What if u fall in love with a non-christian

[ChrissyLovesJesus]

It says in the Bible u are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. But what if u do end up falling in love with one? What are u supposed to do about it? Wait it out and see if they change or just let it go or what...

 

[peaceblossom]

After being involved with non-christians or even people who called themselves christians but weren't walking with God actively, things become very complicated. You want to live for God, they want to live in the now. When I fell in love with a non-christian, I compromised so much and even became pregnant out of what I felt was love. I now know that what I felt was real for me, but God wants so much more for me. A divided house cannot stand and it's very true. Falling in love with a non believer brings so much trouble. Nevermind if they're a nice person, if they're not walking with God, chaos will be in the midst. Granted, no relationship is perfect, but to be involved with a God fearing man or woman is what God wants for us. To anyone who reads this, work hard not to compromise your relationship with God for someone who's not willing to open their heart to him, it's a temporary joy that ends in heartahce and emptyness.

 

[BarbB]

It says in the Bible u are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. But what if u do end up falling in love with one? What are u supposed to do about it? Wait it out and see if they change or just let it go or what...

Chrissy, this is one reason why it's best not to put yourself in the position of being close enough to non-Christian men to fall in love with one. It hurts!

If you are already in love with a non-Christian, witness to them, and WAIT!

God bless you!

 

[DJ_Ghost]

Well I am fortunate I guess, I'm not in that position, my wife is a Christian as well. (Although she is a Catholic and I am united reform).

However before I met her my previous Girlfriend was a Pagan and it never caused us any problems.

Ghost

 

[ChrissyLovesJesus]

He's a muslim, so he believes in God... I know it causes trouble, but its kinda late now, lol

 

[BarbB]

Chrissy, Please post this question in Questions about Christianity. There are very wise people there ready to answer your questions.

 

[armyman_83]

Well you have the answer "be ye not uneqully unyoked" so there you go. I have seen what happens to people who get involved with non-Christians bad stuff.

 

[TrueQ]

Just out of personal experience, a lot of people get really, really ****ed when Christians, especially ones they are close to try and convert them, so I wouldn't recommend trying that. Besides, if he's a Muslim and you try that, he might turn right around and try and turn you to Islam.

 

[Achichem]

I wonder have you talked to him about it?If so what did he say? This is a very serious matter, and is completely depend on both your feelings and conceptions!

 

[armed2010]

Chrissy, this is one reason why it's best not to put yourself in the position of being close enough to non-Christian men to fall in love with one. It hurts!

If you are already in love with a non-Christian, witness to them, and WAIT!

God bless you!

What is wrong with loving non-christians?

 

[sijo]

What is wrong with loving non-christians?

My dear, there is nothing wrong with loving non-Christians. But, definitely, there are more chances in the future for both of them to compromise their faiths.

So far as a Christian is concerned, personal prayer to keep continuous contact with God is a MUST. That is what the meaning of prophecy of Isaiah about the coming of "IMMANNUEL" (God is with us). "If God is with us", we possess an uncompromising duty to God, "to be with God". Only a faithful Christian spouse would encourage his / her partner "to be with God". A non-Christian spouse may allow / encourage you to attend the Church service on Sundays. But that is not enough for a good Christian.

Further, a mixed marriage would be fatal for the childrens. This is not exclusive, but a general trend.

sijo

 

[ChrissyLovesJesus]

I wonder have you talked to him about it?If so what did he say? This is a very serious matter, and is completely depend on both your feelings and conceptions!

Yes we have talked some about the issue. We respect eachothers religions and have researched into them.

 

[ChrissyLovesJesus]

Myself, I would never want a conservative Christian girl. I don't want a wife that loves her big Ghost Daddy more than her own husband. Besides, they're just too bloody tame and lame for me. That just ain't got no spunk.

Um... okay, lol. I myself am a conservative Christian girl

 

[PurelyIslam]

It says in the Bible u are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. But what if u do end up falling in love with one? What are u supposed to do about it? Wait it out and see if they change or just let it go or what...

Hi Chrissy...I dont know if you expect the say of a Muslim or only christians. ..
but id just like to add that it must be a comfort that you fell in love with a nonchristian who is a Muslim...why? cuz the similarity between chrsitainity and islam is so great...u both share the belief in the One God and you both respect and lovesjesus peace be upon him .....& you ought not to worry about him forcing islam on you if you decide to get married....There is no compulsion in religion & i dont see why you would want to force christainty on him...if each of you decides to remain on his faith. be it..& i pray that God chooses what's best 4 both of u..

Purely..

 

[Crispie]

Read 1 Corinthians Chapter 7, that MIGHT help you with your question.

 

[ReUsAbLePhEoNiX]

It says in the Bible u are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. But what if u do end up falling in love with one? What are u supposed to do about it? Wait it out and see if they change or just let it go or what...

hello Chrissy, your relationship will not work if your expecting the other to change...

I am not a christian and my wife certianly is.
Now granted my wife is in no way fundamentalist or obbsessed over theological details, but she beleives the bible as God's Word and she beleives Jesus died for her sins on the cross, and she desires a personal relationship with God..
She isnt much for deep theology, and her simple faith makes her happy and feel close to God, And she feels no awkwardness at all in sharing with me or others her beleifs. As she does many times with other non christian friends....and she is such a likable non judgmental and loving person every body including myself feel comfortable with her being vocal and talking about her faith even though they them selves are non beleivers.

