What Am I To Do?! (Salvation and Doubt)

[HannahElizaW]

To whomever reads this: please help me..

I was saved** in August 2014. I spent a lot of that first year worrying if i really was... since I got baptised just a couple weeks ago, I seem to have put things on "cruise control".. like "Oh, I'll do that later.." kind of a resting time when I think i should have been digging deeper.. last Wednesday, when I thought about or thinking I should read my Bible further (in Exodus) I sort of kind of "dozed off". I rested.. whether i fell asleep or just closed my eyes for a while, when I looked at my phone and saw the 3:4(?) I believe it was then that I got up to go get ready.. but i felt rather kind of bad for putting His Word off (again) so I prayed and asked for forgiveness when.. when i started having thoughts like I wasn't saved.. or He's disappointed in me... thoughts like that...

People talk about having a peace of knowing and I can't seem to find mine or find it right now.. I've gotten to the point where I doubt if I was really saved** at that time..

So I look up things thay correlate with my situation and it's like... I know I can't save myself.. I know He died for me.. and that His Blood is what saves me..not works..
yet I have feelings that say otherwise and make me question if I've always believed that.. making my doubt that** a lot..

But all this focus on my salvation... I've put off worshipping Him (or praying to), knowing I should praise Him but... I don't feel it.. I'm more wound in knowing whether I am saved or not..

Spiritual growth is like in an analogy essence... maybe it's like walking towards Him.. and in this situation I feel loke I've taken steps back..

I feel.. I feel carnal.. or bits of kind of anger.. sinfulness tries to take over and.. I feel like He's distant.. His voice seems farther and farther.. which just helps me doubt more so....

Read the Bible. Get into the Bible. Worship Him. Praise Him. He saves you. Read the book Follow Me by David Platt. Get into it. Become a better minister.

When I pray about it.. and I might get that small piece or that little voice of hope... something comes and just... almost... topples it!

My pastor talked about how either when he doubted his salvation in general or when he doubted his salvation at a certain point... you couldn't prove to him he was saved, emotionally.. but he knew.. or he had something that made him know or knew he was(/is)..
I can't seem to find that peace entirely... and when I look.. I look at things that are like works or things of fruit maybe.. but that's not what saves me... I want to have that full peace of knowing that I believe in Him alone for my salvation and that I've repented...

When I think about how I've worried about my salvation and just worrying about this and then that and then thay and then that other thing or so or whatnot.. I... I don't kn-... It's hard to see the belief past the worry but maybe i worried so much that it covers my belief..

I've questioned so much it... it... I..

So.. I look........ I look for assurance. Doubting.. I feel a bit of confliction.. but just setting things aside and saying "I am saved." I feel a bit more calm.. peace maybe.... but then it's like a flick "You can't trust feelings!- - - You're probably not saved then! - - - Prove to me that you're saved!! - - - See? You're not saved.." If i get a peace that I'm saved or was saved in fact back in August.. then something else comes "Did you really believe He was Your Savior?" or "Did you really believe in Him? Or are you just saying that to get by?" Maybe this is a reaping what i sowed with all that worry or fear.. maybe God's putting me or having me go through this (as a) trial.. Maybe... maybe the enemy is doing all of this.. maybe....maybe... maybe...

Even listening to my music.. the impact feels distant.. the songs feel distant.. kind of like they don't even apply to me or that... that i might be too distant to correlate or relate to almost any of them.. He feels distant..

And now.. now.. looking back.. I look at my baptism and when my pastor asked me "You're trusting in Him and Him alone for you salvation" (or something relatively similar) and I nodded and said yes (..i believe..) and I was baptised.. I question if i really meant it.. and and and looking at myself now.. it's like.. here's this bit of truth: He's my Savior and I will follow Him wherever He wants me to go.. or something like that or relatively close or very close to that.. and then cover it with questions... what do you think?... what do i do..?

I turned to my phone to play some music and one of the songs that popped up or played next was 'I Will Rise' by Chris Tomlin and listening to it and onto the next one i felt kind of.... like i was or am a stranger.. does anyone else or has anyone else experienced this?

When I sin I still feel bad.. I know that's not what He wants... but.. mm..

I got angry... and I prayed for forgiveness.. and.. and I'm so..jumbled.. I-... It's.... the-... the problem is is... I.. oh... I need help....

