Very afraid of having committed the unpardonable sin few years ago. Have I done it? Is there hope?

[The Scientist of the Eternal Pinecone]

Hello!

As the title states, I am very afraid that I've committed the unpardonable sin a few, like 4 or 5 years ago. Some might not believe, but God wanted me to do a 7 day fast, I was lead to do this the next day that I received the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately I fell and didn't finish the fast. A little less than a year passed and I was urged to complete the fast that God wanted me to do in the beginning. But I couldn't do it or - I didn't do it. Many, many times. I knew that God wanted me to do it. He gave me chances to do it. Many chances. Until the last one. I'm not sure if I knew that it would be the last opportunity. But God spoke to me from the Book of Revelation about returning to the first love and doing the first works or He would come soon and remove "the lampstand". What happened when I didn't complete the fast this time is that I believe that the Holy Spirit left me. I felt His touch for the last time. What happened was that as I fell from doing the fast, it was Monday and I turned on the Sunday's sermon recording (I didn't attend the sermon on Sunday) and the message that the pastor was giving to the church was wrapped around him having received words from the Holy Spirit the day before. And the words were: "This might be the last evidence (or proof) of my love for someone". When I heard this message, I felt His touch and then He left.

My experience really fits with the Hebrews teaching on people that are impossible to return to repentance. They tasted the gift, I did, they experienced the miracle of being with God etc., but they fell. I haven't heard from the Holy Spirit or God Himself ever since the described event. Maybe it's a desert I'm in, but maybe I've committed the unforgivable sin. I was so foolish not to follow God's leading. I'm in tears now. In Hebrews it is told about Esau who also in tears searched for the blessing, but he was rejected.

What I've been thinking lately is that (as I cannot hear from God) maybe I should find someone who communicates with God and should ask them to ask God if I have committed that unforgivable sin... The truth is that I feel like I really have committed it. Everything fits to what is written in Hebrews. Would God even tell the truth if someone really asked about me or would He even answer to my question..?

I don't even know what to ask. I just feel like Esau, looking for God after having lost Him. A cursed person. Hell and what I've lost is on my mind every day.

Any help appreciated I guess.

If there's someone who would ask God, if there's still a chance for me with Him... aka if maybe I'm not guilty of the unforgivable sin... Much love to that person.

Just a person missing God,
Klāvs.

 

[Sophrosyne]

God is still there, do you think Jesus died on the cross only for the sins you did prior to accepting him and that you turn on and off salvation by a constant sinning and repentance cycle? God promises that your FAITH in him is what saves you not your goodness and repentance. In order to be unpardonable you have to reject Jesus and die without him.
In our lives the sky isn't always blue and the grass isn't always green and God isn't always making you feel like you are high on some drug he is there regardless of it all it isn't about feelings as feelings can deceive us into thinking God doesn't like us any more. How can you even THINK God doesn't love you when he did the MAXIMUM possible to PROVE it to you? He forfeited his life on the Cross for ALL.......ALL......ALL your sins. If you truly believed in him once you believe that the sky and grass will change but God.... won't.

Put faith in Jesus, not your obedience, your deeds, your feelings, your success Faith is about trusting someone and a true friend (Jesus) doesn't abandon you when you mess up they try and help you and if you refuse help they wait for you to accept their help.

 

[Tolworth John]

should find someone who communicates with God

It is called a church, the place where you go every week to worship God, to be challenged in your faith, to encourage others and in return to be encouraged.

May I suggest that you read 1 John 1:8+9.

Also may I point out that the only people who are frightened about committing the unpardonable sin are Christians.
sinner, unsaved sinners could not careless about it.

Please talk to your minister.

 

[BobRyan]

Hello!

As the title states, I am very afraid that I've committed the unpardonable sin a few, like 4 or 5 years ago. Some might not believe, but God wanted me to do a 7 day fast, I was lead to do this the next day that I received the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately I fell and didn't finish the fast. A little less than a year passed and I was urged to complete the fast that God wanted me to do in the beginning. But I couldn't do it or - I didn't do it. Many, many times. I knew that God wanted me to do it. He gave me chances to do it. Many chances. Until the last one. I'm not sure if I knew that it would be the last opportunity. But God spoke to me from the Book of Revelation about returning to the first love and doing the first works or He would come soon and remove "the lampstand". What happened when I didn't complete the fast this time is that I believe that the Holy Spirit left me. I felt His touch for the last time. What happened was the as I fell from doing the fast, it was Monday and I turned on the Sunday sermon's recording (I didn't attend the sermon on Sunday) and the message that the pastor was giving to the church was wrapped around him having received words from the Holy Spirit the day before. And the words were: "This might be the last evidence (or proof) of my love for someone". When I heard this message, I felt His touch and then He left.

