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Featured What to say to a sister who attends multiple churches and small groups?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by sccs, Feb 9, 2019.

  1. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    I understand your frustration would be hard pressed to not be in that situation however you must not let the flesh puff up and compare what you do to others in regards to the work put in.

    As for when they are reached out to is the conversation started with where are you or why ain't you helping . it should start with kindness example my friend we miss you and love you please tell us what troubles you so we may by Christs power help.

    True common curtisoy they should let someone know before disappearing however something horrific may have happened and their natural response is to shut down and shut out
     
  2. New Birth

    New Birth Well-Known Member

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    condemning not at all. Not sure why you would start that narrative. The poster wants advise, Im just trying to answer with real world answers.
     
  3. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    It sounded as if the OP was being condemned for bringing up the question. I apologize if that was not your intent.

    I think the question should be explored with all possible answers; your opinion is as valid as another as long as you're not trying to make people feel guilty for not agreeing with it.
     
  4. New Birth

    New Birth Well-Known Member

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    So the question is "what do i do in this situation" and I would also say 1. are you in a place of authority to correct guest in the church and not members? 2. Have you talked to the Pastor about your concern? 3. Why would you think its your business to correct the behavior of a visitor? 4. are visitors able to come and go as they please in your church, if not why not?
    5. do you understand your frustration will spill over into the congregation and will create gossip and tension between this visitor and the rest of the church. 6. Do you know that tension will cause the church body to want to reject the visitor rather than to welcome her and will cause the guest to not feel welcome at your church.
     
  5. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    Believe and be baptized we agree . who has the right to say one who believes isn't worthy of baptism because they won't join the denomination you are I speak in general not at you. Look at the NT people believe ask to be baptized and as soon as possible they are in Christs name to honour Christ is to honour the Father 3 are 1 thus its okay to baptize in Christs name BUT we have drifted from the OP open invitation for you to PM me to speak on other matters please address what I've said in multiple posts on what the OP is about.
    .

    Acts 19:1-41
    And it happened that while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul passed through the inland country and came to Ephesus. There he found some disciples. And he said to them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” And they said, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” And he said, “Into what then were you baptized?” They said, “Into John's baptism.” And Paul said, “John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in the one who was to come after him, that is, Jesus.” On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus
     
  6. New Birth

    New Birth Well-Known Member

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    I believe in Jesus name Baptism. If you create a thread I will definitely engage if I find it.
     
  7. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    Also we must all come to the same agreement, Bible is the Word of God thus any idea must be grounded in it and able to stand up to Scripture . we all SHOULD be seeking TRUTH. May the Holy Ghost guide us and not the will of man.
     
  8. RickardoHolmes

    RickardoHolmes Member

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  9. mreeed

    mreeed shalom...

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    I think there is more than one way to look at this, and a layered approach is helpful, and we will likely find more points in common with each other. In an individual situation, no problem is necessarily presented, at least at the outset. We generally want to assume the best at first and consider the various seasons a 'floater' or 'bouncer' person may be in. For the purposes of this discussion, it may help to think of floating (toward) as trying to decide or divide participation between presumably good options in different places, whereas bouncing (away) as trying to avoid some aspect of church, spirituality, or discipline (possibly not even realizing it). We cannot assume what is going on at an individual level, though if a particular sin or character defect becomes an issue those in closeness or authority may see fit to bring it up with that person in love one on one.

    But if it is a pattern in the congregation, especially a spreading pattern, in a particular church or community which PeterJames alludes to, though OP doesn't seem to, I can see why it would be discouraging and it is worth discussing how to fix it and still on point to round out this thread. I'm not sure how much of this can be fixed at the individual level.

    More work on less people can lead to resentment and/or more quitting, which tends to continue its cycle. Perhaps there needs to be more of a focus on the essentials, and less on programs that don't have the resources to continue running them. My one pastor makes it a point to emphasize that the church is the people (and does not hinge on him) and programs are limited and more related to peoples' initiative, which he will support as appropriate. Giving us more time to focus on personal relational ministry.

    Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. This is no trite statement; Jesus did not live an easy life, and it could well be said he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was(is) God and also human, but not superhuman. Sometimes he was tired and left the crowds to be replenished by His Father. God knows what we need, and knows we need rest. Other times despite Jesus' tiredness and wanting that respite from the constant crowds, we see his compassion (not, it would seem, his sense of duty) on the multitudes overcoming what he felt physically. His yoke for us is His 'servant-brother' calling on us as His Body, using His strength. But the fellowship of the Father (except at the cross) was His life, and the joy set before him was enough, and he fulfilled His calling.

