Was I wrong to be annoyed?

[allhart]

Anger! We should all ask ourselves, why we are angry? Then why do we emotionally expressing our anger.

Anger is a nightmare for me. What is righteous anger? Then how do I or you express it without going emotionally crazy, with self control?

Most of my anger comes from people that hurt me and I will tend to say something mean back, because people or family thinks that they have the right to take advantage of you an; therefore, they proceeds, even when you protest in anger, then I go ballistic! Then I tend to feel guilty after wards.
Compromise is showing your love for them back, but when it isn't received back I am hurt and express it in anger and it does escalate when they are selfish or plainly just stubborn. How do you live with or around people that won't do the right thing and then not let your anger consume the environment. Without an escape of any kind?

Why do people seem to go ballistic waiting five minutes on a burger in a fast food drive-thru. Boy, that's and inconvenient way to live. When third world country's have to cook every meal.

 

[allhart]

The reason I bring this up. A little back ground first. We are in foreclosure. I am on unemployment and my wife isn't. She can't get any work? Also her brother died Friday. O.K. My wife sons come up from their dads Friday night. Already planned grant you. One of the boys is going to bring three friends for the night, fine. I get up the next day around noon my wife tells me they want to watch foot ball. I don't watch foot ball. They took over! For a compromise I said to my wife lets go watch a movie at the theater. She said no she wanted to visit her kids, kicked to the curb again, They took over my space with no consideration for me and this isn't the first time. I resent it, so I went ballistic. I am the one that is always made to be the bad guy. I hate them for it.

Emotionally, I tell you growing up,I was the odd ball, as well. My mom married my step dad and I have two half sister, also I didn't know my real dad or meet him until I was 17. I am hurt and up set with life and with people. I was alone growing up and I am alone now. I question peoples love then, as I do now.

 

[allhart]

I feel I have loved on them and continue to do so. I am always changing to what their needs are, but they do not. I feel damned if I don't and damned if I do, because they are selfish. They can't seem to consider anyone one, but themselves. I try talking and its stays the same. " Talk is cheap" I give up to change and they take, take and take. Always willing to point out my faults to show me where I need to change , but not willing to change any themselves.

 

[WorshipBassist]

The problem with anger is that it tends to lead to you acting in a way which is beyond your normal personality. It turns you into an ogre.

 

[allhart]

The problem with anger is that it tends to lead to you acting in a way which is beyond your normal personality. It turns you into an ogre.

Yes, while some are silent, but deadly!

 

[Beanieboy]

Were you wrong in being angry? I think being angry is amoral, a normal human reaction.
Most people don't like to have to wait, and seeing people delay the line is fairly common.

In the morning, I am tired. I go to Tim Horton's, order some coffee and a breakfast sandwich, and there is always someone in the huge line, now up at the counter, realizing that, oh, yeah, I need to get out my money, and starts digging for it for a good couple of minutes, like they couldn't have done that before they got to the counter.

But then I realize that it doesn't matter, really. In the big scheme of things, is waiting another minute or two going to change my life?

In this instance, more than a minute or two. However, if you would take a second and put yourself in their shoes, the elderly people are doing something that is probably very foreign to them. (My parent's VCR still blinks 12:00.) The person with Down's is like trying to teach a child. What they are doing - a good life skill - is very good for the person with Down's.

So, you have a couple of options. You can step up and smile, and ask them if they need some help. They would probably want to kiss your feet with a "YESSSS!" and leave the store thinking about how nice people can be.

You could possibly get a store clerk to assist them.

You could simply wait.

You could yell, but is that going to help matters? Were you not sure what you were doing wrong, and someone was yelling for you to hurry up, would you suddenly speed up, or get nervous, and make more mistakes?

Buddhism, and Christianity, teach that what ever you sew, you shall reap. In offering assistance to them, you will probably inspire everyone who sees you, and the people that you offer the help, to act in kind, and demonstrate how you made the best of an annoying situation.

I feel for people who are elderly, because technology has changed at a rocket pace, to a point where it must be overwhelming to live each day and try to keep up with it. For people with Down's, it is often like talking to the mind and spirit of a child, one that still believes that the worlds can be fair, magical, kind, and innocent. Both are somewhat vulnerable to the world in which they live.

So, yeah, it makes perfect sense that you would feel annoyed, angered, even want to yell. However, it is an opportunity to choose to evolve, to reach out in kindness, in understanding, helping them understand the technology, and in your decision to rise above your humanity and act more divine, you evolve yourself, and you have made the world a little better.

Put someone you know in that place: You elderly mother, your young son or daughter, your grandparent, and imagine them being yelled at. Imagine yourself being elderly, and trying to teach someone with Down's with Jetson's technology, and it's easier to be understanding.

