Very poor luck in finding someone

[timewerx]

Whenever I decide to look for dates or already seeing someone, something in my life comes up that prevents it from continuing. Something incredibly important that I need to deal with, robbing me of time and sometimes, money to have dates or build a relationship with someone.

Happened many times that I've lost count.

Here's something more insidious. If I decided I don't like the woman, nothing big happens in my life. But if I see or meet someone I really like, something big happens in my life that prevents me from continuing with her.

Why? The devil or God? Is this God's way of telling me to remain single?

Being single is a better thing after all, according to the Bible anyways. But I can't help but sometimes think/desire of being in a relationship.

I'm already 37 so my chances aren't very good by the number. The only thing that's going for me is that I still look young. Random people think I'm only in my early twenties. Makes for a good impression, until the truth about my age comes out.

 

[derpytia]

Something I think God has taught me recently is that, oftentimes, the people we think are good for us or that we desire to be with aren't always who we think they are or are not always good to pursue a relationship with. I've seen this lesson at work in my own life and in the life of some of my friends who are also looking for a life partner. It makes sense because the bible does say that our human ability to judge between what we think is good and bad is often worthless.

I can't say for certain why this happens to you but it is a possibility that God is keeping you from women who will not be good for you to be with in the long term.

 

[trophy33]

Devil does not have any control over us or over the world which God does not allow him to have. So, instead of asking "who", I would ask "why". Maybe you have not met the right one yet and thats why God protected you from "not the right ones", till now.

The age of 40 is nothing extra bad for a man, I know many 40 years old men having 20 years girls, because there are not many good Christian men in churches. You will be more wise than young men, more experienced and if you look young and are healthy, you have everything any young woman might want or need, you will even have advantages against young men in churches, because having the young look, you are already grown, adult and standing on the ground.

And if not? Then, as you said, its still better to be single. So there are no bad options in your future regarding this. You can substitute "the relationship" with other kind of relationships.

 

[timewerx]

I can't say for certain why this happens to you but it is a possibility that God is keeping you from women who will not be good for you to be with in the long term.

The odds are so incredibly uncanny....

Why would God allow other Christian men have partners whether the woman is bad or not?

But circumstances in my life would change dramatically which stops me from pursuing the woman I really like as it happened the last time and has been happening all thoughout my life.

Don't God only do such incredible intervention to pivotal (very important) characters in the Bible? Like Abraham, Moses, Isaac, etc. I don't think I'm at that level important (not that it seems at the moment anyway).

I have a few in few occassions, have seen myself in prophetic dreams of the future. I often see myself as single. Sometimes, there's a woman with me but I don't think this woman is my wife since she is most likely to be one of the heavenly beings, often working to help me.

 

[trophy33]

Why would God allow other Christian men have partners whether the woman is bad or not?

I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her
Ecc 7:26

 

[timewerx]

I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her
Ecc 7:26

Thanks. It doesn't make sense however why God doesn't treat other Christian men the same. I knew many Christian men who married ungGodly wives.

I'm not sure that I'm pleasing God to "deserve" such attention from Him!

 

[trophy33]

Thanks. It doesn't make sense however why God doesn't treat other Christian men the same. I knew many Christian men who married ungGodly wives.

I'm not sure that I'm pleasing God to "deserve" such attention from Him!

Its probably good that you think so low about yourself, but maybe you are not as bad compared to others as you think... God can see what is in everyone's heart.

Remember, many last ones will be first, many first ones will be last.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[blackribbon]

Thanks. It doesn't make sense however why God doesn't treat other Christian men the same. I knew many Christian men who married ungGodly wives.

I'm not sure that I'm pleasing God to "deserve" such attention from Him!

So you would rather have a "bad" wife and get divorced than be single?

It could be these men are getting married IN SPITE of what God is telling them.

I have decided that these "lean times" are God preparing me for something better ... (don't mean I don't feel sad though)

 

[timewerx]

So you would rather have a "bad" wife and get divorced than be single?

It could be these men are getting married IN SPITE of what God is telling them.

I have decided that these "lean times" are God preparing me for something better ... (don't mean I don't feel sad though)

I'm only citing examples. Otherwise, I carefully pick the woman I'm going to date or be in a relationship with.

