• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

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Paulie079

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Again traveler isn't her and of course you were pointing the finger because of what traveler posted in the thread we also knew since you are like puppy dog with Ariel that of course now you say traveler WAS your friend and what she said was so awful! She and anyone else wasn't body shaming Ariel!


But this is not facebook or Snapchat or twitter or a thing else to build your memories on!

Yet again we have people arguing over sexualisation of the women because that is what it is! the people who had issues over it are actually worried about women can see what the damage can cause because yeah we are women!

Maybe Ariel is young but trust me as a older lady I did the same and thought it was and then realise why I was doing it not because I was owning myself but because I wanted approval from society owning your body is actually when you don't need to post 20 pictures when you can walk outside naked and don't care what people say and not run away because the min you run away or get bothered by what they say means you are seeking approval!

Ariel made a choice to leave and She is not becoming some hero you are trying to make her out to be, while you try and fry the rest of us!

Don't worry I am asking myself to be banned from CF because like traveler I need a break from this site! I don't want too see girls pouting in outfits or posting this my hot mess and watching guys being really creepy have you notice none of the guys post 20 odd pictures or get the same reaction!

Am really tried of this site at the moment and the tension that is building up! It feels like them and us! At least I will show my hand like traveler and don't be sneaky and have a man speak for me! Because if you are truly body shamed you would speak for yourself not via a man

Okay, this needs to end. If you're going to leave, just do it and don't go flaming other people on your way out.

I hope everyone who is actually invested enough in this to feel angry can step back and realize how entirely petty this whole thing is. It's seriously not worth it.
Now, for the sake of people who are trying to enjoy themselves here, stop talking about it. This whole discussion ends now. One thread has already been trashed, let's not trash another one. In the very least take it to PM. Let's show each other that we are capable of being adults. Thank you.
 
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SarahsKnight

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Yes, that was sarcasm. Traci is one of my best friends, and she didn't deserve to be treated like that by her brothers and sisters in Christ. She was alienated away from the only Christian community she had in her life. Sorry if I find that upsetting.

I am not calling any single person out, or singling anyone out. And I'm sorry if my sarcasm offends anyone.

No, it did not offend. I was just being a simple-minded idiot as I often am in these kinds of situations, where I cannot ever seem to pick up on the cue to the surrounding context of the joke. And however unassuming I might have been when I asked you if it was sarcasm, apparently that post led to all this recent anger, and I am sorry I made it.
 
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LoveDivine

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Again traveler isn't her and of course you were pointing the finger because of what traveler posted in the thread we also knew since you are like puppy dog with Ariel that of course now you say traveler WAS your friend and what she said was so awful! She and anyone else wasn't body shaming Ariel!


But this is not facebook or Snapchat or twitter or a thing else to build your memories on!

Yet again we have people arguing over sexualisation of the women because that is what it is! the people who had issues over it are actually worried about women can see what the damage can cause because yeah we are women!

Maybe Ariel is young but trust me as a older lady I did the same and thought it was and then realise why I was doing it not because I was owning myself but because I wanted approval from society owning your body is actually when you don't need to post 20 pictures when you can walk outside naked and don't care what people say and not run away because the min you run away or get bothered by what they say means you are seeking approval!

Ariel made a choice to leave and She is not becoming some hero you are trying to make her out to be, while you try and fry the rest of us!

Don't worry I am asking myself to be banned from CF because like traveler I need a break from this site! I don't want too see girls pouting in outfits or posting this my hot mess and watching guys being really creepy have you notice none of the guys post 20 odd pictures or get the same reaction!

Am really tried of this site at the moment and the tension that is building up! It feels like them and us! At least I will show my hand like traveler and don't be sneaky and have a man speak for me! Because if you are truly body shamed you would speak for yourself not via a man
I have stayed out of this controversy till now, because I'm good friends with Travelers.Soul and I didn't want to appear biased or take her side automatically. One huge issue in Singles is that people have knee jerk reactions and rush to the defence of their friends with no objectivity or fairness. For the record, I liked Ariel and enjoyed the fun and positivity she brought to singles. I do agree that some of her photos were not appropriate, particularly for a Christian forum. I think things could have been handled a bit more diplomatically in that thread, but at the end of the day, truth is still truth regardless of how tactfully it is presented. I know Ariel feels attacked and Mojoboy's natural response is to defend his friend, but there were a lot of negative things that resulted from the sharing of questionable pics. It's easy to forget that we are all representatives of Christ. Every pic and post on this forum needs to be above reproach. We never know how our posts or photos can cause another to stumble. That should be a concern to all of us. It's not about what we feel we should be allowed to post. We should realize that non Christians also browse these threads. Are they seeing Christ in our posts or the world?
 