My experience really fits with the Hebrews teaching on people that are impossible to return to repentance. They tasted the gift, I did, they experienced the miracle of being with God etc., but they fell. I haven't heard from the Holy Spirit or God Himself ever since the described event. Maybe it's a desert I'm in, but maybe I've committed the unforgivable sin. I was so foolish not to follow God's leading. I'm in tears now. In Hebrews it is told about Esau who also in tears searched for the blessing, but he was rejected.

What I've been thinking lately is that (as I cannot hear from God) maybe I should find someone who communicates with God and should ask them to ask God if I have committed that unforgivable sin... The truth is that I feel like I really have committed it. Everything fits to what is written in Hebrews. Would God even tell the truth if someone really asked about me or would He even answer to my question..?

I don't even know what to ask. I just feel like Esau, looking for God after having lost Him. A cursed person. Hell and what I've lost is on my mind every day. .

1. Your statement -- "Hell and what I've lost is on my mind every day." is not at all the description of someone who has grieved away the Holy Spirit. Proof: " It is the Spirit that convicts of sin, righteousness and judgment" John 16.

2. Maybe this is God's wake-up call to you -- to consider "the alternative" to views you have been holding. The denomination I belong to affirms the continuation of spiritual gifts - including the gift of prophecy. But we find that what passes today for the Holy Spirit is often not in line with what scripture actually teaches about it. It does not pass the test of Acts 2 and it does not pass the test of 1 Cor 12, and it does not pass the test of 1 Cor 14. If there is a possibility that I am right you owe it to yourself to take a look at those chapters "closely". I have done a Bible study on it and it is compelling. Do not let pride get in the way of a second look at those texts.

3. Since you say that your current POV now leaves you at a dead end - maybe give the alternative a try. Consider this as God's prompting.

 

[tdidymas]

Hello!

As the title states, I am very afraid that I've committed the unpardonable sin a few, like 4 or 5 years ago. Some might not believe, but God wanted me to do a 7 day fast, I was lead to do this the next day that I received the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately I fell and didn't finish the fast. A little less than a year passed and I was urged to complete the fast that God wanted me to do in the beginning. But I couldn't do it or - I didn't do it. Many, many times. I knew that God wanted me to do it. He gave me chances to do it. Many chances. Until the last one. I'm not sure if I knew that it would be the last opportunity. But God spoke to me from the Book of Revelation about returning to the first love and doing the first works or He would come soon and remove "the lampstand". What happened when I didn't complete the fast this time is that I believe that the Holy Spirit left me. I felt His touch for the last time. What happened was that as I fell from doing the fast, it was Monday and I turned on the Sunday's sermon recording (I didn't attend the sermon on Sunday) and the message that the pastor was giving to the church was wrapped around him having received words from the Holy Spirit the day before. And the words were: "This might be the last evidence (or proof) of my love for someone". When I heard this message, I felt His touch and then He left.

My experience really fits with the Hebrews teaching on people that are impossible to return to repentance. They tasted the gift, I did, they experienced the miracle of being with God etc., but they fell. I haven't heard from the Holy Spirit or God Himself ever since the described event. Maybe it's a desert I'm in, but maybe I've committed the unforgivable sin. I was so foolish not to follow God's leading. I'm in tears now. In Hebrews it is told about Esau who also in tears searched for the blessing, but he was rejected.

What I've been thinking lately is that (as I cannot hear from God) maybe I should find someone who communicates with God and should ask them to ask God if I have committed that unforgivable sin... The truth is that I feel like I really have committed it. Everything fits to what is written in Hebrews. Would God even tell the truth if someone really asked about me or would He even answer to my question..?

I don't even know what to ask. I just feel like Esau, looking for God after having lost Him. A cursed person. Hell and what I've lost is on my mind every day.

Any help appreciated I guess.

If there's someone who would ask God, if there's still a chance for me with Him... aka if maybe I'm not guilty of the unforgivable sin... Much love to that person.

Just a person missing God,
Klāvs.

It appears to me that you are obsessed with your feelings, and that you are believing whatever you think your feelings are telling you. Look carefully at Rom. 8:13: "If you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if you by the Spirit put to death the deeds of the flesh you will live." Paul is talking about living by faith. But if you live after your feelings, you're living by sight.

But feelings are notoriously wrong. Obviously in context, Rom. 8:13 is talking about letting sinful feelings guide your life, as opposed to letting the Spirit tell you what to do. The Spirit tells us what to do based on remembering what God's word says.

