Warmth and Caring for Ex-Mormons

[Rescued One]

In answer to your questions are you fellowshipping with a church? Depending on what kind it is, well the ones ive been to generally the pastor will instruct others on what to do with regard to communion. Sometimes its passed around and sometimes you go up to receive.

Giving is according to what the Lord places on your heart. He likes a cheerful giver. If you prefer some churches have envelopes or even AUtomatic payment so you can give anonymously. But its not compulsory. You can give your time or some churches have a donations basket for food etc.

There will be various groups meeting up during the week but thats not compulory either.

I am happy. I want to help those who are struggling with LDS family members who keep trying to pull them back.

 

[Rescued One]

I dont know of any church dances lol.
But events and things are up to you. Nothing is compulsory or obligatory. Church isnt a big guilt trip...its a gathering and celebration of Jesus in our lives.

LDS have dances at church for the young people and Gold and Green balls for the adults.

 

[Rescued One]

If people ask generally they will be satisfied when you say you are born again.
Most people dont probe about peoples past because as christians we look forward not back. The fact that you there in church and participating can be enough for many to generally accept fellowship with you. New christians come to faith all the time so if things are unfamiliar in church just ask an elder.

We are saved by grace through faith not by works so...it does not matter if you dont take the lead singing or a class or be looked down on as less of a christian if you not heavily involved. We are all learning and generally, those that take on more roles have been faithful for long time but they are called to certain roles not pushed into it.

Not everyone who comes out of the Mormon church is born again. Mormons feel that it is presumptive to claim such a thing. Being born again to them means that you have been baptized in their church and are in the process of being born again. Yes, I was asked the questions you say you don't ask --- especially by Independent Baptists. That was years ago when I knew very little about the Bible.

 

[Goodbook]

well christians ask different questions I'm just saying from what I know and my experience even though I was never LDS.
I have mormon neighbours and they've been living next door to us for years but have never really said anything about their beliefs to us. I did ask their boy about his missions that he told me he was going on but he wasn't curious about my faith at all. He just seemed content with his own church activities and never really questioning what he had been taught.

Independent Baptists can be nosy is what I found. Some of them actually don't believe some things that are in the Bible as well, so..I suppose it depends what church you go to. Plain free-will baptists are generally easy going and accepting.

 

[Goodbook]

I used to give a widow who had a lot of family that were LDS rides to church. She said she could worship anywhere but sometimes did go to LDS for families sake but just ignored the extra biblical stuff. I think thats the same with people who's families were staunch catholics as well. You need to strengthen you faith and read the Bible more and thats how you overcome everyone trying to pull you back. Stand on his Word.

 

[tickingclocker]

Part of the difficulty faced by leaving Mormonism is that it took up nearly every minute of the person's life. There wasn't much time remaining after caring for family and fulfilling obligations to the church. Most non-Mormon neighbors were afraid to befriend you. If you live in an area where you are surrounded by Mormon neighbors, it's like being stranded on an island with no rescue in sight.

On top of that, you start out not knowing what is expected in a Christian church. Do you walk forward for communion or do you wait for it to be passed? Do you partake of it as soon as it is passed, or do you wait until everyone can partake at the same time? Will a collection plate be passed or is there a box in the foyer for donations? Is tithing expected or should you give according to your conscience?

Will people be satisfied that you left Mormonism or will they ask if you've been saved? Will someone ask you if you know you'll go to heaven when you die? What should you say? Will someone from the church visit your family to see how everyone is doing? Are you less of a Christian if you don't go to church on Wednesday nights? Are you less of a Christian if you don't teach a class or lead the singing? Does the church expect participation in church sponsored dances or does it frown upon dancing?

Perhaps other ex-Mormons can fill in some questions I missed.

There is also the idea of "if they don't come up to you, are they being stand-offish?" NO. They are not. They are being polite, and giving you some space. Not everyone likes being overwhelmed by even friendly strangers the first shot out of the starting gate. I didn't. The first church I went to, I was (politely) informed I was sitting in an elderly lady's pew seat, and would I please move further in? I felt confused, trapped and threatened, so got up and walked out. It took a long time for me to attend another Christian church after that. Now that I look back on it, it was probably because she had a cane and couldn't physically step over me then slide further along the pew bench. How ashamed of myself I am now, immediately assuming the worst. Mainly because I was taught to expect such behavior from "those Christians".

