What is dating?

[Im_A]

in another thread, i noticed a few negative connotations with dating.

so i'm just curious, why?

what i don't understand is how can one view it bad? dating doesn't have to mean to sex, or anything destructive...it can be constructive.

so why is dating bad, or how does one define dating? is it merely subjective, or are people judgemental because they are failures in this specific area of life or because their joy is abundantly in their own situation that they judge everything different as bad?

 

[plum]

as far as I've head on CF, some of it is actually cultural. "Dating" as a word means something different in different countries.

I don't understand the negative view either, actually. But perhaps the way I date is different than the way many people perceive dating in their points of view.

 

[Holy Warrior]

Well, in my mind, you can go on a couple of 'dates' with someone without 'dating' them. More than a couple, things are looking more serious, so they probably would be 'dating'.

I kinda see it as a way to describe that people are in an exclusive relationship- if you're dating someone, you have to break up with them before seeing someone else; otherwise it's cheating.

 

[Airicon]

According to the Urban Dictionary

Dating is...

...Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.

...a form of prostitution in which sex is paid for in installments rather than all at once.

...A pointless waste of time... defined by massive usage of cologne and/or perfume, awkward sweaty hand-holding, and feelings of puppy love that usually dissolve in a few weeks (or less)

 

[alfrodull]

According to the Urban Dictionary

Dating is...

...Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.

...a form of prostitution in which sex is paid for in installments rather than all at once.

...A pointless waste of time... defined by massive usage of cologne and/or perfume, awkward sweaty hand-holding, and feelings of puppy love that usually dissolve in a few weeks (or less)

Ah, the wisdom of the masses.

 

[Airicon]

Ah, the wisdom of the masses.

lol, there is nothing more enlightening, nor entertaining

 

[sampa]

no thoughts at the moment, I just want to subscribe to this thread. I've been sorting out thoughts on this topic. Thanks, Sampa

 

[TriptychR]

Dating is that thing the guy who wrote that book told us to kiss goodbye so therefore it's bad. : |

Or that seems to be the mentality of a few people.

 

[sampa]

TriptychR, yes a few. People's interpretations are quite different, someone I know is into music and I guess he me some girl through myspace. This weekend I guess she'll jam with him. He told me "if she's hot it's a date, if not it's a jam".

These days many people seem ambigious. Any thoughts?

 

[innerlink]

in another thread, i noticed a few negative connotations with dating.

so i'm just curious, why?

what i don't understand is how can one view it bad? dating doesn't have to mean to sex, or anything destructive...it can be constructive.

so why is dating bad, or how does one define dating? is it merely subjective, or are people judgemental because they are failures in this specific area of life or because their joy is abundantly in their own situation that they judge everything different as bad?

Dating is horrible. To go on a "date" puts so much pressure on the interaction and on the girl.
A "date" is a type of implied contract where you have to act and perform.

 

[Gardener101]

in another thread, i noticed a few negative connotations with dating.

so i'm just curious, why?

what i don't understand is how can one view it bad? dating doesn't have to mean to sex, or anything destructive...it can be constructive.

so why is dating bad, or how does one define dating? is it merely subjective, or are people judgemental because they are failures in this specific area of life or because their joy is abundantly in their own situation that they judge everything different as bad?

Hmmmm...care to provide a link to the thread you referred to?



Thanks.

 

[ido]

TriptychR, yes a few. People's interpretations are quite different, someone I know is into music and I guess he me some girl through myspace. This weekend I guess she'll jam with him. He told me "if she's hot it's a date, if not it's a jam".

These days many people seem ambigious. Any thoughts?

It is my personal opinion that most guys have gotten a lot more passive about pursuing women, so half the time we don't know if they are romantically interested or just want to be friends. My neighbor and I have had quite a few talks about the fact that guys have been putting the pursuit of relationships more and more into the girls' laps. The problem with that is there are a lot of us girls left out there that still want to be pursued, not be the one doing the pursuing.

 

[innerlink]

It is my personal opinion that most guys have gotten a lot more passive about pursuing women, so half the time we don't know if they are romantically interested or just want to be friends. My neighbor and I have had quite a few talks about the fact that guys have been putting the pursuit of relationships more and more into the girls' laps. The problem with that is there are a lot of us girls left out there that still want to be pursued, not be the one doing the pursuing.

Mmmm... guess I'm an exception then.
Girls usually know within the first 30 seconds why I'm there. And I let her know I like her with "I like you because..." whenever I do like her

 

[Gardener101]

Mmmm... guess I'm an exception then.
Girls usually know within the first 30 seconds why I'm there. And I let her know I like her with "I like you because..." whenever I do like her

30 seconds? How do you do it? Attempt to shove a mirror under her skirt?








Sorry...I'm in a silly mood right now.

