What's on your mind?

Multifavs said:

I completely forgot about my 5-year CF anniversary. It was on May 28.

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Congrats on your 5 year CF anniversary!

My Mom bought me a new floor mattress! It’s really comfortable!

I wish people weren’t so shallow about physical appearance.

ChocolateVanillaLion said:

Beautiful!

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Thank you!!

ChocolateVanillaLion said:

Congrats on your 5 year CF anniversary!

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Thanks!

Multifavs said:

Thanks!

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We're so blessed to have you as a big part of our community!

Saucy said:

We're so blessed to have you as a big part of our community!

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Aww! Thanks! I'm so blessed to be a part of this awesome community!

Mr. Bultitude said:

This is an area where I am fairly educated. What is your plan? If you would like to share it with me, here or in private, I would be more than willing to give you feedback and maybe some suggestions that you'll find fun and easy.

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I need to lose like a lot of weight, lol. So, I mean just the general weight loss plan that everyone else does, I guess. Eat healthy, exercise, etc. and actually sticking to it.

GodDoesListen55 said:

I need to lose like a lot of weight, lol. So, I mean just the general weight loss plan that everyone else does, I guess. Eat healthy, exercise, etc. and actually sticking to it.

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So, the first thing I want to say is that you're in luck. The more weight you need to lose, the easier it is. It'll take a while, sure, but once you know how it actually works you'll be shocked at how easy it really is. The more I know the better I'll be able to help you, so if you want to talk about this on the forum or in private messages either is fine with me. How much weight do you need to lose? Do you know your BMI?

I'm not going to get specific until I know a little more, but I want to help you understand the situation more clearly. Eating healthy and exercising have basically nothing to do with losing weight. And when we say losing weight, what we really mean is forcing your body to use up excess fat storage. Does that make sense?

You can sit on your butt and eat junk food for every single meal and lose body fat. It would be slow and uncomfortable, but it would happen for sure. But we don't have to do anything like that. I'm guessing you probably eat past the point where you're full, is that right? That's my weakness at least, and if that is yours as well, I've got some really great ideas for you.

Again, I'll wait to get specific until I know a little more. But I do want to encourage you that it is totally possible to lose weight faster than you thought possible while never feeling hungry dieting and while never working up a sweat exercising. So yeah, just let me know whatever you feel comfortable sharing.

I hope everyone has a blessed Sunday!

GodDoesListen55 said:

I need to lose like a lot of weight, lol. So, I mean just the general weight loss plan that everyone else does, I guess. Eat healthy, exercise, etc. and actually sticking to it.

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I encourage you to seek the Lord’s assistance and surrender your health to Him. That’s important for several reasons. He addresses the problem from multiple spheres. You have to tackle the root to mitigate the physical results. And its rarely one thing.

You can have physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and relational blockages that influence your consumption. Food is a coping mechanism for many as a reward and punishment depending on the trigger. There’s no difference between someone whose obese, bulimic or anorexic. It’s the same driver mentally and spiritually so. But the violation differs.

The Holy Spirit knows our innards. He understands the hurt and pain we don’t acknowledge or would be hard pressed to share with a professional. There’s a lot to be dismantled to bring our thoughts and heart in alignment. We have to see ourselves through God’s eyes and most of us don’t.

We don’t love ourselves enough and that’s why we struggle to love other and that’s usually the culprit. At the heart of most issues is a lack of love. Sometimes the hardest questions we can pose is what are you doing and what is this accomplishing?

When we reach the point where we recognize the remedy has become a jailer and outlived its usefulness we’re ready to relinquish it and move forward.

Many fear the change. The weight is a shield and protector of sorts. Letting go means ‘the real you’ comes out. In time they realize the weight was a filter. They saw themselves and everyone through its lenses unknowingly. But no one has to remain in that place.

My health reformation began long ago. It’s been nearly 20 years now. I read a book that opened my eyes about mindless eating. It opened the door for a much needed recalibration on the mental plane and I started losing weight.

Refined sugar and processed foods were the first to fall away. I opted for organic items in their place and began to eat seasonally. I whittled down snacks and gave up soda permanently. And the weight loss continued.

I began sharing my experiences with others online. I had a long held belief the body was sacred but the concept was reinforced through my experiences. I encountered likeminded men and women whose support encouraged me. That was my awakening and the ‘real bella’ came forth. I beheld my beauty in its entirety and began helping others to see the same.

By the time my homecoming occurred I had a decade of maintenance behind me. The Lord brought additional changes and prohibitions. Several healings followed and I no longer require prescription medicines or treatments. Natural remedies are my go-to options with Tylenol every now and then.

In time He provided His standard for my beautification which correlates to my calling in fashion design and public influence. I was given guidelines for my weight, attire, appearance and related areas. He transformed me into His ideal of loveliness and continues to do so.

There’s nothing too hard for God. You can do it! Sometimes we need a reminder.

I've been so well lately but I am suddenly sad. It never changes & the real problem never goes away. I can't change it

I didn't go to church this morning. I wanted to take it easy. I feel terrible. I want to cry. If I can't even handle going to church for a couple hours how will God expect me to be married? I messed up.
But it never seems to help anyways. I go to church regularly & it's never helped w/ dating. (I'm not talking about meeting girls at church, I'm saying I can't even meet them anywhere. What do I have to do to show God I'm ready to date ) Nothing I do changes it & nothing I try works. I just run in circles. I just run in place.

DragonFox91 said:

I didn't go to church this morning. I wanted to take it easy. I feel terrible. I want to cry. If I can't even handle going to church for a couple hours how will God expect me to be married? I messed up.
But it never seems to help anyways. I go to church regularly & it's never helped w/ dating. (I'm not talking about meeting girls at church, I'm saying I can't even meet them anywhere. What do I have to do to show God I'm ready to date ) Nothing I do changes it & nothing I try works. I just run in circles. I just run in place.

