What I Wish...

[WomanAtTheWell]

I wish that there was some sort of way I could get a brain scan or a blood test and the doctor could actually tell what was wrong with me and know how to treat it, instead of all these guessing games and trials and errors with meds..... I stopped taking meds and going to see the psychiatrist a while back because this is so frustrating!

Is there anything that you wish?

 

[PrairieGurl]

I wish that there was some sort of way I could get a brain scan or a blood test and the doctor could actually tell what was wrong with me and know how to treat it, instead of all these guessing games and trials and errors with meds..... I stopped taking meds and going to see the psychiatrist a while back because this is so frustrating!

Is there anything that you wish?

Do you wish for these medical tests to confirm your bp diagnosis...or this is a "wish" that these test "could" tell you whats wrong?

Do you feel better since you stopped seeing a pdoc and stopped taking your meds?

Sometimes I wish Jesus would come back to get us all...cause in Heaven there will be no more tears or sickness. We will all have new bodies and spend eternity with Him and all our loved ones who have gone before.

 

[WomanAtTheWell]

Do you wish for these medical tests to confirm your bp diagnosis...or this is a "wish" that these test "could" tell you whats wrong?

Do you feel better since you stopped seeing a pdoc and stopped taking your meds?

Sometimes I wish Jesus would come back to get us all...cause in Heaven there will be no more tears or sickness. We will all have new bodies and spend eternity with Him and all our loved ones who have gone before.

I have never been diagnosed as bipolar, just major depression - there was someone once who suspected bipolar but my insurance changed and I couldn't go back to that person.

I wish that a test could tell me what's wrong, sometimes I feel like it's all just guessing with dsm-iv criteria. I wish that there were tests, like blood tests for anyone that could say - this is what's really wrong. Even though I know that even with medical diagnoses, they are wrong or just guessing a lot of the time.

I don't feel better or worse since I stopped seeing the psychiatrists - just about the same, sometimes better sometimes worse - it ebbs and flows. I am going to go see someone else again soon, though.

 

[PrairieGurl]

I wish that a test could tell me what's wrong, sometimes I feel like it's all just guessing with dsm-iv criteria. I wish that there were tests, like blood tests for anyone that could say - this is what's really wrong. Even though I know that even with medical diagnoses, they are wrong or just guessing a lot of the time.

Oh, can I "feel" where you're coming from. For the last 20 years...I have heard everything from " it's all in your head" (which is actually true...but not the way that doc put it) I too wished that there was some test, no matter how awful or extreme, that could tell me and the doc what was wrong with me. I tried more meds then you can imagine, had a complete hysterectomy when I was 28 (which took care of many of my "symptoms"), and spent many years "self medicating" myself.

I so feel for you Americans with having to pay for everything from seeing a doc to having to pay for hospital stays, etc.!!!!! Here in Canada we are "covered" for this all. So if we see a doc or pdoc who just seems like he doesn't care or seems like he's just in it for the money...we can change with no expense from us. It took many years to find the doc I have now. Not only is he a man of God, but he is a very wise and knowledgable doc (who cares)

Wendy

 

[PrairieGurl]

PS
Sorry for assuming you were bp

Wendy

 

[WomanAtTheWell]

PS
Sorry for assuming you were bp

Wendy

Oh, don't be sorry, I really think I am bipolar!! I have just never been diagnosed with it.

I was always diagnosed with MAJOR DEPRESSION...

The first time I went to see a psychiatrist, he diagnosed Major Depression and prescribed Zoloft. (He was a resident, and I really didn't think that he knew what he was doing. He actually prescribed the meds for me in the middle of the hallway, after speaking with his attending - I ended up telling on him for that, so I think he had issues with me...) I told him a few visits later that I really thought I might be bp and he said - well, we are going to go with what we have now or something like that... He was pretty condescending.

