what are you feeling right now? (24)

[teresa]

This is one thing they haven't done yet. The doctors think it is P.T.S.D stress that causes my insomnia, i used to have a lot of nightmares but the last few years they have gone away. It is possible that it is oxygen related for when i have asthma then my sleep always gets very much worse and the anxiety always peaks because shortness of breath relates back to my P.T.S.D trauma.

i can have the test done our daughter Sam had it done. What a drama to try and sleep with all that gear on though, i reckon i wont sleep a wink during the trial nights, just because the way they wire me up. Unbelievable!

Next time i see my doctor i will discuss it with him. Thanks.

You're most welcome!

I was made to take a sleeping pill to ensure that I actually went to sleep, so that they could measure what exactly was happening when I was asleep.

I have ptsd as well, and could not sleep for several hours, until I finally got about 2-3 hours near the end.

they used that to measure whats happening.

Can you just imagine, having lots more energy? I will have another study to see what level of care I need.

After my hip replacement this year and my doctor breaking my leg on accident, I have gotten used to IV's and oxygen tubes and all manner of needle sticks and things all over the place....

I relaxed into God's hands and let go. Never thought I could do it with stuff stuck all over me, but indeed I did.

I've been changed.

God is with me, something new this year, as I've changed through the indwelling of the HS, through my experiences here on CF, and reading all the scripture and prayer every day on this site.

 

[Jeshu]

You're most welcome!

I was made to take a sleeping pill to ensure that I actually went to sleep, so that they could measure what exactly was happening when I was asleep.

I have ptsd as well, and could not sleep for several hours, until I finally got about 2-3 hours near the end.

they used that to measure whats happening.

Can you just imagine, having lots more energy? I will have another study to see what level of care I need.

After my hip replacement this year and my doctor breaking my leg on accident, I have gotten used to IV's and oxygen tubes and all manner of needle sticks and things all over the place....

I relaxed into God's hands and let go. Never thought I could do it with stuff stuck all over me, but indeed I did.

I've been changed.

God is with me, something new this year, as I've changed through the indwelling of the HS, through my experiences here on CF, and reading all the scripture and prayer every day on this site.

So good to hear God has touched you with His Spirit, greatest ever to survive trauma and all kind of other hardships. Jesus is greatest!

Wishing Him a happy birthday even now, even though i know it is only pretend birthday, i still like spending it meditating on Him and His marvelous appearance into my life.

Peace and Merry Christmas

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling the best i have for a more than a week, very happy about that in 3 hours we hope to have a BBQ lunch. The kids are coming i need to be awake to enjoy them to the fullest.

Very thankful i'm feeling good today. such a blessing!

 

[chaoticfirefly]

There's a thread in this part of CF I don't like because it's coming off as anti medication and can be very dangerous. I hope the mods look at it soon.

And I'm sick still.

Merry Christmas everyone! Or in my target language, Crăciun Fericit!!

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Hi. New Age stuff...very “hmm” to me as well...lol! But at the time I thought it was THE way. Raised Catholic but had no use for churches. But I was young, searching and had no family support. Amazing, that being on my own completely at 17 I didn’t drink, use drugs or get in trouble with the law. (I smoked pipes and cigars, though)! I worked and had a savings account. Keeping my nose clean paid off later in life when I joined the military or applied for college or a good job.

Trucking. Yes, I enjoyed the traveling, but it wasn’t like a tourist. I had a job to do but, for instance, I was able to visit friends and family on the company dime that I hadn’t seen in years. If the dispatcher was nice and there was mutual respect, I could ask for a day or so layover before they sent me on to my next load & spend time in my home town with old high school friends or whatever.

And the people. The folks in New Orleans were a different culture than the culture in upper Michigan; Los Angeles different from New Jersey. But I met very few I disliked.

And negotiating rush hour traffic in Chicago felt quite different than setting the cruise control and enjoying a beautiful Arizona desert sunset.

I miss it 75% no and 25% yes, but after 28 years a guy just wants to be home. Been retired 5 years now. I got paid very well on most jobs since I was a specialized hauler dealing with very dangerous material; mostly industrial chemicals that would kill or burn ya. But rather benign stuff, too: candle wax for the Hobby Lobby factory in Oklahoma City and a fragrance Proctor and Gambel added to ther laundry detergent...lol! That was picked up in Wisconsin and delivered to Louisiana. I was doing what I chose to do as a profession, a nice thing these days when so many folks hate their jobs.

Merry Christmas, Firefly!

Why did you think it was the only way? I was raised Lutheran, and got interested in it because I've always been fascinated by stuff like that.

I see! It sounds all like an adventure!

Yeah, I don't blame you. Travel is exhausting.

Merry Christmas Press On! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

 

[Press On]

Why did you think it was the only way? I was raised Lutheran, and got interested in it because I've always been fascinated by stuff like that.

I see! It sounds all like an adventure!

Yeah, I don't blame you. Travel is exhausting.

