What Would YOU Do If . . .?

[hsmommyofmany]

Okay, for those of you who keep bringing up the term "lifestyle": are you aware that lifestyle and orientation are not the same thing? Do you realize that sexual orientation does not a lifestyle make, even if it plays a role in shaping an overall way of living?

I'm just wondering, because I see this term "lifestyle" bandied about whenever a discussion about GLBT issues comes up, used in a way that has little to do with its common definition. What gives?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.



(Reps for the first person to get the pop culture reference.)

INCONCEIVABLE....PRINCESS BRIDE BABY...!! great movie.

 

[gwenmead]

INCONCEIVABLE....PRINCESS BRIDE BABY...!! great movie.

Woot! Reps comin' your way!

I'm seriously curious about the use of the word "lifestyle" goin' on. It just never seems to really fit, so I'm all ears for anybody's thoughts on it.

 

[angellica]

Woot! Reps comin' your way!

I'm seriously curious about the use of the word "lifestyle" goin' on. It just never seems to really fit, so I'm all ears for anybody's thoughts on it.

To me, the "gay lifestyle" is being gay and thinking that it is not sinful, regardless of whether there is sex involved.

 

[wanderingone]

But, the psychiatrist would probably determine that they are perfectly 'normal' ...for them.

I have no idea what a reassignment camp is.

Well then you need to watch "But I'm a cheerleader"

---------------------------------

There are very few things my minor child could do that would cause me to say they couldn't live under my roof. My daughter has several friends who are on the street or in foster care because their parents tossed them out of their homes for being gay. I don't understand anyone thinking it's okay to put the responsibility to care for their child on society because they don't have total control over every aspect of their kids lives.

-------
This question was asked in the women's forum here on CF some times ago and most people answered that their children would never say that because they believed that they were raising their children appropriately and there would never be any reason for their child to "become" gay.

The primary theory among the moms was that people are gay because they have bad relationships with one of the parents (I no longer remember if the theory was about the same sex or the opposite sex parent) I pointed out that theory didn't hold water for my daughter or my cousin both of whom are gay..

To be fair though.. I'm not sure it's a question people can really answer honestly. We can all say what we believe we would do in a situation, but when it's in front of us we often don't react in the way we imagine we would. I know people who feel they wouldn't get upset about the discovery that one of their children was gay, and then when it happens they are crushed and have a difficult time dealing with it.

My daughter has a friend who finally told his parents he was gay and was ready to be tossed out because they are conservative Christians people who said they would never tolerate... (a laundry list of offenses) they don't really cope well with it, but they won't put him out and are not treating him badly either. They're doing the best they can not to alienate him. He's doing the best he can not to turn it into some big rebellion.

 

[gwenmead]

To me, the "gay lifestyle" is being gay and thinking that it is not sinful, regardless of whether there is sex involved.

Okay. Thank you for your response.

I'd think that being gay would be an orientation, and thinking there's nothing wrong with it ("thinking it's not sinful", in your words) would be an attitude or opinion about it. But neither would be a lifestyle, per se. Lifestyles are usually about where you live, what kind of people you hang out with, what your hobbies are, what your income level is, what your habits are, stuff like that... a much bigger picture, of which being gay might be a huge part, or hardly any part at all.

Hence my wondering.

 

[angellica]

Well then you need to watch "But I'm a cheerleader"

---------------------------------

There are very few things my minor child could do that would cause me to say they couldn't live under my roof. My daughter has several friends who are on the street or in foster care because their parents tossed them out of their homes for being gay. I don't understand anyone thinking it's okay to put the responsibility to care for their child on society because they don't have total control over every aspect of their kids lives.

-------
This question was asked in the women's forum here on CF some times ago and most people answered that their children would never say that because they believed that they were raising their children appropriately and there would never be any reason for their child to "become" gay.

The primary theory among the moms was that people are gay because they have bad relationships with one of the parents (I no longer remember if the theory was about the same sex or the opposite sex parent) I pointed out that theory didn't hold water for my daughter or my cousin both of whom are gay..

To be fair though.. I'm not sure it's a question people can really answer honestly. We can all say what we believe we would do in a situation, but when it's in front of us we often don't react in the way we imagine we would. I know people who feel they wouldn't get upset about the discovery that one of their children was gay, and then when it happens they are crushed and have a difficult time dealing with it.

My daughter has a friend who finally told his parents he was gay and was ready to be tossed out because they are conservative Christians people who said they would never tolerate... (a laundry list of offenses) they don't really cope well with it, but they won't put him out and are not treating him badly either. They're doing the best they can not to alienate him. He's doing the best he can not to turn it into some big rebellion.

I agree with them to an extent. I mean, being gay is not an option for me and my brother because, well, we aren't and it just isn't going to change. I couldn't see me raising anyone that would be gay. I'm really not trying to be rude, just honest.

