Was I wrong to be annoyed?

[jayem]

So yesterday, my wife gives me a list of 5 items we need from the grocery store. I'm thinking, OK, Super Sunday. The stores are gonna be packed. I'm prepared--somewhat--to wait in line.

I see one of the self-checkout scanners is down, and about 7-8 people are waiting in line to use the other 3. But it's moving pretty well. I get my stuff, and I take my place.

An elderly couple have just moved up to a scanner. Already, they seem to have a few more items in their cart than they should (dont' you hate that?) But no big deal. HOWEVER--with them is an adult woman who obviously has Down's Syndrome. AND--they're letting her try to use the scanner. She's making mistakes and touching the wrong screen icons. Something gets so screwed up, at one point the attendant has to void the entries and they have to start all over. So all of us in line are now waiting for only two scanners. It's obvious that everyone is getting really p.o.'d, but these people are oblivious. They held up that scanner for a good 10 minutes.

I'm all for accommodating people with disabilities, but there is a time and place for helping the mentally challenged. And on a busy shopping day, with other customers waiting, this was not it. This was totally inappropriate.

Am I wrong?

 

[godanswers]

I think the Lord may have been trying to show you something about our culture. That family probably didn't even know it was Super Bowl Sunday yesterday. I'll also wager that they get stared at and huffed at more than we'd care to witness. I'm sure they knew the "trouble" they were causing just like they know life with a mentally handicapped person causes "trouble" for them all the time.

The real problem is within you and me and our hurry-up society. When we find ourselves getting mad at an elderly couple (people we should be giving more respect to because of their age) and a person with down's syndrome (a challenge that waiting in line can't even compare to) we should pause and examine our hearts. If you are saying, "these people should be more aware of their surroundings," you are really wanting them to be more aware of your needs and the needs of the people who HATE being in supermarkets.

But if we have Jesus Christ all our needs are fulfilled and we don't have to be in such a God-awful hurry all the time. Yeah, I think you were wrong to feel that way. But Lord knows I've felt the same. This is when we repent and ask God to soften our hearts and help change our priorities to His.

 

[God-free]

I'm all for accommodating people with disabilities, but there is a time and place for helping the mentally challenged. And on a busy shopping day, with other customers waiting, this was not it. This was totally inappropriate.

Am I wrong?

No, you're not wrong. There's nothing wrong in feeling anger. It's how you handle it that matters.

~Barbara

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I often face long lines at the grocery store, even when it's not Superbowl Sunday. When I start to get a little mad, I remind myself that there are other things worth being mad over.

Twice now a longer wait at a checkout has actually quite possibly saved my life. In both instances had I been on the road sooner I probably would've been involved in major multi-car accidents.

I guess my question to you would be, when is the appropriate time for helping physically or mentally challenged people? Generally, I think it's fair to say that helping these people will almost always be an inconvenience to someone else.

As another poster already mentioned, I'm betting they didn't even realize it was Superbowl Sunday. I personally would not have done what they did - I have kids and I often will let my 3 year old "help" when there's no one else in line - but did it really inconvenience you that much?

I do understand being ticked off...as I've been there before.

 

[Jane_the_Bane]

You know, if I had been THAT annoyed by the delay, I probably would have approached the elderly couple and asked them respectfully whether they'd be so kind as to check in their stuff themselves for once, seeing how the whole shop was packed with customers and so forth.
Or else, I'd've contemplated my anger and used it to reflect upon my person. I've experienced similar situations (sans handicapped persons), and in the end, I mostly ended up with a smile on my face, having gotten rid of the mental stress that put me on edge in the first place.

But that's neither here nor there: to answer your question - no, it isn't wrong to get angry under such circumstances. Nor are you obliged to feel differently about a disabled person than about any other human being. Sure, you can't hold them up to the same standards as far as their mental and/or physical faculties are concerned, but apart from that, I think people should treat them as normally as possible.

 

[wanderingone]

No, you're not wrong. There's nothing wrong in feeling anger. It's how you handle it that matters.

