- May 5, 2014
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People are always their own worst critics, and it's just human nature to tend to remember the bad over the good. I don't mean this in a mean way at all, but the same could be said of you, Moe. I have never seen anyone say a bad word about you here except for you and I have kind of felt similarly to what you described. I wish you'd see the good in you that other people see.
The problem is usually rude people are the honest ones. They have nothing to gain in being rude. Kind people usually want to make others happy, so when people are kind I register that it is about them being a good person and trying to make a positive impact, not about what they say being true.
Probably still screwed up, but that's where I come from.
Also, I was cute when I was a tiny kid (because tiny kids are cute) but then I got to be 5'9 in 6th grade, chubby on steroids, covered in acne and stretch marks and miserable. Those aren't the pics I share
Okay, so I know I tend to be argumentative at times, but I promise I'm not just arguing for its own sake. I don't think rude people are the honest ones. Putting someone down can give a person a false sense of pride or superiority, or it can allow them to take out their anger and frustration on another person.
Until I knew the motive, I would not validate a comment like that. Some people are brutally honest, but most are just looking for a way to cut you down, and everyone knows an insult to a woman's appearance will be a shot to the groin so to speak. And if we are talking about someone straight up telling another that they are ugly, there is no context in which that is being done in love, and I could never validate that.
By the way, I hope you share those pics someday because acne or not, stretch marks or not, chubby or not, there is a lot more to you than physical appearance, it is not what your worth is based on in any way, shape, or form, and those are things that most people deal with who I'm sure you would never label as being ugly.
This is coming from someone who was, like you said, cute as a little kid and then became chubby. I got called fat, "jelly belly," etc. by kids at church and at school. I would stay with my grandparents on occasion, and they had this amazing tradition of praying over their entire extended family (11 kids, 40+ grandkids, etc.) in the morning after breakfast, and as well-meaning as they were they would pray that myself and people in my family would lose weight. So I grew up with a deep-rooted lie that because I am not "skinny" I am a second-class human being. And I won't lie, I still deal with major weight issues and feel self-conscious when I am out in public, but hating myself is going to get me nowhere. Self-hatred in all of its forms is enslaving because it is embracing lies and rejecting the truth about yourself. It is so contrary to what the Bible teaches and so based upon the shifting sands of human opinion because you could ask 100 different people about what they truly think of your appearance, and you will get a variety of answers. The most attractive thing that you can do is love and embrace yourself and root your identity where it truly belongs--as a creation and a child of God who has impassable worth because you were created by Him. And from there you have the freedom to acknowledge your physical flaws not as part of your identity but as things that you can either choose to leave alone or change. For me, I am concerned with my physical health over and above being attractive to someone, so I acknowledge that there are areas of my physical body that I can improve, but I do my best not to attach that to my identity because that has never been God's intended foundation for the roots of our identity.
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