What it takes to be real father and a man!!!!!

[Kaibeto]

My mom got married when I was young to my step father, for the first few years he seemed to be a cool guy. So when I turned ten I decided to play city league football at first my mom and step father where excited. What I didn't know that it that I know now that it would be the biggest mistake that I ever made. When I entered 7th grade and sighned up for football he turned into the biggest Jerk all the way to my senior year in high school. Through the years I have called this man my father when he verbaly abused, me and my mother by dragging my reputation through the mudd with my mothers. I when him and his friends where outside he called me out to show me infront of his friends like a prize thorough bread. Instead of praising me he told how sorry and weak I was and that I was soft. As I stood their I wanted to cry but I didn't so I went back inside the house, went into my room angry and fustrated. As I sat in my room he came in with this big smile like nothing happend and left. I'm now 19 years old and going to graduate high school, when I called my bilogical father in California and told him that I am going to graduate from high school. All hell broke loose when I got out of school my mom told me that my step father was in one of his moods again. She told me he had been talking smack about me (I can't get into much deatail) that I should stay away and do my chores ect. My mother have been married to this guy for fourteen years and shared the same fate like me, she help raise his ungratefull kids who got my mother in trouble. I never why she got married to this guy until now she wanted me to have a father figure in my life, she not a push over she can stand her own ground believe me she can. Over the years I tried to prove to him that I wasn't weak, soft, or sorry even when he did't come to none of my games. He does not deserve to be called my dad and I will not call him my dad or father, how can I keep forgiving a man who is selfish and a hypocrite. Who never shown me compasion, or ecourage or let me cry on his shoulder and huged me and told me everything will be ok. It takes a real man to be a father not a jerk, I don't hate him but pitty him.

 

[chilibowl]

Sounds like you grew up with my dads twin.. Well at least you know what not to do with your own kid. regaurdless of his short commings and mistakes know that your comming into manhood fast, and the desisions you make are yours and yours alone. If you become a community leader or a menace it's because of the desisions you made! be a man/father inspite of your experience! Don't become a man/father like he modeled for you.. Belive it or not. It sound like you've got a good starting point for an awsome life. all you have to do now is follow through!

GLGB

 

[forgivenmuch]

its a bad situation that you are/were in. you were treated very bad. life is not kind when there is abuse in it. im going to tell you something that may be hard for you,
but it was your moms fault. she was your protector. she should of never allowed this man to do those things to you. however you need to just lean on God. God can help you recover from the abuse. your mom may not of thought that what he was doing was so bad? did you ever talk to your mom about how he was hurting you? when your young you just dont want no one to see you hurt. and when someone is calling you names that your step dad did .. that even makes it harder to talk about. being feared of more name calling by him. your mom should of never let that start. she was your voice and it was not heard. im sorry for your pain. my 2 nieces could relate to you a great deal. they had a step dad and he was mean. my sister stayed with him and after a while they grew up and left home. they did not have much contact with her afterwards. they all got counsling ..and they have the best realtionships now.
you are young still ..and you have your whole life ahead of you . pray for your mom and your step dad ..that they find God. after my sister and her husband found christ .. they are the best grandparents you would ever see. there is always hope for your stepdad to change. he could be a great man in your life if he is willing to change and see his wrongs. no matter how bad life can be ... God can turn it around and restore everything that you lost. its hard at times .. but it can make you stronger and you know that you would never do your own children that way. it makes you see that you do not want to be like that. i think if you talk to them about what they did .. it could start some healing for you to be open with it. dont let this eat you up with anger because it could make you become someone you would not want to be. pray and seek God and maybe get some counsling to help you deal with it. i will be in prayer for you.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

The best advice I can give you is to perhaps get some counseling on it. You need to "purge" yourself of his bad influence or even check yourself in some ways. It's really hard to saay not being there. Sounds like you may have been somewhat mentally abused. People beating you down mentally can be worse than physical abuse. I would also get away from him for a long while if you can, but don't leave mom alone. Most importantly, make sure you never pass that negativity onto your loved ones. That's the best way to get back at him. Be BETTER!

 

[SpeakLife329]

We had to deal with that mess from our grandfather ...when you're a young person that stuff tends to hurt you but as you get older and grow in the Lord...the things that people say to you tend to fade in regards to how they make you feel...and become words that are very light and mean next to nothing if nothing ...know who you are in the Lord ..focus on Him and live your life according to how he wants...ingnore your stepfathers words..understand the root of his words, and denounce them.... and try not to throw fire on the flames pray for him with a sincere heart, and Love him.

Be encouraged
K

 

[Sketcher]

You need a real man's approval, not this loser's. He's not even your father. Find a good male mentor either in the field you are interested in, the church, or preferably both. You'll have opportunities for 1-on-1 discipleship with campus ministries once you go to college.