Before reading anything else, I wish to say that I have been praying for a few people. I'm sorry that I have not expressed that to them, and that even now I'm being cagey about it. It's just not the done thing, you see. At least not in regards to relative strangers.
The rest is a ramble of thoughts, inspired by the wonderful exchanges earlier in this thread.
There is a certain difficulty in expressing support for those who, and may you forgive me for saying this, require more from you in order to feel that support. That is not a slight against those who need more, but it can also highlight the reasons why one person may feel they do not receive adequate support despite others feeling they've given all they can.
Sometimes it can appear that the emotions are controlling the person, and that is when people get concerned. That is also when people will note what they view as someone starting to understand/handle their emotions a little more as being a positive, rather than a warning sign that those emotions are simply being bottled up. On an internet forum it's even worse, even with those you consider friends. People can struggle to read the depth of the pain someone is in, or their real need for something more than a hope that others are praying.
What was my point? Oh yes. People struggle with emotions. The stronger those emotions are, the more they will struggle. The more complex the reasons, the less forthcoming people are. When someone then says "hey, I really would have appreciated a little bit more from my friends" they can, naturally, get defensive. Particularly (to go back to my first paragraph) when they feel they've given, repeatedly. Which is where we start to see the great differences between people with varying emotional needs. No one need is better than the other, it just requires a different approach, and it can be very difficult for people with opposing needs to fully understand each other. Not impossible, but difficult to achieve a balance where both are mutually satisfied and not at odds with each other.
Being a very deep and caring person, having the ability to express your emotions, is a beautiful thing. Not many people are able to do that, and not many are able to grasp the value you genuinely place on visible, continued expressions of support. Or at least not that you require perhaps confirmation of the support that is being given, rather than assuming people are doing so (in a very reserved way).
At the same time, having the support you believe you had offered thrown back at you, or indeed having the support you've thrown at others used against you because someone feels that they have not been treated fairly, is going to sting. It's going to cause emotions, and while some people may not exhibit them as freely as others it's going to cause hurt. Especially when those people have spent a lot of hours putting what they consider a lot of effort and time into the situation. Again this is simply a clash of needs and/or expectations.
People on both ends can end up being very, very hurt in these situations, and not always in that good, self reflective way.
I very, very rarely reply to prayer requests/check up on forum members unless I feel they are at risk, for that I know that I'm at fault. If it is something I can grow from, then as painful as it is to reveal that part of yourself then (selfishly) our lives are improved. Always good to have the blinkers removed now and then.
it's helpful to know what you're praying for. Here in this part of the state, meds are controlled ridiculously. There are a lot of abusers and the health care system is messed up. A lot of doctors are drug pushers, but mostly since they keep going back and forth. I think last time they gave her morphine she was in so much pain.
