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What is hard about submission?

Antje

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It feels kind of silly to me that anyone would bother discussing whether you love God or your husband or your children most. Those loves are indeed different, and are all extremely compatible. Forgive me, but this kind of nitpicking reminds me of the Pharisees who wanted everything in religion to be "just so", and picked ridiculous arguments with Jesus about it. I could imagine Jesus saying "For crying out loud, people, just love already!!!"
 
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ImaginaryVoyager

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The mere fact that the guy even knows what teal is, and that it's different from blue, shows that his wife has already got more sway over him than he realizes. ;)
And the fact that he associates the word 'teal' with a color for bathmats rather than a breed of duck (which is good hunting) is cause for serious concern.
 
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Athene

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I was a little bit confused by this double speak - freedom in submission, freedom in not having responsibility but now I think I understand where you are coming from. (general you, not directed to anyone in particular)

I'm probably going to make a hash job of explainng but here goes. You are coming from a POV where the man is the leader who bears responsibility for the household therefore a woman who does not submit to her husband is deliberately flouting that authority, she's rebelling against her husbands leadership - therefore there must be a lot of tension in the house. I would imagine that it would be very awful living under those condiditons - to 'know' that your husband is your leader and to be constantly at odds, seeking to undermine him because you want to be the leader. Under those circumstances I can see why it would be precieved as freedom to finally submit.

But that's not what an egalitarian marriage is all about - it's not a struggle for authority, when I look at my husband I see my life mate, my partner, I don't see a leader I need to topple- I just don't see him as a leader, it's not that I'm flouting authority - I simply don't recognise that he has any authority over me. I don't recognise that it is the mans place to have the 'final say' or to bear all the responsibility - in my eyes the decision making and the responsibility is something we share equally. We are yoked together, we are equal, we love, respect and value each other and because of that we put each others needs first.
 
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RealityCheck

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I'm probably going to make a hash job of explainng but here goes. You are coming from a POV where the man is the leader who bears responsibility for the household therefore a woman who does not submit to her husband is deliberately flouting that authority, she's rebelling against her husbands leadership - therefore there must be a lot of tension in the house. I would imagine that it would be very awful living under those condiditons - to 'know' that your husband is your leader and to be constantly at odds, seeking to undermine him because you want to be the leader. Under those circumstances I can see why it would be precieved as freedom to finally submit.


Which to me, sounds an awful lot like the "freedom" a slave feels by submitting to the slave-master, rather than rebelling.
 
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shaslove

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heres my opinion:

I am getting married in about 8 months, and this has been a topic of discussion with me and my bf...

The reason it may be hard, is because I have lived for 28 years and taken care of myself, I have had to rely on myself for decisions, to do things, ect. Now I am getting married, and I have to let someone else make the FINAL decision. Not to say I wont have a say in it, but someone else gets to make the final choice. This takes a large change in thinking.

Just my opinion.
 
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Mrs. Enigma

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Slaves do not love their masters, they fear them. Masters do not love or respect their slaves.

Love cannot exist between master and slave.
Jesus is my master, I am a slave for Christ. Our love is whole and complete......
 
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united4Peace

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Jesus is my master, I am a slave for Christ. Our love is whole and complete......
Jesus isnt my master...
Jesus is my Friend, someone who loves me
someone who cares about me,
someone who is there for me at all times
someone who knows what Im capable of and understands when Im in a bad mood or when Im hurting....
Yup Jesus is my friend, not master :)
 
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Athene

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So God created humankind to be His slaves, not His companions . . . ?

I also disagree with the slave analogy, slaves must do as their Masters require, I do not have to do what God would request of me, I can walk away at any time, slaves do not have that option.
 
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livin4christ9203

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How do you feel about the notion that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church, or the Biblical command that wives should obey their husbands?
but it says that she should submit... not obey.. andI think there's a difference. They aren't saying a woman should allow her husband to abuse her or treat her as a slave.. just that he needs to be the Christian leader of the home and she should submit to him. But then it also says, He should LOVE his wife as Jesus loved the church... which means he is to Cherish her and love her and treat her for example as fine china.... those two things work hand in hand. I have no problem submitting to my husband knowing that he is going to make Godly decisions. And in return, he shows me love as Jesus did to the church. He is not in CHARGE of me. I still have free will and can make my own decisions.. but we do sit down and discuss things.. he listens to my side.. and then he makes the ultimate decision. And 99.9% of the time, we come to an agreement or understanding.. and that is the choice he will make... He ALWAYS considers it, but every once in awhile, he might make still go 100% with his own decision, but then I trust that he knows what he is doing and what is best for us and our family.. and it is.
 
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livin4christ9203

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So God created humankind to be His slaves, not His companions . . . ?

I also disagree with the slave analogy, slaves must do as their Masters require, I do not have to do what God would request of me, I can walk away at any time, slaves do not have that option.
I agree.. being a Christian is my choice.. and God doesn't make us do anything.. so we are definitely not slaves, being that we have free will. My loving Christ, is completely a choice I have made no one made it for me.
 
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NovemberFool

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What is hard about submission?

Well, if you're married to a good man who puts your needs on par with his own, who is responsible, and is loving-- not much.

But I have seen senarios on this board where men have spent more or less every dime who came into his posession and didn't take care of his wife and children's needs to the point they were in serious jeopordy. The OP's solution? Be more submissive and sign over her paycheck to him.

THAT'S what's so tough about submission. The abuse of it. The men who think it's a license to treat their wives like a child and order them around. Selfish men who don't feel good unless they've arranged their marriage and their household to serve their needs, to their liking, and not much else matters. Men who think women were put on earth to serve them and their children. It's that attitude of his wife not being an individual, but a service.

Now before it seems I'm ragging on men, the question concerned submission. Men have been given a tall order to love their wives, perhaps even more than she can love him. We could ask what's difficult about that? And it's the same thing: sometimes women make it impossible for their husbands to love them.

This is JMO, but I think Christians can spend too much time worrying about whether their marriage is submissive and putting that label on it. I've actually seen contests among women to see who can be the most submissive, who can serve her husband and children the most, who can be the least selfish and never care about herself. I think that competativeness is the nature of women, but, come on. If your marriage is working and healthy, I think there's a pretty good chance it's what God had in mind. My husband and I probably have a submissive marriage (he makes the decisions, but would argue that I hold all the power) but I don't think about it. I do what's right.
 
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SabrinaFair

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For me it comes down to trust. I trust that my husband wants the best for me and our marriage, I trust that he respects me and my input, I trust that he would never hurt me in an act of selfishness and pride, and I trust that he is actively seeking and listening for God's leading.

His courtesy, consideration and respect toward me make it easy to respect him and trust him with my heart and life. :cool:
 
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Risen Tree

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I've been thinking about this recently and I don't understand why women have trouble with this.

As I see it, I am submissive to God by obeying the Bible. Beyond that I have to make some tough decisions which affect my family for better or worse. My wife has to let me know when I'm being stupid, other than those surprisingly regular occasions she pretty much has it good in the big decision making area. Why do so many women have trouble handing this role over to their husbands?

Is it a lack of trust in his judgement? Thinking you know better than him? Perhaps its a demand for equality if you think you are getting steamrolled by him?

If God said men should be submissive to their wives I think most men would be happy to be relieved of the responsibility. How come so many women have trouble resting in the trust of their husband's leadership?

Men and women please reply.
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