What say you forum: Should I mend fences with my ex-friend?

[quietpraiyze]

Someone else suggested I write a letter too, I think that's a great idea since I'm more adept to communicating through the written word than through speaking. I can concisely express that I was hurt, but I forgive him and I'm moving on. But I'll sit on it and decide whether to send it to him or not.

It certainly felt as though he was without mercy. Had this been 18th century France I think he would've let the guillotine fall. Any of my other Christian friends who have been privy to these events have been full of grace and compassion, I don't know why he had to be such an outlier. I just come back to his own baggage and the negative influence of his mentor.

[FONT=Georgia, serif]I'm glad writing a letter was a helpful suggestion to you. I actually did the letter thing with an older sibling. I wrote and sent it. They wouldn't speak to me for something like 8 months LOL but I had anticipated all of that. At that point, it was the most honest “conversation” we ever had. I didn't know if they would speak to me again or not but I knew I had to say what needed to be said. It worked out for me. We're building a real relationship little by little now. I know on my part everything is on the table and that feels good. It was a risk worth taking. I would also suggest that you not say anything prior to the wedding. Be cordial and use the wedding as an opportunity to see where he's at. If he tries something, walk away knowing you've just gotten useful info on how to proceed forward.[/FONT]


[FONT=Georgia, serif]I hope you are able to resolve your situation in the way that you want.[/FONT]

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[Neve]

I'd leave it for now. You sound as if you're doing really well for yourself, with all of the potential in the world to move on to bigger and better things - so with that said, do you really have time for the distractions?

This isn't to say that you NEVER build bridges, but it doesn't have to be NOW. Life has a funny way of sorting these things out organically anyway, so it's best not to rush into anything, especially if it risks hurting the progress you're making currently.

This friend of yours also sounds as if he's suffering with some sort of God Complex. He needs to remember that his duty is to be a friend and not your master. Going to hell for getting a divorce? Ha! Another case of Adam and the fig leaves no doubt.

This. Life has a way of sorting itself out if you give it time.