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TheGirlOnFire

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Since my emails have went mental and I have Asked admin to ban me and it's not been done it yet

Firstly @SarahsKnight please give me a break! I am NOT the only one and it wasn't too do with that picture it was a build up of the pictures.... since you were one of the guys who was a "mark" am not surprise at your post! Why haven't you got anything to say to @Geech since he has made a comment about it

Same too @Paulie079 am not flaming anyone am saying my side, a lot has went on In the background which obviously you don't know and that is bubbling over! I will not have people being accused of stuff! Again funny how you don't challenge others interesting

@YankeeGirl yes I agree I do think things may have went over board and people and am sorry for that, I don't want to hurt anyone but I don't want too see other hurts! The thread turned into something it shouldn't be

Am really sorry to others who have to read this and if I come across wrong again I am sorry! Can you please stop quoting me my name will go pink I will be back at Easter hopefully with a lot more grace, love and wisdom
 
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SarahsKnight

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.... since you were one of the guys who was a "mark" am not surprise at your post!
You are right. I could have made my point sound less accusing towards you and I apologize for that. However, what do you mean by "mark"? Surely you do not suggest that Ariel was trying to summon a male fanbase specifically by her images (which I don't even remember there being a lot of - maybe on a relative basis to the other ladies, but otherwise no). I mean, I don't even see how they were suggestive, much less catering specifically to the innate male desire for the female body. If that's even what you are trying to say by "one of the guys who was a mark".
 
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mojoboy31

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Again traveler isn't her and of course you were pointing the finger because of what traveler posted in the thread
No I was not. What would it serve to point the finger at someone who is gone? I was merely lamenting the loss of my friends, and expressing my disappointment that her pics were apparently so *disturbing* to some, that there could be no peace in the pic thread. It couldn't just be ignored or discussed elsewhere.

we also knew since you are like puppy dog with Ariel that of course now you say traveler WAS your friend and what she said was so awful! She and anyone else wasn't body shaming Ariel!
Not gonna bother addressing the first part, and as for the latter, I said 'was because I have no means of communication with her beyond this forum. I'll probably never get a chance to talk to her again.

But this is not facebook or Snapchat or twitter or a thing else to build your memories on!
It's a place to congregate and connect with people. For Ariel, sharing pics, and having others share pics, helped her connect. We've asked why we feel the need to post pics. Why did we feel the need to stop the pic thread?

Ariel made a choice to leave and She is not becoming some hero you are trying to make her out to be, while you try and fry the rest of us!

Don't worry I am asking myself to be banned from CF because like traveler I need a break from this site! I don't want too see girls pouting in outfits or posting this my hot mess and watching guys being really creepy have you notice none of the guys post 20 odd pictures or get the same reaction!

Am really tried of this site at the moment and the tension that is building up! It feels like them and us! At least I will show my hand like traveler and don't be sneaky and have a man speak for me! Because if you are truly body shamed you would speak for yourself not via a man
Not making her a hero, never even claimed to agree with her pics, just that she deserved to be treated better by the likes of her Christian brothers and sisters.

I don't speak for her, she didn't ask me to do anything. I'm not defending her honor or being a white knight. I posted something sarcastic for the reasons I stated above, and now I defend only myself.

No, it did not offend. I was just being a simple-minded idiot as I often am in these kinds of situations, where I cannot ever seem to pick up on the cue to the surrounding context of the joke. And however unassuming I might have been when I asked you if it was sarcasm, apparently that post led to all this recent anger, and I am sorry I made it.
Not your fault bro, I'm the one who called the group out, I'm the one who decided to let sarcasm get the better of me, and I'm the one who decided to quote you and put it all out there again. Not your fault, bro. Mine.
 
