Was I wrong?

[bostonlass]

I was browsing through match.com yesterday and came across a profile that I liked so I winked at him. He wrote me back and gave me his phone number and asked that I call. I wrote him back and discussed a few things we have in common and ignored the call request since I feel uncomfortable talking to someone on the phone so quickly .... I like writing back and forth a bit before jumping into a phonecall.

Anyway he wrote me back and said thank you for the warm email, unfortunately I'm not able to write one back which is why if you're still interested you will call me. I wrote back that I don't call people so soon and that I feel more comfortable writing for a bit more. He sent me an email saying he's not interested.

Was I wrong? Do I have an unfounded fear in calling someone that I don't know so soon?

 

[Breetai]

I was browsing through match.com yesterday and came across a profile that I liked so I winked at him. He wrote me back and gave me his phone number and asked that I call. I wrote him back and discussed a few things we have in common and ignored the call request since I feel uncomfortable talking to someone on the phone so quickly .... I like writing back and forth a bit before jumping into a phonecall.

Anyway he wrote me back and said thank you for the warm email, unfortunately I'm not able to write one back which is why if you're still interested you will call me. I wrote back that I don't call people so soon and that I feel more comfortable writing for a bit more. He sent me an email saying he's not interested.

Was I wrong? Do I have an unfounded fear in calling someone that I don't know so soon?

Did he label himself as a Christian?

I'm guessing that he's more of a player, just looking for a quick and easy fling. He's not interested in playing the flirting game before taking things to the next level.

If you don't feel comfortable doing something, like calling a guy too soon for your comfort level, then never do it. You definetely were not wrong.

 

[Talie]

Umm...if he can't be botherd to write, he's not worth corresponding with - sounds to me like he probably just wants phone sex!

 

[bostonlass]

Umm...if he can't be botherd to write, he's not worth corresponding with - sounds to me like he probably just wants phone sex!

Oh my gosh I NEVER even thought of that!!!

 

[bostonlass]

Did he label himself as a Christian?

I'm guessing that he's more of a player, just looking for a quick and easy fling. He's not interested in playing the flirting game before taking things to the next level.

If you don't feel comfortable doing something, like calling a guy too soon for your comfort level, then never do it. You definetely were not wrong.

Yes, his profile said he was a Christian. I only correspond with Christians anyway but who knows if he was just putting that on there or not. I never even thought of it as a fling thing regarding the phonecall..I was moreso thinking he was like a stalker or something.

Now I'm glad I didn't call!

Thanks!

 

[Talie]

a lot of people call themselves christian, but it doesn't really mean much.....

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Yeah I think you were right not to call - if ANY guy (or girl) is worth it then they will be happy to corresponde (sp???) in any way that makes you comfortable!!! Should all relationships be comfortable?

 

[lady_of_god]

I don't think your wrong. I'm like that too. I'm really protective about giving out my phone number until i feel comfortable about the person i'm talking to. I like to correspond by e-mail for a little while and then i'll exchange numbers.

Some men like to get straight to meeting and talking. Other are just being pushy and have other motives... that sounds like this guy. You did nothing wrong (he should be understanding if he is interested) and I think the e-mail for a little while before phone calls policy is just fine.

-Lady

 

[Sketcher]

Anyway he wrote me back and said thank you for the warm email, unfortunately I'm not able to write one back which is why if you're still interested you will call me. I wrote back that I don't call people so soon and that I feel more comfortable writing for a bit more. He sent me an email saying he's not interested.

He wrote you back saying he can't write?

You did right.

 

[bostonlass]

He wrote you back saying he can't write?

You did right.

I never thought of it that way! lol

 

[OhhJim]

I'm going to disagree a little bit. I personally don't like writing back and forth a few times, I'd rather get to talking on the phone. This guy is probably the same way. I've known some women who never seem to want to meet or talk, they just want an internet relationship. Maybe he thinks that's what you're doing.


I wonder if he's talking to his buddies about you. "I met an interesting woman, but she didn't want to call me." "Well, you're probably better off. Why would someone on match.com not want to talk on the phone?" "Maybe she's really married, and just looking for a thrill." "I never thought of that, I bet you're right!"

 

[bostonlass]

I'm going to disagree a little bit. I personally don't like writing back and forth a few times, I'd rather get to talking on the phone. This guy is probably the same way. I've known some women who never seem to want to meet or talk, they just want an internet relationship. Maybe he thinks that's what you're doing.


I wonder if he's talking to his buddies about you. "I met an interesting woman, but she didn't want to call me." "Well, you're probably better off. Why would someone on match.com not want to talk on the phone?" "Maybe she's really married, and just looking for a thrill." "I never thought of that, I bet you're right!"

But we hadn't even exchanged more than two emails within one day. You'd still say forgetaboutit and not wait another day just to ease the girl's mind?

 

[BeautyForAshes]

I'm going to disagree a little bit. I personally don't like writing back and forth a few times, I'd rather get to talking on the phone. This guy is probably the same way. I've known some women who never seem to want to meet or talk, they just want an internet relationship. Maybe he thinks that's what you're doing.


I wonder if he's talking to his buddies about you. "I met an interesting woman, but she didn't want to call me." "Well, you're probably better off. Why would someone on match.com not want to talk on the phone?" "Maybe she's really married, and just looking for a thrill." "I never thought of that, I bet you're right!"

I see your point Jim, because I hate writing emails (mostly because I do it all day for work) and the last thing I want to do afterhours is write some more. I prefer chatting with someone on the phone. I think its a better way to get to know someone, especially initially.

I do think that this guy could have at least explained the situation a little bit better though, instead of saying "I can't write back" ........as he writes an email back. I would have thought that was strange too

 

[OhhJim]

I do think that this guy could have at least explained the situation a little bit better though, instead of saying "I can't write back" ........as he writes an email back. I would have thought that was strange too

Yeah, that's a little strange. However, he might have meant that he isn't a very expressive writer, and not able to write a WARM email. It's hard to tell from the OP.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I don't think you were wrong, I hate talking on the phone and would also prefer getting to know someone through email first before calling them. If he couldn't understand that then I'd dare say you two were probably imcompatible in other areas as well.

 

[bostonlass]

Oh well. Water under the dam. (or is it water over the dam? )

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Oh well. Water under the dam. (or is it water over the dam? )

LOL - I thought it was "water over the bridge" myself.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

lol...here I was thinking it was "water under the bridge!"

 

[bostonlass]

OK...apparently it's


"water under the bridge"

and

"water over the dam"

 

[Tink]

I think you did the right thing.

If he couldn't email you back, he wouldn't have responded. If he doesn't like email, why in the world is he posted on the internet?? :what:

In His love,
Tink