 

[sk8Joyful]

So yesterday, my wife gives me a list of 5 items we need from the grocery store.
I'm thinking, OK, Super Sunday. The stores are gonna be packed. I'm prepared--somewhat--to wait in line.

An elderly couple have just moved up to a scanner. HOWEVER--with them is an adult woman who obviously has Down's Syndrome. AND--they're letting her try to use the scanner. She's making mistakes and touching the wrong screen icons.
Something gets so screwed up, at one point the attendant has to void the entries and they have to start all over.

Everyone is getting really p.o.'d, but these people are oblivious. They held up that scanner for a good 10 minutes.
I'm all for accommodating people with disabilities, but there is a time and place for helping the mentally challenged.
And with other customers waiting, this was not it. Totally inappropriate.

Am I wrong?

Glad you at least asked the question : Now,
for just a minute, put someone you know in that place: Elderly?, your young son or daughter, & imagine them being yelled at.
Imagine yourself being elderly, and trying to teach someone with Down's computer technology, and
it's easier to be understanding...
and
then, how could you have, and in the future, handle this, & any emotions, different
You do know a child-of-GOD is far more important, (than some dumb ball-game);
like "what can I do to help, make this easier?; may I "
This is = to walking... the Christian talk, right
.

 

[JustOneWay]

Am I wrong?

Yes.

Do not scan your own food items. Force the grocery store to keep more cashiers employed.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Yes.

Do not scan your own food items. Force the grocery store to keep more cashiers employed.

QFT.



Even though I use the self checkouts. Heh.

 

[Beanieboy]

Let me add something.

I was at a grocery store that I refer to as Buck Butchers. After work, I grab some food, then stand in the ironically named Express Lane for 8 or less items for what seems a fortnight, if I knew what a fortnight was. While I was waiting, watching my beard grow, a man must have somehow cut in line in front of a couple that had a huge cart. I didn't see what happened, but the woman said something about it, being quite angered. The man said something like, "I'm sorry, but I just have the one thing." I'm not even sure if he actually cut, but the woman just went on and on. "Is this the way you usually lead your life? You just cut into line wherever you want?" The man with her said, "Just let it go." She said, "But that isn't right. It's wrong out of principal." (Maybe they had opened up a lane, and he got there before her, or someone said, "Next in line", he jumped into the line, and the couple were in front of him. Who knows.) At one point, the man of the couple told her that she needed to drop it. She continued, making small, snide remarks, about anarchy of society that didn't follow common courtesy. The man of the couple warned her. Not heeding him, he said, "That's it. I'm leaving," and left her there. Even then, she continued.

Now, let's say that she was in the right. What do you think most of us thought by the end of 2008 when we finally reached our counter, having listened to her for what seemed like 2 months?

She pushed the issue so much that we started feeling for the guy in front of her, and couldn't understand what could possibly be that important. And most of us wanted to cheer the guy that left her there with the cart of groceries.

One should say something, but there is a point where it goes to such an extreme, given the situation, where you begin to lose favor.

And the more she went on, the more I analyzed it: If I had a huge cart of groceries, and someone had a frozen pizza, I would probably offer to let him go first than make him sit through 10 minutes of scanning my stuff just to be neighborly.

There is a really cool song that they used to play in Minneapolis that went:

All I wanna do is to thank you
even though I don't know who you are
You let me change lanes
while I was driving in my car. . .

Whoever you are
I wanna thank you who...

Now all I wanna do is to exit
So I go to where I can get off
On a curve, through the shoulder
There's no parking in that trough
So I drive around all day
Coming atmospheric haze
Till I wanna get on again
Then, all I have to say is

All I wanna do is to thank you
Even though I don't know who you are
You let me change lanes
While I was driving in my car. . .


It was a catchy tune, but was saying something very simple: thanks to you, the person that let me change lanes when I was driving in my car, while I was trying to get off the exit.

We've all been there. We've all had people not let us over, and had people be a friend, and let us get over. Trying to make it to the exit is something we can all relate to.

What's cool, I guess, is that someone did the smallest of favors, and the guy was so moved, he wrote a song about it. People would call up and request it all the time, thinking just that - that the simple favors that people do move people in ways they don't even realize. Even something as simple as letting someone change lanes.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Beanieboy, you're my hero right now.

It is so true - I try to let people in and let people with one item get ahead of me because others have done it for me, too.

What was that movie, Pay It Forward...definitely some merit to that line of thinking.

 

[sk8Joyful]

Let me add something.