I shopped around a bit and have tried a couple of different psychiatrists. Mostly they come up with major depression... I think sometimes I mask some of the more bipolar traits because I have this negative image of that diagnosis... And sometimes it's hard to remember everything or think of what I need to be telling them. That's why I wish there was some definitive type of test - that it didn't rely on my self report and the doctor's impression of what I say.

 

[raylenar]

I also wish there was a test to discover what was wrong with me. I have most of my immediate family including my husband disbelieving the diagnosis. Most want to believe it's just immaturity. I don't think they have a medication for that. I would think they would listen to my pdoc and my counselor, but they don't want to. They tell me to quit feeling sorry for myself and grow up. I have learned to live with it, but it makes it harder. There are times when I am being immature, but those I recognize and confess to. The rest I wish would just go away. I wish that after a mania episode, life can just go back to normal. But it can't. I've got to deal with everyone being mad at me. But this is the beginning, hopefully it will get better with time. I haven't hardly even started the journey of figuring out which medication to take.

 

[PrairieGurl]

To The Womanatthewell,

You know...I wasn't honest with my doc at the begining...I left out the "mania" stuff...he actually just thought I was hyper naturally. The trouble I got myself into because of the mania, I never shared with him. When I did share more of the whole "picture"...he said it was very likely bp but he sent me to a pdoc to verify the diagnosis.

You should try telling another pdoc "the whole story". I know this is not easy as I found it hard myself...but it's almost a relief when you share it with a pdoc.

Wendy

 

[PrairieGurl]

I also wish there was a test to discover what was wrong with me. I have most of my immediate family including my husband disbelieving the diagnosis. Most want to believe it's just immaturity. I don't think they have a medication for that. I would think they would listen to my pdoc and my counselor, but they don't want to. They tell me to quit feeling sorry for myself and grow up. I have learned to live with it, but it makes it harder. There are times when I am being immature, but those I recognize and confess to. The rest I wish would just go away. I wish that after a mania episode, life can just go back to normal. But it can't. I've got to deal with everyone being mad at me. My husband even punch out one of our doors, to show me how mad he was at me. I can't even say I'm sorry anymore, he just wants me to change. I wish he wold just back off. When I go through a depression phase and can't keep the house clean, he gets mad at me for that. I'm trying the hardest that I can, and I feel like I would be a lot "better" if he would stop policing me and just let me be sometimes. The other day I really needed him and he refused to comfort me. That kind of stuff is depressing on its own. I wish he would just understand. I wish there was a test machine I could plug into to show him what's going on in my brain. My pdoc said an MRI wouldn't really tell me anything. I think that sucks! But I'm glad to have found this forum, because I'm not the only person who goes through this anymore.

Your right Raylenar! You're not the only person who goes through this! I'm glad you found this forum also. It has been such a source of encouragement for me!

Regarding your immediate family and husband I really think they are in denial. I don't think they disbelieve you, perse, I think it's easier for them to think of it as immaturaty cause that can be "fixed" by you. They wouldn't have to support you or learn about something they don't experience or have misconceptions about. My husband was in denial for the first while...it was not a good time in either of our lives. It took alot on his part to admitt to himself what was going on with his wife.

You know Hon, even if there was a test to show your husband what was going on in your brain...it would be his choice to accept what he saw or continue in his denial.

About everyone being mad at you after a mania episode...this is THEIR problem...NOT yours. Try thinking this way and see if you feel better during these times. I agree with you...it WOULD be easier if your husband would stop "policing you" and just "let you be you"!!!

With s & s,
Wendy

 

[Alive again]

I wish that there was some sort of way I could get a brain scan or a blood test and the doctor could actually tell what was wrong with me and know how to treat it, instead of all these guessing games and trials and errors with meds..... I stopped taking meds and going to see the psychiatrist a while back because this is so frustrating!

Is there anything that you wish?

They are working on brain scans in research right now that show the differences in how brain's of those who have bp process info differently. However, although that may give us a diagnosis, there will always be individual differences in response to meds and some trial and error. It is that way with diabetes and heart disease and any illness out there. We all just respond somewhat differently to the same disease or medication.