What is the percentage of good to bad men?

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

This may seem like a very odd question but I have not seen any good men in my life. My husband beat me, my brothers were friends with him moreso than me and my father was nowhere to be seen. To me the answer is 100% bad. At least for keeping me safe. What is your experience?

 

[Brother-Mike]

Sorry to hear that Citizen… a part of me wonders how much of this is just, well, luck and circumstance. E.g. my Grandfather who raised me was basically an old-school cowboy with chivalrous morals, my step-Dad and uncles are all solid, hard-working and non-violent guys, etc.

But I certainly know some people (primarily women) who have had nothing but terrible relationship after relationship. I’m not sure I can detect any obvious pattern, one way or another, save perhaps for one or two women who struggle with relationships but then are right back at the bar or nightclub when things go south. My suggestions to perhaps take up archery or hiking and maybe meet men there (or church of course) fall on deaf ears. Not to suggest that you’re in this position, of course.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Sorry to hear that Citizen… a part of me wonders how much of this is just, well, luck and circumstance. E.g. my Grandfather who raised me was basically an old-school cowboy with chivalrous morals, my step-Dad and uncles are all solid, hard-working and non-violent guys, etc.

But I certainly know some people (primarily women) who have had nothing but terrible relationship after relationship. I’m not sure I can detect any obvious pattern, one way or another, save perhaps for one or two women who struggle with relationships but then are right back at the bar or nightclub when things go south. My suggestions to perhaps take up archery or hiking and maybe meet men there (or church of course) fall on deaf ears. Not to suggest that you’re in this position, of course.

No I'm not in that position. I've chosen to be celibate and live on my own even for the sake of my children. I think it's bothering me still because my brothers probably never knew the resentment that I felt toward them for choosing to be friends with someone who would hurt their sister. That hurts the worst. But it's the resentment now that I know causes bitter roots. It was all a long time ago and my brothers have passes away, but it still brings tears to my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I know there are good men out there but I am interested in the op question according to other females.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Some people (primarily women) who have had nothing but terrible relationship after relationship. I’m not sure I can detect any obvious pattern, one way or another,.

Could this be due to the percentage of bad to good I wonder.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

No I'm not in that position. I've chosen to be celibate and live on my own even for the sake of my children..

I think many women have chosen this route, I know my daughter with her daughter have, altho the reason was adultery. She has risen to the top of a successful men's world, as have many women. That seems to balance at least some when lawyers are concerned.

 

[Brother-Mike]

Could this be due to the percentage of bad to good I wonder.

You may well be correct… and I’m not so sure the situation is going to get any better given [if I can speak freely] the overall assault against masculinity and pressures faced by young men, technological “improvements” like tinder, pornography, etc.

And to my knowledge data on female mate preference generally skews away from what society currently considers the target for young men, that is, soft, sensitive, non-aggressive men in touch with their feelings. We can, and are, producing young men like this but they’re quickly friend-zoned.

 

[Leaf473]

Here's a way to look at it,

Genesis 18 talking about Sodom and Gomorrah and looking for righteous people there...
Abraham said, “Oh don’t let the Lord be angry, and I will speak just once more. What if ten are found there?”

The Lord said, “I will not destroy it for the ten’s sake.”

The cities got destroyed.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

You may well be correct… and I’m not so sure the situation is going to get any better given [if I can speak freely] the overall assault against masculinity and pressures faced by young men, technological “improvements” like tinder, pornography, etc.

The assault coming out of the seminars against females a few years ago needed to be corrected (if I may speak freely) and that is what I have seen happen when sticking to the Christian format. Not that it will ever be balanced as the spiritual fights always against the flesh. But be that as it may.

And to my knowledge data on female mate preference generally skews away from what society currently considers the target for young men, that is, soft, sensitive, non-aggressive men in touch with their feelings. We can, and are, producing young men like this but they’re quickly friend-zoned.

My thought is that the type being described is what men are tending toward as more same sex marriages are being brought forward and God based tossed aside. What I see is TV depictions of violence in sex acts becoming something that children start very young to say no, they don't want that type of loving? relationship. I don't think you have that right at all. Perhaps they think they need a tough guy to protect them, but don't realize until too late who they need protection against.

 

[Brother-Mike]

The assault coming out of the seminars against females a few years ago needed to be corrected (if I may speak freely) and that is what I have seen happen when sticking to the Christian format. Not that it will ever be balanced as the spiritual fights always against the flesh. But be that as it may.

My thought is that the type being described is what men are tending toward as more same sex marriages are being brought forward and God based tossed aside. What I see is TV depictions of violence in sex acts becoming something that children start very young to say no, they don't want that type of loving? relationship. I don't think you have that right at all. Perhaps they think they need a tough guy to protect them, but don't realize until too late who they need protection against.

