What being Divorced Taught Me

[rudy3107]

Rudy3107,

You're in my prayers. God has his plan for you. He will show you what that plan is in His time. God Bless.

ThanX cjba, in Advance,

 

[wheels4Christ]

may have saved my marriage

God bless you all.

 

[Jinnapiban]

Thank you E-beth for starting this thread.... I have a couple of lessons I would like to share:

After 3 separations, God showed me that He loves me more than He loved my marriage

My children can and will grow up in a healthly environment and know God is first place in both of their parents' lives

The song that says, "I'm so lonesome I could die" can be very real....

It is quite painful to look deep inside yourself & see who you really are, but it is also amazing to find out how beautiful you are underneath the layers of scar tissue!

My ex and I will always be connected because we are co-parents & some battles just aren't worth trying to win

God did not intend for us to be single parents, but His grace is definitely sufficient!

My children fill my life with so much joy & I tell them that none of it would be possible without their dad

The MOST important lesson is that you must be a whole person prior to marriage or you will never become whole. Two ½ people cannot come together & become 1 whole.... that isn't the plan. Praise be to God for making me whole at last!

jp

 

[wandering_celt]

I can't tell you what divorce has taught me, because I'm not there yet. I can however tell you what 10 months of separation has taught me.

- Going from primary caregiver to seeing your kids every other weekend hurts more than I can describe.
- My "wife" and her "friend" can throw more money at my children than I can, and it does seem to work.
- Being poor again is a bummer.
- Being "married", lonely ( I haven't touched a woman in years ), trying to do the right thing, and knowing that your "wife" is not lonely makes it even harder to take and care about.
- I can have dark, terrible thoughts about someone that I still care about. ( No one panic. I'm not planning things ).
- Most of the time life isn't fair and that isn't going to change.
- The church is very little help if your not an addict or the like. People in the church who have been through divorce and have remarried will run from you after offering condolences.
- I've been subjected to emotional and verbal abuse for years and didn't realize it was going on. After all, she married me and loves me right?
- Words really can hurt. 3w's.gospelcom.net/rbc/ds/cb011/ ( I'm not supossed to post URLs yet, but this is a very good resource. Forgive me. )
- You can do what you believe are all the right things and it just doesn't matter sometimes.
- When you've lost all your friends it is hard to find new ones.
- Typing a message to strangers on a forum can make you feel a little better.

 

[jante]

This is a testimony i recently wrote to explain what I have learnt through marriage and divorce.
Great is thy faithfulness

During the last two weeks this hymn has been sung at the services and has been echoing in my heart while away from church. Nineteen years ago this was the hymn my husband and I sang out our wedding. It has been a constant testimony of God’s goodness through the intervening years. As I sang it this last Sunday I was choking back tears- very mixed tears both of joy and of sorrow. You see three years ago the husband I had promised to love and honour nineteen years before, and whom I stood with and promised before God we would serve Him together, left my children and me. He also walked away from God and all that he had believed.
So my tears were naturally of sorrow that all my hopes and dreams so long ago had disappeared and my life is very different now to what I had expected. August of last year saw my divorce complete something I had always hoped to avert but it wasn’t to be. But also they were of joy as I recognised the truth of the words despite my circumstances of the last three years.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

My circumstances have changed but God goodness to me and His love has never changed. He has held me close throughout.

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

God has truly provided all I have needed, a new home, jobs as I have needed, and rest when my body has been weary. In the last six months He has brought me to a new church home and more recently I have met and started dating a lovely Christian man.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

God has pardoned my sin- both at the time when I became a Christian but also any sin I committed that contributed to my marriage breakup. He has also given me strength each day to get up and carry on being a mum to my three boys. Strength to face work however difficult and strength to get on with my life. He has also given me a bright hope that my future will be brighter, that life will continue, and it will be better. I have many many blessings, and I praise God for each one of them.
I have been asked how I held onto my faith in God during this time, I have to say it was not me holding on to faith in God but The God of Faith holding on to me. He has cradled me in His arms and kept me safe when all around me disintegrated. Now I face the future secure in that love and with a heart full of praise.

Jante

 

[E-beth]

wandering_celt, welcome to the forums!!!

I know most of what you are feeling I felt when I went through it too. SO I understand.

We are all here to help you through it. Just trust me when I say there will be a "morning after" and life will feel good again. Eventually.

I am keeping you in my prayers. PM me or any of us if you ever need to vent.

 

[oldrooster]

I have found one good through all I have been through, God has used this trial in my life to teach me what true forgiveness is. If God has forgiven me for all the things I have done in life, who am i not to forgive my ex. We are now better friends than we ever were and our kids are adjusting to this well. It still has been the hardest experience of my life and I know I would not have made it if the Lord hadent carried me through that valley.

 

[wandering_celt]

Thanks to all for the encouragment. I hope I get to the place where I feel that God is on my side. It's not happening right now.

Hey OldRooster- If you're old at 40, what does that make me? Also, at 45+, am I nuts for thinking about trying a motorcycle? Have I been standing to close to the exhaust pipe or something?

 

[oldrooster]

You will never regret buying a scooter !!!! Remember - you never see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrists office.

 

[wandering_celt]

LOL- Thinking about a Yamaha Virago 250, next year, when my sexy-chick-magnet Dodge Caravan is paid off. Was going to use it for commuting on RT95 to save gas. Now do I need that psychiatrist?

 

[Warrior Poet]

ROFL this must be some kinda male divorce phase, i had the exact same thoughts...still do (but to many people I care about think Ill be dead by 23 if I got a bike) It'll pass then you can drop 2 15"'s in the back, roll on DUBS and drop a 150 shot of NO2 in that caravan....WAM.
a.k.a Death on Wheels


JK JK

Warrior Poet

 

[wandering_celt]

Warrior Poet- Ya lost me after " It'll pass".

BTW- I'm just trying to save bucks on gas and keep that Caravan alive for awhile. A Virago 250 is about $3K and gets 4 times the gas mileage as the "Magnet". I'm a frugal Scot after all!

 

[E-beth]

OOH ya'll gave me an idea for a new thread...

 

[oldrooster]

Wandering Celt - scooters are way great on petrol, I get 225 - 240 miles out of a 5 gallon tank on my harley.

 

[Warrior Poet]

For those of you hiphop-challenged.

2 15"'s- Is two 15 inch subwoofers. (Big/loud speakers)
DUBS- 20 inch rims
150 Shot NO2- I one hundred fifty shot of nitrous oxide. aka Juice.

a.k.a. Death on Wheels-self explanitory

Warrior Poet

 

[wandering_celt]

Oldrooster- Maybe we should start a hobby thread for Scooters

Warrior Poet- Gotcha. There's an anime about Tokyo police who use a Honda "Today" ( a small Civic hatchback ) with a Nox boost to catch the bad guys, it's a lot of fun.
Brakes provided by policewomen's shoes on occassion! Sadly- I'm a bunch of things challenged.

 

[Jinnapiban]

Guys - I definitely learned some new stuff from you.....

Rock on!!! Thanks for the dictionary!

btw - if you ever have any comments/advice on the relationship thing, I would be interested in your perspective....

~wondering if they'll ever come back here????

 

[wandering_celt]

Jinnapiban- But of course. See page 3 please!

 

[Jinnapiban]

Jinnapiban- But of course. See page 3 please!

hmmm, did he mean pg 3 of the dictionary or the thread?

 

[wandering_celt]

Page 3 of the thread of course. About a third of the way down I believe.

And in my defense, I did suggest starting a thread elsewhere for motorcycle talk.