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MehGuy

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Well sounds like you were traumatized. My godmother is afraid of birds to the point she will not even eat poultry of any type. It’s a condition but I do not remember what it’s called. Don’t go into the pets and animals section. Tons of bird videos there. Lol

Sad to hear about your godmother. I'm not that extreme.. I still love KFC.

And some birds can be cute.. at a distance. Lol.
 
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Michie

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Sad to hear about your godmother. I'm not that extreme.. I still love KFC.

And some birds can be cute.. at a distance. Lol.
Well I have raised orphaned wild birds. It’s not as bad as you feel. They are very affectionate and intelligent creatures. :)
 
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MehGuy

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I should make more of an effort into engaging in emotional empathy again.. without it.. I feel dead.. but so much past trauma and social ingraining makes this a challenge.
 
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Michie

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I should make more of an effort into engaging in emotional empathy again.. without it.. I feel dead.. but so much past trauma and social ingraining makes this a challenge.
Maybe it’s your way of protecting yourself. Often people that have been hurt or traumatized tend to disengage and develop a hard shell to prevent further hurt. Empathy is an important part of life. It would be impossible to engage and relate to others without it. And to allow yourself to feel nothing sounds awfully miserable.
 
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MehGuy

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Maybe it’s your way of protecting yourself. Often people that have been hurt or traumatized tend to disengage and develop a hard shell to prevent further hurt. Empathy is an important part of life. It would be impossible to engage and relate to others without it. And to allow yourself to feel nothing sounds awfully miserable.

I have been deeply hurt and traumatized.. but not for the reasons people probably think. I am a man who has deeply studied his own psychology and I know full well that my past emotional empathy made me a rotten person. To better understand what I am talking about, you can look up Paul Bloom and his talks about how empathy is not always a force for good. My past emotional empathy have often just resulted in me being able to harbor intense anger and as a consequence have frequent emotional outbursts.

I do believe it's genetic.. a mutation or a few that I have inherited form my mother's side. That side of the family being plagued with emotional problems and members of the family who were and are quite sadistic and incredibly cruel to one another. A level of cruelty that I have thankfully never reached.. but my only saving grace is that I grew up in a very stable and loving home. I would have not fared well with adversity in my childhood. Still.. that surge of anger and ability to harbor intense anger is inside of me too and part of my chemical makeup.

Since being less emotionally empathetic.. I have ironically become less narcissistic and prone to anger and able to be a nicer person. Cognitive empathy is more than enough to do the job. The only problem being without emotional empathy everything feels dead inside. Personally I suspect that majority of human emotions have to do with us embracing each other and do not come from a solo internal source. We are a highly intelligent species that evolved in tandem with being highly a social species.

My mind doesn't process emotional empathy like a normal person's does.
 
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Michie

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I have been deeply hurt and traumatized.. but not for the reasons people probably think. I am a man who has deeply studied his own psychology and I know full well that my past emotional empathy made me a rotten person. To better understand what I am talking about, you can look up Paul Bloom and his talks about how empathy is not always a force for good. My past emotional empathy have often just resulted in me being able to harbor intense anger and as a consequence have frequent emotional outbursts.

I do believe it's genetic.. a mutation or a few that I have inherited form my mother's side. That side of the family being plagued with emotional problems and members of the family who were and are quite sadistic and incredibly cruel to one another. A level of cruelty that I have thankfully never reached.. but my only saving grace is that I grew up in a very stable and loving home. I would have not fared well with adversity in my childhood. Still.. that surge of anger and ability to harbor intense anger is inside of me too and part of my chemical makeup.

Since being less emotionally empathetic.. I have ironically become less narcissistic and prone to anger and able to be a nicer person. Cognitive empathy is more than enough to do the job. The only problem being without emotional empathy everything feels dead inside. Personally I suspect that majority of human emotions have to do with us embracing each other and do not come from a solo internal source. We are a highly intelligent species that evolved in tandem with being highly a social species.