    We are sharing in Him for the joy set before us also. The Lord sees your faithful service whether in public or in secret, and He will reward you. (He is your first allegiance, not the physical church.) Sometimes it is hard to actually grasp the promise of eternal reward as reality in the sense of living like it's so. Like the tale told of the man traveling some ages ago to claim a rich inheritance, but having his carriage break down. Will we still carry on in joy knowing what is waiting for us which can far more than make up for any lack, or will we focus only on the setback in front of us? If we can discover and cultivate this kind of Kingdom culture, we may find more people want to stick around to be a part of it.

    So then: How do we live and inspire a culture of joy in the service of the Lord?
     
  10. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    I definitely confess a terrible attitude toward the church bouncer based on previously bad experiences that I have had. My personal convictions are IFB, but I can definitely see where membership what ifs and what if nots are extremely tiring after a while and I envy those churches with open membership and faith in God.
     
  11. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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    You are talking about people who I presume are members of your church deciding not to do things they promised to do and going off to other churches. As I understand the OP this woman isn’t a member. That is a different situation then what you are describing.

    So, how do you deal with this? Do you only allow someone to visit your church a certain number of times and tell them that after that number of visits they have to either join or go elsewhere? That wouldn’t happen at my church.

    BTW , you are talking with someone who is a past president of church council. That is pretty much a full time job. So yes, I am used to memberrs who commit and then back out. That happens when you deal with volunteers. You just deal with it.
     
  12. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    I admit there's a little bit more I am holding back, but have found someone to discuss it in pm.

    Suffice to say, I apologize that my sour attitude in ministry tainted my beliefs on the intent of the particular person mentioned in the original post.
     
  13. RickardoHolmes

    RickardoHolmes Member

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    To The OP How about saying this

    "Sister _____ I love it when you are here with us. You bring so much insight and talent and we are so happy to have you here. I am so Thankful to God for sending you into my life. God Loves you and I love you. "

    Leave it at that
     
  14. danbuter

    danbuter Member Supporter

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    It's not people's jobs to do extra work at church. It's their job to show up and worship Jesus. If they want to volunteer for extra duties, great! You can't expect anyone to do more than show up on Sunday, though. Any further expectations are completely on you, not them.
     
  15. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    Wow. I highly disagree with you.

    Church isn't an entertainment night club where you get to come in, pay a cover fee for the place, and enjoy the entertainment that you call 'worship.'

    According to 1 Cor 12 - every single Christian has been given a spiritual gift to exercise in the context of the local church. If they are just seat warmers, then they are not using the gifts God expects them to use in the body.

    Also, isn't there some rule that says if a thread is dead - don't resurrect it. You've just brought up old hurts.
     
  16. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    On the other hand, I didn't find any of that in the post being replied to.

    The person who comes to church for fellowship, instruction, and worship is certainly in step with the Biblical admonitions that deal with this issue. IF he absolutely refuses to participate in any other of the congregational activities, there might be an issue, but there isn't one based upon what has been said since the thread was re-started.
     
  17. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    I guess I was negatively replying to someone who saw how busy I was an insisted I do all the work of the church while everyone else gets to come in, sit down, make a mess, leave, and complain.

    Thankfully, that hasn't happened in our church for quite a while (people complaining about stuff they're not willing to do that is). So it's a non-issue ... at least today.
     
  18. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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    Remember, this is Christian Advice. We cannot debate matters here, we are simply to offer advice to the OP.
     
  19. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    I'll drop it at this point since I'm quite upset at the unprovoked exchange.
     
  20. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

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    I would not speak to her about this issue. I see no real issue from your perspective.

    She is not engaged in sin, so there is nothing to confront.

    She is simply attending more than one church.

    That just isn't something worth confronting. If she was living with her boyfriend, that's something to confront.

    I don't see anything here worth spending your time on.

    Now I wouldn't suggest someone do this. It's hard to grow a deep community, when you are part of multiple communities. But that isn't something you are here to correct. That's on her to determine that for herself.

    My main point is, if you are going to confront something, and put in the energy to have this kind of an argument, make sure it is something worth putting the energy into.

    If she was doing something that could send her to hell for eternity, then yes you need to step it up and confront her. But this isn't that, or anything close to that, or even something that is actually wrong.

    Let it go. Be a good brother, and just care about your sister in the faith. That's what I would do.
     
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