___________________
​

I was walking down the halls when I got thoughts like "I don't wanna / I'm not gonna follow Him." and.. I told myself no.. but then I was reminded of things like people praising through struggles and since I don't always do that that that says something about me.. the stuff that i prayed for before but or yet didn't necessarily or really have are the things that catch me or make me think even more so that I might not be saved..
**I will probably edit this later**

Please help me with this...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I doubt my salvation.. so I run through my head "Do you believe He died for you on the cross?" Yes. "Do you repent of your sins?" Yes. Then you're saved. And then my mind wanders to am I saved now and on or have I been saved since August.. I Dar say i don't feel saved or whatnot but... this is... this is bothering me now again.. I'm sorry.... but please... please help me with this.. "you're over thinking it" was recalled in my mind..

I doubt-..... I'm doubting-...... I've doubted-.....
I don't-... I-... we shouldn't compare ourselves or look to other people... but since my pastor said he has that assurance.. and i can't see or find or maybe overlooking mine.. i must not be-...

 

[Thir7ySev3n]

Your Pastor has it right. Salvation, like every other promise of God, is something you must believe, or, as I'd rather say, something you should know, since the deliverances of the Holy Spirit are the self-disclosure of God Himself, and so constitute knowledge with no further requirement for confirmation. I notice the word "feel" repeated a lot as your premise for disbelief in the security of your salvation. This is partly why I often urge Christian's to approach Christianity with an equally rational investment (in addition to the indisputable apologetic potential this approach has) as our emotional and physical ones. It is interesting to note how God communicates His plan of salvation to us in Isaiah 1:18, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

If you approach the promises of God with a rational perspective rather than merely emotional, there can be no other result than absolute trust, since it is rationally impossible for God to lie, being in His essence perfectly good and incapable of sin. "God is not man, that He should lie, not a son of man, that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill (Numbers 23:19)?"

If you are holding on to past, or even present sins as your reasoning for feeling this way regarding the promises of God, then you simply haven't understood what the purpose of the salvation offered through Christ actually is. Listen to what Paul has to say in confirmation of the matter (as though it were needed): "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor homosexuals, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)." What's most important in your case to remember is the following verse: "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:11, emphasis mine)."

It is certainly important to always be sure that you are producing fruit by the power of the Holy Spirit in your life. But times of stagnation in this produce is not evidence of your lack of salvation. In fact, your constant yearning for certainty that you belong to God is evidence to the contrary. All your doubts will accomplish is the continuation of this stagnation in your walk. We do have an adversary, and yes, God does allow him to interfere in walk with Christ for reasons only God is aware of (like in Job's case). But one thing you can remain sure of is that our LORD has already overcome our adversary; that in Jesus' name we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37) of our enemies in this present life, and that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)." And lastly, "do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed (1 Peter 4:12-13)."

So finally, I urge you again to approach the gospel rationally and affirm what you have every reason to believe apart from your present emotional state. If you affirm these truths in this manner, they will be immutable to you and will never stagnate your walk with Christ or the fruit that you produce through the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit. Remember, part of loving the LORD includes loving Him with all our minds (Matthew 22:37).

 

[SarahsKnight]

To whomever reads this: please help me..

I was saved** in August 2014. I spent a lot of that first year worrying if i really was... since I got baptised just a couple weeks ago, I seem to have put things on "cruise control".. like "Oh, I'll do that later.." kind of a resting time when I think i should have been digging deeper.. last Wednesday, when I thought about or thinking I should read my Bible further (in Exodus) I sort of kind of "dozed off". I rested.. whether i fell asleep or just closed my eyes for a while, when I looked at my phone and saw the 3:4(?) I believe it was then that I got up to go get ready.. but i felt rather kind of bad for putting His Word off (again) so I prayed and asked for forgiveness when.. when i started having thoughts like I wasn't saved.. or He's disappointed in me... thoughts like that...

People talk about having a peace of knowing and I can't seem to find mine or find it right now.. I've gotten to the point where I doubt if I was really saved** at that time..

So I look up things thay correlate with my situation and it's like... I know I can't save myself.. I know He died for me.. and that His Blood is what saves me..not works..
yet I have feelings that say otherwise and make me question if I've always believed that.. making my doubt that** a lot..

But all this focus on my salvation... I've put off worshipping Him (or praying to), knowing I should praise Him but... I don't feel it.. I'm more wound in knowing whether I am saved or not..