~Barbara

I'm with Barbara, all kinds of things can tweak a last nerve, and the self service line sets mine on edge every time I try to use it, so I avoid it. There's always something screwing it up, I've opted not to agitate myself over people who don't quite "get" how it works and grab a spot on a regular non express line - my trips to the grocery store are so much less stressful that way.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I'm with Barbara, all kinds of things can tweak a last nerve, and the self service line sets mine on edge every time I try to use it, so I avoid it. There's always something screwing it up, I've opted not to agitate myself over people who don't quite "get" how it works and grab a spot on a regular non express line - my trips to the grocery store are so much less stressful that way.

Lately around here it's been a matter of a store having 32 checkouts and only having two manned by cashiers and the rest are the self-checkouts (like maybe 4). Couple this with it being 5:30pm during rush hour and you've got a recipe for disaster.

There are people who just get downright nasty about it, and I have to wonder...what must other areas of their life be like if they get that upset over having to wait a bit in line. That's another reason I try to keep my emotions in check while waiting in line.

Oh, and we've learned to NEVER take our babies to the store on busy days.

 

[suzybeezy]

I think in this situation you were probably frustrated with your wife for sending you to the store on Super Bowl Sunday and then frustrated with the store for not having more lanes available and probably a little frustrated with the crowds of people. I think you were already frustrated when then you were faced with this family. But this outting for this family may have been an "event" for them, just like the Super Bowl was for the rest of us. Why should they have to rush? In perspective, what are we all rushing for anyway? As you mentioned these are elderly parents who have a Down Syndrome child, they were probably trying to teach her a life skill that she will need to be independent when they are not there. Its about perspective - which was more important, your rush to get out of the store or their child learning a life skill?

I was in the store earlier in the week, when the weather was predicting snow - everyone runs to the store for milk and bread. Anyway, the aisles were packed and there was a man, who actually works at the store, who has some form of mental disability and has very very bad vision issues. His buggy was blocking the aisle as he was struggling to read a label. No one would excuse themselves around him, they just huffed and shot dirty looks at him. I was appauled. Rather then getting frustrated, I took a few quick moments and offered to help him. I helped him read the label, he put the item in his buggy and off he went. Ta-dah - the lane was then open.

Maybe instead of getting frustrated, it takes less time and energy to just offer to help.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

That reminds me...I went shopping last month and used the self-checkout lanes with no item limit, as I often do. I was alone this time, and had a cart full of groceries. I tend to speed through these checkouts because I know what to expect and I generally know how to handle the various quirks they present.

The machine was running a little slower than usual and then I had to wait for authorization to buy alcohol (I actually unknowingly broke my own rule of not using the self-checkout lanes when I know I'm buying something that will require authorization) so I was bagging my already checked-out groceries. I heard the guy in line behind me "shoot, doesn't she know these are supposed to be EXPRESS lanes?" and a couple of people sorta chuckled about it. I was gonna ignore it but the lady who came over for the authorization turned to this guy, pointed at the sign and said "just where does it say 'express' up there?" A lot more people chuckled at THAT.

There are people who think that the self-checkout lanes are supposed to be 'quick', and I had one lady who kept apologizing to me that she was taking so long. It would've been no different had she been in a "regular" line, as far as I'm concerned.

I choose to use the self-checkout lanes knowing that probably someone in line ahead of me is going to have some issue...and I generally tend to warn people who get in line behind me that the line will somehow stop moving now that I'm in it. It just seems to be my Heroes ability or something.

 

[godanswers]

Rather then getting frustrated, I took a few quick moments and offered to help him. I helped him read the label, he put the item in his buggy and off he went. Ta-dah - the lane was then open.

Maybe instead of getting frustrated, it takes less time and energy to just offer to help.

You rock. Thanks for telling that story. It's inspiring.
-Diana

 

[b&wpac4]

I think in this situation you were probably frustrated with your wife for sending you to the store on Super Bowl Sunday and then frustrated with the store for not having more lanes available and probably a little frustrated with the crowds of people. I think you were already frustrated when then you were faced with this family. But this outting for this family may have been an "event" for them, just like the Super Bowl was for the rest of us. Why should they have to rush? In perspective, what are we all rushing for anyway? As you mentioned these are elderly parents who have a Down Syndrome child, they were probably trying to teach her a life skill that she will need to be independent when they are not there. Its about perspective - which was more important, your rush to get out of the store or their child learning a life skill?

