What do men go through before deciding to propose?

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

P.S. He says quite frequently, "We're having 8, right?" And I always laugh and say, "As long as I have 4, and you have the other 4!" In reality, we plan on 3 at the most.

 

[dallasapple]

P.S. He says quite frequently, "We're having 8, right?" And I always laugh and say, "As long as I have 4, and you have the other 4!" In reality, we plan on 3 at the most.

3 is a good #..

Dallas

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

So I talked briefly with him tonight. Some things, deep thinking,and prayer helped me decide. I just sat down and told him that I desire to respect his request to wait for him to bring up a discussion about his feelings, but that for the health of our relationship, there are some things I want to talk with him about soon. And I told him "soon" doesn't mean in a couple months- more like a week or two. And I said if he doesn't initiate talking, then I would. I added that I love him and want him like nothing else in this whole world. He looked a bit surprised but kept nodding and said he understood. We've got a few good friends aware of our situation and praying, which I'm so thankful for. I guess we'll just wait and see what happens.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Update:

We talked this past Friday night. It went very, very well. I can't say thanks to God enough that now Jon and I are on the same page. He told me a lot of what he'd been doing was simply overthinking, and therefore coming up with reasons to not be ready. But he said, ultimately, there's no reason anymore to not be ready. I told him that I myself have had moments where I wonder if I'm prepared for marriage, if I'm REALLY READY to tackle everything, and he said hearing me say that helped and eased his mind a lot. So I truly believe we are on the path to engagement now, and hopefully that isn't too far off! He told me I was welcome to email him links to rings. I take that as a good indication!

This doesn't cover everything, of course, since we talked for well over an hour, but I did want to post an update. Thanks for all who have offered advice and said prayers!

 

[ivnmetal]

I know this post is very old, but I was interested on how the original poster (OP) and her bf/husband, have been doing?

 

[Dave-W]

I know this post is very old, but I was interested on how the original poster (OP) and her bf/husband, have been doing?

Zombie thread - big time. "somethingBEAUTIFUL was last seen: May 28, 2013 "

Almost 2 years after posting this thread she wrote this:

I really appreciate your replies. I am not second guessing the break up between my ex and me. I've just heard so many people ( friends, coworkers ) talking about the "you just know" feeling. Some married within months of meeting their husbands and have great, fruitful marriages. Others say that peace is nonexistent, that it takes a very long time to know someone and if you're compatible.

I was trying to get different perspectives on the subject.

So I do not think they went thru with the wedding.

 

[ivnmetal]

Zombie thread - big time. "somethingBEAUTIFUL was last seen: May 28, 2013 "

Almost 2 years after posting this thread she wrote this:


So I do not think they went thru with the wedding.

Aww man /:

 

[Dave-W]

Aww man /:

Yeah. From her profile I found this thread and post dated Apr 17, 2013:

Well, we are done. He did the "Facebook breakup". Didn't hear from him at all last night or today.

I believe it is for the best.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I can't speak for all men but I didn't experience much doubt or struggle over proposing and getting married. In fact, it was one of the easiest decisions I've ever made, which I credit solely to the Lord for His peace and guidance. You have to be on the same page and if you're dating someone for years without any serious commitment then that's a big red flag.

 

[SirKenin]

I would like to know what men go through before they decide to propose.

About three months salary.

As far as not proposing... Who knows? My guess is that he may be wondering why he'd want to give up the wonderful life of a single man, a stallion, to become a donkey in a marriage. Alternatively he may be wondering if you're the best he can do. Maybe commitment isn't his thing?

And maybe all we can do is make stuff up until he's here and we can ask him.

You might want to "up the ante". Start seeing other men even. He's not yours (and vice versa) until he puts a ring on it. Play the field. Get really proficient at having short term, fun relationships and developing your lists of "musts" and "must nots".

Another question might be why are you hanging on? There are so many good, eligible men out there. I know quite a few single men that would make excellent husbands. That would be worth taking a good hard look at too.



EDIT: Never mind. I just realized how old this thread is. I'll leave the post here in case someone else finds value in it.