What Would YOU Do If . . .?

[angellica]

Im not derailing this thread by proposing what I'm going to propose.
As a matter of fact, I'm focusing it more precisely, and specifically to the statements that angellica said.

"What would YOU do if your 15 year old son/daughter came to you and said "Um (clears throat), mom/dad...I fantasize about having sex with members of the opposite sex......ALL THE TIME"

Would you recommend spiritual/mental help?
What if they looked at you with confusion on their face and said "Why do I need HELP?"
What if they refused such help?
What if they accepted such help, but in the end the mental/spiritual "counselor" said something to the effect of "Yeah, your boy is gonna fantasize about women, probably for a very long time, and there's nothing to be done about it".

There is only one consistent answer-
Kick them out.
They are living a sinful lifestyle (even if the child is a virgin).
Yes, according to the Bible, they are.

So, angellica, are you consistent?

Or do you just pick and choose?
(N.B. it's okay if you pick and choose, most of us do)

There's a difference between sinning but knowing it is a sin and working with it, and living a lifestyle of sin.

 

[KCKID]

Im not derailing this thread by proposing what I'm going to propose.
As a matter of fact, I'm focusing it more precisely, and specifically to the statements that angellica said.

"What would YOU do if your 15 year old son/daughter came to you and said "Um (clears throat), mom/dad...I fantasize about having sex with members of the opposite sex......ALL THE TIME"

Would you recommend spiritual/mental help?
What if they looked at you with confusion on their face and said "Why do I need HELP?"
What if they refused such help?
What if they accepted such help, but in the end the mental/spiritual "counselor" said something to the effect of "Yeah, your boy is gonna fantasize about women, probably for a very long time, and there's nothing to be done about it".

There is only one consistent answer-
Kick them out.
They are living a sinful lifestyle (even if the child is a virgin).
Yes, according to the Bible, they are.

So, angellica, are you consistent?

Or do you just pick and choose?
(N.B. it's okay if you pick and choose, most of us do)

What say, Ms Angellica?

 

[OphidiaPhile]

There's a difference between sinning but knowing it is a sin and working with it, and living a lifestyle of sin.

And what about if the child also said that they are an atheist and find the belief in god to be something they personally find to be not possible?

 

[angellica]

And what about if the child also said that they are an atheist and find the belief in god to be something they personally find to be not possible?

I'd ask my pastor for help on what to do.

 

[KCKID]

And what about if the child also said that they are an atheist and find the belief in god to be something they personally find to be not possible?

Man, Ms Angellica's head must be about ready to explode!

A good - and quite valid - question, however.

 

[SiderealExalt]

If my daughter ends up a lesbian, ok. No problem. Her well being, safety and happiness are important to me. Her eventual sexual orientation is not. I know, simple but there you go.

 

[KCKID]

I'd ask my pastor for help on what to do.

And he, of course, would either ask God or search for an 'appropriate' Bible text. Either way, this would have no positive impact on your atheist child.

 

[TheBear]

I dunno cuz I don't have kids.

From reading your posts here, I already suspected that. Everything you've stated thus far, may or may not be the case if you ever do have a child who tells you he/she is gay. More than likely, you will not be as cold and heartless towards them in reality.

 

[KCKID]

Aren't you looking SO forward to having kids, Ms Angellica?

Just a bit of tongue-in-cheek jibe.

 

[JustMeSee]

I try to shelter my children from gays and lesbians so they don't choose to follow that lifestyle.

 

[angellica]

Aren't you looking SO forward to having kids, Ms Angellica?

Just a bit of tongue-in-cheek jibe.

I don't really want them, but I guess it could possibly happen..I may change my mind...one day...

 

[hsmommyofmany]

I always feel compelled to ask a question of those who are particularly Bible-militant in their stand against homosexuality. Now, we DO know that there are many homosexual people of both genders in the world. This cannot be denied. Furthermore, these good folks are the product of a heterosexual union at least ...whether or not one or other of the parents might be 'gay' or 'bi' or 'straight'. Moreover, any number of these good folks are also the product of Christian parents. Yep, even Christians produce homosexual kids! For instance, I have a good friend (a homosexual) whose parents are devoutly Christian ...whatever that might mean to them.

