What keeps you...

[svl3p]

...from hurting yourself?

Just curious, for those who have been able to not hurt yourself for a time (or anyone, what keeps you from doing it more often), what is the motivation for it?

For me, it's mainly fear. Fear of what my husband will say or think (I know he wouldn't condemn me for it, but I know it would hurt him in the sense that his wife is hurting), and fear that someone would find out and lock me up in a 72 hour psych hold, and take away my kids.

I know my motivation should be that my body belongs to Christ...but truthfully...that's not what keeps me from hurting myself.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

And God knows dear. He knows your fears and hurts all too well. He knows what happened and He is always with you.

Dont plan what you wont do. Instead plan what you can and will. You will be a light to your children that shares Jesus. You will become the beacon lighthouse for your husband to come home to. Share Jesus love in your smile.

Think not on what bad can happen for it see's to itself but dwell instead on all the love and beauty around you this day. We love you in Jesus name and will love you and be here for you.

When you write things out it takes the sting and power away from the bad times. Use us to maintain.

I am here for you and truthfully would give my life for you and all the others here. I am so incredibly blessed beyond words or measure because I am His Sheepdog and have a rare honor to love on you all for Him.

 

[Everlasting33]

I haven't cut for eight years and the reason for it was my full acceptance that it was harmful and self-defeating.
It was at the moment of "hey, this is hurting me. Let's stop" that I had the courage to stop.

Why didn't I come to that conclusion all together? Who knows....I wish I had! But, the important thing is that I stopped and my motivation was for growth and change.

To this day, that moment still astonishes me and I am proud of it.

You will have that moment too. God will give you the strength.

 

[Criada]

Like you, it is mainly fear of the consequences which makes me stop... my husband isn't very understanding.
I didn't cut for 23 years, and the urge had really gone, I didn't even think about it until I was hit by PTSD last year, and the thoughts and desires came back.
There is a sticky at the top of this forum with a lot of good ideas about how to avoid self harming when you feel the need to... it may help with short-term avoidance strategies.

 

[mizzchez]

I guess the thing that mainly stops me from doing it is also fear, and hurting my family. I also look at pictures of all the people my age, in my college all going out and having fun with their friends. It's always in the back of my mind that no matter what outfit I choose, I have to make sure it includes tights and long sleeves.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

The first time was fear, I cut myself really badly. This time its because, even while I was doing it, it wasn't bad enough and I knew I'd have to keep hurting myself worse for it to help and I didn't know when it would end.
Also because I minister to teenagers and I know I can't be effective if I'm involved in self-harm.

 

[Winter]

Honestly?

Its vanity. I have so many scars as a result of hurting myself when I was a teen/young adult it frankly embarasses me. Its uncomfortable to be standing next to colleagues, friends and family with obvious scars all over my arms. I don't need anymore of them ...

My second reason is guilt. I remember how hard I worked to overcome it years and years ago. And though at times I would still like to, its now reached a point that it doesn't feel worth it. Kind of like a smoker who quits smoking and has the urge to smoke but knows in the end its not worth it.

That's not to say I wouldn't revert to doing it if some trauma entered my life. Trying to "cut the pain out of me" was a survival mechanism I once had that could potentially resurface when desperation surfaces. Just like a smoker or drinker.

The guilt is also associated with the pain and worry I caused my parents as a youngster. My folks were worried sick and didn't know what to do. I don't think that I could do something that once hurt them so much.

Self-harm is like trying to "remove" the pain from within. One method to remove the pain from the inside to the outside is to draw or paint. Take crayons, pencils, anything .... and "transfer" the pain from within to a visible canvass. When we self-harm, most of us need to see a visible mark ... like a wound - the wound represents the removal of our pain. Instead of a wound, use art as a representation of our released pain.

 

[explodingboy]

honestly.. the short answer is nothing any more.

I had stopped for over 2yrs.. never really had a good reason to stop, I just had allot going on helping friends with their problems that I just tended to ignore my own. Now though, they've all moved off and away, and I've gone back to doing what I know best.