 

[angellica]

Okay. Thank you for your response.

I'd think that being gay would be an orientation, and thinking there's nothing wrong with it ("thinking it's not sinful", in your words) would be an attitude or opinion about it. But neither would be a lifestyle, per se. Lifestyles are usually about where you live, what kind of people you hang out with, what your hobbies are, what your income level is, what your habits are, stuff like that... a much bigger picture, of which being gay might be a huge part, or hardly any part at all.

Hence my wondering.

Yes, all those things are the lifestyle, but the gay lifestyle is sort of like a sub-section of lifestyle, for lack of a better way of explaining it. I mean your lifestyle can be comprised of your sexual/gender lifestyle, your food lifestyle, your whatever lifestyle, but if the gay lifestyle is part of it, I would not support it or condone it.

 

[corvus_corax]

Oh sorry, I misread it or something. I would not kick them out of the house. However, there would be no pornography allowed in the house, and of course no sexual activity.

So you would treat the heterosexual virgin (guilty of fornication in his mind) differently than the homosexual virgin (guilty of the same).

Glad to see you admit that.
Apparently, to you, there are differences in sin, although the Bible that I assume you adhere to makes no such difference.

You wouldn't kick your heterosexual child out of the house due to "sin" (or even a sinful lifestyle of fantasizing) , excepting for pornography and or sexual acts.
But a gay child who acts the EXACT same way, you would kick out of your house.

A double standard that doesn't even stand up to Biblical standards.

Of course, I knew that before I even proposed my question to you.
Because many Christians are like that....holding one sin as "worse" than another.

Thanks for verifying what I already suspected

 

[KCKID]

To me, the "gay lifestyle" is being gay and thinking that it is not sinful, regardless of whether there is sex involved.

Not biblical, Ms Angellica. One's sexual attraction toward another of the same gender is not even addressed in the scriptures. And, as mentioned, NO ONE knows how God feels about this issue so we have no divine authority calling sexual orientation 'a sin'. We DO know that Jesus, even though He has much to say about the sexual sins of heterosexuals, says NOTHING about homosexuality, let alone sexual orientation. He certainly had the opportunity to do so, so why not?

 

[a.d.ivNonasNovembres]

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

I would suspect they already know that I believe that homosexual sex is sinful. I would also suspect that any child of mine would know I don't believe sexual orientation exists.
So since they already know my opinions on the crucial issues I'd probably say something patronising like "is that so dear" before getting back to cooking breakfast or whatever.

Of course if they sincerely want my help or whatever they only have to ask to get it. But I am not good at noticing things like that. I think I'd assume they were trying to get a reaction tbh. After all, the apple does not fall far from the contraversialist tree.

 

[angellica]

So you would treat the heterosexual virgin (guilty of fornication in his mind) differently than the homosexual virgin (guilty of the same).

Glad to see you admit that.
Apparently, to you, there are differences in sin, although the Bible that I assume you adhere to makes no such difference.

You wouldn't kick your heterosexual child out of the house due to "sin" (or even a sinful lifestyle of fantasizing) , excepting for pornography and or sexual acts.
But a gay child who acts the EXACT same way, you would kick out of your house.

A double standard that doesn't even stand up to Biblical standards.

Of course, I knew that before I even proposed my question to you.
Because many Christians are like that....holding one sin as "worse" than another.

Thanks for verifying what I already suspected

No, the homosexual wants to openly date people of the same sex.

 

[hsmommyofmany]

Lifestyle

 

[angellica]

Not biblical, Ms Angellica. One's sexual attraction toward another of the same gender is not even addressed in the scriptures. And, as mentioned, NO ONE knows how God feels about this issue so we have no divine authority calling sexual orientation 'a sin'. We DO know that Jesus, even though He has much to say about the sexual sins of heterosexuals, says NOTHING about homosexuality, let alone sexual orientation. He certainly had the opportunity to do so, so why not?

I do not agree. I think the Bible addresses homosexuality very clearly and says it is an abomination. If it were okay to have gay sex, I would think it would be mentioned and glorified like married (man/woman) sex is.

 

[wanderingone]

I agree with them to an extent. I mean, being gay is not an option for me and my brother because, well, we aren't and it just isn't going to change. I couldn't see me raising anyone that would be gay. I'm really not trying to be rude, just honest.

Well obviously it's not an "option" for you if you're straight. It's not an "option" for me either, I'm also straight. I didn't raise gay or straight kids, I raised kids... 2 of them are straight, 1 of them is gay. My aunt and uncle had 4 kids, 3 of them are straight, 1 of them is gay. Considering everyone had a pretty healthy relationship with the parents the thing about not having a good relationship being the cause of homosexuality just doesn't pan out.