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mojoboy31

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Firstly @SarahsKnight please give me a break! I am NOT the only one and it wasn't too do with that picture it was a build up of the pictures.... since you were one of the guys who was a "mark" am not surprise at your post!
Mark? As in a target? So, I was right when I said she was treated like she was trying to lure men in.
 
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SarahsKnight

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Why haven't you got anything to say to @Geech since he has made a comment about it

If you are talking about Geech's last post just now, I didn't even see it at first.

But if you do want me to say something concerning it, fine. I'll admit, I don't appreciate @Geech's "white knight" shtick remark. First of all, it isn't true that @mojoboy31 was doing that. Didn't see any indication of that at all. And while he might have been directing that comment specifically towards Mojo, I cannot help but take a bit of offense to the label as well, because I have been called that as an accusation in the past (not at CF) a few times and I do not fit the negative connotations of "white knight". I learned eventually that when someone calls a guy defending a lady a white knight on the Internet, they are accusing the guy of doing so solely for purposes of looking like a hero and a knight in shining armor, when in reality his main or only goal is garnering some measure of attention from her (in extreme cases hoping to eventually receive sexual attention). And I am more than certain that that is not the case with me, or Mojo, or anyone else who might have defended Ariel. Period.

I defend Ariel because she has done nothing wrong. Or even something that anyone should feel compelled to give her some sort of morality warning over. It really is starting to sound to me like she was shamed, even if not for the intentions of making her feel bad or insulted.

Is it easier for me to go "running to the aid" of my lady friends like a knight? Yes, I freely admit that. But that doesn't mean there are underhanded intentions of any sort, if that's what you and Geech are suggesting in your posts about this.



Don't worry I am asking myself to be banned from CF because like traveler I need a break from this site!

And I also want to tell you this, Fire Girl. I don't want you to leave CF, for what it is worth. I do think you are wrong to make this fuss over Ariel, but that doesn't mean that I or we are all totally against you. Yeah, you get a little fired up over subjects sometimes more than the typical member, and I might disagree with them, but I still call you a sister, even if I make the mistake of posting a disagreement against you sound sarcastic, accusatory, or otherwise like I don't care to have you around, in a post like I just did a while ago.
 
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mojoboy31

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cleavage-bearing dress like that, even if it wasn't her intention to put it on display like it was, and believe me, I wasn't the only one taking issue with it. At least six different people
Well, she and her ungodly cleavage are gone now, so we can stop clutching our pearls and take a nice sigh of relief. :p
You made your point about her pictures-- you all did-- the thread was locked. And yet, after it was reopened- you (plural, again, not singling out) still felt the need to post trollish gifs, make snide comments, or call into question the morality of the person posting pics. What purpose did that serve?

Then you guys decided to lace it with nuance and imply that I have issues against women, or some ridiculous crap like that. Get real.

This whole "white knight" / "Don Quixote" shtick has gone overboard.

How's THAT for direct?
I did nothing of that sort.

Yez, let's start name-calling, that's gonna solve the conflict ;p
 
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mojoboy31

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I think things could have been handled a bit more diplomatically in that thread, but at the end of the day, truth is still truth regardless of how tactfully it is presented. I know Ariel feels attacked and Mojoboy's natural response is to defend his friend, but there were a lot of negative things that resulted from the sharing of questionable pics.
That's a fine point, except my entire beef has only to do with the way she was treated and judged. Her pics may have been questionable, but that's in the eye of the beholder-- a matter of opinion. We are supposed to have grace for each other in debatable matters. I'm not defending her pics, not defending her. I just don't get why after the thread was locked twice, that we couldn't just shrug and ignore the thread if it bothered us-- why did we have to keep pushing until it it all fell apart and two of our best members felt the need to leave?
 
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Citanul

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Any large flightless bird (besides Big Bird and penguins) are evil in my books.

Ostrich meat is quite healthy though, so some good does come out of them.
 
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ReesePiece23

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I somehow get the feeling that the fallen members will be back by the spring. These mass walk outs seem to happen every year, it's more than highly predictable. (No offense, but it's true. I've seen THREE just in my time here.)