 

[Mayflower1]

First off, I always felt more guilty when I cut, and I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I went into Teen Challenge for 13 months, I made a commitment to find a way to stop the cycle, and have a better way of coping with my emotions. To me, cutting equalled misery, and I found it to be no way to live. I got tired of the secrets and the tears involved with it.

Second, I knew it grieved God. God has done so much for me, and when I cut, I knew it made Him cry, because His love for us is so great...

Third, for my family and friends. My Mom lived in a nursing home, and in Austin, I was the only one who could come to see her at the time. When she saw me, I had cuts on my arms and legs. This made her cry, then I would cry too... She begged for me to get help. and my friends did too. And I love them so much... and knew while I was hurting myself, I was hurting them too.

Fourth, for my success. coupled with self-injury was depression and heartache. Even if self-injury didn't lead me to losing my job, friends, and "crazy" looks at my scars, I saw myself as a failure. I knew that if I didn't stop, I would not be able to accomplish my dreams, because it got in the way of that.

Fifth, for peace and happiness... isn't that reason enough? I am so much at peace now... I am so happy. When I cut, I was more in a pit of despair I couldn't seem to get out of.

Sixth, yes out of fear. But this is a good fear. It is a fear of God, humility before Him. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:2, ""He who has suffered in the flesh
has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God." When there is a trigger to cut, I know that is suffering... But The 1 Peter 4 says suffering in the flesh is so much better then sinning against God.

Seventh, because God has provided a way out of the temptation. It talks about it in James 2, that no temptation is here, except that which is common to men, and that God provides a way of escape so that we can endure it. If God promises a way of escape, I figured, I needed to search for that instead of continual cutting.

Eighth, because I worked way too hard to go back now. I sold everything I had, stuffed the little bit I could in my car, parked it at my friends' house, and went into Teen Challenge for 13 months. I relapsed and was transferred, then they asked me if I wanted to transfer to Houston since my family is here. I clawed my way to graduation. I clawed my way to be able to say, "Hey in 6 years, I have been free from self-injury COMPLETELY for almost 7 months (November 1st). It may not seem like a lot, but it is. What I went through here, has prepared me to be able to say, "NEVER AGAIN." My pastor taught us, "I'm mad at HELL and I'm not going to take it anymore!" We got to get this mad at Hell and say NO to self-injury.

Ninth, so I can help others. One of my biggest desires has been to tell others about Christ and the freedom and hope He can offer us. As a cutter, I felt like I couldn't, because I couldn't even help myself. I have turned my test into a testimony though. And my trials, into glory for God.

and Last, tenth, because simply, I didn't want to live like that anymore... Once I got to taste a little bit of freedom, true freedom, from forgiveness and life, I didn't want to go back. It only takes a little, before you become a Jesus Junkie. God has just been so good to me.

Shara

 

[Kaitmeister]

The only things keeping me from hurting myself now are that I've gone quite a while (a year and 4 months), and I don't want to mess that up, and I honestly have no idea how to hide it from my husband.

 

[the_box_of_giggles]

I'm around 2.5 years. And I don't know what keeps me going. It's a struggle.

I have amazing friends who would be super disappointed in me if I cut again. I don't want it- not really. I mean I want it- but I know I can't have it. It wouldn't end well, not for me, not for my friends, not for my family, not for anyone. I've gone too far to go back to cutting as my big coping method.

It's weird. The farther I get from it. The more I want it. But the farther I get from it- the more I realize I can't.

 

[ChristInAction]

at the moment, because i don't want to fight back up to 11 months again. i dont think i have strength to start again.

i am a kids leader and a half sister to a 6 year old and i can't stand the idea of them knowing, because i want to be a good roll model for them, i don't want them to see, or do it too.

because God doesn't want me hurting myself.

and I have a friend who is so amazingly exsited ive gone so long & is cheering me on to a year. i want to get to a year for her.

most of the time i enjoy not having to cover up. the physical pain & shame the next day. other times it would be so easy to fall back down.