Merry Christmas Press On! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

I didn’t think it was the ONLY way, but was attracted to it via indoctrination. It made sense in a convoluted way. I began to have genuine out of body experiences and communicated (2 way) with glowing orbs. Saw strange lights in the sky on a regular basis, both day and night, that to this day do not fit any conventional explanation I can come up with; they were just too weird. Sometimes witnesses were present as well. I just took it in stride and it didn’t freak me out. Of course I never spoke of these things except to those who also experienced them.

I visited different churches, but were largely disappointing. I was not an unpleasant kid, perhaps a bit too shy though. My dealings with church folks of various denominations showed me they pretended to be someone else when they were “on”, but quite different when they were really themselves: foulmouthed, dishonest and untrustworthy....no different from their unchurched counterparts. They had nothing I wanted nor was looking for. These were rather wild teenagers, though, and I was an unloved kid without a rudder, though I could take care of myself quite nicely in the world. Only one Lutheran pastor befriended me all this time; gave me my first Bible, a King James, in 1971. I still have it. I tracked him down a couple years ago and thanked him. Of course, he is very old now.

The New Agers, misguided as they were, were very accepting and kind, and seemed to be quite genuine, peaceful people.

I had to discover Christianity on my own, no thanks to anyone except the Lutheran pastor.

 

[gerbilwoman]

I feel for you for what you have to go through. I will pray for you to continue to get better. I honestly can't even imagine living past age 30 at this point in my life and feel sorry that you had to experience such a harsh life for so long.

Asperger's has ruined my life and made me vilified amongst the world. It hurts. If Jesus were to come back today, it's very unsettling that Aspies never got the same protection and accommodation that so many minorities (especially the LGBT) in this part of the world got for their past troubles without Jesus having to do it himself. Some people got more priority over others for literally skin-deep reasons or for the sake of sexual pleasure. You can't offend a black person or a gay person but Aspies are fair game. We can be blamed for abusive relationships, mass shootings, and even for the recession we've been experiencing since 2008. You can use the word 'autistic' as an insult for bad behavior and stupidity. You can abuse an Aspie and pass on the blame onto the victim for being so socially naive. You can kill your autistic child and still have people sympathize with you.

I'm an avid movie watcher. I identify strongly with characters like Koba (Planet of the Apes) and Kuze (Ghost in the Shell, 2017) because they were so different from the dominate demographic, got abused for it, and were used for experiments by uncaring doctors and scientists. Eventually, they end up fighting back and hurting people. I have not reached that point and I pray I never have to. I can understand their hatred and anger. Most people only see antagonists of a fictional story, I see myself in a more advanced setting than my own.

It used to scare me how God will judge me based on how His other creations have judged and created me. Seeing the whole fiasco with Jerusalem right now, I'm expecting Gog/Magog to happen soon and I look forward to be in Jesus's loving arms and gain the love and acceptance I have craved all my life. God does have good things in store for you and I. We just have to be patient.

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are unhappy being autistic. As I think I've said before, I'm autistic too. I've learned to accept myself and hope you can one day too. Autistic people have also done great things for this world. Check out this article, all of these autistic people are famous for a reason:
11 Famous People With Autism

 

[gerbilwoman]

I'm feeling okay, had some weird thoughts yesterday, wished I could rob a bank for no good reason. I never would, wondering if its mania again.

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[Jenniferdiana]

Heartache.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I'm feeling okay, had some weird thoughts yesterday, wished I could rob a bank for no good reason. I never would, wondering if its mania again.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets those kinds of thoughts.

 

[gerbilwoman]

For every great autistic person you hear about, there are millions more who are unemployed, friendless, bullied, persecuted, or even murdered because their parents didn't get the perfect child they always dreamed of having.

I've accomplished more than what was expected of me early on in my life but unfortunately, I live in a town where the disabled are pretty much segregated from anyone who isn't a family member or a social worker. The services I have access to are minimal, I've been a victim of mate crime and I'm usually the one who is to blame for it. I should have known better, right?

Life with autism is not a life worth living in my opinion because my autism is not the gift that everyone says it is. It has brought me nothing but discrimination, mistreatment, and abuse from others to the point where for the longest time I felt that God cared less about me than the average neurotypical. Everyone else believes that neurotypical children are worth more than autistic ones so why would God be any different?

I know God loves me but His other creations don't. It really hurts that life itself seems to be meant to be lived to the fullest for everyone except people like me.

or air hug if you prefer.

 

[gerbilwoman]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets those kinds of thoughts.

Good to know I'm not the only one either.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[Press On]

Guys, I am not doing well. Please pray for me.

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Guys, I am not doing well. Please pray for me.

 

[Press On]

Thank you, my friend.

 

[Jeshu]

Guys, I am not doing well. Please pray for me.

Sad to hear Ron. The Christmas season became too demanding i hope you find some stability back dear brother. Praying for you.

 

[Press On]

Sad to hear Ron. The Christmas season became too demanding i hope you find some stability back dear brother. Praying for you.

Thank you. My mind is going 100 mph right now; I can’t turn it off. Gonna be a long night. Love you guys!