Cody....how are the two of you relationally (other than sexually, I mean)? I'm just wondering if the two of you need to vent some emotions (maybe with a counselor present?) in order to heal. In reading through these posts again.....it just seems there may be a wall between the two of you (and that can affect how you subconsciously view her physically). Is your wife accepting of you having sex with her ONLY for her benefit?