welp, my husband learned a response good lesson about why perceptions do matter.

[akmom]

Who wrote the affidavit? Mom or daughter?

 

[akmom]

If Mom wrote the affidavit, it is probably not false testimony. (Even if it were a false allegation.). She is simply testifying to what she found, and what she believes happened. She is in no way responsible for independently confirming whether it's true. That's what the investigators do. Nor is the niece responsible for "supplying" the false information, if she only supplied it in the form of a private diary intended for her eyes only. And not intended to mislead detectives.

If Niece wrote the affidavit, I must ask, why? Because her mom made her? Because she is retaliating against your husband for not running away with her? I mean it makes no sense if she is obsessed with him for her to attempt to send him to jail.

 

[lambkisses]

If Mom wrote the affidavit, it is probably not false testimony. (Even if it were a false allegation.). She is simply testifying to what she found, and what she believes happened. She is in no way responsible for independently confirming whether it's true. That's what the investigators do. Nor is the niece responsible for "supplying" the false information, if she only supplied it in the form of a private diary intended for her eyes only. And not intended to mislead detectives.

If Niece wrote the affidavit, I must ask, why? Because her mom made her? Because she is retaliating against your husband for not running away with her? I mean it makes no sense if she is obsessed with him for her to attempt to send him to jail.

Written and signed by daughter

 

[akmom]

And you have no idea why?

 

[lambkisses]

And you have no idea why?

I have not spoken to her since the incident. I do think it could have been mom compelling her to do it but I honestly don't know.

 

[akmom]

Then by all means, hang her! That's the best thing to do when you have no idea what is going on. That's how you become a champion of justice.

 

[Odetta]

Honestly, I think you're taking your anger at your husband out on a severely messed up kid. She needs help, your husband needs to stop being a jerk, and you need to figure out what issues you have that made him attractive to you in the first place. I have perused your posts and I don't really think you've got things figured out for yourself. You need to focus on you, and stop wanting to tear into a disturbed kid because you're unhappy with your own life.

I do suspect she's been sexually assaulted and has chosen to deal with it by making up more palatable fantasies. This is a rather common reaction to sexual trauma, particularly when it happens at a young age. Promiscuity is also common. She needs a doctor and therapy, not a lawsuit or criminal charges or to be enabled into continuing destructive behavior (ie, paying for secret abortions or being thrown out of the house). If you were more at peace with your own life, perhaps you would have room for more compassion.

Not that I think you and your husband are the ones that need to step in with help; you two definitely need to keep your distance. But vengeance isn't right either.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Honestly, I think you're taking your anger at your husband out on a severely messed up kid. She needs help, your husband needs to stop being a jerk, and you need to figure out what issues you have that made him attractive to you in the first place. I have perused your posts and I don't really think you've got things figured out for yourself. You need to focus on you, and stop wanting to tear into a disturbed kid because you're unhappy with your own life.

I do suspect she's been sexually assaulted and has chosen to deal with it by making up more palatable fantasies. This is a rather common reaction to sexual trauma, particularly when it happens at a young age. Promiscuity is also common. She needs a doctor and therapy, not a lawsuit or criminal charges or to be enabled into continuing destructive behavior (ie, paying for secret abortions or being thrown out of the house). If you were more at peace with your own life, perhaps you would have room for more compassion.

Not that I think you and your husband are the ones that need to step in with help; you two definitely need to keep your distance. But vengeance isn't right either.

I think of three things here:

1) The need for a lot of prayer.

2) The need for a lot of humility.

3) The need for help for the young person concerned.

3) The need to move on, as far as possible.

 

[lambkisses]

Honestly, I think you're taking your anger at your husband out on a severely messed up kid. She needs help, your husband needs to stop being a jerk, and you need to figure out what issues you have that made him attractive to you in the first place. I have perused your posts and I don't really think you've got things figured out for yourself. You need to focus on you, and stop wanting to tear into a disturbed kid because you're unhappy with your own life.

I do suspect she's been sexually assaulted and has chosen to deal with it by making up more palatable fantasies. This is a rather common reaction to sexual trauma, particularly when it happens at a young age. Promiscuity is also common. She needs a doctor and therapy, not a lawsuit or criminal charges or to be enabled into continuing destructive behavior (ie, paying for secret abortions or being thrown out of the house). If you were more at peace with your own life, perhaps you would have room for more compassion.

