What do u do

[HeavenzAngel]

When everything ever said about you was negative?
What do u do when you gotta visit you're cruel step mom?

I try to think postive things about myself, but I can't anymore. I truly think I'm a boring and crazy person like people tell me.

 

[tapero]

Hi HeavenzAngel,

I'm so sorry people are treating you this way. The one thing that battles this is God's word and his promises in his word. Stay in it. Remember our battle is not against flesh and blood. So though people say terrible things it is your spirit that gets so hurt, try to recall that they just don't know any better. Like Stephen did, Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

I don't know about your stepmother. That sounds hard too.

I do know this, I've seen your posts and you are a beautiful person, and the more you write the more you come out and can be affirmed for who you are, not who the world says you are.

God bless you precious one. You are loved by the King most high. Remind yourself of truths that transform.

Love, Tapero

 

[HeavenzAngel]

thanks, but right now, I wonder if its all true. I'm going through a doubting period, maybe I'll go back to christ again. I try to read the bible, but dunno scare of reading about sin and the rapture.

 

[burn97]

God's Love Letter to You

My child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up(Psalm 139:2), I am familiar with your ways (Psalm 139:3), even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matt 10:29-31). For you were made in my image (Genesis 1:27). In me you live and move and have your being (Acts 17:28), for you are my offspring (Acts 17:28).

I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12), You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book(Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), I knit you together in your mother's womb (Psalm 139:13), and brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6).

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me (John 8:41-44) I am not distant and angry, but I am the complete expression of love (1 John 4:16) and it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1) Simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1) I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11) For I am the perfect father (Matthew 5:48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17) For I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33)

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Because I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalms 139:17-18) And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40) For you are my treasured possession (Exodus 19:5) I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul (Jeremiah 32:41)

And I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3) If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29) Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)
For it is I who gave you those desires (Philippians 2:13)

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20) For I am your greatest encourager (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18) As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11)

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21:3-4) And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23) For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed (John 17:26) He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31) And to tell you that I am not counting your sins (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (1 John 4:10)
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love (Romans 8:31-32) If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (1 John 2:23) And nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39)

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7) I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15)

My question is, will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)
I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32)

Love,
Your Dad. Almighty God


Would you go to a lawyer if you were sick? No, You'd go to a doctor!
Would you go to a car garage is you need money? No, You'd go to a bank!
So why listen to the world about who you are, and not go to the One who Created you?
God is the only One who you should be listening to, not your step-mom, your friends, your family, ect.
What does God say about you?
does He say Youre a mistake? NO! He says, ' I am a child of God, and my inheritance comes from Him.' John1:12
does He say youre worthless? NO! He says, ' I have a special, God-ordained purpose.'1Corinthians2:9
does He say you're never going to amount to anything? NO! He says, 'I have been created with a specific calling.'1Corinthians7:7
does He say, you don't deserve anyone to love you? NO! He says ' I am never alone.'Matthew 28:20
does He say, youre not worth anything? NO! He says ' I am never forgotten.'Romans 11:2
does He say youre not worthy to be loved? NO! He says, 'I am loved.' John 15:9
does He say youre a loser? NO! He says, ' I am a winner' Romans8:37

Dear sister, God says so many good wonderful things about you... don't listen to those that only want to bring you down. Don't listen to the lies of the enemy. And that's where all these feelings come from.... the father of lies. " Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, stand firm in the faith. "

 

[Gentle]

recognize that, really see how it's a brainwash and nothing said about you was to you or even real. Explore these peoples lives and motives and see why they treated you so. It can be reasoned out this way but with a calm, quiet mind, if u are getting upset, quit, relax try again. I could insult you in anyway I wanted to right now and would u care? and my reasoning for doing it would be as irration as anyone who has done it to you.
Boring and crazy? I don't know you so I couldn't say but are these bad qualities anyways? I'm crazy and love it!
look for your inner self and quiet those voices in your mind of past abusive langauges...learn to turn that record or Cd off with reason.
never forget you control your mind and with your back ground you will have to fight harder...that's where Jesus can really help.
I think you are cool and a super groovy dude, man hehe
d/l Tim Learys -'How To Operate Your Brain'
its something that really helpled me
I used to think I was the most hideous messed up person on the earth btw for years from illnesses and such and I know darkness and hell
now I feel like a child of Gods, divine
so much comes back to perception, thats a key word that always comes back over and over in any discussion of this
oh and prayer lol
and I'll pray as well for you to feel Gods REAL love
peace, God bless