I was in the store earlier in the week, when the weather was predicting snow - everyone runs to the store for milk and bread. Anyway, the aisles were packed and there was a man, who actually works at the store, who has some form of mental disability and has very very bad vision issues. His buggy was blocking the aisle as he was struggling to read a label. No one would excuse themselves around him, they just huffed and shot dirty looks at him. I was appauled. Rather then getting frustrated, I took a few quick moments and offered to help him. I helped him read the label, he put the item in his buggy and off he went. Ta-dah - the lane was then open.

Maybe instead of getting frustrated, it takes less time and energy to just offer to help.

Doing good deeds like that are a blessing to the community.

 

[wanderingone]

Lately around here it's been a matter of a store having 32 checkouts and only having two manned by cashiers and the rest are the self-checkouts (like maybe 4). Couple this with it being 5:30pm during rush hour and you've got a recipe for disaster.

There are people who just get downright nasty about it, and I have to wonder...what must other areas of their life be like if they get that upset over having to wait a bit in line. That's another reason I try to keep my emotions in check while waiting in line.

Oh, and we've learned to NEVER take our babies to the store on busy days.

We're down a lot of cashiers lately in my area too, stores are cutting back in this economy. I agree, people get really nasty about lines.. it really does make me wonder what limited control they have in the rest of their lives to feel so stressed over something like grocery shopping

for the first decade of my adult life I worked evening and night shifts, so I often shopped at 2 in the morning ( a LOVELY time to shop, completely empty store, cashier all to yourself, sure they are unloading trucks and stocking shelves, but when there's only 1 or 2 other customers it's no worries about that)

I have never really adjusted to grocery shopping in the crowd, I've learned not to shop during the busiest times, and no matter what I just pick a regular line, that way when it goes slow it seems quite reasonable, and when it moves fast it's just a pleasant surprise.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

We're down a lot of cashiers lately in my area too, stores are cutting back in this economy. I agree, people get really nasty about lines.. it really does make me wonder what limited control they have in the rest of their lives to feel so stressed over something like grocery shopping

for the first decade of my adult life I worked evening and night shifts, so I often shopped at 2 in the morning ( a LOVELY time to shop, completely empty store, cashier all to yourself, sure they are unloading trucks and stocking shelves, but when there's only 1 or 2 other customers it's no worries about that)

I have never really adjusted to grocery shopping in the crowd, I've learned not to shop during the busiest times, and no matter what I just pick a regular line, that way when it goes slow it seems quite reasonable, and when it moves fast it's just a pleasant surprise.

Back when I was single and had no kids I shopped at 2am. It was a very...interesting...experience to say the least. Even when I had my son, when he was a baby I'd often go grocery shopping at 9 or 10 at night because the lines would be smaller and he usually slept through it.

Now they have those great video carts where, for a buck, the kids can watch videos while I shop. What a godsend that was!!

 

[lawtonfogle]

No, you're not wrong. There's nothing wrong in feeling anger. It's how you handle it that matters.

~Barbara

I disagree. While I wouldn't say it is a moral wrong, as it feeling anger in and of itself is not a wrong, there are cases where I realize I should not feel anger even if I do, regardless of how I handle it. Someone interrupts me to tell me something I asked them to interrupt me to tell me once they found out. I personally thinking getting mad at that is wrong.

And really, I do not think what you do with you anger determines right or wrong. I think it is why you do what you do that determines it.

 

[lawtonfogle]

One should also remember the saying that goes...

It is not the death of a spouse or child that causes one to break, but the snapping of a shoe lace.

There are major stresses that build up, but for some reason they are too large to break us, to make our mind snap, for us to lose social conventions. But these things will build up, and be triggered by the smallest of things. So another thing to remember is that feeling so angry at someone who it doesn't make sense to feel that way means you could be direct anger and stress at someone who does not deserve it.