Spiritual growth is like in an analogy essence... maybe it's like walking towards Him.. and in this situation I feel loke I've taken steps back..

I feel.. I feel carnal.. or bits of kind of anger.. sinfulness tries to take over and.. I feel like He's distant.. His voice seems farther and farther.. which just helps me doubt more so....

Read the Bible. Get into the Bible. Worship Him. Praise Him. He saves you. Read the book Follow Me by David Platt. Get into it. Become a better minister.

When I pray about it.. and I might get that small piece or that little voice of hope... something comes and just... almost... topples it!

My pastor talked about how either when he doubted his salvation in general or when he doubted his salvation at a certain point... you couldn't prove to him he was saved, emotionally.. but he knew.. or he had something that made him know or knew he was(/is)..
I can't seem to find that peace entirely... and when I look.. I look at things that are like works or things of fruit maybe.. but that's not what saves me... I want to have that full peace of knowing that I believe in Him alone for my salvation and that I've repented...

When I think about how I've worried about my salvation and just worrying about this and then that and then thay and then that other thing or so or whatnot.. I... I don't kn-... It's hard to see the belief past the worry but maybe i worried so much that it covers my belief..

I've questioned so much it... it... I..

So.. I look........ I look for assurance. Doubting.. I feel a bit of confliction.. but just setting things aside and saying "I am saved." I feel a bit more calm.. peace maybe.... but then it's like a flick "You can't trust feelings!- - - You're probably not saved then! - - - Prove to me that you're saved!! - - - See? You're not saved.." If i get a peace that I'm saved or was saved in fact back in August.. then something else comes "Did you really believe He was Your Savior?" or "Did you really believe in Him? Or are you just saying that to get by?" Maybe this is a reaping what i sowed with all that worry or fear.. maybe God's putting me or having me go through this (as a) trial.. Maybe... maybe the enemy is doing all of this.. maybe....maybe... maybe...

Even listening to my music.. the impact feels distant.. the songs feel distant.. kind of like they don't even apply to me or that... that i might be too distant to correlate or relate to almost any of them.. He feels distant..

And now.. now.. looking back.. I look at my baptism and when my pastor asked me "You're trusting in Him and Him alone for you salvation" (or something relatively similar) and I nodded and said yes (..i believe..) and I was baptised.. I question if i really meant it.. and and and looking at myself now.. it's like.. here's this bit of truth: He's my Savior and I will follow Him wherever He wants me to go.. or something like that or relatively close or very close to that.. and then cover it with questions... what do you think?... what do i do..?

I turned to my phone to play some music and one of the songs that popped up or played next was 'I Will Rise' by Chris Tomlin and listening to it and onto the next one i felt kind of.... like i was or am a stranger.. does anyone else or has anyone else experienced this?

When I sin I still feel bad.. I know that's not what He wants... but.. mm..

I got angry... and I prayed for forgiveness.. and.. and I'm so..jumbled.. I-... It's.... the-... the problem is is... I.. oh... I need help....

___________________
​

I was walking down the halls when I got thoughts like "I don't wanna / I'm not gonna follow Him." and.. I told myself no.. but then I was reminded of things like people praising through struggles and since I don't always do that that that says something about me.. the stuff that i prayed for before but or yet didn't necessarily or really have are the things that catch me or make me think even more so that I might not be saved..
**I will probably edit this later**

Please help me with this...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I doubt my salvation.. so I run through my head "Do you believe He died for you on the cross?" Yes. "Do you repent of your sins?" Yes. Then you're saved. And then my mind wanders to am I saved now and on or have I been saved since August.. I Dar say i don't feel saved or whatnot but... this is... this is bothering me now again.. I'm sorry.... but please... please help me with this.. "you're over thinking it" was recalled in my mind..

I doubt-..... I'm doubting-...... I've doubted-.....
I don't-... I-... we shouldn't compare ourselves or look to other people... but since my pastor said he has that assurance.. and i can't see or find or maybe overlooking mine.. i must not be-...

Hannah, it would appear that your fears and doubts are returning in heavy force again. After reading your post, all I feel I can tell you here is to recall my advice to you through our private conversations before, a few months ago. I know it isn't easy to not let them cause you worry or doubt, but you must try your best to not let the bad thoughts get to you. You are worried too much about your salvation, the veracity of your belief in Christ, so that it makes you also feel your work for Him is stagnate, thus making you worry that you are not producing the fruit necessary to verify your salvation status, and so forth think sometimes that you must not be a true believer, and so on through the vicious cycle. At this point Hannah I fear there is little more I can say, but I want you to know that I have not forgotten about you even when I thought you were getting better the last few months. I am still praying God helps you through this.