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

Obviously, anyone is welcome to respond to the question but I'm particularly interested in responses from some of the 'hardline' anti-'gay' members of the forum. And, please don't say that such a thing is highly improbable simply because you ARE a hardliner. Nature apparently doesn't discriminate between Christian/nonChristian parents when it comes to sexual orientation.

i think the first thing would be to talk to them more indepth. to find out if this is a fleeting feeling or something they have been struggling with for a long time. it is important to point them in the direction of Gods word and what he has to say about it and to make sure they understand the consequences of their choice.

it could just be passing fantasies and i then taking any drastic measures may be worthless. i would definately get them counseling with a christian counselor who specializes in dealing with gay children.

i think if the child is saved (has a personal relationship with Jesus) and they are 18 or older and have chosen a gay lifestyle i would make them move out. i would still maintain a relationship with them, i would still love them but i would not allow them to expose me or the rest of my family to their lifestyle.

if they are not a christian then i really can not justify any drastic measure but to love them as much as i can and to make sure that i am sharing Jesus with them. i would still not allow any homosexual activities in my house obviously ( i wouldnt allow any sexual activity in my home unless the couple is married) but the situation would be different for a non-christian.

just my 2 cents i guess.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I'd ask my pastor for help on what to do.

I have to say, angelica, I respect your dedication. Your posts might not always be polite, you do seem to be trying to be honest in them. We don't agree on our beliefs, but I think we are similar in the passion we have for our views - on this and a few other topics where we differ.

But to me, the entire idea that being gay is "wrong" conflicts with reality as I experience it. I have known many people who are gay, and while some of them hid it from others for fear of their safety, not one has ever appeared to suffer with their sexual orientation. I really cannot understand how other people can see anything wrong with people who fall in love with other people of their own gender - to me, romantic love (between two consenting adults) is love. To me, gender doesn't matter, so long as the two (consenting adult) people love one another.

I simply cannot understand how someone could kick their child out for being gay. As I said previous, I would be thrilled to have a gay child - because I would never have to worry about them getting (someone) unexpectedly pregnant. Not only would I support my (hypothetical) gay child, I would be fine with their boyfriend or girlfriend spending the night.

 

[KCKID]

i think the first thing would be to talk to them more indepth. to find out if this is a fleeting feeling or something they have been struggling with for a long time. it is important to point them in the direction of Gods word and what he has to say about it and to make sure they understand the consequences of their choice.

it could just be passing fantasies and i then taking any drastic measures may be worthless. i would definately get them counseling with a christian counselor who specializes in dealing with gay children.

i think if the child is saved (has a personal relationship with Jesus) and they are 18 or older and have chosen a gay lifestyle i would make them move out. i would still maintain a relationship with them, i would still love them but i would not allow them to expose me or the rest of my family to their lifestyle.

if they are not a christian then i really can not justify any drastic measure but to love them as much as i can and to make sure that i am sharing Jesus with them. i would still not allow any homosexual activities in my house obviously ( i wouldnt allow any sexual activity in my home unless the couple is married) but the situation would be different for a non-christian.

just my 2 cents i guess.

And, your 2 cents is what I asked for ...thank you.

 

[KCKID]

By the way, NO ONE knows how God feels about this issue. I don't know if anyone has noticed but God has not said a word about it. I'm not meaning to be facetious - I mean, deep down I believe in a Creator God - but I'm very much into logic and reason. God has no point of view that we know of on this or ANY specific issue. God hasn't spoken to me and I doubt that He's spoken to you (a general you). As for Jesus ...mum's the word.

 

[angellica]

I have to say, angelica, I respect your dedication. Your posts might not always be polite, you do seem to be trying to be honest in them. We don't agree on our beliefs, but I think we are similar in the passion we have for our views - on this and a few other topics where we differ.

