OMM: Just realized I think I've been born-again since I was 17 or maybe even younger and was just a rebellious Christian.
My reason for thinking such is because when I was 17 and was a part of a church I used to go to, we used to fellowship for College & Career at my pastor's house (I was younger than the rest but they still let me join in). When I used to go there I felt one with them all, very much so. And Jesus says the church is one John 17:21 so naturally we will feel one in spirit recognize each other.
But that's not even the main reason, for me the main reason is because when they used to pray their prayers were like my own. When they said "Father" in their prayers, my soul would immediately connect with the prayer because I too felt God was my Father and really only recognized it when they started praying. When I prayed there and prayed to the Father it felt so right, and again the oneness of it all was just surreal. Scripture says that the church, and only the church, has a spirit that cries out Father. Romans 8:15 Now that doesn't mean we always feel that way, for me it's often more prominent when I'm with other Christians and fellow-shipping.
Because I left for so many years I just assumed that meant I wasn't a Christian at all and that my faith back then was illegitimate, I don't know where I got that idea but I'm sure it was probably somewhere on the internet mixed with my limited understanding of God and scripture. When I came back to Christ this time around, I had a powerful experience with the Holy Spirit and I assumed it meant I had been born-again, when in reality I probably had the spirit inside me all along and he had just chose to show himself in a powerful way.
So I guess some edification alongside this will be to remember that even if you fall away it doesn't mean you aren't His, and it doesn't mean you can't return to your loving Father. Once your his, you're always his, you're redeemed by the blood of Christ and his child forever.
God has amazing plans for his church, plans to spread the gospel, to be a light in the world through our love for each other and love for others. Let's do it.