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Allow me to play Devil's Advocate and side with the Christians here for a moment. @Nihilist Virus @cvanwey Let me know what you think about this. Was rape all that bad for women in that culture? What's the harm, really?
Think about this, one aspect of rape that makes it so terrible is that the victim often feels guilt because their body still has the automatic physiological response of arousal amidst abject terror. Because of that automatic response, the victim thinks that they're responsible because it feels as if they actually had the desire, on some level, perhaps only subconsciously. But in their culture, providing sex for their husband was their function as they understood it. There's nothing to feel guilty about because even if you hated doing it, you were doing what you were supposed to be doing.
Another example. Victims often feel a loss of control from being forced to do something they had no desire to do. Their autonomy was disrupted so violently that victims often develop things like eating disorders to have control over something in their lives that they feel they've lost. But in that culture, women never really had autonomy. It was their lot in life to be used by men, so they likely accepted their fate from an early age. If you never felt like you had a right to choose whether and who you had intercourse with, it wouldn't really be a shock to not be given a choice, would it?
Even the physical violence of it all wouldn't necessarily exist if women were simply accepting that the choice wasn't theirs. I mean, they wouldn't be resisting even if they lacked any desire, so it probably didn't cause the kinds of physical trauma we see today that likely occurs mostly because women today are putting up a fight.
So maybe we're thinking about rape anachronistically. If women are subjugated hard enough, they'll probably consent to anything, and then it isn't really rape anymore, is it? Maybe rape just wasn't a big deal no matter how often it happened. Waddya think?
'Good' points... Let's keep them in there, and then make a 'conclusion'?
Regardless of what any past, current, or future definition of 'rape' may be; or how the term 'rape' may evolve over time, it would appear God weighed in on this topic (i.e.) Numbers 31. And since God did so, we must ask ourselves....
Group A conquers group B, spares the 'beautiful virgin(s)', takes her/them as his/their wife/wives one month later, BUT the woman/women remain disgusted with this/these person(s), states they wish not to have relations with them, or states 'she is not in the mood'. Since they are now 'married', does she really have a say in the matter?
The reason I pose this scenario, is because, yes.... Your provided examples could very well be the case in some instances. However, taking the (black and white) approach mentioned prior by @Nihilist Virus and maybe @cloudyday2 , that some women may remain repulsed by the party whom slayed their entire family right in front of them, does the woman have the 'right' to refuse such apparent sanctioned courtships?
Again, what is the most basic and 'universal' definition of the word 'rape'?
Webster states:
"unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception"
Well, the beginning states 'unlawful'. Hence, the reason I posed the term 'sham marriages.' Meaning, once 'married', the man has full say, and according to the Bible, the woman is not mentioned as having any say-so. What if the woman agreed to marriage under duress? Marriage appeared the 'loophole' necessary for such men to receive/obtain carte blanche.
Moving forward, 'rape' would appear to entail the term 'consent'. However, in such a case, (i.e.) in Numbers 31, was consent from the woman required?.?.?.? I doubt it.
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