Virginity

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

How important is it that your spouse is a virgin when you get married? Do you think that you could "deal" with it if that had made a mistake in the past and weren't...or would you feel like you had been "cheated" out of something with that person?

 

[Annova]

Wel I'll answer this before this thead gets out of hand.

Personally it doesn't matter. It doesn't define who they are. And to be honest, I've never met a virgin male in RL around my age and I don't expect to.

 

[mina]

It's a definite plus, but if he made a mistake and has repented and is living in purity now, that is what would be important to me.

 

[futuredoc]

I'm not sure....I'd probably prefer it because then we could start at the same "level" but its not a deal breaker for me. It would, however, be a deal breaker if he started pressuring me or if he was at all judgemental about me not being "experienced."

 

[puffca]

(You seem to be new to this forum... )

I think getting married as a virgin is beautiful.
Having children is a dealbreaker for me unless she was widowed.
Divorcee is a no no.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

(You seem to be new to this forum... )

I think getting married as a virgin is beautiful.
Having children is a dealbreaker for me unless she was widowed.
Divorcee is a no no.

Lol. Why would you say that I "seem new" for? Is it something I said?

 

[catofhope]

I do not think it should be a deal breaker.

What happens in someone's past is just that - the past.

Since God can forgive them, how dare I NOT do the same.

 

[futuredoc]

Lol. Why would you say that I "seem new" for? Is it something I said?

NO I think he's just commenting b/c these types of threads usually get derailed usually in a massive train wreck sort of way.

 

[mina]

I'm not sure....I'd probably prefer it because then we could start at the same "level" but its not a deal breaker for me. It would, however, be a deal breaker if he started pressuring me or if he was at all judgemental about me not being "experienced."

I agree with that

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

NO I think he's just commenting b/c these types of threads usually get derailed usually in a massive train wreck sort of way.

Ah, yes I know. But I try and believe that at some point we will learn to be adults in the areas where we need to be...and if it gets out of hand it is not my "fault" for posting but it's sort of up to everyone who posts to say their piece but not start a fight. Either way, it's not like I shouldn't post these sorts of threads because I am "afraid" of that.

 

[soccerdad66]

How important is it that your spouse is a virgin when you get married? Do you think that you could "deal" with it if that had made a mistake in the past and weren't...or would you feel like you had been "cheated" out of something with that person?

Is it more important that they were pure before the marriage, or during the marriage?

Cuz I married a virgin...

 

[CoachR64]

Is it a deal breaker? No. I understand that people make mistakes, or poor choices in their past. Would it be a bonus? Absolutely. But I am not going to overlook a girl because of some poor choices in her past, as long as she is making good choices now and has been forgiven and, just as importantly, has forgiven herself.

I realize that at my age, it is going to be more and more uncommon to find a girl that is a virgin. I am not worried about her past, but her present and future.

I used to think I would NEVER date a girl that was divorced or had children. But, again, that would be judging their past. I am not going to miss out on a wonderful girl that God has for me because I am unwilling to give someone a chance based on prior mistakes. Maybe if I had never made a poor choice in my life, I could hold others to that standard. But as I am flawed and forgiven, I must be accepting of others who are the same.

Coach

 

[JonMiller]

How important is it that your spouse is a virgin when you get married? Do you think that you could "deal" with it if that had made a mistake in the past and weren't...or would you feel like you had been "cheated" out of something with that person?

I don't expect it for my age. I mean, if I was dating 17 yearolds I would prefer virgins, at my age I would be surprised if any desireable girl was.

One thing though, for the relationship to progress, I would have to be the most important person... all previous relationships would have to be ended completely (no interest in ever getting back together, no desires, etc). I know too many people who still have baggage with other relationships which lead to problems (even to the extant of divorce) in their marriages. This is one of the reasons why a woman with children would be more 'complicated'.

You can find many women (Seems less so with men) who still are half in love with old boyfreinds...

JM

 

[JonMiller]

Wel I'll answer this before this thead gets out of hand.

Personally it doesn't matter. It doesn't define who they are. And to be honest, I've never met a virgin male in RL around my age and I don't expect to.

You aren't hanging out with geeky enough giys. A surprisingly large number of males in my physics classes were virgins.

JM
(Not like 1/2, or even 1/4, but depending on the age 1/5-1/20? The physics girls were much more experienced...)

 

[Annova]

You aren't hanging out with geeky enough giys. A surprisingly large number of males in my physics classes were virgins.

I guess not. I hang with the wrong crowd so... But like I said I don't know any personally. If this question was asked when I was in my teens...well yeah then I would know some.

 

[JonMiller]

I guess not. But like I said I don't know any personally. If this question was asked when I was in my teens...well yeah then I would know some.

Yeah, that is why I said it (virginity) would be important to me in my teens.. but not now.

JM

 

[Annova]

Yeah, that is why I said it (virginity) would be important to me in my teens.. but not now.

JM

Okay I missed it. Sorry.

 

[plum]

I don't expect more from a man than I expect from myself. I'm not a virgin, so that should answer that question.

I do care about a man's attitude towards sex. What does it mean between two people? How important is it? What's the spiritual aspect of it to him?

I think of and value sex in some pretty... deep ways now. I would love to find a man who also thinks that way as well.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

It's not a big deal if they follow Jesus.
(Why am I answering this? I'm not getting married!)

 

[Braticus]

I didn't really used to like the idea of being eith a man that had ever been with anyone else. I have saved myself and always thought it would be only curtious that he had done likewise. But God has provided us all with Mercy and grace for the sins that we have comminted in His eye's. He lavishes the grace on us so that we might bestow it on those that around us. We are only human and therefore juudgemental by nature and only with the grace that God has provided can we look at soemone for who they are now and not what they were before. I'm not perfect, no one is. So if he has lost his virginity, I can look on that as the past, and see him for who he is, IF he had repented and is a changed man.