I've actually been with really good Christian women but even these did not succeed. Failed due to unfavorable circumstances coming up whenever I might get into a relationship.

 

[timewerx]

Dates shouldn't have to cost a lot of money all of the time. Do you like to fly kites, have a picnic, shoot baskets, play tennis, play croquet, hit around a beach ball, go to a lake...?

I agree. But circumstances that ruin my chances doesn't just involve money. Sometimes, it would be due to assigned to a place that makes it impossible or occupy most of my free time.

Tasks that are incredibly important I couldn't just turn my back on nor have someone work in my place.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm only citing examples. Otherwise, I carefully pick the woman I'm going to date or be in a relationship with.

I've actually been with really good Christian women but even these did not succeed. Failed due to unfavorable circumstances coming up whenever I might get into a relationship.

The fact that the girl is a good Christian does not mean that you would have had a good happy marriage. That is an important piece but not the only piece. I still look at those crises that change my focus off my needs as God saying "not now" or "not this one". It still hurts and feels lonely .... but I continue to trust that God will provide for me ...

If it was the right woman, she would have been with you through your personal crises, and have been patient enough to wait.

 

[timewerx]

If it was the right woman, she would have been with you through your personal crises, and have been patient enough to wait.

I'm actually the one who backed off the relationship. I didn't want to put her through all those major inconveniences.

Fortunately, she found a good guy who provided all the things I couldn't provide her. I'm happy that things went well for her and she's happy. I'd feel bad if I broke her heart that bad and I'm glad, she moved on quickly and now happily married.

 

[blackribbon]

I'm actually the one who backed off the relationship. I didn't want to put her through all those major inconveniences.

Fortunately, she found a good guy who provided all the things I couldn't provide her. I'm happy that ?things went well for her and she's happy. I'd feel bad if I broke her heart that bad and I'm glad, she moved on quickly and now happily married.

Why would you back off? You want to find someone who can walk through life's hardships with you. It is one thing if you see they are having a hard time dealing with what is going on in your life and you let them go...but why walk away from someone if they want to help you?

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[MehGuy]

I'm already 37 so my chances aren't very good by the number. The only thing that's going for me is that I still look young. Random people think I'm only in my early twenties. Makes for a good impression, until the truth about my age comes out.

I'm guessing you're going for the younger dames.. because if they're your age or older they have no room to talk.. lol.

I know this man approaching 70 at work who's still trying to get with 20 something year old women.. lol..

 

[timewerx]

The fact that the girl is a good Christian does not mean that you would have had a good happy marriage. That is an important piece but not the only piece. I still look at those crises that change my focus off my needs as God saying "not now" or "not this one". It still hurts and feels lonely .... but I continue to trust that God will provide for me ...

If it was the right woman, she would have been with you through your personal crises, and have been patient enough to wait.

We're only two months into the relationship. Neither of us fought for it. I didn't really expect nor wish her to put up with me.

Not very romantic isn't it?

It's how the younger generation behave these days.

 

[timewerx]

I'm guessing you're going for the younger dames.. because if they're your age or older they have no room to talk.. lol.

I know this man approaching 70 at work who's still trying to get with 20 something year old women.. lol..

Yes, she's 7 years younger than me. I have a hard time dating ones at my age. Perhaps, my personality isn't attractive to those at my age.

 

[blackribbon]

We're only two months into the relationship. Neither of us fought for it. I didn't really expect nor wish her to put up with me.

Not very romantic isn't it?

It's how the younger generation behave these days.

It sounds like you simply haven't found the right girl yet.

 

[timewerx]

It sounds like you simply haven't found the right girl yet.

You might be right. But we had chemistry right from the beginning. Often times, when I recall her, I do have regrets over the outcome.

I should have fought for it too you know. But I followed logic over romance.

When we have the ideal partner in our mind, she made 90% of the qualities I'm looking for a woman which is exceptional / uncanny. 100% is next to impossible so 90% is as good as perfect match.

In the end, you could be right. Maybe that isn't my fate nor my destiny in life. Although to me, she is my "Wonder Woman" or simply The One!