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What if a loved one ends up in Hell?

Whatthedeuce

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First of all, this question is primarily directed at Christians who believe that Heaven and Hell exists and their memories of loved ones persist in the afterlife. If you don't believe in one of those ideas, I welcome your comments, but I am most interested in the thoughts of Christians who do believe those ideas.

Heaven is supposed to be a place of bliss. However, with the large number of people who will not gain entrance to Heaven, it is unavoidable that some of its members will have spouses, parents, children and other loved ones who are in Hell. Could you be happy if a loved one ended up in Hell while you were in Heaven?
 

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First of all, this question is primarily directed at Christians who believe that Heaven and Hell exists and their memories of loved ones persist in the afterlife. If you don't believe in one of those ideas, I welcome your comments, but I am most interested in the thoughts of Christians who do believe those ideas.

Heaven is supposed to be a place of bliss. However, with the large number of people who will not gain entrance to Heaven, it is unavoidable that some of its members will have spouses, parents, children and other loved ones who are in Hell. Could you be happy if a loved one ended up in Hell while you were in Heaven?
I would that all would choose to be part of the Kingdom of God, but it can't be forced so if someone I loved chose not I would have to accept and come to terms with that.
 
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drich0150

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Loving God with all of our Hearts Mind Spirit and Strength, Means that we Love God more than anyone or anything we have in this world or the next. For me if a loved one chooses to not have a relationship with God, It will be sad. At the same time though, I love them enough to respect their choice. I would Not want God dragging them into Heaven against their will.
 
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marlowe007

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I think it's possible to think of such things - could you be happy if your loved one died from cancer, or worse, in an accident you could have prevented? Most people are capable of facing such possibilities.

For your information, the standard saying among Christians is 'save yourself, and thousands around you will be saved'. Namely, your first duty is to see to yourself, and if you succeed, then the other things you could have done to help others will take care of themselves. Not unlike the wisdom we all use when driving a car - keep your eye on road and especially what is in front of you. Of course you could accidentally incinerate everyone you love, but your first duty is to drive.
 
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Whatthedeuce

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what a load of crap...pretending that people choose to go to hell. It's frightening that people are so willing to justify never ending punishment. Check out this video.
YouTube - Defending hell with Lee Strobel and friends
While I agree that deciding to send a person to a place like Hell is unethical and the most abhorrent act I have ever heard of by far, I did not intend to challenge the ideas held by various Christians when I asked this question. I don't wish for this thread to become a discussion about whether or not the idea of Hell is morally justifiable. If you wish to discuss the morality of Hell, could you please start your own thread?
 
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Whatthedeuce

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I think it's possible to think of such things - wouldn't you feel horrible if your loved one died from cancer, or worse, in an accident you could have prevented. Most people are capable of facing such possibilities.
Perhaps, instead of simply stating that thinking about his sort of thing is possible or stating that you are capable of facing such possibilities, you could actually say what you think about this sort of thing or what your thoughts are when you face these possibilities? That might lead to more interesting and informative discussion.
 
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marlowe007

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I suspect the difficult part is not 'wouldn't the pity make my time in heaven less pleasant?' - as if pleasure had anything to do with Ultimate and Eternal Truth - it would be the self-recrimination at your own failure to love your beloved more - perhaps, if you had not said such and such, she wouldn't now be damned. That is true acceptance of your responsibility for others - that is the in-justice of your salvation, and the price of forgiveness that was paid for you, for which you should already be in mourning. Accepting that gift of mercy - even to escape Hell - might be hard. Many people wallow in guilt and self-recrimination, and talk themselves out of their own salvation.

Of course, the demons are all over this one - pity yourself now, and your loved ones later, when exactly the opposite is what is needed. Pity, spent out of season, is wasted. Pity others now, and the consequences for yourself later, and you will act rightly both times. The egoist looks at the damned and says, 'yes, but what about me? Have they no consideration for my feelings?'
 
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razeontherock

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Could you be happy if a loved one ended up in Hell while you were in Heaven?

And what is a loved one? You might want to ask the good Samaritan that.

Expanding on the idea, my first Pastor had I vision from God that I will never forget:

there was a huge crowd, but lined up in rows.

God told him to push them off the edge of a cliff, one by one. This being a good man, he was unwilling, and very perplexed. He saw that over this cliff was the great chasm that separates hell from God's presence. Then God told him these were the people He had sent him to witness to, but he hadn't.

Comprende?
 