Agreed… sounds like thankfully you and I are old enough to luckily avoid the new breed of issues facing young people. God help those unfortunate enough to be just getting started and caught up in the current climate. If you’ve ever read or encountered what Tinder or Grindr have done to relationships and romance it’s a horrifying picture.

 

[Sketcher]

I don't know that anyone other than God has a hard number, but we do exist.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Agreed… sounds like thankfully you and I are old enough to luckily avoid the new breed of issues facing young people. God help those unfortunate enough to be just getting started and caught up in the current climate. If you’ve ever read or encountered what Tinder or Grindr have done to relationships and romance it’s a horrifying picture.

I wish I knew how to greater intercede for those who are mired so deep in these problems that are affecting our young. Father God You are the Father that is hidden from this picture. Please take it into Your hands and help Your people to see the evil that is clutching them, and bring Your Church safely Thru. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Agreed… sounds like thankfully you and I are old enough to luckily avoid the new breed of issues facing young people. God help those unfortunate enough to be just getting started and caught up in the current climate. If you’ve ever read or encountered what Tinder or Grindr have done to relationships and romance it’s a horrifying picture.

I don't know Tinder or Grindr but I can see for myself what they are going thru. My grandaughter, at 9 yrs old, has already chosen lesbian for her title. I had to tell her she was too young to think about sex but she could love whomever she wanted. I also pointed out that it was her choice but emphasis on choice as to who to love. She agreed both to being too young for that one choice and that it was a choice for the other.
So as for the types of choices made for like partners it does seem to reflect on what makes for safety issues. That is the problem that needs to be worked on. The danger is everywhere now.

 

[jacks]

As Paul says:
There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;
There is none who does good, no, not one.”
Romans 3:10-12

That said, I think we can find some "good" in most everyone (men and women). Though sometimes all we find is what we expect to find.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

As Paul says:
There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;
There is none who does good, no, not one.”
Romans 3:10-12

That said, I think we can find some "good" in most everyone (men and women). Though sometimes all we find is what we expect to find.

Some leading phycologists say everyone has a monster in them and it's controlling it that makes us good humans. That sounds biblical too.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

nmnd

 

[Brother-Mike]

So question .... does anyone think it's women that are presenting the problems that the children are facing or is that male based probaganda or is the responsibility equally shared? To tie it in with the thread I had as little help from the females in my life as I did with the men.

To me the correct answer is that this is a very complicated issue and much has been written and analyzed as to root causes. But if I was to give a quick summary I would say that ultimately it’s the responsibility of both parents, Mother and Father, to steer kids here towards a healthy, rounded understanding of their role and expectations in relationships.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

To me the correct answer is that this is a very complicated issue and much has been written and analyzed as to root causes. But if I was to give a quick summary I would say that ultimately it’s the responsibility of both parents, Mother and Father, to steer kids here towards a healthy, rounded understanding of their role and expectations in relationships.

Except the book of rules has been written in many parts. One for the unbeliever that says silence is the rule (if you look at the Greek language the NT is written in Peter) or from the Father's perspective that Paul writes in that has the church subject to Christ or Paul's further meaning of a mature church. What is the model to follow? Mine family followed a rather OT worldview that was law. I would rather a worldview of the spirit. But each family will be accountable. That I believe.

 

[Brother-Mike]

Except the book of rules has been written in many parts. One for the unbeliever that says silence is the rule (if you look at the Greek language the NT is written in Peter) or from the Father's perspective that Paul writes in that has the church subject to Christ or Paul's further meaning of a mature church. What is the model to follow? Mine family followed a rather OT worldview that was law. I would rather a worldview of the spirit. But each family will be accountable. That I believe.

Agreed. To me, the following would go a long way towards domestic stability and fostering a healthy environment for children:

1. Mother and Father, each with their complimenting skills and functions.
2. Mother and Father submitting to each other mutually (e.g. Paul’s writings) while still acknowledging the headship of the Father.
3. Children raised to respect their parents (OT, Proverbs 10:1).
4. Children raised to model the example of their parents love for all, duty to all.

I would think that if you’re looking for a husband or wife, finding one that is explicitly committed up front to these ideals would be key. Most of these ideals are in fact the inversion of today’s accepted norms, to the detriment of all.

 

[timothyu]

The odds seem to favour bad don't they. We are all good and bad at the same time. God doesn't distinguish between liitle bad and a whole lotta. So do you wish to ask where man draws the line at what is good and bad? Would the numbers change if we were to take into consideration what mankind actually thought even if they did not actually do a deed?

 

[lismore]

The same question can be asked about women I guess. I think more than ever in these Last Days is the need for biblical truth, God's word clearly shows us how to recognise narcissists and wolves in sheep's clothing and to avoid being unequally yoked. Also the need for all of us to no longer conform to the pattern of the world but be transformed as we renew our minds, as the scripture says (Romans 12:1-2). Kind Regards