We can discuss that, but the gospel is not about how we believe, but that we believe.
The gospel is also about the Grace of God, and that necessarily includes how we come to believe.
No, we cannot generate that kind of faith. We need to repent so God will generate that faith in us. I don't think our eternity hangs on our willpower, but on His mercy to forgive.
Yet, to say that repentance comes first (causally) necessarily implies the choice to repent (chosen according to one's will) is the hinge. And the Bible addresses this question. "Which were born, not of...the will of man, but of God"
I don't think it gives God honor to say our promises to follow Him as servants are ridiculous, if you mean that. We are children of God and if our promise is sincere, God looks at us with joy and honors that promise. We can take pride in making ourselves "great", but we can also take pride in making ourselves "worthless". Neither glorifies God. Not saying you do that, but I see it happen.
My point there, I think is self-evident, that our ability to be sincere, particularly about spiritual things, is too easily changed,
even as believers. How much more so, before we believe, while we are dead in our sins?
'Worthless' in one use is, in another it isn't. "Worthless" is, maybe usually, hyperbole, but if I use it to describe either the huge difference between finite and infinite, the description is close enough, but when it is altogether accurate, I think is when we ascribe value to our will and heart apart from God in us, or apart from God's use for us.
I'm a bit puzzled how we see these things so differently. Still we are of the same body, have the same Lord, and we have to be thankful for that. You have said many nice things about me, so it's my turn to say something. I have noticed you are a good thinker and I'm sure you are much further in your studies of philosophy than I am. To me these discussions feel a bit like, you "win" some, you "lose" some, and I think that is natural when it comes to these huge questions.
Btw, did you see the video I posted with Gavin (Calvinism isn't crazy)?
Doesn't ring a bell by the name, so probably not. I must have missed it, unless it was very long, and I decided not to spend my limited data. Can you link it again?