What is currently on your mind?

[Michie]

I mostly agree with Bloom. We may be able to change our empathy somewhat, but emotions are messy things and it can be hard to fight against the tide and most people will probably fall back into the pitfalls empathy can bring.

I do believe that some people are more able to better handle their empathy than others depending on their chemical wiring. My father for example is one I would label as extremely emotionally empathic. He is able to cast his empathy wide. Despite being very emotionally empathic he is a very loving person, even to his enemies and doesn't seem to exhibit many of the problems I witness from other very empathic people.

Some people are better at outgroup empathy compared to ingroup empathy than others.

Although from my experience most highly empathetic people I have met were trouble. I was no exception.

I think the key is healthy boundaries in all things. Emotionalism is very different from empathy. The problem comes where we look at ourselves as fixers. Empathy is something we all need but it can turn into emotionalism or virtue signaling. It can with some, become more about us and outward appearances than a realistic empathy for others. Maybe that’s what Paul Bloom may be saying just from the little I’ve read of him. ??? I plan on reading more.

 

[Paidiske]

Grocery stores have suddenly become scary places.

Is it pandemic stuff; panic buying, dealing with other people? Or something else?

Gradually plugging my way through the pile of work. I seem to be more under control than I had feared.

As for empathy, in my mind it's closely linked to questions of trust and safety. I have a book in my to-read pile called The Gospel people don't want to hear: preaching challenging messages which is, from the blurb, big on empathy as a key character trait for a preacher.

 

[MehGuy]

I think the key is healthy boundaries in all things. Emotionalism is very different from empathy.

The problem comes where we look at ourselves as fixers. Empathy is something we all need but it can turn into emotionalism or virtue signaling. It can with some, become more about us and outward appearances than a realistic empathy for others. Maybe that’s what Paul Bloom may be saying just from the little I’ve read of him. ??? I plan on reading more.

He talks about virtue signaling being a problem with empathy. Although his major point is that empathy is riddled with evolutionary baggage. Such as being prone to biases and narrow thinking. For example people tend to naturally be more empathetic towards those who are beautiful and cute compared to those who are ugly and homely. Or those who look and act more like us. That empathy evolved to be biased towards those who are more genetically valuable; universally or relative to the person experiencing the empathy.

That we should practice a more cold method of being rational when it comes to being good, and being aware of the biases our emotions (empathy) drift us towards.

 

[Michie]

He talks about virtue signaling being a problem with empathy. Although his major point is that empathy is riddled with evolutionary baggage. Such as being prone to biases and narrow thinking. For example people tend to naturally be more empathetic towards those who are beautiful and cute compared to those who are ugly and homely. Or those who look and act more like us. That empathy evolved to be biased towards those who are more genetically valuable; universally or relative to the person experiencing the empathy.

That we should practice a more cold method of being rational when it comes to being good, and being aware of the biases our emotions (empathy) drift us towards.

Well just so you know there are many empathetic people that are driven more by seeing another in pain than their status and looks. But unlike the stories that are given publicity, they are rarely heard or seen. I hope Paul Bloom takes that into account as well. If people are only being empathetic towards others, based on looks, status or just trying to create a brand for themselves, that not true empathy. It’s ulterior motive. I’m sure he has. I mean, the guy is a Yale professor. I just need to research him more. I have never heard of him until you mentioned him.

 

[MehGuy]

Well just so you know there are many empathetic people that are driven more by seeing another in pain than their status and looks. But unlike the stories that are given publicity, they are rarely heard or seen. I hope Paul Bloom takes that into account as well. If people are only being empathetic towards others, based on looks, status or just trying to create a brand for themselves, that not true empathy. It’s ulterior motive. I’m sure he has. I mean, the guy is a Yale professor. I just need to research him more. I have never heard of him until you mentioned him.

He is not saying that people are only empathetic towards those who are genetically more valuable.. just that there is a prevailing bias to be more empathic towards such people.

Might be a clash of worldviews.. I'm pretty sure he comes from a more atheistic/evolutionary mindset.

 

[Michie]

He is not saying that people are only empathetic towards those who are genetically more valuable.. just that there is a prevailing bias to be more empathic towards such people.

Might be a clash of worldviews.. I'm pretty sure he comes from a more atheistic/evolutionary mindset.

I agree. I’m sure he does. I’m just trying to understand the mindset from my POV. I think what makes us human is our ability to change and develop throughout our lives. I understand he is looking at it from his POV but we humans tend to learn and adjust despite our weaknesses for the most part imo. Animals do as well. Maybe not to the extremes we do but we all tend to adapt and evolve our personalities and habits of we desire it or according to our surroundings.

