanking?

[Dust and Ashes]

spare the rod spoil the child,but please dont beat them there is a difference between correction and beating. I have no problem spanking my sons when its needed.

As a young Christian I didn't fully understand why so many of the people in the Bible were thankful for God's correction but now (quite a few "spankings" later) I do. There have been more times that I like to admit that I've wandered off the Path and got caught up in behaviours or habits that weren't pleasing to God. He called and called but on I went until He finally had to get my attention in a more direct way. I didn't care for it at all at the time but looking back, I am thankful that He loves me enough to correct me rather than let me continue down a path to destruction.

 

[heavenscent63]

There are certainly plenty of good but secular/humanistic reasons against child spanking. Even top pscyhologist, educationers, professors, etc will tell you that there are "better" alternatives.

But what we need to remember is what God says, after all, we are Christians:

Pr 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding. (my Pastor says that when a child is younger, like a toddler, you use the cane and less communication, but when he's older, like a teen, you use communication. eg: if your toddler wants to stick his fingers in the socket, you don't spend time communicating to him the -ve effects of electricity. They won't understnd, but they understnd the cane.)

Pr 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. [If you love your child, you'd cane him. If you spare the rod, the Word actually says you hate your child.]

Pr 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. [every child is foolish, maybe due to the fall. No parent should think that his child is special, does not have foolishness in his heart, and hence does not need the rod]

Pr 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Pr 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Pr 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [Like the mother who can't control her kid in the supermarket becos she does not believe in canning?]

So the Bible is crystal clear about parents having to discipline their kids with the rod. But I also believe there is a right way of using the rod and a wrong way. Never cane out of anger. Be led by the Spirit. And also, once the child is familiar with Mr Cane and know you mean what you say, you will find that you need the cane less and less, just mention Mr Cane and he stops his nonsense.

I am in agreement with Bro.Andrew on this. I don't feel it is wrong to discipline your child(ren) if done in the correct manner. I believe that God gave us clear instructions on how to do this. I also agree that your anger must be under control. My parents talked to me about why I was getting disciplined and then we talked about the best way to go about it. Sometimes it was a spanking sometimes it was a grounding and sometimes it was both depending on the situation. If your child is old enough to understand what they did was wrong then let them set the punishment it seems to make it worse for them sometimes they will try to get by with the least amount of what ever time or spankings but you need to have a back up plan. I truely agree with Prov. 23:13 alot but please realize that there is a fine line. Your child(ren) need to know that you are disciplining them out of Love not Hate. I hope this will give some good advise. I wish you luck and hope this will help some.

 

[allieisme]

canning and spanking are two different things!
I have no problem giving my children a quick smack on the rear, if they did something to require it. I'm not ashamed to have to say that spanking is ok, when needed, when I was growing up, my parents used fly swatters and belts, ~~that is a little too extreme for my liking, but you know what, whenever I got in trouble and got a spanking, I learned never to do it again

 

[Perceivence]

God disciplines by punishment, too....

 

[lorilou]

I think it's humorous that all the people writing the "anti-spanking" books have PhD's etc. But if they're so smart, why can't they see that since spanking's been basically done away with, the kids have gotten worse. LOL--I can see this and I don't even have kids yet! I grew up with "you WILL be good at the store because I said so, or else you WILL get a spanking" and now all I ever hear is "Johnny, please be good for Mama...don't you want a toy?" This is part of the problem I think. Kids learn manipulation techniques at a VERY young age and then parents just add fuel to the fire. I've seen that "time-out" stuff done w/ our nephews and they were still little heathens, till my bro in law finally started spanking instead and now they're lots better. Spanking works, period. Not beating, just a few firm smacks on the bottom. Of course the punishment should be consistent and should fit the crime. With some kids, all you have to do is raise your voice and they get the clue. I pray this will be the case w/my kids...ha ha. Maybe I'll get some bad feedback from this, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with a little pop on the mouth for a smart-mouth teenager. =) Lord knows I could've used one a time or two! I guess by the time I have kids, I'll get arrested for spanking them. Well, they'll just have to drag me to jail.... =)

 

[lorilou]

Sorry--one more thing I forgot. This subject has sort of been a revelation to me about society. It's just one more example of how far from God's Word things are straying. They legalized murdering unborn babies, allowing same-sex couples to marry, took prayer out of schools, and have now made it wrong for parents to (gasp) discipline their children! All of these subjects have biblical answers but it's just proof of the last days that things have been so twisted. So really, it shouldn't be a suprise at all that liberal theology has risen up against spanking. Anything to contradict God's Word, right??

 

[Andry]

Lorilou,

There are the verses most used about spanking.

Proverbs 13:24, "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten you son while there is hope, And to do not set your heart on his destruction."

Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell."

Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

I haven't read in this thread about anyone denying or not agreeing with them. Before you become a parent yourself, please don't be too hasty in judging us parents for acting foolishly, or liberalizing our Christianity. I never knew the love of a child until I became a parent. It's very different than that of a spouse or our parents or our friends. The birth of my son changed the way I looked at life, at God, at my own beliefs, all for the better. But back to the topic.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think every child needs a spanking, or to quote Scripture, the "rod of correction" in order for them to gain "wisdom" or "deliver their soul from hell"?

If you believe that yes, every child needs a spanking, then rest your case, as the above verses can't be any clearer. It's a necessity to spank your kid. (And to be clear, I'm not implying 'beating' a child)

But if you believe that not every child needs a spanking, then it's if necessary, spank.