But regardless of individual beliefs about anything your kid does being right or wrong, I can't comprehend the audacity of suddenly deciding that you won't be responsible for your kid. I wish I could be surprised at the number of kids who are abandoned, but these supposedly "good" parents who decide they aren't going to do it anymore because they don't like that their kid is gay...

My daughter's friend was not only put out by her parents at 14, (literally put out, they changed the locks and put a backpack outside with some of her clothes in it) after she ended up in state care they refused to pay child support - they said their daughter could live "right" or find some way to support herself. The state did not agree... there's some irony in my opinion that they are now paying child support in the amount determined by state law while their child resides in a foster home that is required to transport her and the other 2 kids in the home that are gay to a community youth group for GLBT teens as part of their individual care plans.

The kid might now have adults around her who are sensitive to her need for support, but she's still a kid who was abandoned for telling the people who "loved" her that she was gay... (yet one of the older sons has had 2 children with his girlfriend and is now over 18 and still living at home)

 

[angellica]

So you WOULD treat the heterosexual virgin son who's living a "lifestyle of sin" (ie fantasizing about having sex) differently that the homosexual son who's living the EXACT same "lifestyle" (ie fantasizing about having sex)
Thanks for your admitting such, because that's exactly what you have been admitting to-
A virgin homosexual you would kick out
But a virgin heterosexual (GUILTY of the sin of fornication as per Jesus) you would not.

Like I said, I already knew your answer beforehand, I just wanted to see you either admit to it or dance around it

Yay Christian hypocrisy!!!!

Well, if the gay kid just fantasized it, it would be one thing. But when he acts on it, that is different.

 

[corvus_corax]

I do not agree. I think the Bible addresses homosexuality very clearly and says it is an abomination. If it were okay to have gay sex, I would think it would be mentioned and glorified like married (man/woman) sex is.

The Bible also addresses, VERY clearly, notions of anger and lust (Jesus himself addressed those without even TOUCHING on same sex intercourse).
Apparently you wouldn't kick your kid out based on (heterosexual) lust (without consummation).
You've plainly stated so.
Even though your Jesus DIRECTLY addressed those kinds of sins.


Do

You

Get

It

Yet?

 

[KCKID]

I do not agree. I think the Bible addresses homosexuality very clearly and says it is an abomination. If it were okay to have gay sex, I would think it would be mentioned and glorified like married (man/woman) sex is.

Mentioned ...certainly. Glorified ...certainly NOT. Remember, women were the property of the male and their major role was to bear children and cater to the every whim of the male. (Actually, that doesn't sound such a bad idea).

But, if you believe that's glorifying marriage then perhaps you also believe that the pope ain't Catholic.

Homosexuality as we're discussing it on this forum was NOT clearly addressed in the Bible. Far from it. Also, as mentioned a zillion times, the word 'homosexual' as we know it to be - nor an equivalent word for it - was ever used in the original manuscripts of the Bible. Sorry to burst your bubble but 'homosexuality' and its present meaning just ain't there.

 

[hsmommyofmany]

I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID!!

anyway...LIFESTYLE..is the way you live your life. a homosexual lifestyle would be having homosexual relations (obviously) or going to gay bars and looking at gay magazines etc. or for heterosexuals it would be the same (having sex, looking at porn, etc) they are both wrong. i do not think anyone should have sex outside of marriage.

i think that if someone has homosexual feelings they should control their impulses just like the teenage male who fantasizes about girls. if a homosexual person is celebate and refrains from the homosexual lifestyle then i think thats ok. i think it is the lifestyle...the ACTS...that are the sin.

also people need to remember that there is a difference between living a lifestyle of sin and commiting A sin...a single act. a sinful lifestyle is like slapping God in the face because the person does it continually. i think they should be treated differently.

 

[angellica]

I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID!!

anyway...LIFESTYLE..is the way you live your life. a homosexual lifestyle would be having homosexual relations (obviously) or going to gay bars and looking at gay magazines etc. or for heterosexuals it would be the same (having sex, looking at porn, etc) they are both wrong. i do not think anyone should have sex outside of marriage.

i think that if someone has homosexual feelings they should control their impulses just like the teenage male who fantasizes about girls. if a homosexual person is celebate and refrains from the homosexual lifestyle then i think thats ok. i think it is the lifestyle...the ACTS...that are the sin.

also people need to remember that there is a difference between living a lifestyle of sin and commiting A sin...a single act. a sinful lifestyle is like slapping God in the face because the person does it continually. i think they should be treated differently.

Yes, thank you for explaining it . I agree.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

I try to shelter my children from gays and lesbians so they don't choose to follow that lifestyle.

They will either be heterosexual or homosexual regardless of who they do or do not see, it is not a choice in most circumstances.