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You’re 30. Chill!

Focus on living life for a while.

DragonFox91 said:

I didn't go to church this morning. I wanted to take it easy. I feel terrible. I want to cry. If I can't even handle going to church for a couple hours how will God expect me to be married? I messed up.

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God doesn’t expect perfection. Our missteps reinforce our need for Him. We can’t do it alone. Although you missed church today try to spend time in prayer and lay the burden in His lap. Replace the vacancy with an edifying message or time in the word to nourish your spirit.

@DragonFox91 said something that inspired a train of thought. Right now things seem bleak or nearly so for many. But that’s not the case. I’d like to broach it from a different angle.

Marital preparation is three-fold: parents, church, and the person. When there’s deficiencies in the first two the onus is on the latter. You have to figure it out on your own and that’s increasingly difficult for several reasons.

Children learn by example. Their initial understanding of marriage, husbands and wives begins at home. That’s the foundation they build upon. While no situation is perfect, hardships may require them to unlearn what they’ve seen and experienced. That’s where the church comes in.

Unfortunately, they don’t begin at ground zero—the man and woman—and introduce the union from God’s perspective. They begin with the latter which usually assumes the foundation is solid.

Men and women aren’t instructed on personal ministry to the opposite sex. They figure it out when things go awry and they’re sitting in the counselor’s office. There are ways you interact with the opposite sex that affects them deeply. Things to be nurtured and avoided. But we don’t tell them that.

There are ways we can pour into another that will prepare us for the next without transgressing boundaries or adopting worldliness. To do so requires each to understand their power to influence the other for good or bad.

Christian men require certain things in today’s climate. He needs to hear his difference is evident. He needs opportunities to demonstrate godly masculinity. Which requires a combination of verbal appreciation and encouragement and the willingness to allow him to take the lead.

There’s too many superwomen in church. They rush to fill the gaps instead of coaxing the men to step up. That isn’t done through confrontation or shame. You celebrate his essence and invite them to participate. Men want to feel needed and valued. Sometimes that requires women to get out the way, stop competing, and trying to define their manhood.

Unfortunately, you won’t hear that today. There’s too much masculine energy on the other side and women are overly empowered and more than a few are drunk on the power. They’re unable to help the ones who come behind because they’re out of order.

Couple that with his challenges. He’s society’s scapegoat. Men are disempowered, maligned, and encouraged to reject masculinity through shame, humiliation, and effeminate rhetoric. He comes to church seeking relief only to encounter a different iteration of the dilemma.

She grapples with notable struggles too. Most women are very insecure. They weren’t affirmed enough at home. Which compels them to seek validation in their appearance, men, friends, work and activities. She needs to hear well done and have frequent reminders of her beauty because she fears she’s not enough. The magazines and billboards make her feel less than. She wants to know he values her as-is.

Underneath the rhetoric and independence lies a woman craving acceptance. Many want protection but they don’t know how to relinquish their guard or let you in. Don’t allow her words to disarm or camouflage her vulnerability. Love is the key. The best way to love a woman is through appreciation.

Compliment her efforts large and small. Affirm her modesty and acknowledge your appreciation of her attentiveness in that area. “What a beautiful dress. Our sisters embody loveliness.” Give them something to smile about.

Women frequently display their love through acts of service and helpfulness. The little things she says and does that go unnoticed are I love you’s in disguise. That doesn’t always imply romantic love. It’s her nature unfiltered. Keep in mind, she’s scrutinized most through her appearance, home and family. They’re sensitive areas that require the greatest support and are usually the source of her deepest pain and doubts.

Recognize both have their respective hurts and love is the balm. Pour into one another generously and consider the ramifications of society’s ideals on the other. No one has gone unscathed. Grace should be given continually to each.

Because the pair are disconnected from reality. They have a lifetime of imagery and ideologies on the opposite sex that’s unattainable. They don’t know anyone who meets that standard or acquired it. Instead of adjusting their perspective in light of the word they seek the extraordinary within the church and grow disheartened when it isn’t found.

The solution is simple. Knock it off. We can’t compete with the world and shouldn’t try. We’re overlooking viable men and women in the body for silly reasons. Chasing scarcity without realizing it requires the same in return.

This goes back to understanding and valuing the other from God’s vantage point. The Christian man and women aren’t lacking. Our antennas are broken and we’re tuned to the wrong frequency.

The exemplary man and woman are in the pew. They’re the ones with encouraging words and prayers on our behalf. When we grow tired of the fantasy we’ll open our eyes and see them. They don’t need to have it all. Christ is all but we forget that.

Men want to be esteemed. Women want to be adored. That’s the divine standard woven in our person. It’s time for us to honor it and celebrate our compatibility. We won’t change the climate until we do.

That means leading with the spiritual. Deficiencies aren’t disheartening when we understand our power. We can alter the outcome through our presence. But we have to see with holy eyes to do so.

I walked my dog today.

Today's just a bad day in general. I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I guess I just really need a relax day. I guess I can do chores & stuff tomorrow.

DragonFox91 said:

Today's just a bad day in general. I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I guess I just really need a relax day. I guess I can do chores & stuff tomorrow.

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I think you should try lifting weights today. I'm sure you don't want to do it, but even 5x5 left and right Kettlebell Halos would help you feel a lot better. I might be wrong, but I don't think I am.

Experienced a lot of anger today... a level of anger I haven't had for a while now.

I think I did alright not expressing it.. still now I feel somewhat kind of sad about it.