 

[Celticroots]

Do you have OCD? I think in one of your posts you mentioned you did. I too have OCD and have struggled with the exact same worry/fear. Asking for reassurance doesn't help in the long run because the doubts will just pop again, leading to more reassurance, etc.

I don't have any advice but agree with what others have said.

 

[Gary the Kid]

Just go to Mark 15:38 and "Go in". Then you don't have to worry about all the other stuff. It sort of like a shortcut to the Father in Heaven...........I had the same feelings but when I saw the door was wide open, I just went through it and never looked back.........For me it is finished.............So did I lose my Salvation.........who cares, I am already in........

 

[Take Heart]

Faith does not require proof : )
It is all about trust ♥
And I gather that you've already confessed with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour and that you absolutely /believe/ in your heart and mind that He is Who He says He is and that you /believe/ in your heart and mind that what He did for you on the cross is powerful enough to save a sinner like you and me and that you continually confess and repent [turn away from] your sins. I say 'continually' because we all sin..and most do on a daily basis including me. Do we want to sin? No. Sometimes others willingly and knowingly do. But in order to restore that fellowship with Him again, we need to confess our sins..lay it all before Him, and ask Him to forgive us, to have faith that His blood is enough to cover ALL of our sins [which it does], and to strive to pursue Him instead of remaining in our old ways and sins. That's grace. He willingly gives us grace through Jesus Christ. But that isn't a licence for us to keep on sinning. But.. He understands as well that we can never be perfect and sinless on our own. It's a daily fight. Everyday is a fight for what's right. His mercies are new every morning. Have you ever been on a plane or on a roller coaster/theme park ride? If you have, you've probably had some amount of faith in the pilot of the plane and/or in the operator of the ride. You /trusted/ and /believed/ that you were going to land safely after that flight. You may have been a little scared or worried ..but you had faith and trust that it was going to be alright and that your life was in the good hands of the pilot. The same with God ♥

 

[Take Heart]

Hebrews 11:1-40

please have a read about faith in these above verses [by the link above] and the rewards that God gave famous people we've read/heard about in the Bible for their faith in Him. ♥

 

[Matthew Twentyfour]

To whomever reads this: please help me..

I was saved** in August 2014. I spent a lot of that first year worrying if i really was... since I got baptised just a couple weeks ago, I seem to have put things on "cruise control".. like "Oh, I'll do that later.." kind of a resting time when I think i should have been digging deeper.. last Wednesday, when I thought about or thinking I should read my Bible further (in Exodus) I sort of kind of "dozed off". I rested.. whether i fell asleep or just closed my eyes for a while, when I looked at my phone and saw the 3:4(?) I believe it was then that I got up to go get ready.. but i felt rather kind of bad for putting His Word off (again) so I prayed and asked for forgiveness when.. when i started having thoughts like I wasn't saved.. or He's disappointed in me... thoughts like that...

People talk about having a peace of knowing and I can't seem to find mine or find it right now.. I've gotten to the point where I doubt if I was really saved** at that time..

So I look up things thay correlate with my situation and it's like... I know I can't save myself.. I know He died for me.. and that His Blood is what saves me..not works..
yet I have feelings that say otherwise and make me question if I've always believed that.. making my doubt that** a lot..

But all this focus on my salvation... I've put off worshipping Him (or praying to), knowing I should praise Him but... I don't feel it.. I'm more wound in knowing whether I am saved or not..

Spiritual growth is like in an analogy essence... maybe it's like walking towards Him.. and in this situation I feel loke I've taken steps back..

I feel.. I feel carnal.. or bits of kind of anger.. sinfulness tries to take over and.. I feel like He's distant.. His voice seems farther and farther.. which just helps me doubt more so....

Read the Bible. Get into the Bible. Worship Him. Praise Him. He saves you. Read the book Follow Me by David Platt. Get into it. Become a better minister.

When I pray about it.. and I might get that small piece or that little voice of hope... something comes and just... almost... topples it!