It takes a LONG time to unload that mentality out of your head. It doesn't come easy, but you must consciously try each day to overcome it. It is possible, with the help of the indwelling Holy Spirit!

 

[tickingclocker]

Where can this thread be moved to help former Mormons with the difficulties they face? I'm asking for advice.

It can eventually be moved to the upcoming Ex-Mormon forum. Be patient. Have faith! God IS working, never fear. Until then I think its a great idea to share our stories and help each other out transitioning from mormonism to "outside". Wherever that may be. Hopefully it will be with the Lord among Christians. But it all takes time to transition, and learn how to trust ourselves, let alone others. Be patient.

Ex-cult members have it the most difficult. There are many ministries geared toward active Mormons, but few completely Christian resources or forums geared toward helping ex-Mormons and other people leaving cults transition to the outside world. We've been taught its pretty spiritually scary out here. It's not, but we don't know that. Ex-Mormons are one of the largest groups of unreached people in this country. We are largely ignored, unless we conform to Christianity, but even then we struggle privately when there is no need to. We do have unique problems, however, in our spiritual outlook by being taught that everyone else is suspect "except" mormonism. We are spiritual babes, at the mercy of so many out there looking for any wounded target. So please keep praying for this upcoming forum to be finally set up and running smoothly, and soon!

 

[tickingclocker]

That would never work.

It's not a nice place to heal and search for God. AT all. Ex-Mormons tend to get slammed to the ground by active Mormons as being "unfaithful" to mormonism, and/or taunted with accusations of believing "anti" lies, when most of the time its the LORD who has gradually shown us that mormonism is false. I for one never once say any "anti" literature before I left mormonism, but most TBM's don't want to accept that. Then they call me a liar.

 

[Rescued One]

It's not a nice place to heal and search for God. AT all. Ex-Mormons tend to get slammed to the ground by active Mormons as being "unfaithful" to mormonism, and/or taunted with accusations of believing "anti" lies, when most of the time its the LORD who has gradually shown us that mormonism is false. I for one never once say any "anti" literature before I left mormonism, but most TBM's don't want to accept that. Then they call me a liar.

That was the same for me. A Mormon asked me what I read that convinced me to leave. I gave a very honest answer --- "the Bible." And there was no internet at that time. Later another Mormon asked me the same question. My answer was the same and he let out a loud guffaw. I didn't ask him why he thought that was funny. I think some Mormons have decided ahead of time to laugh out loud or to tell fellow Mormons to just laugh it off. But I think spiritual matters should be taken seriously.

 

[Rescued One]

well christians ask different questions I'm just saying from what I know and my experience even though I was never LDS.
I have mormon neighbours and they've been living next door to us for years but have never really said anything about their beliefs to us. I did ask their boy about his missions that he told me he was going on but he wasn't curious about my faith at all. He just seemed content with his own church activities and never really questioning what he had been taught.

Independent Baptists can be nosy is what I found. Some of them actually don't believe some things that are in the Bible as well, so..I suppose it depends what church you go to. Plain free-will baptists are generally easy going and accepting.

Mormons aren't curious about their neighbors' beliefs because they've been taught that Orthodox, Catholics, and Protestants, et al, are following the teachings of men. But if they're trying to convert someone, they tell that person, "We believe all religions have some truth in them." Instead, they could have quoted their scripture that states:

Doctrine and Covenants 1
29 And after having received the record of the Nephites, yea, even my servant Joseph Smith, Jun., might have power to translate through the mercy of God, by the power of God, the Book of Mormon.

30 And also those to whom these commandments were given, might have power to lay the foundation of thischurch, and to bring it forth out of obscurity and out ofdarkness, the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth, with which I, the Lord, am well pleased,speaking unto the church collectively and not individually—

I think the Doctrine and Covenants reveals more about Mormonism than the Book of Mormon does.

 

[tickingclocker]

That was the same for me. A Mormon asked me what I read that convinced me to leave. I gave a very honest answer --- "the Bible." And there was no internet at that time. Later another Mormon asked me the same question. My answer was the same and he let out a loud guffaw. I didn't ask him why he thought that was funny. I think some Mormons have decided ahead of time to laugh out loud or to tell fellow Mormons to just laugh it off. But I think spiritual matters should be taken seriously.

Of course they won't want to believe that, but its what happens 75% of the time! It's not the "anti" literature that get us. It's the HOLY SPIRIT drawing us to Jesus by showing us the holes in mormonism's doctrines (or any other "ism").