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What de-conversion feels like

Eudaimonist

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talitha said:
Believe it or not, Christians are required to be responsible too *gasp*!

I thought that Christians are only morally required to be obedient (to God), not responsible as such. At least, this is the way some Christians express their moral concepts.
 
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UnhandledException

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HappyBackslider said:
Well put Roark and I can echo your experience. I don't want to sound disrespectful to the believers here, but the day I left Christianity was for me the day I grew up and took responsibility for my own life. I no longer had to deal with this irrational and judgmental supposedly supernatural entity and continually wonder what his will was or wasn't.
...
...

You were religious but you were never truly saved. You need to have a One-on-one relationship with the One True God, Jesus Christ. You can't just go to church and say, "I'm a Christian."

Don't feel bad though. There are lots of people like you.
 
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StainedClassKing

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talitha said:
Actually, I did explain it somewhat, in my own deconversion/reconversion post (#15 on this thread, here's a link - http://www.christianforums.com/t2353995-what-de-conversion-feels-like.html&page=2). I know now that when I had that feeling of "freedom" that was described in the quote on the OP, I was deceived, much as Adam was in the Garden of Eden story. People who go through this "deconversion" are somewhat like some teenagers who are given their own sportscar. I know I was. It's like HA! I can do anything I want now! In the story of the fall, the serpent (the deceiver) says to Eve, "You certainly won't die! God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened. You'll be like God, knowing good and evil." And Eve looked at the fruit, judging it with her own eyes and her own mind for the first time, and she "saw that the tree had fruit that was good to eat, nice to look at, and desirable for making someone wise." So she took some of the fruit and ate it. But she didn't understand the whole picture until afterward. Much like that, we often don't understand until later, and the deceiver then tries to convince us that it's too late for us, now we can never go back..... just as big a lie as the first one......

blessings in Christ
tal

First of all, I don't take the book of Genesis to have actually have happened and I neither respect nor even take seriously the belief that it did. Science has show us in no uncertain terms that the book of Genesis is not literally true and there is no debate going on about. That is one reason I said the statement was utterly void of substance.

Secondly, deconversion into atheism never afforded me any of the freedoms that you have talked about in this thread. For example, as an atheist, I suffer the same consequences for drug use and other criminal activity as I did as Christian. If I use pot and then need to go in for a random drug test, my job is gone and that fact is in no way dependent upon my belief or lack there of in Christianity.

Thirdly, and I don't mean this as a flame, but from what you have written hear, I see no indication at all that your conversion, either to or from Christianity, had anything at all to do with trying to find out the real truths of the universe in which we live. You talk about freedom and then talk about how you eventually came to miss your faith. But there's no talk about research or logic or whether or not it added up or anything of that nature.
 
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Cat59

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Roark said:
For those who have never experienced de-conversion, it can be difficult to describe what it 'feels' like. I think many Christians assume the de-convert's feeling are like those of a lost person. This is not what I experienced. I think "liberation" is closer to describing the feeling (at least myself) had upon leaving the church.​






I think what some people may experience is not so much a feeling of being lost but of loss. When Christianity, God, Jesus have played a great part in your life then to come to a realisation that they are no more can evoke emotions that may be far greater than the relief and liberation that you describe.
 
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talitha

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StainedClassKing said:
First of all, I don't take the book of Genesis to have actually have happened and I neither respect nor even take seriously the belief that it did. Science has show us in no uncertain terms that the book of Genesis is not literally true and there is no debate going on about. That is one reason I said the statement was utterly void of substance.
What I said stands whether one takes the Garden of Eden story literally or not. If it is not literal, then it is figurative, a lesson. I'm not interested in debating with you whether or not Genesis is literal.

StainedClassKing said:
Secondly, deconversion into atheism never afforded me any of the freedoms that you have talked about in this thread. For example, as an atheist, I suffer the same consequences for drug use and other criminal activity as I did as Christian. If I use pot and then need to go in for a random drug test, my job is gone and that fact is in no way dependent upon my belief or lack there of in Christianity.
When I responded on this thread with my allusion to the Fall, you were not even involved in the conversation. I was responding to people who did experience a sense of freedom.

StainedClassKing said:
Thirdly, and I don't mean this as a flame, but from what you have written hear [sic], I see no indication at all that your conversion, either to or from Christianity, had anything at all to do with trying to find out the real truths of the universe in which we live.
And I don't mean this as a flame, but as a nonbeliever, I don't think you know anything about the real truths of the universe in which we live.