 

[Michie]

Seems like this a a nature or nurture question?

 

[MehGuy]

I agree. I’m sure he does. I’m just trying to understand the mindset from my POV. I think what makes us human is our ability to change and develop throughout our lives. I understand he is looking at it from his POV but we humans tend to learn and adjust despite our weaknesses for the most part imo. Animals do as well. We tend to adapt and evolve our personalities and habits.

I will say that studies need to be made to more confidently say either way. Just or me personally, I lean more to the biological/hardwiring side and from my own personal experience, it's quite easy for me to be more empathic and caring towards a beautiful woman than a homely one. The latter I need to engage in more rational thinking.

Although as I said earlier, not all brain chemistry is the same. Still.. I don't see myself (at least in this aspect) much different compared to the average man.

 

[MehGuy]

My childhood was one that experienced hyper empathy. It produced crippling guilt and concern for others.. but also produced a great yearn for vengeance and hate. For while one can use empathy to fuel a more vivid compassion.. empathy can also fuel a more vivid mindset of hate and revenge. Just as one can use empathy to feel those who are hurt.. one can just as easily use empathy to feel the hurt they caused you.

 

[Michie]

I will say that studies need to be made to more confidently say either way. Just or me personally, I lean more to the biological/hardwiring side and from my own personal experience, it's quite easy for me to be more empathic and caring towards a beautiful woman than a homely one. The latter I need to engage in more rational thinking.

Although as I said earlier, not all brain chemistry is the same. Still.. I don't see myself (at least in this aspect) much different compared to the average man.

I love your honesty. But I’ve said this before, I think you have more empathy in you than you realize. Of course your make up and experiences come into play in these situations but just your interest in this topic shows that you really do care on some level. Not only for yourself but others as well. You just want to know why and the ends and out of it all.

 

[Michie]

My childhood was one that experienced hyper empathy. It produced crippling guilt and concern for others.. but also produced a great yearn for vengeance and hate. For while one can use empathy to fuel a more vivid compassion.. empathy can also fuel a more vivid mindset of hate and revenge. Just as one can use empathy to feel those who are hurt.. one can just as easily use empathy to feel the hurt they caused you.

That is the fixer. I have felt that way more times than I care to admit.

 

[MehGuy]

I love your honesty. But I’ve said this before, I think you have more empathy in you than you realize. Of course your make up and experiences come into play in these situations but just your interest in this topic shows that you really do care on some level. Not only for yourself but others as well. You just want to know why and the ends and out of it all.

Yeah. I still have emotional empathy even though it's much more weak than when I was younger.

Morally I feel like I have never been better. Being a psychopath (no empathy) isn't good, but I do think it's best for most people to have a slightly lower than average level of empathy. You don't need much empathy to yearn to be kind towards others. Anything higher just causes emotional dysfunction IMO.

 

[MehGuy]

I did make a post earlier about missing being more empathic, but that was more for spiritual/romantic reasons, not moral ones. Sadly given my past.. my mind is pretty turned off by empathy.. despite wanting to feel more vivid emotions again. My psychology is full of conflictions at the moment.

 

[Michie]

They moved the age limit way back from what it originally was in my state and after I called the health department, I found out I was getting Moderna. Yay! April 3 is my first vaccination. I’m still nervous about it though.

 

[Paidiske]

Today's good news is that restrictions on singing will be lifted in my state after this weekend; so we will be allowed to sing in church for Easter.

 

[Michie]

Today's good news is that restrictions on singing will be lifted in my state after this weekend; so we will be allowed to sing in church for Easter.

Wonderful!

 

[Robban]

Today's good news is that restrictions on singing will be lifted in my state after this weekend; so we will be allowed to sing in church for Easter.

Yep, we gonna shake them there rafters,haha.

 

[Michie]

Well we are expecting a bad storm starting at 11pm with up to 60 mile an hour winds with rain that is supposed to last till 9am. Hoping and praying there are no power outages. Being out here in the woods, I’m sure big limbs and trees will come down.

 

[Robban]

Well we are expecting a bad storm starting at 11pm with up to 60 mile an hour winds with rain that is supposed to last till 9am. Hoping and praying there are no power outages. Being out here in the woods, I’m sure big limbs and trees will come down.

Have you no backup generator?

 

[Michie]

Have you no backup generator?

No we never invested in one. We should but our property is so large, it might help but with very few things.