What if I tear with no drugs? and other thoughts

[Leanna]

So I am having a major case of self doubt here. What if I make it to the end drug free and then I tear? That would really hurt! How do you make it through that? The midwife said they will help support me to help me not tear, but that the flesh will be weaker there because I tore the first time. She said I shouldn't try to have a water birth because they can't support me as well under water, actually. I think I am seeing it like this.... if I have back labor and am in major pain early on, I'll break down and get painkillers, or any other situation in which I am in major pain early.... but if it goes well like it did last time with a slow build up and no complications then I think I can do it drug free. Except I am concerned about the feeling of tearing flesh while crowning and breaking down and crying or something.

 

[mexy]

Hi
I have absolutely no experience here but I dont think it's a bad thing to breakdown and cry ... or scream if you have to ... is it?

This is my first pg and I really cant stand the thought of pain but so far (perhaps cos I'm so far from labour) the thought of labour hasnt scared me .... if it was ok the first time, I trust it will be even better the second time for you.

Stay Blessed.
Mexy.

 

[jazzbird]

Leanna,

I had to have an episiotomy and I didn't have drugs. I didn't even feel it because it was done when he was crowning - I would assume it would be the same with a tear, but I could be wrong.

About the backlabor: I had it the whole time (18 hours), and I made it through - and I don't consider myself to be overly strong or tolerant of pain. I just say that to encourage you not to assume that you will need to get drugs if you have backlabor. If you need it, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Personally, I just find that when I don't make it a real option in my mind, I'm much more likely to cope fine without it, yet it's always there if you do need it.

 

[rainbowbright]

I tore with my daughter without any drugs. It ended up being fourth degree and I actually did not know that I tore. My OB just gave me a pain killer down thee and sewed me up- that was the worst part

 

[Leanna]

If I have another 4th degree, I'm going to rethink this 4 kids thing

 

[Linnis]

A friend of mine had both an episiotomy and a really bad tear and she says nothing is like the episiotomy and would rather tear anyday than be cut.

I have read doing kegals helps you learn to completely relax the muscles in the area to allow for the largest area for the baby to come out. Also speak to your midwife about doing counter pressure as he's crowning to help prevent tearing and mineral oil massage by DH.

 

[RoseofLima]

If you tear - you won't feel it....

You need to be prepared though for the very intense sensation when the baby is crowning....it feels sometimes - like you are going to rip wide open, with the stinging and burning. Remember that that feeling will in reality only last a minute or two (though in the timelessness of birth- it feels like forever).

Those are the moment s when you need to remember "It is suppose to feel like this. This means my body is stretching and making room for my bnaby to be born. I just need to blow, and let my body ease the baby out. It will be over in just a few minutes and my baby will be in my arms!" This is also when it is a good time to reach down and touch your baby's head...it helps you to stay in the moment, I think....

 

[Leanna]

So I won't feel it then, that's good. You feel it in recovery, that I know, makes me wish I had a c section

 

[RoseofLima]

So I won't feel it then, that's good. You feel it in recovery, that I know, makes me wish I had a c section

It is so much easier not to tear if you can feel everything, and if you have a practioner who is skilled in preventing tears (things like hot compresses, support of the perineum, easing the baby's head out, etc.)

As an aside-- if there is no hurry to get the baby out...I would avoid squatting as a birth position-- as that has been shown to increase the likelihood of third degree tears. It dereases second and first degree tears...go figure

Hands and knees might be an excellent choice, as you can ease the baby out a little better. I really like leaning over a birth ball on the bad, and then rolling back to being more upright to push. THen leaning over the ball in between contractions and during crowning.

 

[jgonz]

The midwife said they will help support me to help me not tear, but that the flesh will be weaker there because I tore the first time. She said I shouldn't try to have a water birth because they can't support me as well under water,

I'm really surprised your midwife said that. The flesh where you tore before has scar tissue, which is actually Stronger than regular skin, so you may tear next to it, but not in the same place.

I'm also really surprised that she said that they can't support you in the water... That's not true. I know a midwife who told me she was practically in the water with her patient one time because the laboring mom had a prolapsed cervix and she needed to support the cervix so it wouldn't come out as the mom pushed... (yikes).

Anyway, being in the water Helps Immensely because the water is Warm, which helps your perineal muscles & the skin stretch soooo much easier.

I had #8 at home, in the bathtub. He never did flex his neck so I had to birth the Full circumference of his head. I felt the "ring of fire" that I hadn't felt since baby #2! However, being in the warm water, I only got a skid mark with that kid.... vs my land birth with #2 where I had a tear (which I didn't even know I had until the doctor was stitching me up).

Another thing to remember is that your body has done all this before... Generally speaking, with baby #2 (or more), you are already "stretched out", so the baby comes much faster than the first one did, and the pushing stage is much faster as well.

It may help to have your midwife tell you when to Stop pushing (even if she's not actively supporting your perineum) when the baby's head crowns so that you can ease the baby out. That right there may well be the Biggest help to avoid a tear.

 

[rainbowbright]

If I have another 4th degree, I'm going to rethink this 4 kids thing

Yeah, I don't know what I'm thnking having twins- I can't imagine what that's going to do to me, but I 'm most likely going to have a c-section this time anyways.

 

[giddybiscuit]

I tore with my daughter without any drugs. It ended up being fourth degree and I actually did not know that I tore. My OB just gave me a pain killer down thee and sewed me up- that was the worst part

Same here. I had a second degree, partial third, and didn't know it until they told me. I mean, it's not like you can feel that you're tearing; it just hurts, as I'm sure it does even when you don't tear. The stitching is definitely the worst part.