Not that I think you and your husband are the ones that need to step in with help; you two definitely need to keep your distance. But vengeance isn't right either.

You may be right about not persueing the criminal justice issue since my husband doesn't seem interested in going after my niece I suppose I shouldn't be. Honestly, my husband and I are in a BDSM relationship where I am submissive. Before people judge, I would like to say that this is a choice and submission is a gift which must be freely given and can be either rescinded by the give or refused by the recipient at any time. This worked out great for us until I started realizing certain actions of my husband were not in line with what I am comfortable morally. Basically it is much easier to be a submissive pet wife when I am not grappling with the potentially unethical behavior of my dominant.

 

[Avniel]

You may be right about not persueing the criminal justice issue since my husband doesn't seem interested in going after my niece I suppose I shouldn't be. Honestly, my husband and I are in a BDSM relationship where I am submissive. Before people judge, I would like to say that this is a choice and submission is a gift which must be freely given and can be either rescinded by the give or refused by the recipient at any time. This worked out great for us until I started realizing certain actions of my husband were not in line with what I am comfortable morally. Basically it is much easier to be a submissive pet wife when I am not grappling with the potentially unethical behavior of my dominant.

BDSM....rebellious husband.....sexually assaulted niece.....secrete abortions.....

 

[lambkisses]

BDSM....rebellious husband.....sexually assaulted niece.....secrete abortions.....

There is nothing inherently "unchristian" about a BDSM relationship. We are monogamous and married before the eyes on the law and God so there shouldn't be anything particularly unchristian about how we enjoy our intimacy.
About the other things, yes they are bad. However we are really not sure if she was assaulted at all by anyone, that has just been speculation. Clearly she was sexually active before turning 18 (she had a boyfriend whom to issue took the face that "his" child was aborted)so for all we know her issues could stem from having a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ty boyfriend.

 

[Poppyseed78]

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I would be considering divorce. You married your husband under false pretenses. He led you to believe he shared your beliefs, but now it is coming to light that he rejected his faith. Then, he betrayed you by going behind your back with regard to the abortion, and he committed some other illegal acts. On top of all this, there are sexual abuse allegations, and you may or may not ever find out the truth.

All this drama has occurred within two years of marriage, correct? How can you trust him for the next 50+ years?

 

[faroukfarouk]

There is nothing inherently "unchristian" about a BDSM relationship. We are monogamous and married before the eyes on the law and God so there shouldn't be anything particularly unchristian about how we enjoy our intimacy.

Well, I don't jump to conclusions about it. Although I don't like the idea of inflicting pain; but maybe this is not what you mean.

 

[lambkisses]

Well, I don't jump to conclusions about it. Although I don't like the idea of inflicting pain; but maybe this is not what you mean.

Pain, when inflicted correctly can heighten an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to indescribable levels. I am into pain, humiliation, and feederism. These are sexual fetishes which I enjoy with my husband. I don't believe any of these things are specifically prohibited by scripture.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Pain, when inflicted correctly can heighten an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to indescribable levels. I am into pain, humiliation, and feederism. These are sexual fetishes which I enjoy with my husband. I don't believe any of these things are specifically prohibited by scripture.

Oh okay; I wasn't familiar with all of the terms you use.

It's anyway clear that the couple in view in Song of Solomon had a strongly affectionate and loving relationship.

 

[Poppyseed78]

edited

 

[SgtBen]

From a law enforcement perspective, what your niece did by writing all that could have had some very serious consequences. Your husband was incredibly lucky not to land in prison and then be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.

This niece does need help, and she needs to understand that she could have ruined 2 innocent lives by fantasizing about that kind of unhealthy relationship with her uncle. So many times the female is taken at her word when it comes to this kind of thing and it's very hard to prove it one way or another when there is no physical evidence to support her case.

I hope she gets some help before she starts fantasizing about someone else. He may not be so lucky.

 

[lambkisses]

From a law enforcement perspective, what your niece did by writing all that could have had some very serious consequences. Your husband was incredibly lucky not to land in prison and then be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.

