What's on your mind?

[DragonFox91]

I made an appointment. Earliest opening was end of July. It'll probably be mostly useless but that's fine.

 

[peaceful-forest]

People familiar w/ it say I s/ get diagnosed w/ Aspergers. I'm not sure what that would do? I'm a functioning adult & have overcame a lot of hurdles & struggles. I've come a long ways. I'm not sure what a diagnosis would do at this point. Would it have been beneficial to be diagnosed growing up? Maybe. I believe my parents thought any diagnosis would hold me back, that it would be a crutch, & that everyone has their struggles in life. I really really can't see what a diagnosis would do at this point.

(I had always believed Anxiety was my 'disorder' & it affected me so much it gave me Aspie symptoms as a result - I did officially get diagnosed w/ Anxiety as an adult & got medication for it & that really helps & I believe it would've made things a lot easier)

I know lots of Aspies & while I feel like I relate to them better than 'normies', I still feel like I'm not 100% Aspie either. I feel like some middle-ground, where I'm not 'normie' but I'm not 'Aspie' either - I believe the anxiety I had held me back. I also believe not everyone can be lumped into categories & things aren't always black & white.

In my personal opinion, I wouldn't let anyone try to diagnose you with any form of autism. I don't believe it applies to all situations, but I think doctors are motivated by money to wrongly diagnose a person and give them drugs they don't need.

 

[TheLastGeek]

There's only 1 item I haven't been able to overcome w/out the diagnosis. All others I either overcame or don't fret about not being able to overcome. IDK why this one is so hard.

I'm so glad you agree. I would say the issue isn't 'is it genuine or appropriate' - it's 'will the child see themselves as a victim instead of trying to grow?' My parents thought for me I'd grow better if I wasn't given a label. I see some who were given labels & they, I hate to say it, haven't amounted to much & don't try b/c of their label..

I definitely agree my Anxiety was a label that should've been officially given growing up alongside proper methods to deal w/ it.

This, I'm not so sure.

Seeing one's self as a victim really has nothing to do with being diagnosed. Millions of people struggle with various mental and behavioral issues and don't feel like victims of anything. The current - what I'd call - victimhood epidemic that we've seen in the past several years, is not traditionally how mental illness has been viewed or handled. People crying about being traumatized every time the sun doesn't shine or they hit a red traffic light, should honestly be ignored and not even included in the conversation. They're overgrown toddlers who will continue to tantrum and wallow in mental infancy until they realize they aren't getting coddled and pampered anymore.

Most people that I've encountered, read about, and talked to - as well as myself and my own mental struggles - don't feel victimized or want to sit around feeling weak and helpless and entitled. We want to feel as normal and functional and healthy as possible. Without knowing WHAT is wrong, how can one work towards improving it? Without proper diagnoses, you may have people who feel broken, disconnected, crazy, because they know SOMETHING is off, but not WHAT it is.

I've seen you ping-pong repeatedly in claiming that you need/want/are going to get help, and then flipping around and saying you're fine, you can handle it, therapy doesn't help, there's no point. I'm not going to encourage you anymore because it's futile to do so. You decide, and then you act. It's all on you.

 

[peaceful-forest]

I hate it when parts of my life are planned for me.

 

[TheLastGeek]

In my personal opinion, I wouldn't let anyone try to diagnose you with any form of autism. I don't believe it applies to all situations, but I think doctors are motivated by money to wrongly diagnose a person and give them drugs they don't need.

As someone's been studying this, and working with the population for many years, there are definitely two sides to this.

Autism is very real. I have my own personal beliefs about why it's become an explosive epidemic in the past 20 years, but that's just my own opinion.

Over-diagnosing and recklessly diagnosing autism is also a problem. It was sort of the first big "trend" in seeing how rapidly and uncontrollably people, and the medical community, were jumping on a medical diagnosis bandwagon. Kids who simply had ordinary behavioral issues were slapped with the label because it was trendy, and it was lucrative. People were going online and taking "self diagnosing" tests and then proclaiming themselves "on the spectrum" so they could feel special and get attention and join the hordes of online support groups. So, this very real disorder has been somewhat hijacked, and that's damaged the reputability of the whole thing.