Drama is like hot air. Very soon it'll all float away into the sky and disappear out of sight. It's a waste of energy even thinking about it.

Guys. Don't take the internet so seriously. Treat it as an evening down the pub like I do and have a laugh.

If you're being bullied, take it up with the members in quetion in a group PM with an admin present. Quote posts and messsages as evidence and get it sorted. Job done.
 
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Swan7

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If you're being bullied, take it up with the members in quetion in a group PM with an admin present. Quote posts and messsages as evidence and get it sorted. Job done.


I gotta say, I absolutely agree with this, or even any mod really.


Ok, guys. It's time to stop flaming each other and stop talking about members that aren't here to defend themselves. Ask yourself before you post if this is something Christ would say, if not, then don't say anything if nothing "good" or edifying can from you (general you).

Let's act more than adults and like children of hevean with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
 
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SnowyMacie

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@Geech , @Travelers.Soul , and now @TheGirlOnFire have all explained themselves, and I still do not understand how on Earth any of them have flamed Ariel or anyone on this website regarding her picture, and that we are all still flaming each other, that is not the definition of flaming, but I'll get back to that in a second.

Out of everyone who is spoken out against the picture, and @YankeeGirl all pointed out that the picture was not appropriate for a Christian Singles forum. It is not saying that the dress was inappropriate, immodest, body-shaming, etc. There are numerous factors that determine what is and is not an appropriate picture for this website that goes beyond the type of clothing. I think we call agree sharing a picture of yourself in a swimsuit at the beach is completely different than sharing a picture of you wearing it in the bedroom or bathroom. If Ariel had been at a wedding, or some other type of event and shared a picture of herself wearing that same dress, I guarantee this conversation would not be happening. It was not just the dress itself, but how the dress and picture was presented itself. Again, that is not flaming her. Nobody was saying anything about her intentions or even her character, in fact she was not even mentioned in the post that was supposedly flaming her. All anyone has said since then it is that it was not wise to post that picture. That's it. That's all there is, there's nothing more to this, almost conspiracy theory that people don't like others posting pictures and we're trying to shame her out of posting on her.

Secondly, it is also my observation that this picture was not such an issue until people responded to @Geech 's gif. Now, I understand, and that it's natural to defend your friends, in fact, it can only be condoned, but the fact that multiple people are still going after them even after they have explained themselves to the point where they have left the website is something that I do not understand or condone. First off, that's no longer defending your friend at that point, that's an offensive action towards the others. If anything, it seems that the people who are talking about this situation more, and making an issue of out of nothing are those who are supposedly defending the picture.

Before I'm falsely accused of flaming, I am going to say that I like Ariel and I am going to miss her. I usually enjoyed her posts, her pictures, and overall enjoyed her presence on the forum. That doesn't mean I always agreed with her or liked everything that she did, but that's something I can say about every single one of my friends. I've never known anyone that had a 100% approval rating over every thing that they did, but I don't need to have that or pretend to have that with my friends, family, and relationships.

That is something that is part of being an adult. It is not flaming to express disagreement, disapproval, or any kind of dissenting opinion about another's person's actions or even character. That's just expressing that you are a different person. Flaming is a hostile and insulting attack towards someone. Dictionary.com defines it as directing "a vitriolic or abusive message at someone". We all know @Travelers.Soul , @Geech , @TheGirlOnFire , they would never intentionally send abusive messages at someone, that's not in their character. Even if the posts were flaming, the posts would have removed by staff, but they were not. I'm a liberal on a predominately conservative Christian website, I know what flaming someone looks like it. I have not seen it from anyone involved in this fiasco because flaming is something intentional, there's malice behind it. Now, people have gotten close to flaming others in this utterly ridiculous controversy.

The problem is just what Swan said, we all need to grow up and start acting like adults. Part of acting like an adult is learning how to handle it when people express disagreement and/or dissent.
 
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Orange Crow

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Dang this clementine is amazing! I might just have another :D

I saw your previous post, feeling better since? :)

Oi vey. I'm gone for a few hours and this happens? Let's all think happy thoughts! Like...kittens. Or Chris Hemsworth.

giphy.gif
 
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