What would you do...

[Wiccan_Child]

..if you discovered that your spouse was homosexual?

If the person with whom you had ben in a heterosexual married relationship with for many years told you that they were homosexual, how would you react?
Do you think that a marriage can survive in those circumstances?

Just researching

I'd first wonder why a supposedly-straight man married me in the first place. Hmm...

 

[FindingaWay]

Sometimes people do things they think are right and discover the problems later.
Sometimes we trust people who are older and presumably wiser.
Sometimes we can be stupid, without necessarily deliberately lying or deceiving.

And sometimes those charged by God with loving and helping bring nothing but condemnation however hard we are trying to do His will.

Thank you to the couple of people who answered compassionately.

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Sometimes people do things they think are right and discover the problems later.
Sometimes we trust people who are older and presumably wiser.
Sometimes we can be stupid, without necessarily deliberately lying or deceiving.

And sometimes those charged by God with loving and helping bring nothing but condemnation however hard we are trying to do His will.

Thank you to the couple of people who answered compassionately.

(((FindingaWay)))

I didn't totally respond to your question before, but I'd say that both parties would need to decide if they wanted to stay in the marriage as well. From what I can remember, marriage is a sacrement within many denominations (all though not all). In honesty, I think the questions he'd probably ask are similar to those Bellicus mentioned - if the marriage continued, would he think it was because you wanted to be there, or because you felt it was your duty (but secretly hated every moment). If it ended, would it be because he cared so much about you that he could not keep you if it made you unhappy, or because he felt betrayed?

I'm not sure if we can answer the question properly..I think the marriage could survive, but would you both want it to? And who is your reasoning for? You, him, your children, your church, your God, your extended family, your friends, etc? Would whoever you're doing it for tell you you were doing the right thing (in whichever decision you make) if they knew your reasoning for it?

And now I'll stop the 100 questions and attempt to pull my overly-large foot out .

 

[Crazy Liz]

(((FindingaWay)))

I didn't totally respond to your question before, but I'd say that both parties would need to decide if they wanted to stay in the marriage as well. From what I can remember, marriage is a sacrement within many denominations (all though not all). In honesty, I think the questions he'd probably ask are similar to those Bellicus mentioned - if the marriage continued, would he think it was because you wanted to be there, or because you felt it was your duty (but secretly hated every moment). If it ended, would it be because he cared so much about you that he could not keep you if it made you unhappy, or because he felt betrayed?

Those are good questions, but in real life (especially after a long marriage with children) it's usually not either/or, but both/and.

I'm not sure if we can answer the question properly..I think the marriage could survive, but would you both want it to? And who is your reasoning for? You, him, your children, your church, your God, your extended family, your friends, etc? Would whoever you're doing it for tell you you were doing the right thing (in whichever decision you make) if they knew your reasoning for it?

I would expect all of the above.

And now I'll stop the 100 questions and attempt to pull my overly-large foot out .

The questions are a good start in thinking about situations like the OP described.

((((BC))))



(((((((FAW)))))))

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Those are good questions, but in real life (especially after a long marriage with children) it's usually not either/or, but both/and.

Yes, I'd probably think something similar. There are never easy answers .