What is wrong with me? Why can't I just....

[lordworshipper]

Every night and every morning I bow and pray to God, "please help me!", and I try my best to do everything right. To the point that I've literally stayed in my house, not going anywhere to avoid temptation. Deep down inside, I know why I'm depressed and why I've been stressed out, but no one else, they just saw that I was down, only friends know.

What's been getting at me is that I desire affection, to be in a romantic relationship. To feel close to someone, to bond with someone. But I really can't, I tell myself this, and beg God to help me change. Make me stop feeling this way, or just take me. Don't make me suffer like this. I've tried to be in a relationship with a woman, but that is what made me want a man even more, and even more against the idea of being with a woman. I'm not attracted to women, and the whole time I was with her, it just seemed wrong, so we had to seperate and be friends. I shouldn't have done that, I know, but I was trying to find a healthier, godly relationship, and I failed.

It's gotten a whole lot worse after a bit ago when my brother saw that I was depressed. My brother is straight, and doesn't know I'm gay, so it wasn't his fault. He invited me to cheer me up to the lake, to go swimming with him, and 2 of his friends, one of which is openly gay. He and his friennd were mesing around about it. It was bad enough that I thought he was extremely attractive (ashamed to say, I was crushing), but to know he was gay brought my temptations through the roof. I didn't ask him out on a date, I was strong enough to fight that. Actually, I didn't even talk to him, out of fear of being tempted into asking him or chancing he likes me, I tried not to avoid him really. As I can tell by the way someone looks at me that they like me.

It's so stressful. I don't know what to do. I haven't found a church yet that has support systems in place. I pray and pray, but things just seem to get worse. What else is there? At least until I find a church support group?

 

[FaithPrevails]

My heart goes out to you that you're struggling with this so much. I don't have any answers or suggestions, although I wish I did. I do have the ability to pray, though, so know that I am praying for you.

 

[Jasoncwd]

Sucks dude, you're in my prayers.

 

[Criada]

I'm so sorry that you are suffering this way, it is a very hard road to walk, especially when you are young
I'm glad you ended the relationship with the girl, that really doesn't work!

I don't really have any great advice, but if you need someone to talk to, please PM me anytime.. I have been through what you are experiencing - can't say I found any good answers really, but I can listen and understand

Praying for you, brother.

 

[jgt50]

There is help. nothing is wrong with you, we all sin we all give in to temptations. Thats why christ came. for you and me. who knows you better than you know yourself. Go to the website exodus international. they have been helping people for 30 years who struggle with homosexuality. It is a good place to start. Stop being stressed. We are all born into a life of sin, it takes years to reverse that as we are on a journey to be like christ. it never stops him from loving us. Also go to joyce meyers page and watch some of her sermons . she is very straight forward and lets us know what we all face and deal with in getting closer to god. I will pray for you.

 

[writergirl4god]

Praying for you my friend!

Don't cut yourself off from people - as you've learned, staying inside all the time does nothing to make you feel better or lessen your temptation. Every man has a need to bond with and be close to other guys - there's nothing sinful about that, so please give yourself some grace in that regard. It sounds like you have some good guy friends (and a brother that you get along with), and I'd advise you to spend extra time with them right now while you're fighting depression.

I know this is not easy - you have my sympathy and deepest respect.

Love in Christ,
Jess

 

[Robin Shawn]

What helps me overcome is to think on why homosexuality is wrong, that it is unfruitful, that God meant for us to become fathers and mothers, that He has purpose in sexuality, that sex isn't just for "enjoyment", that there is great responsibility involved. I have struggled with homosexual feelings for a long time, and the more I seek God and meditate on why homosexuality is wrong, the more I find same-sex attraction repulsive, and I'm able to be attracted to the opposite sex. But, as is natual, some of the opposite sex aren't attractive to me, only certain ones. That special somebody. God can change a person's desire, but He requires cooperation, and, I have found, that it doesn't happen overnight, but is a process. If you resist temptation, the Devil will flee. If you seek God with your whole being, He will change your heart. I'm here to tell you there is hope. He is changing me.

Shawn

 

[RD1981]

I'm not sure if my advise is the best, but I can only share the little that I've been through.

I find most women somewhat attractive but I think I prefer a certain type of women to have a relationship with, and this has changed as I've grown older. I think it's personal preference that makes me narrow things down. So far after 28 years there has only been one women that I felt I wanted to be with for life, but she likes women, go figure.

I can't say that I'm fully attracted to men, but there was a time when I was younger when I was around a guy who had facial features like some girl I had a crush on in highschool, I mean they could have been twins or something, and that made me uncomfortable for a while, because that then got me thinking about the wrong things. Even with women, I think urges grow on you. Like the more you admire something the harder it is forget about it. I think some people who are gay or lesbian might have dwelled on their feelings for the same sex or disliked certain things in the opposite sex so long that they think it's natural, but not in your case, you recognize there's a problem and want help.

