Please pray for me today. I will have the unfortunate responsibility as my roommate's friend to broach a very uncomfortable subject with him. For the past eighteen months, my roommate has been dating a woman my age. They have been having sex at least once a week. Recently, the two got into a fight due to their own issues, and went on a "break". The break was supposed to include the following regulation: they would see each other at church on Wednesdays (both are proclaiming followers of Christ), and she would come over to our house one night each weekend, but not spend the night.
So far, she has come over on the weekends and spent the night. He says that they "haven't done anything", but there are several used condoms at the top of his trashcan in the bathroom. I found that out by simple observation when he asked for my help to drain his water bed into his bathtub, so please don't think that I'm so paranoid about this that I went looking for evidence.
Most people tell me that it's not my issue to deal with, and I shouldn't be so concerned. However, I have prayed over this issue a great deal, asking the Lord to help me let it go. That has not happened. The reason that I make it my issue is due to the following:
> The noise keeps me up at night. With the way our house is structured, his room is next to mine, and the noise echoes from his room, into his bathroom, and I can hear it through the wall in my room. I have told him that they are not as quiet as they'd like to think, so his solution? Blast music while they're having sex. Now it's dull thuds of a subwoofer and sexual moans.
> My roommate used to believe that sex before marriage is wrong. As far as I can tell, he no longer believes that. He feels the Lord's conviction each time the sermon at church is on sex and/or purity, but fails to do anything about that.
> The way that my roommate talks about his girlfriend leads me to believe that all he's using her for is sex. I was raised and still believe that respecting people is important. He constantly talks about wanting to have a different girl each week or month, he complains that his girlfriend isn't "hot enough", and he has admitted that part of him is simply waiting for someone better to come along. On the flip side, he talks about how loving and devoted she is, and how he should just shut up and deal with it.
I have grown weary of putting up with all of this. I have tried to talk to him when I can, and even tried talking to her when the subject came up. Both are in very similar positions: they don't care about their other friends. In fact, all of her friends have since left her behind, due to the fact that she blew them off for my roommate.
In short, I will be giving my roommate sort of an ultimatum: if things do not change when the lease is up, I will have to find a place of my own, and will essentially not be his friend. The thought of losing my best friend hurts me deeply, but my priority is to honor the Lord in the situations I put myself. If I had known that this year would be like this, I would have bowed out before.