I guess the fact that he's wearing his epitrachelion kind of speaks to that.
There are others struggling, also on the edge, with skepticism warring with a realization of the need to repent, and a fading sense of that need being an indication of spiritual death. You're not the only one. Choosing to believe that God is greater than the humans in the right Church who mess everything up and cause us to lose hope helps.
I am constantly crushed by the general rejection of sexual morality among churched people, including the embrace of divorce as "a way out". It drives me to a desire to reject the organization those people are in as "not the Church". Their choices affect me. I KNOW what the Christian ideal is in those things. I have violated it myself, and am a forgiven sinner, who continues to sin, in small, boring, unspectacular ways, that prevent me from even imagining myself to be great in sinning.
That goes for everyone who thinks that we know better than the fathers and Christians of the past because of modern education and science. I am repelled to find attitudes in the Church that say "WE know better, period." I just have nowhere to go. And I doubt you do, either, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
I don't know that I CAN hold on. But as long as I can, I'll try to, and keep saying those simple prayers. After all these years, I don't have a better answer. And neither do you.