 

[innerlink]

30 seconds? How do you do it? Attempt to shove a mirror under her skirt?








Sorry...I'm in a silly mood right now.

By telling her
Usually they're wearing pants tho... there's something sexy about women in track pants (or other sporty soft pants)
And why a mirror? That's a pretty bad position.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

It is my personal opinion that most guys have gotten a lot more passive about pursuing women, so half the time we don't know if they are romantically interested or just want to be friends. My neighbor and I have had quite a few talks about the fact that guys have been putting the pursuit of relationships more and more into the girls' laps. The problem with that is there are a lot of us girls left out there that still want to be pursued, not be the one doing the pursuing.

I agree...unfortunately, I think women have brought this problem on ourselves. "We" have pounded it into mens heads that we want to be equal and that we can do everything they can do and that we don't need a man to complete us and that we are fine on our own (which by the way I believe all those things are true) that we've so confused guys that they don't know what they're supposed to do...are they supposed to pursue us or not? Are they supposed to wait for us to make the first move or not?

I think "we've" lost the balance of being feminine and letting men be the men that God has created them to be. Like I said, while I believe that women are very capable and don't necessarily "need" a man...I still want to be pursued by a man and feel like he is my provider and protector...

Just my .02

 

[ido]

I agree...unfortunately, I think women have brought this problem on ourselves. "We" have pounded it into mens heads that we want to be equal and that we can do everything they can do and that we don't need a man to complete us and that we are fine on our own (which by the way I believe all those things are true) that we've so confused guys that they don't know what they're supposed to do...are they supposed to pursue us or not? Are they supposed to wait for us to make the first move or not?

I think "we've" lost the balance of being feminine and letting men be the men that God has created them to be. Like I said, while I believe that women are very capable and don't necessarily "need" a man...I still want to be pursued by a man and feel like he is my provider and protector...

Just my .02

I agree with all that you said. What I find amusing, tho, is that I have had several guys insist - after we began talking - that I was the one that pursued them b/c I smiled or said hi first or whatever.

I think part of the problem, too, is that the definition of pursuit has gotten blurry in the lines of dating. JMHO

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I agree with all that you said. What I find amusing, tho, is that I have had several guys insist - after we began talking - that I was the one that pursued them b/c I smiled or said hi first or whatever.

I think part of the problem, too, is that the definition of pursuit has gotten blurry in the lines of dating. JMHO

Yep! All things dating have gotten blurred over the past decade...

 

[traingosorry]

Dating is a big pain in the arrrse, that's what it is.

Not sure who said it earlier but dating is full of expectations at least in my experience and it's a headache.

 

[sampa]

It is my personal opinion that most guys have gotten a lot more passive about pursuing women, so half the time we don't know if they are romantically interested or just want to be friends. My neighbor and I have had quite a few talks about the fact that guys have been putting the pursuit of relationships more and more into the girls' laps. The problem with that is there are a lot of us girls left out there that still want to be pursued, not be the one doing the pursuing.

flnativegrl, yes passive is the word. And yes, there are still a lot of girls that want to be pursued, I'm one of them. But at the same time there is a give and take in communication, the girl needs to know how to be receptive and communicate she's interested, without overwhelming the guy.

Quite a few guys have told me they were interested in the girl until she was texting and calling every 5 minutes. I think that's a hard thing to control when your really intersted, guy or girl.

I agree...unfortunately, I think women have brought this problem on ourselves. "We" have pounded it into mens heads that we want to be equal and that we can do everything they can do and that we don't need a man to complete us and that we are fine on our own (which by the way I believe all those things are true) that we've so confused guys that they don't know what they're supposed to do...are they supposed to pursue us or not? Are they supposed to wait for us to make the first move or not?

I think "we've" lost the balance of being feminine and letting men be the men that God has created them to be. Like I said, while I believe that women are very capable and don't necessarily "need" a man...I still want to be pursued by a man and feel like he is my provider and protector...

Just my .02

dluvs2trvl, yes, I kindof agree and was talking about this the other day with someone. I've tried to tone down my confidence over the years and adapt to more feminine qualities. At the same time not losing who I am as a person, which can be clutzy at times. Most men seem to appreciate that if your not trying to be someone else.

I'm not sure if it helps but I try to encourage some of the younger men I work with when they seem to do things that involve initiative or taking responsibility outside work and bettering themselves.

I agree with all that you said. What I find amusing, tho, is that I have had several guys insist - after we began talking - that I was the one that pursued them b/c I smiled or said hi first or whatever.

I think part of the problem, too, is that the definition of pursuit has gotten blurry in the lines of dating. JMHO

O yes, I couldn't agree more flnativegrl, I can think of numerous occasions when a smile or a simple conversation was misinterpretted. Pursuit has definitely gotten blurry. I'm still scratching my head over what someone told me about taking more risk in confessing my feelings towards a guy.