My pastor talked about how either when he doubted his salvation in general or when he doubted his salvation at a certain point... you couldn't prove to him he was saved, emotionally.. but he knew.. or he had something that made him know or knew he was(/is)..
I can't seem to find that peace entirely... and when I look.. I look at things that are like works or things of fruit maybe.. but that's not what saves me... I want to have that full peace of knowing that I believe in Him alone for my salvation and that I've repented...

When I think about how I've worried about my salvation and just worrying about this and then that and then thay and then that other thing or so or whatnot.. I... I don't kn-... It's hard to see the belief past the worry but maybe i worried so much that it covers my belief..

I've questioned so much it... it... I..

So.. I look........ I look for assurance. Doubting.. I feel a bit of confliction.. but just setting things aside and saying "I am saved." I feel a bit more calm.. peace maybe.... but then it's like a flick "You can't trust feelings!- - - You're probably not saved then! - - - Prove to me that you're saved!! - - - See? You're not saved.." If i get a peace that I'm saved or was saved in fact back in August.. then something else comes "Did you really believe He was Your Savior?" or "Did you really believe in Him? Or are you just saying that to get by?" Maybe this is a reaping what i sowed with all that worry or fear.. maybe God's putting me or having me go through this (as a) trial.. Maybe... maybe the enemy is doing all of this.. maybe....maybe... maybe...

Even listening to my music.. the impact feels distant.. the songs feel distant.. kind of like they don't even apply to me or that... that i might be too distant to correlate or relate to almost any of them.. He feels distant..

And now.. now.. looking back.. I look at my baptism and when my pastor asked me "You're trusting in Him and Him alone for you salvation" (or something relatively similar) and I nodded and said yes (..i believe..) and I was baptised.. I question if i really meant it.. and and and looking at myself now.. it's like.. here's this bit of truth: He's my Savior and I will follow Him wherever He wants me to go.. or something like that or relatively close or very close to that.. and then cover it with questions... what do you think?... what do i do..?

I turned to my phone to play some music and one of the songs that popped up or played next was 'I Will Rise' by Chris Tomlin and listening to it and onto the next one i felt kind of.... like i was or am a stranger.. does anyone else or has anyone else experienced this?

When I sin I still feel bad.. I know that's not what He wants... but.. mm..

I got angry... and I prayed for forgiveness.. and.. and I'm so..jumbled.. I-... It's.... the-... the problem is is... I.. oh... I need help....

___________________
​

I was walking down the halls when I got thoughts like "I don't wanna / I'm not gonna follow Him." and.. I told myself no.. but then I was reminded of things like people praising through struggles and since I don't always do that that that says something about me.. the stuff that i prayed for before but or yet didn't necessarily or really have are the things that catch me or make me think even more so that I might not be saved..
**I will probably edit this later**

Please help me with this...

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I doubt my salvation.. so I run through my head "Do you believe He died for you on the cross?" Yes. "Do you repent of your sins?" Yes. Then you're saved. And then my mind wanders to am I saved now and on or have I been saved since August.. I Dar say i don't feel saved or whatnot but... this is... this is bothering me now again.. I'm sorry.... but please... please help me with this.. "you're over thinking it" was recalled in my mind..

I doubt-..... I'm doubting-...... I've doubted-.....
I don't-... I-... we shouldn't compare ourselves or look to other people... but since my pastor said he has that assurance.. and i can't see or find or maybe overlooking mine.. i must not be-...

It's because you haven't made much progression to grow in your walk. You're spiritually idle and stranded. If you compare it to a baseball game. You went to bat, gone unto 1st base and been stuck there ever since. You still have 2nd and 3rd bases to go before touching home plate. Being save is a journey involving a relationship. But it's not growing.






.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

Rom 12:1-2 KJV
(1) I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
(2) And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

you're simply in the transformation process; as you strive to shift your focus from your performance and feelings (yourself) to God's grace to you and His word (Him), you'll become able to control your emotions, rather than be controlled by them

 

[sunshine456]

The "Our father in heaven" prayer is essential to every part of a true believers faith. Read and digest the context of it and again as I have stated before....lean not on your own understanding, but on the grace of GOD through his son JESUS.

1 Peter 5:8King James Version (KJV)
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Instilling doubt, unrighteous fear and causing dissension. We must stand steadfast seeking righteousness and be faithful. Knowing that the TRUTH; which is JESUS the son of GOD will set us free.

Deliverance is another aspect of the true believers faith, but we must first learn discernment and only with the TRUTH can we establish or have any formula of understanding of it.

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>