VERY troubling book brought home by my son

RebekahDanvers1190

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Hello everyone. My name is Rebekah, I am a lifelong Christian woman (and mom), of two beautiful children who are now teens and wife to a man I am madly in love with who is pillar of faith in The Lord.



My son (sophomore in high school) has always had a rebellious streak, ever since he was very young, but recently he is out of control and I don’t know what to do but pray.



I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility. Initially I didn’t think much about it but my son has never been much into novels so I took a look inside and was appalled. The book is full of atheist ramblings and at one point even parodies The Bible recasting Satan as “the good guy.”



Needless to say I was horrified and immediately grilled my son about where he got this book, because I SURE didn’t buy it for him and neither did his dad. He resisted at first, refused to tell me, and I had to ground him to his room for two days before he finally gave up that he got the book from a friend who had ordered it on Amazon.



I am appalled that this kind of material is just out there, available to our kids, with no content warnings or ANYTHING for parents to know what their kids are reading.



Worse yet, since my son read this book he has started to question our family’s Christian faith! I have sent him to my pastor multiple times but he continuously comes away questioning authority more and more, and now has begun calling us names and is refusing to go to church. Yesterday I saw he had drawn a pentagram on his palm with an ink pen!! I made him wash and scrub it off but I am terrified that he has invited demonic possession into his life and into our household.



What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!
 

NerdGirl

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Why would there be a "content warning" on a book about atheism?

If he's been rebelling since he was little, this isn't the book's fault. He's questioning and pushing boundaries now. It's what teenagers do.

If you treat him like a naughty, evil freak, he'll respond like one.

How about listening to him? How about quietly and lovingly answering his questions about faith and God and religion?

Are you well educated on what pentagrams are? Their origins and uses? Or do you immediately panic and fly into hysterics? Will that make your son feel comfortable coming to his mother and father with questions or concerns? Nope.

Calm down. Take a breath. Keep praying. God is bigger than Satan. Cover your child in prayer, and keep loving him. The more you "grill" him and get "appalled" and "terrified" over rather common questions and behaviors among struggling teenagers, the further you're going to push him away.

It's your job to prepare him for the world, not scare him into hiding in his room, away from the Big Bad Outside. Educate yourself on the things he's asking about. Explain what they are in regards to your beliefs, how they differ, how they can be perceived. Avoid hysterics.

Good luck.
 
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High Fidelity

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Of course do what you see fit as he's under your spiritual guidance, but perhaps look at the positive in that this may be an event or series of events that strengthens his faith. Like steel in a sword, through repeated heating and cooling, it undergoes immense stress to produce something that's fundamentally stronger and more resilient as a result.

Don't argue with him about what a good person is or should be, be one. Be patient, compassionate, open to discussion and live by example and when the opportunities present themselves to present your own opinion or argument without assaulting him with it, do so. This will not be the first book he's read on the subject and it won't be the last. Be patient.
 
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2PhiloVoid

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Hello everyone. My name is Rebekah, I am a lifelong Christian woman (and mom), of two beautiful children who are now teens and wife to a man I am madly in love with who is pillar of faith in The Lord.



My son (sophomore in high school) has always had a rebellious streak, ever since he was very young, but recently he is out of control and I don’t know what to do but pray.



I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility. Initially I didn’t think much about it but my son has never been much into novels so I took a look inside and was appalled. The book is full of atheist ramblings and at one point even parodies The Bible recasting Satan as “the good guy.”



Needless to say I was horrified and immediately grilled my son about where he got this book, because I SURE didn’t buy it for him and neither did his dad. He resisted at first, refused to tell me, and I had to ground him to his room for two days before he finally gave up that he got the book from a friend who had ordered it on Amazon.



I am appalled that this kind of material is just out there, available to our kids, with no content warnings or ANYTHING for parents to know what their kids are reading.



Worse yet, since my son read this book he has started to question our family’s Christian faith! I have sent him to my pastor multiple times but he continuously comes away questioning authority more and more, and now has begun calling us names and is refusing to go to church. Yesterday I saw he had drawn a pentagram on his palm with an ink pen!! I made him wash and scrub it off but I am terrified that he has invited demonic possession into his life and into our household.



What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!

Hi Rebekah! This kind of thing is never easy to deal with. What has your pastor recommended so far in handling this situation with your son?
 