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drich0150

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While I agree that deciding to send a person to a place like Hell is unethical and the most abhorrent act I have ever heard of by far, I did not intend to challenge the ideas held by various Christians when I asked this question. I don't wish for this thread to become a discussion about whether or not the idea of Hell is morally justifiable. If you wish to discuss the morality of Hell, could you please start your own thread?


Hell is the absents of God and the rest of God's creation. If you do not want to be with God in this life then what makes you think you want to be with God in the next life for eternity? Could you Imagine a church service that lasted forever? Is this what you want for yourself or those you love who do not love God?

Hell being the absents of God and all of creation is the only place you can go to be away from a omnipresent God.

So when it is said that people "choose" Hell it is because they do not want to be with God, or what He has created.

Otherwise I ask if their is their is even a level of hypocrisy that one can attribute to the level of selfishness that wants all of best parts of creation to themselves but not the Creator? Do you not realize that one is apart of the other? If you want one then by default you desire the other. If you do not know this now, there will come a day that you will. Unfortunately by then, it will be too late.

Heaven is not a about streets of gold in a lush gated community. Heaven is about being with God. Why else do you think Heaven uses all of our treasures as common building materials? Because all the materialistic stuff we value now will be worthless there. Have you ever tried to buy a Ferrari with a lump of asphalt or a cobble stone? Gold will have the same value as these everyday items. So being in Heaven has to be more about why your their, than what is their for you.

Heaven simply put is where God lives. Ask yourself do you want to spend an eternity with God? If yes then seek Him out. If no then know you do have an alternative.

Speaking of which If the descriptions of Heaven and Hell were somehow turned around in our past, and Heaven was a Fiery pit, but God lived there, and Hell was what we know to be paradise would you still want to goto Heaven? (The Fiery Pit?)

Those who seek Heaven because they fear hell or because they believe it to be their reward, do not understand what Heaven really is. Why want something simply because you fear the alternative? With this line of reasoning can you even know what it is you are getting yourself into?

1/3 of all the angels risked literal hell to not be with God when given the chance. What make you think that you or anyone else who do not choose God in this life will choose God in the next? Remember the 1/3 that fell from Heaven. They knew of Heaven's grandeur more so than you ever could in this life and yet chose Hell over being with God. What makes you think you would be any different?

This life is about Choice, and a truly Righteous God will respect the choices you make.
 
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Joveia

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This is something that I've had to deal with up close, because my father was a very nice guy, who I had a close friendship with, and a nonbeliever, and died two years ago.

One thing I must say is that I agree with all atheists out there, that it would be completely disgusting for God to send anyone to hell against their will. No one, and I mean no one, deserves to go to hell (in the sense that God would ever want that; sinners must be separated from God).

This is why most Christians believe that the only reason why there's a hell is that people choose to go there. God doesn't want anyone to go to hell (1 Timothy 2:4: "Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth") but people frustrate God's plan to save them. So the Bible agrees with atheists: no one deserves to go to hell in the sense that God wants anyone to go to hell (Eze 33:11 as well).

I think hell is being 'cut loose' and being free to do whatever you want to do, for an eternity, without God. God warns us that that won't really make people truly happy, and will, in enough time, become as painful as fire (I wrote my view on this here). Meanwhile, heaven involves serving God and serving other people in a perfect way, but you get to experience God's sense of peace and contentment.

A lot of the people in hell will be good people. Really good people, like my father. But to experience heaven you can't just be good, you need to be completely perfect, and it's the fact they don't accept that 'extra step' that means they don't choose to go to heaven.

I remember reading an atheist criticising a book justifying hell, and he said that if heaven is serving God, and hell is being free to do what you want to do without God's interference, then what is the big deal? Isn't hell actually heaven? And I've got this response from other atheists and nonbelievers. So I believe that if you describe the two options in a certain way, then people's religious views line up with them.
 
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beforHim

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razeontherock: wow, that's amazing.

=================================

I agree mostly with talitha. The oter answers seem to eithe rbypass te question or answer another question (which you pointed out). But talitha actually answered, and very correctly. Abraham said it best: "Won't the judge of all the earth do right?". I don't ave to know how it happens to know that it happens- "it", in this case, being "we are happy in Hell even with the full knowledge of loved one being in Hell".
 
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Whatthedeuce

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And what is a loved one? You might want to ask the good Samaritan that.

Expanding on the idea, my first Pastor had I vision from God that I will never forget:

there was a huge crowd, but lined up in rows.