 

[God-free]

I disagree. While I wouldn't say it is a moral wrong, as it feeling anger in and of itself is not a wrong, there are cases where I realize I should not feel anger even if I do, regardless of how I handle it. Someone interrupts me to tell me something I asked them to interrupt me to tell me once they found out. I personally thinking getting mad at that is wrong.

And really, I do not think what you do with you anger determines right or wrong. I think it is why you do what you do that determines it.

Jayem was angered by the elderly couple choosing that particular day/time to teach a skill to their daughter when a more appropriate time for this could have been planned in advance (such as on a day when the store is least crowded). Anger is an emotion that is provoked, intentionally or not, and is not right or wrong. It happens to everybody. Whether anger is warranted in a particular situation is a different question.

One should also remember the saying that goes...

It is not the death of a spouse or a child that causes one to break, but the snapping of a shoelace.

There are major stresses that build up, but for some reason they are too large to break us, to make our mind snap, for us to lose social conventions. But these things will build up, and be triggered by the smallest of things. So another thing to remember is that feeling so angry at someone who it doesn't make sense to feel that way means you could be direct anger and stress at someone who does not deserve it.

This is why I said that what matters is how one handles their anger.

~Barbara

 

[nhisname]

So yesterday, my wife gives me a list of 5 items we need from the grocery store. I'm thinking, OK, Super Sunday. The stores are gonna be packed. I'm prepared--somewhat--to wait in line.

I see one of the self-checkout scanners is down, and about 7-8 people are waiting in line to use the other 3. But it's moving pretty well. I get my stuff, and I take my place.

An elderly couple have just moved up to a scanner. Already, they seem to have a few more items in their cart than they should (dont' you hate that?) But no big deal. HOWEVER--with them is an adult woman who obviously has Down's Syndrome. AND--they're letting her try to use the scanner. She's making mistakes and touching the wrong screen icons. Something gets so screwed up, at one point the attendant has to void the entries and they have to start all over. So all of us in line are now waiting for only two scanners. It's obvious that everyone is getting really p.o.'d, but these people are oblivious. They held up that scanner for a good 10 minutes.

I'm all for accommodating people with disabilities, but there is a time and place for helping the mentally challenged. And on a busy shopping day, with other customers waiting, this was not it. This was totally inappropriate.

Am I wrong?

Be kind...we all get irritated ....we all get older and that could be us someday, trying to figure out a new fangled machine.

 

[trunks2k]

Something like that would really get annoyed. It wouldn't be so much that I had to wait, but I'd be angry at the disregard for other people. I get very annoyed when people display a lack of awareness of the people around them and cause things to function very inefficiently. I understand the need to try and train the disabled person how to use the machine, but when there's a big line of people behind you, then you should save the lesson for another day.

 

[Garyzenuf]

Twice now a longer wait at a checkout has actually quite possibly saved my life. In both instances had I been on the road sooner I probably would've been involved in major multi-car accidents..

Years ago same thing happened to me at a light, I was in a hurry, missed the light, and thought "God, ya know what kind of a rush I'm in, whats with the red light?" No sooner had that crossed my mind when the car in front of me got T-boned in the intersection. Since then when I get caught up in seemingly time consuming detours I think God is doing it for a reason, and I try and have a little faith that the hold up may be for my own good.


As for the handicap person in my way anywhere, I believe God has put them in front of me so that I may help them, and I do. I'm honestly grateful I can be of assistance to those who need help.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Years ago same thing happened to me at a light, I was in a hurry, missed the light, and thought "God, ya know what kind of a rush I'm in, whats with the red light?" No sooner had that crossed my mind when the car in front of me got T-boned in the intersection. Since then when I get caught up in seemingly time consuming detours I think God is doing it for a reason, and I try and have a little faith that the hold up may be for my own good.


As for the handicap person in my way anywhere, I believe God has put them in front of me so that I may help them, and I do. I'm honestly grateful I can be of assistance to those who need help.

That right there is just pretty awesome.