StainedClassKing said:
You talk about freedom and then talk about how you eventually came to miss your faith. But there's no talk about research or logic or whether or not it added up or anything of that nature.
Sorry, I don't believe the human brain is that all-fired important.

blessings in Christ,
tal
 
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LibertyChic

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b*unique said:
strange
this is how i felt when i converted

Yes. I was going to post something along these lines. ;)

My deconversion felt very similar to my conversion, once I got over the initial shock of realizing I didn't believe anymore.
 
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LibertyChic

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talitha said:
Actually, I did explain it somewhat, in my own deconversion/reconversion post (#15 on this thread, here's a link - http://www.christianforums.com/t2353995-what-de-conversion-feels-like.html&page=2). I know now that when I had that feeling of "freedom" that was described in the quote on the OP, I was deceived, much as Adam was in the Garden of Eden story. People who go through this "deconversion" are somewhat like some teenagers who are given their own sportscar. I know I was. It's like HA! I can do anything I want now! In the story of the fall, the serpent (the deceiver) says to Eve, "You certainly won't die! God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened. You'll be like God, knowing good and evil." And Eve looked at the fruit, judging it with her own eyes and her own mind for the first time, and she "saw that the tree had fruit that was good to eat, nice to look at, and desirable for making someone wise." So she took some of the fruit and ate it. But she didn't understand the whole picture until afterward. Much like that, we often don't understand until later, and the deceiver then tries to convince us that it's too late for us, now we can never go back..... just as big a lie as the first one......

blessings in Christ
tal

With all due respect, and at the risk of sounding like many Christians on board here.......You never really deconverted.

;)
 
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LibertyChic

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UnhandledException said:
You were religious but you were never truly saved. You need to have a One-on-one relationship with the One True God, Jesus Christ. You can't just go to church and say, "I'm a Christian."

Don't feel bad though. There are lots of people like you.

And here I was only half-joking with my previous post....

:sigh:
 
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LibertyChic

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Cat59 said:
I think what some people may experience is not so much a feeling of being lost but of loss. When Christianity, God, Jesus have played a great part in your life then to come to a realisation that they are no more can evoke emotions that may be far greater than the relief and liberation that you describe.

Well said! Cat, you really ought to turn your reps on. :)
 
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70judge

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actually there is a huge difference. when i was converted it was because my parents and elders were able to convince me that they were right about christianity as it was with their parents.

when i deconverted it was after years of studying the evidence and thinking things through. it would be almost impossible to go back to believing christianity unless presented with some credible new evidence outside the bible. a questioning mind is the enemy of faith.

.
talitha said:
Actually, I did explain it somewhat, in my own deconversion/reconversion post (#15 on this thread, here's a link - http://www.christianforums.com/t2353995-what-de-conversion-feels-like.html&page=2). I know now that when I had that feeling of "freedom" that was described in the quote on the OP, I was deceived, much as Adam was in the Garden of Eden story. People who go through this "deconversion" are somewhat like some teenagers who are given their own sportscar. I know I was. It's like HA! I can do anything I want now! In the story of the fall, the serpent (the deceiver) says to Eve, "You certainly won't die! God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened. You'll be like God, knowing good and evil." And Eve looked at the fruit, judging it with her own eyes and her own mind for the first time, and she "saw that the tree had fruit that was good to eat, nice to look at, and desirable for making someone wise." So she took some of the fruit and ate it. But she didn't understand the whole picture until afterward. Much like that, we often don't understand until later, and the deceiver then tries to convince us that it's too late for us, now we can never go back..... just as big a lie as the first one......

blessings in Christ
tal
 
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TheListener

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MQTA said:
Then don't.

You can't imagine what you haven't experienced, and if you're afraid to experience anything you're afraid of, it probably won't go well anyway. You seem to fulfill your fears well. You can never get enough of what you don't want.

I happened to read some Wayne Dyer books and didn't know what hit me. Over 12 years now living at peace, happiness, and mostly depression and anxiety-free. Haven't felt lost, purposeless or empty in a long time.

Namaste :)

:groupray:

Well it works well for me because I have no intention of deconverting. I've looked at both sides of the coin, fairly (IMHO), and I think to deconvert it would be a pretty big mistake on my behalf.
 
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TheListener said:
Well it works well for me because I have no intention of deconverting. I've looked at both sides of the coin, fairly (IMHO), and I think to deconvert it would be a pretty big mistake on my behalf.

No one decides or intends on deconverting. It's not really a choice. It simply happens (or doesn't happen) depending on an evaluation of the evidence. If you firmly believe that God exists, then it would indeed be a mistake to deconvert. In fact, I don't believe it would even be possible.
 