 

[HolyOne87]

I know how it feels to be treated that way. Ever since the 5th grade, I've been consistantly told by others that i was ugly, stupid, etc etc. And for about 7 years of my life I actually believed that.
What I usually do is look at all the stuff i've done. I've ran a bible camp this year, I help the poor, etc etc. Does that make me a stupid person? certainly not.
I am sure you have wonderful things about yourself that others dont know, but you do. And I bet you are a beautiful person too.
You cannot allow them to take over your thoughts. I did that and it led me to soo many dark roads. Although they might be the only thoughts you have, but if I were you conduct your own thoughts on yourself. What do YOU feel you are? and do not bring to mind what others think you are.
It's all about you. I bet if I got to know you right now I would name so many good things about you.
I shall pray for you..That God gives you the strength to realize the good things you are and not the bad.

*many hugs*

+God Bless+

 

[Frangible]

When everything ever said about you was negative?

Not everything said about you is negative though, I'm willing to guess. And even if I'm wrong, I'll say positive things now. First of all, you're aware something is amiss. This is very important to moving forward at all, and not everyone is even aware of it. So just by your posting, that says something positive about you.

Next, I clicked on your blog. You had some well written if painful poetry, certainly better than anything I could do. Creativity and intelligence aren't bad qualities to have.

But you suffer greatly. You feel alone, and in pain. So ask yourself: what is the cause of that suffering, and how do you put your creativity and intelligence into solving it?

What do u do when you gotta visit you're cruel step mom?

Without people to cause us annoyance, aggravation, or anger, how could we learn patience? It may not be an experience that is what you desire, but it is an experience, that can teach you and make you a better person.

I try to think postive things about myself, but I can't anymore.

In depression, we feel the worst delusions towards ourselves. But we can think positive things, at any time. I would suggest though that the most positive thing you could think is the opposite state of how you are feeling, or the opposite of the negative thoughts that are overwhelming you.

I truly think I'm a boring and crazy person like people tell me.

Ah, but is your thinking true? Does repetition of thought alone equal truth?

And you can't be boring and crazy. That's like French courage. It just can't happen. If you're crazy, you're definately not boring. And if you're boring, you can't be crazy. So don't worry, this logically can't be true.

And from your blog,

I give up on CF
not because its causing me pain
its because I don't know

This is an important truth to recognize.

its a christian site
and I doubt GOD is real

Remember, a defined God is a confined God. Shatter your ideals on the rock of truth.

I was a christian
til I offically broke

And what is a Christian? Every denomination has their own definition. Perhaps you are still a Christian, and it is merely your definition that has changed. And it's ok to be unsure or doubting, if this never occured, how would we gain knowledge?

I basically wish GOD
gave me more
but he gives me none

God gives all. You have a computer, live in an industrialized nation, have a family, medical care, clean water, food, and are safe. That's a pretty good "daily bread" most people in the world can't make a claim to. You see creative and intelligent, so in this situation I think you'd agree you logically have great opportunity.

my family didn't care
my dad and steps don't care
my sister don't care

I don't know your family. But rare is the father who cares nothing for his daughter. Is this truly the case, or is the depression creating another delusion in your mind? When I was depressed, I had many delusions like this.

I doubt GOD cares

God cares and God is caring. But we must all also be "salted with fire". As Job experienced, suffering is an transformative experience. And God tests those he loves the most. But you must come to terms with this yourself.

and I can't forget my friends don't care

Is this true, or another delusion of depression? Some friends are not as strongly connected to us as others. It may be they seem indifferent but they might actually just feel uncomfortable with the amount of pain you're in.

If I told everyone what is wrong with me it would be three things

I'm bi-polar

Well, that's a tough place to be, for sure.

I'm lonely, no one talks to me in this house

We are taking here. And you have bared your soul, and problems. Yet you still feel alone. Loneliness is a feeling from within, that may or may not reflect the way you should normally feel.

And I got no real life

Are you alive? Yes. Are you real? As real as I am. I'd say you have a real life.