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RebekahDanvers1190

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Our pastor has recommended continuous counseling for him until he is over what he calls this “devil phase”. I gave the book to the pastor to read so he could understand what he is dealing with. There are horrible things in this book - rape, child molestation, cannibalism, you name it. I am just scared of what my son has been exposed to and if he is drawing pentagrams on his hands it is having an influence on him!
 
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2PhiloVoid

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Our pastor has recommended continuous counseling for him until he is over what he calls this “devil phase”. I gave the book to the pastor to read so he could understand what he is dealing with. There are horrible things in this book - rape, child molestation, cannibalism, you name it. I am just scared of what my son has been exposed to and if he is drawing pentagrams on his hands it is having an influence on him!

Has your son given you any indication as to why he chose this book? Could it be that he heard about it from a friend and thought that he, in some way, relates with the main character?

Also, have you considered getting your son some counseling with a professional psychologist?
 
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JohnDB

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That learned lack of respect hasn't come out of nowhere...

Somewhere along the way of his growing up this child has been taught disrespecting others in authority is acceptable behavior and others have added to this education of disrespectfulness.

And now...it's a huge problem.
 
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NerdGirl

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He's a sophomore, right? So, about 15 years old? Unless he's been incredibly sheltered, he knows what rape and cannibalism and such are.

I would be concerned about such a book, too. But panic and hysteria will serve nothing here.

Your child is searching. He's looking for truth. Treating him like a leper will not help him. Counseling is fine as long as he's agreeable to it and gets something out of it. Calling an adolescent's questioning years a "devil phase" doesn't sound very reasonable or hopeful for a good outcome.

Many teenagers - even Christian ones - explore darker things. It's often a reaction to feelings of stress or uncertainty or insecurity or anger. How should a parent reassure their child in such situations? By panicking? No. Find out what he's lacking, what he needs, what he's reaching out for. Does he need to be listened to more? Does he need to be heard, noticed, validated, built up, reassured, valued?

This is coming from *somewhere*. Blaming it on the devil will not help you get to the source of it.
 
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Endeavourer

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That learned lack of respect hasn't come out of nowhere...

Somewhere along the way of his growing up this child has been taught disrespecting others in authority is acceptable behavior and others have added to this education of disrespectfulness.

And now...it's a huge problem.

I would argue this. I see that many kids go through a phase of pushing back at authority regardless of how they are raised.
 
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JohnDB

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I would argue this. I see that many kids go through a phase of pushing back at authority regardless of how they are raised.
There's always going to be a testing of authority figures by teenagers...they get older and are cognizant of overly simplistic answers.

Testing is a huge leap from disrespecting...

My son is grown and living on his own...but from time to time he still tests me and my authority. (Even though I really have none over him except for what he willingly chooses to accept)
But he doesn't even consider thinking about being disrespectful towards God in this house or within my earshot. He knows that such behavior is completely unacceptable. (And I would tolerate and accept a lot of others he doesn't choose to engage in)

And that's why I have said what I've said.
The boy has either discovered some sort of discrepancy in things he has been told or learned that he can think better for himself than the stated answers from his parents.

The why of this is the root of the problem...the book is just a symptom of a larger issue.
 
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Pavel Mosko

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What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!

You know there comes a time when kids question authority. I was afraid to be too blunt about that with my folks who were strict disciplinarians but I definitely did it behind their back as far as reading whatever I wanted etc.

Not all of this is bad. Adolescence is a training phase for adulthood where adults have to think for themselves. And sometimes there are some good reasons for this. Our parents sometimes make mistakes raising us etc.


Anyway censorship when things are this far can be a bit like closing the barn doors after the horse has left. Rather than doing that, I would try to deal with your sons atheist curiosity with honesty and forthrightness. And it would probably help to get acquainted with a few Christian Apologists, especially ones that were ashiest. David Wood is my favorite. He has a great testimony, sense of humor, and really mix it up when it comes to debate etc.


 
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Sparagmos

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Hello everyone. My name is Rebekah, I am a lifelong Christian woman (and mom), of two beautiful children who are now teens and wife to a man I am madly in love with who is pillar of faith in The Lord.



My son (sophomore in high school) has always had a rebellious streak, ever since he was very young, but recently he is out of control and I don’t know what to do but pray.



I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility. Initially I didn’t think much about it but my son has never been much into novels so I took a look inside and was appalled. The book is full of atheist ramblings and at one point even parodies The Bible recasting Satan as “the good guy.”



