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Featured What to say to a sister who attends multiple churches and small groups?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by sccs, Feb 9, 2019.

  1. justme6272

    justme6272 Newbie

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    The scriptures say we are to fellowship with and support other believers. That's what makes up the church that belongs to Jesus. Until it becomes torture, I'll force myself just out of obedience if nothing else. It's not like there isn't anyone there to like. It's more the powers-at-be who get on my nerves and I try to avoid them like the plague. It's amazing to me how some retain a place on the payroll and receive a paycheck and benefits package. I just remind myself of the fact that enough people think more of them than I do, or they wouldn't have a church. But then, you can say that about cult leaders too, so I'm not so sure that having a following means much. Just look at faith healers and other charlatans.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2019
  2. mark kennedy

    mark kennedy Natura non facit saltum Supporter

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    I tried a number of different churches early, enjoyed the different approaches. It's all well and good until you start to get into doctrinal issues. A new Christian probably wouldn't think much about it but I used to go to an Apostolic (Jesus Only) church when my church let out. Went to a week long prophecy crusuade and made some good friends. Then I found out they reject the Trinity and thought I was improperly batised, should have been in Jesus name they told me. Apart from something like that it's harmless but doctrinal differences can be a very big deal.
     
  3. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    Ah okay I understand where your coming from now. I personally don't have faith in myself , I know I am nothing good I know that without Christ there is nothing I can do of my own power to be saved . as for the bouncing ideas and discuss ing what I understand with others that's why I'm here my friend. I urgently wish for fellowship my issues arises when I walk into a church and see and hear unbiblical things , to this I ask the preacher if the Bible says y then why do you do x . I have yet to get a anwser last time the preacher didn't even get a Bible to explain he just gave me run around answers till I said okay seeing it was leading no where . perfect example of my issues with denomination s is I asked a baptist preacher to baptize me he was gun ho till he realized , I didn't want to be baptized into his church rather I wanted to be baptized in Christs name with no non biblical things added. He then kept pushing the date back until I stopped going . he never even contacted me to see what was going on. I reached out to him one last time only to get a run around about when my baptism would be.
     
  4. Aldebaran

    Aldebaran Star Power!

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    One thing that comes to mind when I read this is that she might see different things about different churches and gatherings that appeal to her. It's not much different than a person having 3 different friends that they hang out with at different times. Each friend has qualities that this person finds appealing in different ways. One friend is someone that can be confided in, while another is fun to attend events with, while another likes certain hobbies that the person has in common. Different churches and study groups may be different from one another as well. One church may emphasize praise and worship while another emphasizes studying the Word in depth. It can be difficult to exclude one or the other by choosing only one.
     
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  5. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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    And as I have said multiple times, there is nothing wrong with what this woman is doing.

    I never said that Mary and Martha were a literal metaphor for church operations. I said only that this situation reminded me of them. I am not proposing them as an analogy. Sone in this thread have said that church jumping is wrong because if everyone did it the churches would survive. My point that that there will always be people like Martha who will keep local churches going.
     
  6. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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  7. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    Yes, there is something wrong with what this woman is doing [or not doing]. She is being a discouragement to other Christians by not committing to a church body; she is not working as 1 Corinthians 12 teaches - as a part of the local body (not universal body since the universal church has never assembled in one place at one time); and she is not doing herself any favors by deciding to remain outside of God's local churches.

    I'm not saying she should choose just any church; nor am I saying she should join my church or my type of church. I'm saying she should ask the Lord which church she should join and stay there; if the Lord doesn't give her an answer ... then we truly are in the Laodicean church age. Without further information, I can't determine if that's what's happened here.

    I find it insulting that my desire to be a faithful Christian in a local church should be looked upon as, 'Well, there will always be people like that ... therefore, we can church bounce.'
     
  8. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    Open another thread on the baptism issue you brought up and invite me to see it and I'd be happy to discuss that further with you. From a preliminary glance, I would side with the Pastor even though he doesn't seem to have decided to explain to you *why* he believes what he believes. But in fairness to the OP, it should probably have its own thread. :)
     
  9. RickardoHolmes

    RickardoHolmes Member

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    I agree with Archivist
    the women in question is doing nothing wrong.

    I know that I would not be so self righteous as to even think of criticizing someone who does this. I strive to live without insecurity and jealousy, which would be at the root of anyone being so good as to think that they get to choose how others worship.
    we do not fully know another person's situation, even if we might think that we do. Our calling is to love, not judge, not fear and not to control. If anyone wants to be a positive influence on another, then let the actions of love,
    The radiant Light of Christ, shine through first.
     
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  10. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    Agreed care to pm? I earnestly wish to know why at a glance you side with the pastor that I seem to be not worthy of baptism.

    Acts 8:26-40

    26 Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Rise and go toward the south[a] to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” This is a desert place. 27 And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship 28 and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. 29 And the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and join this chariot.” 30 So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. 32 Now the passage of the Scripture that he was reading was this:

    “Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter
    and like a lamb before its shearer is silent,
    so he opens not his mouth.
    33
    In his humiliation justice was denied him.
    Who can describe his generation?
    For his life is taken away from the earth.”

    34 And the eunuch said to Philip, “About whom, I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?” 35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning with this Scripture he told him the good news about Jesus. 36 And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, “See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?” 38 And he commanded the chariot to stop, and they both went down into the water, Philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him. 39 And when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he passed through he preached the gospel to all the towns until he came to Caesarea.
     
