I do not understand why Christians are ordered to love their enemies and to not hate.
Without hate what is the point?
The only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the hope of one day crushing my enemies with absolute merciless brutality. Spiritual love seems to be a completely useless exercise intended to make the participant feel good. It has never overcame anything. It is apparently so weak that it exists only in the metaphysical nature of Christ's death. In reality it seems to be for 'martyrs' who die for brownie points in paradise. They also get eliminated alongside the rest of their families as evil multiplies and takes their space in the gene pool. Life is merciless so why do we show mercy?!
In the meantime, the world is filled to the brim with evil monsters who exist to snuff out the helpless. At one point they may have been human but now they are irredeemably evil. The enemy responds only to swift justice and overwhelming unrelenting force. They understand no other language.
It has to do, at least partially, with the fact that we are, as Christians, not of this world. I see that you are a "deist" and not a Christian, so perhaps it is not a part of your doctrine. Christians who give their lives and wills over to Jesus Christ are transformed in the process. It doesn't leave us without the temptation to hate, but we are given grace to resist that temptation. Our eschatology is not a man made solution which transforms this world. The new heavens and the new earth will be brought about by the action of Jesus Christ. Heaven is the perfection of the human soul. Part of this perfection is perfect love. The absence of hate. Hate is a result of fear. Perfect love drives away all fear. We love and pray for our enemies, because they are human beings, also made in the image and likeness of God.
All of us are deserving of death for our sins. We seek eternal life with God, and we seek God's forgiveness for our many many many failures at following His two perfect commandments. To love the Lord God with all our hearts, all our minds, and all our strength. And to love our neighbor as ourselves. We act towards our neighbor in the closest approximation we are able to muster by the grace of God, to our Lord Jesus Christ, who was the example of perfection in life, as we believe He was in fact God, and showing us the model of humanity intended by the creator. We forgive, pray for and love the undeserving and the unlovable, because we wish to be forgiven and loved by our Father in heaven.
I want to add on a personal note that the life you have described sounds wretched and dismally sad to me. In all sincerity, I am offering a prayer for you as I post this. That you may find other reasons to get out of bed in the morning, than to "crush your enemies". May God bless you with His peace. Charitable love (Agape), and forgiveness. May you look around one day, and find that you have no personal enemies. It can happen. It happened to me.
Oh my Jesus,
Forgive us our sins,
Save us from the fires of hell,
And lead all souls to Heaven.
Especially those in most need of they mercy.
Amen.