The qualities I find appealing in strangers differs from what I require in personal connections. I'll share both.
Character is the first thing I notice. I observe the person's behavior and their interactions with others. I look for truth, give and take, and manners. I don't like rudeness, snark, or demands.
Self-awareness is next. Does the person have a balanced view of themselves and others? Are they willing to admit their mistakes? The absence of personal responsibility is a no go.
If a person displays these qualities I'm willing to interact. That's my general barometer.
For intimate connections, respect is a must. The ability to entertain differences in opinion is paramount. I won't agree with everything you say, do, or feel. If you require that we can't be friends. Decorum falls in this area. There are lines we're unwilling to cross. We don't allow disagreements to turn into wars. Argumentative and combative types will never be in my inner circle. I don't do drama.
A positive mindset is important. Everyone has challenges. But it can't be the focus of our conversations. I don't need a daily rundown of what's amiss. It's depressing.
Contentment is the tipping point. If you're not at peace with yourself and working towards the things you desire to accomplish, you'll have difficulty befriending me. I'm very goal-driven and I don't apologize for the blessings God's bestowed. If you're incapable of celebrating other's success we won't get along. That goes for strangers too. Castigating people who possess the things you lack is unloving. I can't listen to it.
Then there's love. My closest connections have the biggest hearts and they're very transparent. We bare ourselves with one another. If you can't unveil we'll never be close. Walls prohibit intimacy. I go deep and you've gotta join me.
Yours in His Service,
~bella