  11. Archivist

    Archivist Senior Veteran Supporter

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    How is she being "a discouragement to other Christians" by not committing to a church body? She is attending church. I certainly don't find that to be a discouragement. And 1 Corinthians 12 doesn't talk about a need to join a local church.

    And at some point I presume that she will find the right church and join. Until then, why is it an issue?

    I'm not sure why you have such a problem with it.
     
  12. DaveM

    DaveM New Member

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    I think its wonderful she is so active and seeking, has she not met a obligation? or has she been untruthful?

    Are you the one being judgmental because she does not fit into your little box?? I say this with respect just a question to ask yourself that all

    should we not be more concerned about the people who do not attend bible study at all or go to church??
     
  13. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    That's fine; I don't mind being in the minority with my opinions.

    I am not criticizing her, however. I think I have made it abundantly clear her spirituality is her own spirituality; she could bounce around to 100 churches in a 6 month period -it doesn't bother me any.

    But if we're talking about spiritual growth; if we're talking about a pattern in the New Testament given to us to follow; and if we're talking about whether God is pleased with her or not - I say, not if she's floundering.

    Is she doing something morally wrong? No. It has nothing to do with morality, rather personal growth that is not measured by one's own personal whims or feelings of growth. Is she sinning? Again, she is not sinning unless God has called her to join an assembly; if she's not convinced God has called her to join an assembly, best not use the word sin in the conversation.

    However, since we see a clear pattern in the Bible of believe, baptize, and join a church (in that order) - I highly doubt there are people in the world today to whom God is saying - nah, don't join a church.

    Again, you think I'm wrong - that's cool. I never mind being in the minority of opinions.
     
  14. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    1. She is being a discouragement to smaller churches who rely on attendance to breathe purpose and life into the assembly; a church is not some sort of social club. It is like a "ship" in this desert world of sin; the "ship" has a destination and the members of that body have the gifts given to them by God to steer the boat in the right direction and throw life racks out to those who would come.

    But when the people attending are not regularly attending but jumping from one place to another, you discourage the Pastor who loves them and sees them floundering, you discourage the people who want to see their church grow both spiritually and numerically, and you place yourself outside the "the gates shall not prevail against it" promise. I understand if you believe in a universal, invisible church (as I do not) - then that last part is not a problem.

    2. I have a problem with it because I can see this lack in the people of our own church. I wish I could go into more details, but I don't really want to on a public feed. The bottom line is, I've been burned one too many times by people who 'committed' themselves to certain tasks around the church and later decided - I'm not going to do them and I'm not going to tell you I'm not going to do them anymore and I'm going to go off to other churches and work for them. All ... not telling anyone what is going on.

    Then you've got the people who say, 'Since I don't want to be like those other Christians, I'm just not going to do anything at all. I'm going to show up to church, pay an offering, and let others feed me rather than I actually do anything. This way no one can accuse me of not doing something I said I would do ... since I've decided not to do anything.'

    So, if this woman wants to continue going church to church, it's fine. But if I were the Pastor (thank God I never will be) and she came up and asked if she could work for the church - I'd say - maybe. Let's talk about what a commitment to a local church is first.
     
  15. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    I have been through and continue through the NT .verses that show believe baptize join a church please I agree with the first two, to join a church you were not convicted by the Holy Ghost do you not see the issue with that? if you are a believer you shall be lead by the Holy Ghost not the flesh with its self will . you found a church you approve of that don't stray from Scripture because you have studied and compare the two great I'm so happy for you I wish to find the same, to join a church because some say you should and you never make sure the preacher and church's ideology is on sound Biblical doctrine I see issue there.
     
  16. Gregory95

    Gregory95 You will know them by their fruits

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    Is the pastor to worry about attendance or his flock is truly in Christ

    Christ said to send out people to share the Gospel not only preach in a building

    Instead of worrying about slack you have to pick up why not worry about what happen to the person . did they start to fall they need to be reached out to and treated with kindness to resolve the issue .
     
  17. New Birth

    New Birth Well-Known Member

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    I would leave her alone, I believe in being faithful to a local assembly but people cant be forced or pressured to do something especially by the laity. I would say let her make her own choices and stay out of her business it only leads to gossip and strife.
     
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  18. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    Absolutely, you need to worry about people in general. But in terms of the 'slack you have to pick up ...'

    Frankly, I'm tired. Tired of picking up everybody's slack, trying to work two jobs, take care of my family, be a deacon at a church, etc. and then having to pick up more slack from people who don't want to do work and decide not to tell us they are quitting. At least have the decency to tell us you quit.

    Then we call and ask what happened and we're told - 'Stay out of my business.'

    So it's not just the people who are in the boat rowing; it's also the people forced to row harder, my friend.
     
  19. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    So then your condemning the original poster for asking the question? I wouldn't go so far even if I disagree and am in the minority of opinions ...
     
  20. PeterJames0510

    PeterJames0510 New Member

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    Let's start back at the beginning of this conversation.

    From your understanding of the Scriptures, what is the purpose of baptism?

    From my understanding, Baptism is a fulfillment of the Great Commission. Jesus is speaking to His first church, the original 12 Apostles. What does He say to them?

    Matthew 28
    19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
    20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.


    Here, the pattern is established. 'Teach all nations ...' Why? So they may believe.

    Secondly, baptize in the name of the Trinity ...

    Third, teach them to observe ... how can they be taught? Why would they flounder or go church to church? The original apostles stayed faithful to the first church with Jesus as their Shepherd. How else can one be discipled except with other faithful believers?

    The Baptism, in this verse, is an identification of who they are; but it comes after belief and before discipleship.
     
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