Now, you may not have a life that meets your ideal, or what you see on TV. But does that really matter? If you compare your life to an unattainable ideal, or a barely attainable one, all you'll see is differences, regrets. And you suffer. Because you will never see the things you have, only the things you lack. Dualism is an illusion. There is no ideal. There is only now. So, be here now. It is your real life, and always will be. The ideal in your mind is just that. Unreal.

I get jealous of happy families
I really do, I wish I could have a happy family

You cannot cause others to have happiness. Only they can do that for themselves, because happiness comes from within.

Jealousy prevents you from feeling happy. In feeling jealous of the other family, you again see not what you have, but what you lack. So if this desire you cannot obtain is making you suffer (in addition to whatever family problems you may actually have), prevents you from being happy, and can't be fulfilled, why not just let go?

Instead, look at families more broken, more devestated than yours, and help them if you can. In doing that, it is possible you will no longer feel attached to that ideal in your mind, but instead enjoy what you do have. Granted, it may be imperfect, flawed-- but that is the nature of everything in this world.

The truth is, there is no ideal. You only make yourself a prisoner of your own fantasy.

where we all love eachother

Love, and be loved. This is not a guarantee, but usually happens. Do everything you can to love your family, regardless of what they do to you. It may be they see your actions and intent, and change their behavior. But even if not, you will still have loved your family. And in feeling love, you cannot feel hatred and suffer.

and didn't use eachother

but that is a miracle
I don't believe in miracles anymore

Then believe in yourself. Believe you are a person. Believe you are a human being, the same as any other. Believe you are capable of giving and receiving love. Believe you should be happy and free from suffering. Believe you can change yourself. Believe that stray thought and emotion in your mind is not you, and may not be true. Now transform that belief into action. You may not think God has given you anything, but you do have two hands that make your will into reality.

Thats why I want a soulmate so bad, so maybe I can finally have someone that loves me and won't yell at me or anything else.

God is love, and the beloved is God. No relationship is perfect. They are formed around initial conditions that are subject to change, and with them, the relationship. Conflict and strife happens in all relationships. Not only must you deal with your problems, but the problems of the other person. You are longing for something, but it all comes down to you, and what is within yourself. Another person cannot be a substitute for this. No matter how perfect you consider them to be, they are flawed, imperfect, and ignorant, just like you and me, and everyone else in the world.

I hate saying bye to GOD
but I feel like
he isn't listening

He always listens. He rarely will change the laws of the universe for you, though. Or give you something that will not help you. God doesn't care about our material gain in this world, or satiating our egocentric desires. He wants us to love and worship him, and serve him by loving and serving others.

I pray
write songs about him
I been waiting 23 years
for the storm to stop and it hasn't

And it won't. It's part of the human condition.

today I called my dad
and my step mom yelled at me
like usual
made me feel worthless
like usual

Your stepmother's anger, or even love, is not a cause of your worth or worthlessness. Your worth is instrinsic as a human being, and not something another can take away. And you can add to that, by serving, loving others, and doing good deeds. Actions. Entirely under your control.

she says I got the worse traits in the world

I can think of many gravely bad traits that I'm certain you don't have, which I won't list here. In the end, traits are patterns of action. You control your actions. If you genuinely have a bad trait, you can change it, by changing your actions from this point forward. Even if you have some tendancy towards certain actions, those too change in time.

my mom says I'm boring

Well, you made your stepmother so angry, she lost control of her actions and emotional state and started yelling. That's a bit too strong of a reaction for "boring", I'd say.

my step dad says I'm lazy

Again, you are not any of these things. They are summaries of actions, of behavior. They are not permanent labels that control you. Your actions control them. This is a very important distinction. Even if this were true, "I'm lazy" and "I have not chosen to do actions at a fast enough pace lately" are two very different things. Because one just makes you unhappy and suffer. The other has a cause, and a treatment.

my friends say I need to start being more postive

And why not? By being more positive in intent, thought, speech, and action, you will be happier and suffer less.

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BE POSTIVE ABOUT!

Only you can do that. But if you really want something, I'd say, be positive about the fact you can.

d/l Tim Learys -'How To Operate Your Brain'
its something that really helpled me

An excellent recommendation.

 

[HeavenzAngel]

ok, thank you all. sorry, if I don't say much, Im a quite person, I decided to give GOD another chance.