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franklin

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Roark said:
For those who have never experienced de-conversion, it can be difficult to describe what it 'feels' like. I think many Christians assume the de-convert's feeling are like those of a lost person. This is not what I experienced. I think "liberation" is closer to describing the feeling (at least myself) had upon leaving the church.



(Robert G. Ingersoll)
When I became convinced that the universe is natural, that all the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell. The dungeon was flooded with light and all the bolts and bars and manacles became dust. I was no longer a servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world, not even in infinite space. I was free--free to think, to express my thoughts--free to live my own ideal, free to live for myself and those I loved, free to use all my faculties, all my senses, free to spread imagination's wings, free to investigate, to guess and dream and hope, free to judge and determine for myself . . . I was free! I stood erect and fearlessly, joyously faced all worlds.




It was a feeling similar to your avatar. ;)

Great quote by Ingersoll btw.
 
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TheListener

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Grizzly said:
No one decides or intends on deconverting. It's not really a choice. It simply happens (or doesn't happen) depending on an evaluation of the evidence. If you firmly believe that God exists, then it would indeed be a mistake to deconvert. In fact, I don't believe it would even be possible.

What evidence is there yet to be seen? What could come along on my journey that will shake my faith?
 
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maladroit

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gwenmead said:
In addition to not really knowing or understanding what deconversion feels like, it sometimes seems like there are a few other general misconceptions floating around.

Like that it doesn't usually happen all at once. My deconversion took several years; it was a process with different stages. This seems to be true for most apostates I've spoken to or read their stories. Deconversion can be like a lightning strike, but often isn't. And I have yet to meet an apostate who gave up all semblance of morality once they deconverted. The only shifts in morality I've seen have been subtle, not dramatic.

I felt a lot of things during my deconversion. Relief, anxiety, joy, worry, a sense of relaxation, a sense of disappointment. Lots of things. Mostly it was just relief, though. The contrast between the quality of my life when I was Christian and the quality of it now is amazing.

actually, my conversion was very subtle and gradual too.

but here's a question for apostates: do you think that maybe this relief could be because you left behind a life of pointless rituals and often supression found in most religion? the reason i ask is because i grew up in a christian home and was a very devout follower of the religion, and i felt extreme joy and relaxation when i truly found the god behind the religion i pointlessly followed.
 
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truthmonger89

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TheListener said:
What could come along on my journey that will shake my faith?

Honesty and intellectual integrity lurk everywhere. Do you have the honesty to admit to yourself that your beliefs might not be true? Do you have the intellectual integrity to honestly consider the obvious possibility that your religion is nothing more than superstitious nonsense perpetuated by fear, ignorance, and peer pressure, just like all those other religions you know to be false?
 
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TheListener

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truthmonger89 said:
Honesty and intellectual integrity lurk everywhere. Do you have the honesty to admit to yourself that your beliefs might not be true?

yes, we've had this discussion a few times before.

truthmonger89 said:
Do you have the intellectual integrity to honestly consider the obvious possibility that your religion is nothing more than superstitious nonsense perpetuated by fear, ignorance, and peer pressure, just like all those other religions you know to be false?

That is your opinion, I could say the same about atheism.
 
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H

HappyBackslider

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maladroit said:
actually, my conversion was very subtle and gradual too.

but here's a question for apostates: do you think that maybe this relief could be because you left behind a life of pointless rituals and often supression found in most religion? the reason i ask is because i grew up in a christian home and was a very devout follower of the religion, and i felt extreme joy and relaxation when i truly found the god behind the religion i pointlessly followed.

In my case I was a member of a very relaxed, charismatic church that had shed nearly all rituals. It was very much a setting where a personal relationship with Jesus was emphasized above anything else. I honestly felt that I 'knew' God and had a 'relationship with Him. But the problem was the mental gymnastics I was constantly trying to perform to make sense of the Bible, the contradictions, inconsistencies, the cruelty in the OT, the dubious origins of the canon, and on and on and on. It gave me a headache trying to keep it all straight!

But the clincher for me was that not only were Christians religious experiences not really any that different from other religions, I saw way more unanswered prayers than answered ones (and the "answered" ones were mostly a product of wishful thinking to be honest). And the changes that I did see in peoples lives can easily be attributed to the general dynamics of the psychology of religion, rather than an external supernatural entity. In terms of changed lives I would hypothesize that Christianity has no more efficacy than any other religion, possibly less in fact (would make for a very interesting study!). So the relief for me was the resolution of the cognitive dissonance in my mind in trying to marry up two opposing world views. In my case the worldview based on facts and empirical evidence won out.
 
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