But to me, the entire idea that being gay is "wrong" conflicts with reality as I experience it. I have known many people who are gay, and while some of them hid it from others for fear of their safety, not one has ever appeared to suffer with their sexual orientation. I really cannot understand how other people can see anything wrong with people who fall in love with other people of their own gender - to me, romantic love (between two consenting adults) is love. To me, gender doesn't matter, so long as the two (consenting adult) people love one another.

I simply cannot understand how someone could kick their child out for being gay. As I said previous, I would be thrilled to have a gay child - because I would never have to worry about them getting (someone) unexpectedly pregnant. Not only would I support my (hypothetical) gay child, I would be fine with their boyfriend or girlfriend spending the night.

I appreciate that.

I wouldn't let my kids gf/bf spend the night at all, for what that is worth. Maybe it would explain why I seem "harsh" in the other post - because I would not allow sexual activity of any kind in my house, or any kind of gay activity (romantic or sexual). Honestly, I've never kissed a guy in front of my parents, ever.

 

[KCKID]

I appreciate that.

I wouldn't let my kids gf/bf spend the night at all, for what that is worth. Maybe it would explain why I seem "harsh" in the other post - because I would not allow sexual activity of any kind in my house, or any kind of gay activity (romantic or sexual). Honestly, I've never kissed a guy in front of my parents, ever.

You appear to be quite prudish in regard to sex, Angellica. And, believe it or not, to a point, so am I. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with a certain amount of prudishness but to be overly so can cloud our judgment on issues such as this one tremendously.

I don't disagree with you on your view/stand to no sexual activity -whether 'gay' or 'straight' - in your home because that is your right. I probably wouldn't allow it either because, as I say, I'm rather prudish. I've had to learn - and accept - that others feel differently than I do.

 

[gwenmead]

Okay, for those of you who keep bringing up the term "lifestyle": are you aware that lifestyle and orientation are not the same thing? Do you realize that sexual orientation does not a lifestyle make, even if it plays a role in shaping an overall way of living?

I'm just wondering, because I see this term "lifestyle" bandied about whenever a discussion about GLBT issues comes up, used in a way that has little to do with its common definition. What gives?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.



(Reps for the first person to get the pop culture reference.)

 

[corvus_corax]

There's a difference between sinning but knowing it is a sin and working with it, and living a lifestyle of sin.

You didn't actually read my post
The son is sinning (i.e. fantasizing about having sex with women.....a sin)
When help is proposed, this virgin son says (and I quote) "WHY do I need help?"

Again (repeating here)
What if they refused such help?
What if they accepted such help, but in the end the mental/spiritual "counselor" said something to the effect of "Yeah, your boy is gonna fantasize about women, probably for a very long time, and there's nothing to be done about it".

There is only one consistent answer for you, since they are living a "lifestyle" of sin-
Kick them out.



Now, would you be consistent and actually kick the consistently sinning child out of your house?
Yes or no.

The answer IS that easy.
Although I notice your avoidance of it.

Please just yes (and the reasons behind your decision)
Or no (and the reasons behind your decision)

And this time, please actually read my post and respond based on that reading.

Thanks

 

[angellica]

You didn't actually read my post
The son is sinning (i.e. fantasizing about having sex with women.....a sin)
When help is proposed, this virgin son says (and I quote) "WHY do I need help?"

Again (repeating here)
What if they refused such help?
What if they accepted such help, but in the end the mental/spiritual "counselor" said something to the effect of "Yeah, your boy is gonna fantasize about women, probably for a very long time, and there's nothing to be done about it".

There is only one consistent answer for you, since they are living a "lifestyle" of sin-
Kick them out.



Now, would you be consistent and actually kick the consistently sinning child out of your house?
Yes or no.

The answer IS that easy.
Although I notice your avoidance of it.

Please just yes (and the reasons behind your decision)
Or no (and the reasons behind your decision)

And this time, please actually read my post and respond based on that reading.

Thanks

Oh sorry, I misread it or something. I would not kick them out of the house. However, there would be no pornography allowed in the house, and of course no sexual activity.