In other words I dont think you would be happy in a "unequally yoked" relationship unless you are the type of person who is not judgemental or condeming of others, or the type of christian that demonizes non beleivers

We are both happily married, and both are comfortable in our opposing positions. And hardly ever get in any angry arguments about anything other than money and housework, and the funny thing is we are both very opinionated.

i like our situation, and wouldnt have it any other way. I dont think either of us have the desire to try and change the other person. what matters to me is what I beleive, and my wifes beleifs are her own responsibility and choices...and i am happy that she is happy in her faith and finds fulfillment and purpose.


" UNCONDITIONAL love conquers all"

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Hi Chrissy...I dont know if you expect the say of a Muslim or only christians. ..
but id just like to add that it must be a comfort that you fell in love with a nonchristian who is a Muslim...why? cuz the similarity between chrsitainity and islam is so great...u both share the belief in the One God and you both respect and lovesjesus peace be upon him .....& you ought not to worry about him forcing islam on you if you decide to get married....There is no compulsion in religion & i dont see why you would want to force christainty on him...if each of you decides to remain on his faith. be it..& i pray that God chooses what's best 4 both of u..

Purely..

Hi Purely,

I just wanted to add to what you wrote as it could be taken as being totally ok for a Muslim to marry a Christian.

You and I both know that it is better for a Muslim to marry a Muslimah based off the fact that it is the responsibility of the mother to teach the child about the household's faith. As conservative Christians we have an obligation as mothers to ensure that children are raised in accordance with our faith. So, given that the husband - who is a strict Muslim and the wife - who is a strict Christian, both believe that their faith is the ONLY way, one can truly see the significance of the verses "be ye not unevenly yoked with unbelievers". It is destructive to the home and is better to be avoided. I hasten to add that the context of 'unbeliever' is basically one who also does not believe that Messiah Jesus was crucified and resurrected for our sins as well as those who do not believe in G-d.

Although there is no compulsion in Islam we as Christian wives do have an obligation to submit to our unbelieving husband. So if he forbids us from taking the kids to church in line with his faith, then we - for the peace of the household - would have to comply. If he forbids us from praying, we have to comply. But it is at our and the children's expense. This is why we do not recommend such unions and it is better for a Christian wife to end up with a Christian male who fully understands his responsibilities to his wife and home (similar to a Muslim-to-Muslimah relationship).

Finally I attach a quote from one of the scholastic replies (from a Muslim site) in respect of such relationships. In it there is no scope of respect for the Christian woman. She is described as unclean and marriage to her abhorrent. There is another hadeeth which recommends that the Jewish or Christian wife is controlled so that the children are not influenced by her faith. This hadeeth is paper based and unfortunately I no longer have access to it to advise you of the exact quote.

Praise be to Allaah.


Allaah has permitted us to marry Jewish and Christian woman, on condition that they are chaste and avoid zina (unlawful sexual relations), and that the wali (guardian) of that Christian woman is a Muslim.

What is meant by chaste is refraining from zina (unlawful sexual relationships).

Ibn Katheer said:

This is the view of the majority, which the most correct opinion, so as to avoid the combination of her being a non-Muslim with her being unchaste, which would mean that she is totally corrupt and thus her husband will get, as the Arabic proverb says, “Bad goods and cheated on the weight.” The apparent meaning of the aayah is that what is meant is those who are chaste and refrain from zina.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/55

The condition of the woman’s wali being a Muslim is indicated by the verse (interpretation of the meaning):

“And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers”

[al-Nisa’ 4:141]

However, we do not advise you to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor do we advise you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

But marriage to women of the People of the Book leads to a great deal of mischief and trouble, such as:

1. He may have to be courteous to this wife of his at the expense of his religion, especially if she is “very committed” to her own religion. This may mean that she will hang up crosses and go to the church, and the children will not be safe in this environment.

2. She is not going to wash properly after finishing her period, or tell him not to have intercourse with her when she is menstruating; she is going to make him do something that is wrong according to sharee’ah and cause him physical harm.

3. He is going to be put in an embarrassing situation because of her careless attitude concerning dress and her mixing with men and speaking to them.

4. The states and governments of these women of the Book will be on their side and will give them custody of the children if differences arise and divorce takes place. This will cause these children to be lost and to fall into kufr. Such cases are too well known to need mentioning here and too many to count.

One of the poets said:

“Marriage to a Christian is an abhorrent action which leads to the kufr of the children for sure.

Whoever accepts for a child of his to be a kaafir is himself a kaafir, even if he claims to be a Muslim.

A man may become a kaafir, following his wife, and enter the Fire of Hell forever.

You must look for one who is religiously committed, if you want a sound marriage.

Forget about the people of kufr and beware of marrying them, for that will lead to a lot of evil.

The children of such a marriage will not be guided; they will swell the ranks of evildoers.

We advise you – once again – to leave this woman and to pray to Allaah to guide your heart to that which is in the best interests of your religion. So long as you give her up for the sake of Allaah, then you should be certain that Allaah will replace her for you with someone better, for whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.

And Allaah knows best.​

​

G-d bless​

 

[new_manII]

hello PI

id just like to add that it must be a comfort that you fell in love with a nonchristian who is a Muslim...why? cuz the similarity between chrsitainity and islam is so great...u both share the belief in the One God and you both respect and lovesjesus peace be upon him .....

Will you accept to get married -as a female- to a chrisitan? or Islam doesn't allow you to do so??

thanks
nmII

 

[Wolverine502]

Yes we have talked some about the issue. We respect eachothers religions and have researched into them.

The best thing for you to do is walk away from this situation. Let this be a lesson learned the hard way.

 

[Isis-Astoroth]

I would say, accept what they. You cannot just expect anybody to change their religion for you, just as you would expect nobody to make you change your religion.