God told him to push them off the edge of a cliff, one by one. This being a good man, he was unwilling, and very perplexed. He saw that over this cliff was the great chasm that separates hell from God's presence. Then God told him these were the people He had sent him to witness to, but he hadn't.

Comprende?
Well, each person has to define who his/her loved ones are individually. I can't tell you who you love. For me, loved ones include my immediate family: my parents and my two brothers. I am just assuming that everyone has somebody that s/he loves. If there isn't anyone that you love, then I suppose you would not be able to answer the question.

I think I understand what you are trying to say with that story. It was part of Yahweh's plan for your pastor to save the people in his dream. However, he failed to save them. Failing to save those people was no different than sending them to Hell himself. Is this what you are saying?

Would how it applies to this question mean that if a Christian loves someone who ends up in Hell, then it is at least partially the Christian's fault?
 
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Whatthedeuce

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wow, you asked me a lot of questions in that post... anyways, here are my responses to them

Hell is the absents of God and the rest of God's creation. If you do not want to be with God in this life then what makes you think you want to be with God in the next life for eternity? Could you Imagine a church service that lasted forever? Is this what you want for yourself or those you love who do not love God?

I don't recall ever deciding that I do not want to be with Yahweh. I don't eve see how I am capable of making such a decision since I have never even met him. Even if I had made that decision, I see no reason to think that given an infinite amount of time, there would be anything that I would not change my mind about.

No, I could not imagine a church service that lasted forever because I am incapable of imagining anything that lasts forever.

If there were a dichotomous decision between a church service and torture by being burned in fire, I would want the church service.

drich0150 said:
Hell being the absents of God and all of creation is the only place you can go to be away from a omnipresent God.

So when it is said that people "choose" Hell it is because they do not want to be with God, or what He has created.

Otherwise I ask if their is their is even a level of hypocrisy that one can attribute to the level of selfishness that wants all of best parts of creation to themselves but not the Creator? Do you not realize that one is apart of the other? If you want one then by default you desire the other. If you do not know this now, there will come a day that you will. Unfortunately by then, it will be too late.
(For the sake of discussion, for these questions I will assume that all your beliefs are correct, and that I have decided I don't like Yahweh despite the fact that I have never met him.)
No, there is no hypocrisy in wanting the things that Yahweh created but not wanting Yahweh.
No, I do not realize that the things Yahweh created are a part of him. That would mean that I am a part of him since he created me. If I am a part of him then by going to Hell (which is also a part of him because he created it too) I would not be away of from him.

drich0150 said:
Heaven is not a about streets of gold in a lush gated community. Heaven is about being with God. Why else do you think Heaven uses all of our treasures as common building materials? Because all the materialistic stuff we value now will be worthless there. Have you ever tried to buy a Ferrari with a lump of asphalt or a cobble stone? Gold will have the same value as these everyday items. So being in Heaven has to be more about why your their, than what is their for you.
I wasn't aware that Heaven uses our treasures as common building materials. I was under the impression that our treasures are on Earth. That is why we own them.
(I'm going to assume that part about buying a Ferrari is rhetorical)

drich0150 said:
Heaven simply put is where God lives. Ask yourself do you want to spend an eternity with God? If yes then seek Him out. If no then know you do have an alternative.
I want to not spend an eternity being tortured in fire. I would want anything that prevents that from happening.

drich0150 said:
Speaking of which If the descriptions of Heaven and Hell were somehow turned around in our past, and Heaven was a Fiery pit, but God lived there, and Hell was what we know to be paradise would you still want to goto Heaven? (The Fiery Pit?)
No, if that were the case, I would want to go to Hell.

drich0150 said:
Those who seek Heaven because they fear hell or because they believe it to be their reward, do not understand what Heaven really is. Why want something simply because you fear the alternative? With this line of reasoning can you even know what it is you are getting yourself into?
I think that fearing the alternative is a great reason for wanting something. This is how I make all my decisions. I weigh the benefits and negative aspects of each option. Then I want the one with the most benefits and least negative aspects. If there are only two options, and one of them is very very negative, I want the other. It is a very reasonable position.

With this line of reasoning, and only that line of reasoning, no I cannot know what it is I am getting into. However, when the alternative is the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen to me, I know that what I am getting myself into must be better.

drich0150 said:
1/3 of all the angels risked literal hell to not be with God when given the chance. What make you think that you or anyone else who do not choose God in this life will choose God in the next? Remember the 1/3 that fell from Heaven. They knew of Heaven's grandeur more so than you ever could in this life and yet chose Hell over being with God. What makes you think you would be any different?
Well, the fact that I have an infinite amount of time to change my mind is what makes me think that I would change it. Given an infinite amount of time, I can expect my opinion about everything to change. That is because infinity has no time limit.