Needless to say I was horrified and immediately grilled my son about where he got this book, because I SURE didn’t buy it for him and neither did his dad. He resisted at first, refused to tell me, and I had to ground him to his room for two days before he finally gave up that he got the book from a friend who had ordered it on Amazon.



I am appalled that this kind of material is just out there, available to our kids, with no content warnings or ANYTHING for parents to know what their kids are reading.



Worse yet, since my son read this book he has started to question our family’s Christian faith! I have sent him to my pastor multiple times but he continuously comes away questioning authority more and more, and now has begun calling us names and is refusing to go to church. Yesterday I saw he had drawn a pentagram on his palm with an ink pen!! I made him wash and scrub it off but I am terrified that he has invited demonic possession into his life and into our household.



What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!
By the time your kid is a sophomore, you’ve already influenced him as much as you can, at least until he’s a bit older. It is natural for him to want to learn about the things that he hasn’t yet been exposed to, and pretty much impossible to control what he reads and what information he takes in. Any efforts to shame him or control him in this regards are likely to backfire. My parents tried to control what I read and I just found ways to read all of the stuff they didn’t want me to. Everything forbidden was even more alluring.

I know that it’s hard, but in only a year or two your son will be able to live on his own. He needs to learn to make his own choices about morality now, not all at once when he turns 18. Sheltering him isn’t possible, it will feel like repression to him and he will develop a sense of righteous indignation about his rebellion. And then, he will distance himself from you and you could lose all influence on him.

But if you give him mental privacy - the space to think and explore the world of ideas - and keep living and accepting him, you will be able to subtly influence him and be the person that he goes to when he needs help or advice.
 
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Jeshu

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You best of loving your son through this and lay down your own life a bit. Give him warnings based on truth. Like what happens in our hearts when we leave God. How the devil kills us in our faith so he can make us follow his lies where love becomes a fire of wanting to have and cost lots and kills true love in our hearts. Show him where the lies are and how they work.

It is love that can win this battle, we have had five children, all still serve the Lord, though they have gone at it their own way. We all need to learn those hard lessons. Love will draw them back, while authority will just be trodden down right now, and love as well for a period, but they always come back if you love them true. They know who is real and who is not.

So please base your relationship with your son on love and teach that God is love and that true love always knows the answer when it concerns right or wrong while fleshly love will see it wrongly and cost heaps. The test of time will bring sense to your teenager one day, pray it comes quickly.

Peace
 
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coffee4u

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My youngest son is 16, so very close in age.

My first thought was, does your son know that you love him-unconditionally? And second does he know how much God loves him? Do you all talk and have fun as a family, especially him and his dad? Do they do things together and are they close? It's vital at this age to fit in somewhere and for boys to feel your fathers approval.

Did you and his father sit down with him and explain why this hurts you and God?

This is where I would start and I would try and dig and find out where this came from before he came home with this book. This didn't just pop out of nowhere, I think it has been on the simmer for some time.

I don't believe in teenage rebellion for healthy kids in healthy homes. Testing some sure, but a teen doesn't go from being close and sharing to rebellion overnight. I believe a teen feels separated and misunderstood for awhile and pulls away bit by bit until something snaps.

I would not be grounding him. Punishing him is not going to solve or get to the bottom of this. Sure you can keep him home, but what is that going to achieve? That he isn't allowed to read books like this out of fear of punishment? The issue isn't that he was reading this book, the issue is why he was reading it and doing these other things. This is the root that has to be got to.
 
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Hello everyone. My name is Rebekah, I am a lifelong Christian woman (and mom), of two beautiful children who are now teens and wife to a man I am madly in love with who is pillar of faith in The Lord.



My son (sophomore in high school) has always had a rebellious streak, ever since he was very young, but recently he is out of control and I don’t know what to do but pray.



I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility. Initially I didn’t think much about it but my son has never been much into novels so I took a look inside and was appalled. The book is full of atheist ramblings and at one point even parodies The Bible recasting Satan as “the good guy.”



Needless to say I was horrified and immediately grilled my son about where he got this book, because I SURE didn’t buy it for him and neither did his dad. He resisted at first, refused to tell me, and I had to ground him to his room for two days before he finally gave up that he got the book from a friend who had ordered it on Amazon.