My mind doesn't process emotional empathy like a normal person's does.
I’ll have to look Paul Bloom up. Sounds like you have delved deeply into the in’s and outs of your make up and family. I can say though, from my perspective I find you a very likable person here on the board. Maybe you are on a different plane than the majority of people you know and observed but I find you to be a very sincere person and very honest when expressing your thoughts and interests. I think you have more good qualities than you realize. But if you are feeling dead inside it’s easy to overlook those things because of the way you feel. It seems to me than going to psychiatrist, (not a therapist) would do you some good. Not just for the discussions of working things out in your own mind but if the psychiatrist suspects something unusual about your make up he/she can test for a physical cause as well. I do hope you start to feel more alive and engaged within yourself which can bring you some peace. :)
 
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MehGuy

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I’ll have to look Paul Bloom up. Sounds like you have delved deeply into the in’s and outs of your make up and family. I can say though, from my perspective I find you a very likable person here on the board. Maybe you are on a different plane than the majority of people you know and observed but I find you to be a very sincere person and very honest when expressing your thoughts and interests. I think you have more good qualities than you realize. But if you are feeling dead inside it’s easy to overlook those things because of the way you feel. It seems to me than going to psychiatrist, (not a therapist) would do you some good. Not just for the discussions of working things out in your own mind but if the psychiatrist suspects something unusual about your make up he/she can test for a physical cause as well. I do hope you start to feel more alive and engaged within yourself which can bring you some peace. :)

Here is a short clip of Paul Bloom talking about empathy and it's pitfalls.

A message that is especially relevant today. Considering how much society has recently been freaking out about any little hint of racism and sexism.

The title below my username "A member of the less neotenous sex" references what Paul Bloom is talking about. Neoteny being one who retains more childlike physical features into adulthood. With men being less neotenous on average compared to women and all the consequences of society being less empathic when a man is in pain compared to a woman in pain.

Empathy when controlled with logic and reason can be a good thing.. but this notion that the more empathic you are the better person you are is nonsense. Empathy is loaded with evolutionary baggage.

 
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Robban

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Here is a short clip of Paul Bloom talking about empathy and it's pitfalls.

A message that is especially relevant today. Considering how much society has recently been freaking out about any little hint of racism and sexism.

The title below my username "A member of the less neotenous sex" references what Paul Bloom is talking about. Neoteny being one who retains more childlike physical features into adulthood. With men being less neotenous on average compared to women and all the consequences of society being less empathic when a man is in pain compared to a woman in pain.

Empathy when controlled with logic and reason can be a good thing.. but this notion that the more empathic you are the better person you are is nonsense. Empathy is loaded with evolutionary baggage.


Feeling for another even a stranger comes naturally for some.

Feeling anothers pain cannot be learnt. (text book style)

Example.

A young girl wrote to the Rebbe saying she just wanted to give up, she was going through a very painful period.

The Rebbe replied, "I feel your pain".

She wrote back saying,
"How can you feel my pain?"

The Rebbe answered;

"When a child is teething it's mother feels the pain too.
so is it that I can feel your pain."
And he appointed someone to handle correpondence that would come thereof.

He would give it his personal attention as he always did.

The above book, I would not waste time on.

You yourself must decide.
 
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public hermit

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Cognitive empathy is more than enough to do the job

Cognitive empathy is a lot more than some folks have. Some people just don't care, on any level. For what it's worth, your expressions of empathy cone across clearly on these boards. I don't know what you mean by lacking emotion, but I think emotion is highly over-valued. Many in mystical traditions would agree. What if you exist on the very plane that contemplatives strive for? Your enlightened, dude. :)
 
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timothyu

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Old people often lose that caring attitude with age. Lost another friend/relative? Bummer but that the way it goes. Next? It's not that we don't care but are being realistic. Perhaps that is where the phrase old soul comes from in referring to some of the young.
 
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Michie

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Old people often lose that caring attitude with age. Lost another friend/relative? Bummer but that the way it goes. Next? It's not that we don't care but are being realistic. Perhaps that is where the phrase old soul comes from in referring to some of the young.
I have worked and volunteered with the elderly. That has not been my experience at all. It’s been pretty much the opposite.
 
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Michie

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I guess it depends on how fearful they are of the end.
Most are not fearful but they grieve for those they lost. Sometimes to the point of dying soon after. It gets where they do not want to be here any longer. They want to go.
 
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Robban

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I guess it depends on how fearful they are of the end.

yeah, that will have to take care of itself.

Daniel 12:2

It is now, today, this day today we can make a difference.
 
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