Well, the thing that makes me think I would be different is that I am not an angel. I have never met a person whom I am exactly identical to, so it leads me to believe that there are no angels whom I am exactly identical to.

Regardless of all of this, it puzzles me that you would even make such a post. I stated that I though sending someone to a place like how Hell is described is unethical and abhorrent. The judgment that Hell is unethical and abhorrent is subjective.
 
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Whatthedeuce

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I think hell is being 'cut loose' and being free to do whatever you want to do, for an eternity, without God. God warns us that that won't really make people truly happy, and will, in enough time, become as painful as fire (I wrote my view on this here). Meanwhile, heaven involves serving God and serving other people in a perfect way, but you get to experience God's sense of peace and contentment.
The cause of the pain is not what makes Hell bad. The degree of the pain is what makes it bad. If Hell is as painful as fire, then how is sending someone to Hell any better than actually sending the person into fire?
 
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Whatthedeuce

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I agree mostly with talitha. The oter answers seem to eithe rbypass te question or answer another question (which you pointed out). But talitha actually answered, and very correctly. Abraham said it best: "Won't the judge of all the earth do right?". I don't ave to know how it happens to know that it happens- "it", in this case, being "we are happy in Hell even with the full knowledge of loved one being in Hell".
I think that this position is a reasonable one to take from the point of view of a Christian. However, I don't think that you agree with talitha entirely. Talitha said she did not know. This leaves the possibility that she might not be capable of being happy while people she loves are in Hell. You, however, do not express such doubts about your ability to be happy while the people you love are being tortured. You are sure that you are capable of being happy while your loved ones are tortured even though you don't know how.
 
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drich0150

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I don't recall ever deciding that I do not want to be with Yahweh. I don't eve see how I am capable of making such a decision since I have never even met him.

We were all born into a life of sin. Being that the wages of unatoned sin is death. if we do not seek atonement through Jesus we automatically seek the second death/Hell. If you do not openly start and maintain with God in this life, according to scripture, you will have decided to not to have a relationship with God in the next. You can bock, buck and cluck at it if you want to deucey, just understand that that is the way it is.

No, I could not imagine a church service that lasted forever because I am incapable of imagining anything that lasts forever.

Then what are you capable of imagining? What is the Longest length of time you will sit in a church service before you are ready to go? If it is as you say, and you would gladly sit in a church service for an eternity, as apposed to burning forever, then why don't you sit in services now? How is 2-4 hours aweek too much, but an eternity an acceptable alternative?

No, there is no hypocrisy in wanting the things that Yahweh created but not wanting Yahweh.
You clearly misunderstood my question I was not asking if you thought it was hypocritical to want what God has created, but not God..

I made the assertion that it is indeed Hypocritical to want creation, but not the creator. I simply asked: do we even have a word to describe that level of hypocrisy.

No, I do not realize that the things Yahweh created are a part of him.
Well, it is.

That would mean that I am a part of him since he created me.
Even more so than you think deucey, we have been Held above of the rest of creation, because we have been made in His image.

If I am a part of him then by going to Hell (which is also a part of him because he created it too) I would not be away of from him.
It is evident that your understanding of the term "apart of God" is incomplete. Those who Choose Hell do not take a literal piece of God to Hell with them. The term apart of God here is used to describe the relationship between creator and creation. Like the bond between Mother and Child. A Mother can say, she see apart of herself in her child. Even though Physically she still is whole.

The part of God you take, is the desire that God has for you to remain in heaven with Him. God remains Whole, and the individual get to experience what "he" understands to be the full heat of Hell without God.

I wasn't aware that Heaven uses our treasures as common building materials. I was under the impression that our treasures are on Earth. That is why we own them.

Streets of Gold.. Pearly gates.. I didn't anticipate that you would take everything that i had written so literaly. My original intention was to describe how, what we value as treasure, had been transformed into common building stock. That "Heaven' was not a paradise because of the wealth and luxury that was used in it's construction. Heaven was Heaven because God was there..

I also see according to the "zinger" you were forced to place at the end of of your paragraph in order to qualify the preceding statement. You seem well aware of my intent.

Your selective understanding and semi-literal interpretation of what is written has been dually noted.