Would that be fair?

So just because I don't spank my son, does that automatically mean that somehow I've liberalized my theology, or could it be that my son is one of those lucky, blessed, fortunate, _______(choose noun/adjective of choice) ones that do not need a spanking, and I'm one of those parents with wisdom, patience, luck, blessed, ________ (choose noun/adjective of choice) without having to resort to spanking?

From my own experience and observation, most Christian parents most of the time don't know how to spank correctly. So they will spank 'because it's in the Bible' not for a failure in the child to deserve a spanking, but for the parents own lack of wisdom, discipline, and maturity as a Christian that they resort to spanking far quicker than the child deserved. Yes, there will be occasions that a child will need a smack on the bum. But a continual, regular smack on the bum (or elsewhere) for the same issues signifies a problem not with the child's behaviour or psychological disposition, but with the parent's lack of parenting skills. But, because the child can't speak out, the parents 'quote Bible' to justify and obfuscate their own shortcomings.

Just for clarity (and please don't read any arrogance or pride into this), my son, who's 4, has had to be spanked twice in his life (and not since he was 2). I'd be foolish to think there won't be anymore spankings in the future, but I definitely know that my threshold for spanking him is far higher than most parents. So I view 'correction with the rod' as 'if necessary', and not necessarily a 'necessity' for every child. And before you scream 'spoilt child', far, far from it. He's the most polite and well-behaved kid we know. And I grew up in a military home - rudeness won't be tolerated, and manners at all times. That's why since he was born I've become a better Christian - so I don't screw up as a parent and spoil him.

 

[Dust and Ashes]

Lorilou,

There are the verses most used about spanking.

Proverbs 13:24, "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten you son while there is hope, And to do not set your heart on his destruction."

Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13-14, "Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell."

Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

I haven't read in this thread about anyone denying or not agreeing with them. Before you become a parent yourself, please don't be too hasty in judging us parents for acting foolishly, or liberalizing our Christianity. I never knew the love of a child until I became a parent. It's very different than that of a spouse or our parents or our friends. The birth of my son changed the way I looked at life, at God, at my own beliefs, all for the better. But back to the topic.

Let me ask you a question. Do you think every child needs a spanking, or to quote Scripture, the "rod of correction" in order for them to gain "wisdom" or "deliver their soul from hell"?

If you believe that yes, every child needs a spanking, then rest your case, as the above verses can't be any clearer. It's a necessity to spank your kid. (And to be clear, I'm not implying 'beating' a child)

But if you believe that not every child needs a spanking, then it's if necessary, spank.

Would that be fair?

So just because I don't spank my son, does that automatically mean that somehow I've liberalized my theology, or could it be that my son is one of those lucky, blessed, fortunate, _______(choose noun/adjective of choice) ones that do not need a spanking, and I'm one of those parents with wisdom, patience, luck, blessed, ________ (choose noun/adjective of choice) without having to resort to spanking?

From my own experience and observation, most Christian parents most of the time don't know how to spank correctly. So they will spank 'because it's in the Bible' not for a failure in the child to deserve a spanking, but for the parents own lack of wisdom, discipline, and maturity as a Christian that they resort to spanking far quicker than the child deserved. Yes, there will be occasions that a child will need a smack on the bum. But a continual, regular smack on the bum (or elsewhere) for the same issues signifies a problem not with the child's behaviour or psychological disposition, but with the parent's lack of parenting skills. But, because the child can't speak out, the parents 'quote Bible' to justify and obfuscate their own shortcomings.

Just for clarity (and please don't read any arrogance or pride into this), my son, who's 4, has had to be spanked twice in his life (and not since he was 2). I'd be foolish to think there won't be anymore spankings in the future, but I definitely know that my threshold for spanking him is far higher than most parents. So I view 'correction with the rod' as 'if necessary', and not necessarily a 'necessity' for every child. And before you scream 'spoilt child', far, far from it. He's the most polite and well-behaved kid we know. And I grew up in a military home - rudeness won't be tolerated, and manners at all times. That's why since he was born I've become a better Christian - so I don't screw up as a parent and spoil him.

Very well said, Andry. Very well said.

 

[kuntrygurl_26]

my opinion is there are ways to disaplin your child without hitting them. You can take something away..such as a video game or something they enjoy. That is what my mother has always done for me. I have never gotten a spanking! And i have turned out great

 

[cherokeehippie]

I went thru spankings as a 5 yr old from my stepdad and I nursed fantasies of hurting him, etc. I even played a different version of Capt. Hook and Peter Pan where I was Capt. Hook and spanking Peter Pan. I remember trying to hit my stepdad and was glad when my mom and stepdad divorced. All thru my life, I'll once in a while still have fantasies of hurting whoever would have spanked me, etc--even though I'm an adult now. Now, it takes on different ways--like if I'm being 'rebuked', etc. I don't know if I was just abused, or what, anyway, Lara

 

[cherokeehippie]

Oh yeah, here's a question--would it worry and upset any of you parents if you walked by your child's room after giving them a spanking, and overheard them playing a violent spanking game. Oh yeah, I remember spanking Snoopy with a knitting needle. I'm not attacking spanking, just curious about how yall would feel if your child did those stuff. Oh yeah, I remember my grandmother getting after me with a rubber tube. I found it on the kitchen window sill one day and chewed it to bits!