I think you have to first have a strong foundation of the truth and a relationship with Jesus. You first have to agree with everything God says, and in doing so you can use your knowledge of the truth to deny any imaginations or feelings for the same sex. It is a battle and could take a long time to overcome. I'm single and I battle my own thoughts and desires for the opposite sex, everyday. With the way sex has overtaken our society (through tv,movies,music, fashon) it's even harder to get away from. In general I think because these are the last days, Satan is doing everything he can make things difficult, so given in to desires wont make anything better.

I hope you can find the truth and can use that to fight the enemy because I really believe the truth from God can set you free.

 

[PilgrimToChrist]

Don't make me suffer like this. I've tried to be in a relationship with a woman, but that is what made me want a man even more, and even more against the idea of being with a woman. I'm not attracted to women, and the whole time I was with her, it just seemed wrong, so we had to seperate and be friends. I shouldn't have done that, I know, but I was trying to find a healthier, godly relationship, and I failed.

No one says you have to be with women, you just can't be with men. Just work on trying to focus your attentions on more productive things rather than on your attractions. There will always be cute boys, you just have to bite your lip and try to stay focused on the more important things. I still get excited when I see a lesbian couple in my store and I miss having a girlfriend. When a cute butch "boi" comes through my line my heart still races, but still I just try to keep my mouth shut. Life goes on.

There's a lot more to life than sexual attractions and romantic love, regardless of what the music and movies try to make it seem like.

 

[jade_ja]

<staff edit>. I understand that dealing with these feelings and emotions are very difficult, especially when you have no one to turn to who will support you. But you are not alone in this. God is with you and will be there for you even if no one else will. God will not condemn you for having these feelings.

<staff edit>. You can't change the feelings you have towards members of the same sex any more than I can change my feelings toward the opposite sex. You can certainly try and I've heard stories where people were supposedly successful at becoming straight, but that's the kind of thing I'd imagine would take several years of denying attraction to the same sex before you're able to convince yourself that those feelings are superficial.

<staff edit> God will love you no matter what. You by no means have to act on your feelings, especially if you feel guilty for doing so. Just remember to keep praying and hopefully you will find an answer.

 

[Patrickjames]

hey mate, i fought homosexuality all by myself for years, and it didn't get me anywhere, it's just been in the last couple of years since i've opened up to a few key people about what i'm dealing with, that i've started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, by bringing my sin into the light, revealing it to people that i trust not to abuse my confidence, and them helping me walk through this, it takes all the power out of temptation. my guilt is cleared of carrying around a dirty little secret, i'm able to form closer relationships with my friends, and they can pray with me and stand strong with me even when i feel like absolute crap. it's amazing the incredible people that God places in our lives to help us overcome the work of the devil.

Praying for you man! keep going! and hey, find a church, find a pastor that you can open up to. keep hopeing.

Patrick.

 

[outOftheLoop]

It's so stressful. I don't know what to do. I haven't found a church yet that has support systems in place. I pray and pray, but things just seem to get worse. What else is there? At least until I find a church support group?

I'm not gay and don't understand how anyone could be, but i do undestand having "odd" thoughts & desires...

a lot of those urges come straight from the devil but some are the result of psychological issues, repressed [this and that] and whatever

I have to admit that i have been attracted to women b4, but NOT sexually. I have met women i thought were attractive somehow, but usually it was something about their personality or the way they carried themselves or whatever... and it hasn't happened in a long time... seems to be something that happened only in my "youth" Even so, the thought of being sexual with a woman is a total turn-off and disgusting to me...

just being honest, not trying to... imply anything about you

anyway, we are all complex beings and just because i don't struggle with the same temptations you do doesn't mean i don't have struggles that mystify me sometimes..

When i feel that way... that i don't understand what i am going through (and i rarely do understand 100%) & don't know what to do about [whatever] i go to the Catholic Church & spend time in the Real Presence in silence, listening

that is where i am shown who i really am (more / less) and what my life is really about.. more or less... it is the ultimate "personal relationship with Jesus" There is nothing like it. (I say more/less because we imperfect humans will never understand things 100% in this life... but at least in the RP i understand things going on in my life much better than when not there)

 

[red8]

there is nothing wrong with you. The only thing you failed to do is see your self through Christ. See he has became sin and knows what you fill more than any of us in this forum. All i can say to you is that don't beat your self down that's what devil and your flesh wants. You are created to be loved by GOD not to be condemned. Take one step for him and leave the rest to him. You can not beat this by your self you need a hero that can take away all your burdens And that is JESUS. Just do one step, it might be to pray every day and night. Just try to figure out what GOD needs you to do. And leave the rest to hm cos that's what he said. Don't think about the sin or what you did just focus on JESUS every day and night. Don't forget all of us sin it's God's Grace that keeps us going. My brother God loves you more than my silly words can say. imagine he has given you the one thing that he has the one thing he doesn't have a spare. Just believe in GOD, HE has awaken the dead how can your problem be hard for him. He holds this universe in his hand. He is full of love and mercy don't hear anything that is without GOD. Ask and pray to take anything from your life that is not from him. Just hold on Bro. I am also waiting on GOD. He will come Let's just wait