That said, I'm not going to tell anyone that they aren't or couldn't be on the autism spectrum. If someone has genuine, documented struggles with socializing, communicating, neurological, or sensory issues, I think they should seek out a reputable, established, trustworthy professional, and find out more.

 

[DragonFox91]

Seeing one's self as a victim really has nothing to do with being diagnosed. Millions of people struggle with various mental and behavioral issues and don't feel like victims of anything. The current - what I'd call - victimhood epidemic that we've seen in the past several years, is not traditionally how mental illness has been viewed or handled.

i agree

People crying about being traumatized every time the sun doesn't shine or they hit a red traffic light, should honestly be ignored and not even included in the conversation. They're overgrown toddlers who will continue to tantrum and wallow in mental infancy until they realize they aren't getting coddled and pampered anymore.

Yeah, those aren't real victims, but there are lots of people who use their diagnoses as a victim. They exist.

Most people that I've encountered, read about, and talked to - as well as myself and my own mental struggles - don't feel victimized or want to sit around feeling weak and helpless and entitled. We want to feel as normal and functional and healthy as possible. Without know WHAT is wrong, how can one work towards improving it? Without proper diagnoses, you may have people who feel broken, disconnected, crazy, because they know SOMETHING is off, but not WHAT it is.

That is great. I’m so happy to hear there’s so many fighters! But that’s not everyone. Nor was it ever me.

I've seen you ping-pong repeatedly in claiming that you need/want/are going to get help, and then flipping around and saying you're fine, you can handle it, therapy doesn't help, there's no point. I'm not going to encourage you anymore because it's futile to do so. You decide, and then you act. It's all on you.

I am acting. I made appointment. Just like you asked. I hope it's a good fit. I know the last guy wasn't. He tried to trivialize it & make a joke of it. He didn't understand the hurt. This one may be more helpful.
I do believe the pastor is a great source of help. I'm not budging on that stance. You're not always going to see victories no matter how much help you're getting, you'll see some steps forward, some backward.

 

[DragonFox91]

In my personal opinion, I wouldn't let anyone try to diagnose you with any form of autism. I don't believe it applies to all situations, but I think doctors are motivated by money to wrongly diagnose a person and give them drugs they don't need.

I’m not sure what good a diagnosis does. I know people who’ve been diagnosed w/ it from all walks of life. It’s hard for me to see how the diagnosis actually made a difference in their life other than ‘okay I’m in this box of people.’ Most were quite functioning & happy as children & are very functional as adults. I do think it’s just another ‘they’re not jocks, so let’s create a category for the ‘weird’ people.’ If it wasn’t for this one issue I struggle with, I really really wouldn't even bother thinking about it.

When I look at diagnostic lists, there’s traits I have but traits I definitely do not have, & in my opinion, those are the defining traits. When I see an anxiety list - I think 'yes I have or have had all those'

 

[DragonFox91]

Sorry for the triple-posting. I hope I don't get banned.

As someone's been studying this, and working with the population for many years, there are definitely two sides to this.

Autism is very real. I have my own personal beliefs about why it's become an explosive epidemic in the past 20 years, but that's just my own opinion.

Over-diagnosing and recklessly diagnosing autism is also a problem. It was sort of the first big "trend" in seeing how rapidly and uncontrollably people, and the medical community, were jumping on a medical diagnosis bandwagon. Kids who simply had ordinary behavioral issues were slapped with the label because it was trendy, and it was lucrative. People were going online and taking "self diagnosing" tests and then proclaiming themselves "on the spectrum" so they could feel special and get attention and join the hordes of online support groups. So, this very real disorder has been somewhat hijacked, and that's damaged the reputability of the whole thing.

That said, I'm not going to tell anyone that they aren't or couldn't be on the autism spectrum. If someone has genuine, documented struggles with socializing, communicating, neurological, or sensory issues, I think they should seek out a reputable, established, trustworthy professional, and find out more.

Would you be able to go into the history some? Were people just accepted as ‘weird’ or are there truly more ‘weird’ people? I hear different things from different people & sources & so am wondering your thoughts on it, please.

 

[DragonFox91]

I hate it when parts of my life are planned for me.

That's sad. Can you try to change it maybe?