This niece does need help, and she needs to understand that she could have ruined 2 innocent lives by fantasizing about that kind of unhealthy relationship with her uncle. So many times the female is taken at her word when it comes to this kind of thing and it's very hard to prove it one way or another when there is no physical evidence to support her case.

I hope she gets some help before she starts fantasizing about someone else. He may not be so lucky.

You are very correct.

 

[akmom]

Is a Christian forum really the place to be touting an obsession which is essentially gluttony, violence, and lust? Regardless of the framework and reasons, it really doesn't sound like the basis for a healthy relationship.

Your string of salacious topics does arouse a suspicion that you are trolling the forum, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If this really is where you are in life, and you're seeking Christian perspectives from these threads, I encourage you to consider this verse when thinking about whether something is pleasing to God:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." -Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

 

[Poppyseed78]

For any concerns about feeder ism, it is not as simple as constantly gorging one's self. Yes weight gain is part of the fetish so is an over stuffed belly but those are not and should not be a constant state. Both for health and asthetic reasons there had to be an active balance in order to avoid obesity and the health implications. When done incorrectly feedees can easily balloon up and look like Rosie Odonald. The regimen I follow involves a lot of exercise and salads when I am not gorging sexually for my husband. Again, OVEREATING IS NOT SOMETING A FEEDEE SHOULD DO EVERY DAY. Also, the regimen changes depending what aspect of the fetish we are enjoying at the time. The two aspects we are comfortable with and really enjoy are belly stuffing, when I am compelled to over eat in one sitting until my belly is bloated ; and fattening, when my husband feeds me a little more thsn normal each day and tracks with weigh ins and measurements. We never do these things at the same time because that is way too much stress on my body. If we are doing belly stuffing we would at most do one session a week and on the off days I exercise and eat salad and other low calorie things. When we are doing fattening (which we do much much more rarely) my weight and measurements are tracked, part of it is the humiliation/objectification aspect but the other part is the health aspect. We make sure that it doesn't happen too quickly. For my looks, I like to stay between a size 10 and 14 and my weight between 140 and 160 this way I am always pleasantly plump with thicker thighs, a soft tummy, large bust and a little bit of pudge on my hips. If I am closer to the heavier side of my comfort zone we DO NOT do fattening and we limit the belly stuffing. If I am at the lower end then we have more options for play. But the main thing is this has to be done carefully. Also when you engage in a fetish like this it is important to take care of your skin and muscle mass too, this is why I constantly am at the gym doing pilates and aerobics and I am constantly at the med spa to keep my skin supple.
Your feeder needs to be mindful of your health too. He needs to make sure he isn't over stressing your body because in the heat of the moment it is very easy to lose perspective and go too far. For me the best way to explore feeder ism is to think about how a kobe beef cow is fattened up. You don't over stress her, you do it carefully and you do it with a lot of control. Feederism if dive incorrectly can be very dangerous and damaging, a good analogy of that is the way geese are force fed to enlarge their livers.
I hope this run down makes sense and helps dispell some prejudices.

Listen, I didn't want to reply because there is so much dysfunction here, and you'll do what you do no matter what. But on the off chance this will help someone, I'm going to say it.

It doesn't matter how much you weigh or what size you are. That's not the point. The point is, some things are wrong even if they aren't specifically declared so in Scripture. Your husband should not be encouraging you to harm yourself. "Belly stuffing" can be dangerous. It's no less dangerous than if your husband encouraged you to starve yourself and not eat at all a couple days a week.

As for the BDSM, how can you expect your husband to inflict pain and humiliation on you in the bedroom, and yet treat you well everywhere else? It will cross over into other areas of life eventually. How can you hold your husband to a higher moral standard in terms of being honest on your taxes, when he sees nothing wrong with causing you pain? You, as his wife, are the one person on this earth that he should be treating most lovingly. How can you expect him to be honest on his taxes if he doesn't even honor you. BDSM is often just a thin veil over the real truth, which is that the relationship is abusive.

One last thing. It doesn't matter if you consent to the pain and humiliation, and even enjoy it. That doesn't make it right. If you consented to him killing you, would that somehow make it right? This nonsense about pain enhancing [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] - that strikes me as idolatry.

I recommend counseling for you to figure out why you need to be degraded in order to experience sexual satisfaction.