No, if that were the case, I would want to go to Hell.
You claim to not have Not made a decision about wanting to goto Hell.. Apparently you were lying or Mistaken.


I think that fearing the alternative is a great reason for wanting something. This is how I make all my decisions. I weigh the benefits and negative aspects of each option. Then I want the one with the most benefits and least negative aspects. If there are only two options, and one of them is very very negative, I want the other. It is a very reasonable position.

So what if the other option is Very Very Very negative, and you know nothing of it?

Do you see what I did deucey? I added a Very, and capitalized the V so that would indicate it is more negative than just a very, very negative option.

How does one choose the lessor of two weevils, if he only knows of the one?
What do you know of Heaven, truly? (Please answer this on in great detail, so we all may diced it.)

With this line of reasoning, and only that line of reasoning, no I cannot know what it is I am getting into. However, when the alternative is the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen to me, I know that what I am getting myself into must be better.

Even If this is the only line of reasoning available, How is it you can not imagine an eternity because you have not personally experienced it, but yet you imagine that, Heaven is somehow better than Hell if you refuse a personal relationship with God?

How is it you can power your imagination into action, when it suits the progression of a weak argument, and yet somehow your imagination seems closed to all other illustrations?

If you maintained your requirement for literal purity, I would be able to respect your efforts here. As it is.. Deucey!

Well, the fact that I have an infinite amount of time to change my mind is what makes me think that I would change it. Given an infinite amount of time, I can expect my opinion about everything to change. That is because infinity has no time limit.

If your mind would change one way in an infinite environment, would you not think it could change back? Why would God want to be with a person who loved him for 100 years, and plotted to take over Heaven for the next 10,000, only to have him and his brothers change their minds again?

We are told that those who are responsible with Little (in this case time) will be responsible with Much. Those who squander little that they have been given, will also squander much.

When Jesus said these words do you think He meant everyone except you?

Regardless of all of this, it puzzles me that you would even make such a post. I stated that I though sending someone to a place like how Hell is described is unethical and abhorrent. The judgment that Hell is unethical and abhorrent is subjective.
Now, I am also puzzled. if you thought my post to be off topic then why spend so much time responding to it? You seem somewhat educated, why throw your pearls of wisdom to simple swine? There have been several other posts in other threads i have made that you did not care to respond to.. so why this one, and not the others?

Did I make it too tempting this time? Did all the illustrations and semi rhetorical questions make you think explaining myself would be just too much for me to do?

I did not intentionally misrepresent myself, I just though you may be open to a less direct approach.. Apparently you are, under certain conditions.
 
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razeontherock

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Well, each person has to define who his/her loved ones are individually. I can't tell you who you love.

Jesus can! The gross, bloody, stinking mess that the religious leader avoided is who we are to love. Just as much as our own Mother; so you missed the point of that story. I don't expect it's because you never heard the story of the good Samaritan.
I think I understand what you are trying to say with that story. It was part of Yahweh's plan for your pastor to save the people in his dream. However, he failed to save them. Failing to save those people was no different than sending them to Hell himself. Is this what you are saying?

You're closer with this one but let's get one thing straight: not one of us can do anything to "save" anybody, including ourselves. No the vision was clear, and stated as such; he failed to witness to those God had sent him to witness to, and therefore their blood was on his hands, signified by his having the awful task of pushing them into the abyss.

And while any one of us can form the subjective opinion that God is immoral for sending someone to hell, what power do we have to enforce our morality upon the Almighty? From such a position we will find God does not hear our prayers, hardens our hearts, and rejects us completely without compassion. "Behold the goodness and severity of God."

I agree with you that choosing to depart from hell is reasonable, even if the other option is not fully known. You could consider this to be the Faith of Abraham. (although it's a weakened or diluted version, it's a start that God will in fact honor)

The ONLY way to start on that path is with the recognition that if any of us got what we deserved, that would be eternity in hell. God's a real stickler on this one! We are separated from God, and that is what hell is all about. What we need is a way back, and I assure you any earthly church service is a poor imitation of being restored to His presence; although I've been in some very powerfully good ones!! The cross does this; it bridges the great divide between God and us. There is no other way.

Would how it applies to this question mean that if a Christian loves someone who ends up in Hell, then it is at least partially the Christian's fault?

Now THIS is a good question! Again, back to the story of the Good Samaritan, ANYBODY AT ALL that winds up in hell, it is the fault of ALL Christians. We failed in their case. If we don't love them, we failed miserably.

God have mercy on us all.
 
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