 

[peaceful-forest]

That's sad. Can you try to change it maybe?

I do have an idea on what to do about the work-related one. I hope my boss agrees with me and allows it.

Another one concerning family - I did have some say in it. What we ended up agreeing on was better than the original proposal, but I just feel like I can't deal with my family.

 

[DragonFox91]

I do have an idea on what to do about the work-related one. I hope my boss agrees with me and allows it.

Ah, work. Yes, that is trickier to change.

Another one concerning family - I did have some say in it. What we ended up agreeing on was better than the original proposal, but I just feel like I can't deal with my family.

A lot of people can't. You're not alone. Not that that helps. But that you made a better proposal & were able to change it a bit. That is good!

 

[DragonFox91]

I think there are a couple people I need to try to reconcile with. I know they’re walls. It’s sources of the problem that’d be brought into a relationship that shouldn’t be there.

I don’t know how tho. I was the one who was hurt.

If you hurt someone, what would you think if they tried to reconcile? What would reconciliation look like? Is it possible for sinful people to go back to the way things were before the hurt? Would that be good for either of them? Or is it best just to say ‘it’s just who we are.’

One I’ve tried to reconcile with in the past. It’s just awkward. It feels like you’re just trying to earn points from them & they'll never be satisified with your effort. So it’s easy to think there’s no point in reconciling because it just feels like why am I doing this.

Please pray for this, also I pray that any reconciliation you need to do, the Spirit can work in you as well, that you may be a witness.

I have a praise!

We were able to talk w/ no anger, friendly, normal, as if nothing ever happened! The healing is happening

 

[DragonFox91]

 

[TheLastGeek]

I am acting. I made appointment. Just like you asked. I hope it's a good fit. I know the last guy wasn't. He tried to trivialize it & make a joke of it. He didn't understand the hurt. This one may be more helpful.

That is definitely an immediate red flag. Any therapist who doesn't treat you and your concerns with absolute respect, is not likely to be a good fit.

 

[TheLastGeek]

I’m not sure what good a diagnosis does. I know people who’ve been diagnosed w/ it from all walks of life. It’s hard for me to see how the diagnosis actually made a difference in their life other than ‘okay I’m in this box of people.’ Most were quite functioning & happy as children & are very functional as adults. I do think it’s just another ‘they’re not jocks, so let’s create a category for the ‘weird’ people.’ If it wasn’t for this one issue I struggle with, I really really wouldn't even bother thinking about it.

When I look at diagnostic lists, there’s traits I have but traits I definitely do not have, & in my opinion, those are the defining traits. When I see an anxiety list - I think 'yes I have or have had all those'

You may not see the differences made because those are other people, not you. And you don't see every aspect of their lives or their thoughts or their experiences. Be humble.

Most mental, behavioral, and personality disorders are all spectrums. Few people tick all the boxes, every single time. That's why proper diagnosing looks at the incidents of behaviors/thoughts/issues over a span of time, not just "how do you feel today?" And every person is unique and individual. Lists of traits are like lists of symptoms for anything else; not everyone is going to experience all of them in every case.

 

[DragonFox91]

You may not see the differences made because those are other people, not you. And you don't see every aspect of their lives or their thoughts or their experiences. Be humble.

True. I know some got help. I know some just got the diagnosis & didn't bother w/ help, tho do I know they struggled some (but were & are functional nonetheless) (not sure why they didn't get help, but they didn't, we didn't & don't talk about it)

Most mental, behavioral, and personality disorders are all spectrums. Few people tick all the boxes, every single time. That's why proper diagnosing looks at the incidents of behaviors/thoughts/issues over a span of time, not just "how do you feel today?" And every person is unique and individual. Lists of traits are like lists of symptoms for anything else; not everyone is going to experience all of them in every case.

Yeah but defining traits? IDK.

 

[peaceful-forest]

View attachment 332500

Sometimes you gotta have an expert opinion.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

I know a little piano. I regret not practicing more.

(May my piano teacher rest in the peace of Christ. )

Same here.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

That's cool. Are you a musician, 55?

Yes and no, lol. Yesterday, though, I was just mainly working on organizing my music files on my computer and iPod.

 

[DragonFox91]

Sometimes you gotta have an expert opinion.

?