I was at a grocery store that I refer to as Buck Butchers. After work, I grab some food, then stand
in the ironically named Express Lane for 8 or less items

Someone said, "Next in line", the man jumped into the line, and the couple were in front of him.
At one point, the man of the couple told her that she needed to drop it. She continued, making small, snide remarks, about
anarchy of society that didn't follow common courtesy. The man of the couple warned her. Not heeding him,
he said, "That's it. I'm leaving," and left her there. Even then, she continued.

There is a really cool song that they used to play in Minneapolis
that went:
"All I wanna do is to thank you
even though I don't know who you are
You let me change lanes
while I was driving in my car. . .

Whoever you are
I wanna thank you who...

Now all I wanna do is to exit
So I go to where I can get off
On a curve, through the shoulder
There's no parking in that trough
So I drive around all day
Coming atmospheric haze
Till I wanna get on again
Then, all I have to say is

All I wanna do is to thank you
Even though I don't know who you are
You let me change lanes
While I was driving in my car. . ."


What's cool, I guess, is that someone did the smallest of favors,
and the guy was so moved, he wrote a song about it.
The simple favors that people do, move people in ways they don't even realize.
Even something as simple as letting someone change lanes.

Amen! Routinely, I try to put myself in the shoes of someone else; and it works better

 

[Beanieboy]

Yeah, a very cool movie that illustrates casting your bread on the water, and how it comes back 3 fold. It's a very inspiring movie of how one person can set off a reaction that changes the world.

 

[SallyNow]

Were you wrong to be angry? No. But you would have been very, very wrong to act on that anger. About the only non-offensive thing you could have flagged down an employee (if there were any to be found!) and said there seemed to be something wrong with the scanner, but that's about it.

It sounds tacky, but sometimes we just have to take a breath and count to ten and let the anger pass... or post it on a message board so others can comment on it

Also, maybe I'm a bit of a grocery store snob, but I've never been to one with a self-checkout. Are there some extra security features that prevent people from stealing things?

 

[HollandScotts]

Yes.

Do not scan your own food items. Force the grocery store to keep more cashiers employed.

Yea, but it's so much easier to steal stuff when you check out yourself.

 

[JustOneWay]

Yea, but it's so much easier to steal stuff when you check out yourself.

I would not dare be inconsiderate or consider stealing.

 

[wanderingone]

that the simple favors that people do move people in ways they don't even realize. Even something as simple as letting someone change lanes.

It's so true. Plus I found that learning patience has been a huge benefit to myself as well. There's that cliche sign people put up in some offices "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" It's kind of rude, but I apply it to myself when I'm in a "rush" and feel like people are in my way.

If I'm in a rush who is to blame? Is it the fault of the guy in front of me if I planned too many errands before work or church or my doctor's appointment? Is it the cab driver's fault that I waited until 15 minutes before I'm supposed to board my train to call the cab?

My husband calls me a "pushover" because I let people "go first" and don't have fits when someone cuts a line or is moving slow... personally I see no reason to have a confrontation over how fast I can get out of the supermarket or to risk a car accident by keeping someone from getting into the lane they need to get into for their exit on the highway. I find life to be a lot more pleasant if I just sit back and let the person get into their lane.. maybe they SHOULD have changed lanes half a mile back.. I don't know..but how does it help me to make their life more difficult by not letting them get in front of me? Isn't it easier to just be nice to someone? It's corny I guess but I buy into the pay it forward kind of thought.. if I am decent to someone maybe they will have a bit of a better day and "pay it forward"

 

[lisah]

So yesterday, my wife gives me a list of 5 items we need from the grocery store. I'm thinking, OK, Super Sunday. The stores are gonna be packed. I'm prepared--somewhat--to wait in line.

I see one of the self-checkout scanners is down, and about 7-8 people are waiting in line to use the other 3. But it's moving pretty well. I get my stuff, and I take my place.

An elderly couple have just moved up to a scanner. Already, they seem to have a few more items in their cart than they should (dont' you hate that?) But no big deal. HOWEVER--with them is an adult woman who obviously has Down's Syndrome. AND--they're letting her try to use the scanner. She's making mistakes and touching the wrong screen icons. Something gets so screwed up, at one point the attendant has to void the entries and they have to start all over. So all of us in line are now waiting for only two scanners. It's obvious that everyone is getting really p.o.'d, but these people are oblivious. They held up that scanner for a good 10 minutes.

I'm all for accommodating people with disabilities, but there is a time and place for helping the mentally challenged. And on a busy shopping day, with other customers waiting, this was not it. This was totally inappropriate.

Am I wrong?

A whole ten minutes out of your life, and you are angry when this is someone else's whole life? I mean, come on...ten whole minutes of your time versus someone's difficulties of a lifetime.

 

[Jane_the_Bane]

I would not dare be inconsiderate or consider stealing.

Dare? Sure.
Consider it a valid option? I don't think so.