I am appalled that this kind of material is just out there, available to our kids, with no content warnings or ANYTHING for parents to know what their kids are reading.



Worse yet, since my son read this book he has started to question our family’s Christian faith! I have sent him to my pastor multiple times but he continuously comes away questioning authority more and more, and now has begun calling us names and is refusing to go to church. Yesterday I saw he had drawn a pentagram on his palm with an ink pen!! I made him wash and scrub it off but I am terrified that he has invited demonic possession into his life and into our household.



What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!

To be quite frank, it sounds like pretty standard teenage rebellion; and I hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like you're helping. That kind of behavior is likely only going to push him further away, push him further away from you and the Church.

What he needs is someone to hear his thoughts, and hear his questions--in an honest and meaningful way. Forcing him to go to church will only make him resent church. Telling him that he is going to bring demons into the house for drawing a pentagram on his hand is only going to reinforce ideas about religious nutjobs, and will make him view you as one.

He's questioning, he is being pulled in different directions, and that means a lot of patience, a lot of understanding, a lot of compassion, and a willingness to let him explore his questions.

Probably the most important thing he needs is the assurance, not just in words, but in action and behavior, that he has the love and support from his parents that he needs. That no matter what, whether he walks away from the faith or not, that you still love him. Because that's not a bridge you want to burn down.

I have no doubt that this is very frightening for you, but the most important thing right now is to be a loving, kind, compassionate, and understanding mother.

-CryptoLutheran
 
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Hello everyone. My name is Rebekah, I am a lifelong Christian woman (and mom), of two beautiful children who are now teens and wife to a man I am madly in love with who is pillar of faith in The Lord.



My son (sophomore in high school) has always had a rebellious streak, ever since he was very young, but recently he is out of control and I don’t know what to do but pray.



I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility. Initially I didn’t think much about it but my son has never been much into novels so I took a look inside and was appalled. The book is full of atheist ramblings and at one point even parodies The Bible recasting Satan as “the good guy.”



Needless to say I was horrified and immediately grilled my son about where he got this book, because I SURE didn’t buy it for him and neither did his dad. He resisted at first, refused to tell me, and I had to ground him to his room for two days before he finally gave up that he got the book from a friend who had ordered it on Amazon.



I am appalled that this kind of material is just out there, available to our kids, with no content warnings or ANYTHING for parents to know what their kids are reading.



Worse yet, since my son read this book he has started to question our family’s Christian faith! I have sent him to my pastor multiple times but he continuously comes away questioning authority more and more, and now has begun calling us names and is refusing to go to church. Yesterday I saw he had drawn a pentagram on his palm with an ink pen!! I made him wash and scrub it off but I am terrified that he has invited demonic possession into his life and into our household.



What can I do to counteract the negative influence this book has had on my son?? I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!

Pray and fast to the Lord Jesus Christ for him to come out of this.

Openly declare in your home, “Any demons that may be in this home, I bind you in the name of Jesus Christ for having any effect on my son, me, or my family.” "Depart from this home now in the name of Jesus.”

Take the book away from him, and tell him he is not reading that garbage under your roof.

I would place Bible verses in your home, as well. Talk to Him about how Jesus loves Him and how you love him. Read the Bible to him. Do more loving and good things towards him. Show your son the love of Christ. Break the chains with Jesus Christ. For there is nothing that the Lord cannot do.
 
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Tolworth John

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I am afraid for his soul and for the soul of my entire family!!

I would add to nerdgirls reply.

Back off, it is your husband's job to be the Authority figure, the one who talks with him about being respectful to you and him and following your family practices.
It is your husband who should be answering his questions about Christianity and challenging him about what he believes and what evidence he has for his beliefs.

Talk a deep breath and talk to your husband and start reading Lee Strobel him the case for Christ', so you can also answer your son's questions.
Also pass his questions to your churches youth worker and the pastor as they clearly have not touched on them.
Remember question are to be answered with facts and reason. It is your job and the pastor to supply them.
 
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@RebekahDanvers1190

Oh, and I believe doing nothing and or allowing your son to rebel will only make things worse. I would highly encourage you to take action immediately in praying for your son and in speaking to Him Scripture verses in God's Holy Word.
 
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I recently found a book in his backpack when I was going through his things, called The Raw Materials of Futility.
Buried the lead at bit, here. Why were you going through his things?
 
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