But it has application to your situation, IMO. Religious sentiments can be the very idolatry that causes spiritual death. In my experience and observation of others, those who allow their feelings to direct their beliefs are unstable. Faith has to go beyond feelings, to establish the mind and heart to trust in God's word. Further, that God's word is understood as written, as opposed to what someone claims about it.

Therefore, your story begs some questions that I think have to be deeply considered:

1. What makes you think that God spoke to you (personally) out of the book of Revelation? That message was to the Ephesian church, and taking away their lampstand was taking away their church, because the lampstand is the church. What has that to do with you thinking that the Spirit has departed from you? It seems to me your dependence on your feelings is hindering your faith. You first have to understand what the text actually means before you can correctly apply it.

2. What makes you think that God told you to fast for 7 days in the first place? Did you hear a voice from heaven saying so? Or was it merely a religious sentiment?

3. What makes you think that repentance means you have to fast for 7 days? First repent from unbelief, then you can decide what actions to take. New Covenant repentance means to depend on God for deliverance from sin, and depending on Christ to make you righteous. Are you doing this?

4. Who told you that failing to fast for 7 days is the unpardonable sin? The only sin that will not be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which Jesus defined as calling His miraculous deeds the work of demons. I can't see that you've done that, from your OP. Ok, you felt as if God told you to fast for 7 days. Ok, you failed at it, and committed other sins since then. A lot of water under the bridge. But it seems to me that the only thing preventing you from being reconciled to God is your own ignorance and unbelief. Why not try to "SEEK GOD WHILE HE MAY BE FOUND" and study the Bible until you can see how to walk with Christ?

Reconciliation with God is not so impossible that you apparently believe. In 1 Corinthians Paul commands to "be reconciled to God," which was to one of the most sinful churches described in the New Testament.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hello!

As the title states, I am very afraid that I've committed the unpardonable sin a few, like 4 or 5 years ago. Some might not believe, but God wanted me to do a 7 day fast, I was lead to do this the next day that I received the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately I fell and didn't finish the fast. A little less than a year passed and I was urged to complete the fast that God wanted me to do in the beginning. But I couldn't do it or - I didn't do it. Many, many times. I knew that God wanted me to do it. He gave me chances to do it. Many chances. Until the last one. I'm not sure if I knew that it would be the last opportunity. But God spoke to me from the Book of Revelation about returning to the first love and doing the first works or He would come soon and remove "the lampstand". What happened when I didn't complete the fast this time is that I believe that the Holy Spirit left me. I felt His touch for the last time. What happened was that as I fell from doing the fast, it was Monday and I turned on the Sunday's sermon recording (I didn't attend the sermon on Sunday) and the message that the pastor was giving to the church was wrapped around him having received words from the Holy Spirit the day before. And the words were: "This might be the last evidence (or proof) of my love for someone". When I heard this message, I felt His touch and then He left.

My experience really fits with the Hebrews teaching on people that are impossible to return to repentance. They tasted the gift, I did, they experienced the miracle of being with God etc., but they fell. I haven't heard from the Holy Spirit or God Himself ever since the described event. Maybe it's a desert I'm in, but maybe I've committed the unforgivable sin. I was so foolish not to follow God's leading. I'm in tears now. In Hebrews it is told about Esau who also in tears searched for the blessing, but he was rejected.

What I've been thinking lately is that (as I cannot hear from God) maybe I should find someone who communicates with God and should ask them to ask God if I have committed that unforgivable sin... The truth is that I feel like I really have committed it. Everything fits to what is written in Hebrews. Would God even tell the truth if someone really asked about me or would He even answer to my question..?

I don't even know what to ask. I just feel like Esau, looking for God after having lost Him. A cursed person. Hell and what I've lost is on my mind every day.

Any help appreciated I guess.

If there's someone who would ask God, if there's still a chance for me with Him... aka if maybe I'm not guilty of the unforgivable sin... Much love to that person.

Just a person missing God,
Klāvs.

You have not committed the unpardonable sin. Let's look at Hebrews 6:

Heb 6:6 if they fall away, to renew them again to repentance, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God, and put Him to an open shame.

The verse says that if a person falls away, they are crucifying Christ again. This would mean the state of falling away causes a re-crucifying of Christ. It means the cross is unavailable in that state.

But now we need to look internally to the book of Hebrews to see how far the cross spans.

Heb 9:27-28 And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.

We see in Hebrews 9 that the cross spans our whole lifetime of sins. From birth to death. Your sins are covered.

Hebrews 6:6 the term "fall away" does not mean to sin, or go into sin, no it means to fall away from God to the point that when we die we are no longer a believer. The cross is available to the one who lives.