Venting Thread

[PinkSweetart]

Some people can be so mean...

 

[Tehchad]

I wish that I had an immeasurable amount of patience, wisdom, and eloquence. Tonight, it is eloquence that is frustrating.

 

[broken_one]

The melancholy brings its cool fog over my head.....damn my failures....I need a girlfriend right now, or I need a drink to make me feel like I don't need a girlfriend. Personally I could go for the drink right now, but you know never take your eyes off the prize. And I don't like the fact that I'm so down on myself. It's annoying, but I can't stop doing it. I can't stand having every other aspect of my life in place and well-developed except for this egregious weakness. Like a baseball player who can run, catch, dive and slide, but he can't hit. Just a glaring weakness that has created this whole culture in myself of getting down on myself and disliking myself. And I can't stop it because I can't get a girlfriend. It's a vicious cycle.

Tis the life of the unloved.

 

[Tehchad]

broken
hang in there buddy. I feel like I can identify with you more than anyone else on cf. I feel you on the drink part and the fog/depressed part. I've fought that for several years now.
the prize is amazing, I'm sure. but I don't have the ability to see how amazing it is now.

keep your head up man. if you have lost a lot/all of it, you still have you and God. and when it comes down to it, that's really all that matters. :-J

 

[broken_one]

It's not really a depression but an anxiety that my legacy of failures and almost-beens will continue. I couldn't keep living like this for the rest of my life....everyone else has already moved on, they're relationship-centered while I'm stuck with friends who are cool with hanging out but you know their heart isn't always there. And it's fine, but I just feel left out. I don't have anyone who loves me, and I just feel like it's never going to happen for me. Like I said before, I'd off myself. But thankfully I keep extending my deadline to when it will happen, like the oil spill.

But legit, I know I'm missing out (and I actually have relationship skills! who knew that on my side I can keep a good ship going), and it makes me unhappy.

 

[Tehchad]

I always default to reading. have you read anything about behavioral psychology? how do people react to you when you are making advances? how do they react when you couldn't care less? etc?

 

[Rory]

How about when you don't have God either? The more I think on it and try to figure out what I believe the farther away from God I feel I get. Just seems like wishful thinking that anyone really cares for us. That anyone could actually love us. Really it's the same with God as it is with friends and dating, none of them really care unless you give them everything and even then they might ignore you or leave you. Why set yourself up to get hurt like that? Why bother to expect anything decent out of anybody let alone God. I wish I could just let go and pretend I never cared about Him. I'd rather that than slowly getting mad at God for not helping me get out of my own messes. If He is real, it's still not His problems, I shouldn't expect it all to be fixed like that. Still hurts to feel rejected by God.

grrrblehblargpfftgrrr

 

[Rhye]

=*(

 

[Rory]

=*(

If that was for my post, I'm sorry, trying to hold it in but coming here so much lurking and seeing so many so happy with Jesus in their life and then me lacking that makes it hard to keep silent. I really am happy for them and wouldn't want them to change one bit, but it just is frustrating, I just can't figure out what my problem is.

If it wasn't for my post, ignore the last paragraph I just wrote.

Either way,

 

[Rhye]

It was for many things, including your post and Sean's post, and life.

 

[Rory]

Then here is a few more 's

 

[broken_one]

I always default to reading. have you read anything about behavioral psychology? how do people react to you when you are making advances? how do they react when you couldn't care less? etc?

Not good.

That test thingy said I was an ESTJ, and that makes sense because I'm usually really good with people....I have a lot of friends, I'm able to make new ones easily (like at church last Saturday), I'm well-spoken and am honestly quite humorous and charming.

However whenever I'm in front of girls who I think are attractive, I just get really nervous. To where I may not make a move at all. Sometimes I do even though I'm nervous, and it shows and I do an awful job and usually get turned down unless I can somehow create some charm, some spark. In more comfortable situations though, when I can fully charm, I still don't have a very good percentage of women who are saying "yes". And again, it's this nervousness that is really only about this one thing. I don't even know where it's coming from (it pre-dates any other anxiety issue I might have). I'm so good with people that it's really a shame that I can't do it with women I find attractive. It's really quite sad, actually.

It was for many things, including your post and Sean's post, and life.

 

[Tehchad]

Not good.

That test thingy said I was an ESTJ, and that makes sense because I'm usually really good with people....I have a lot of friends, I'm able to make new ones easily (like at church last Saturday), I'm well-spoken and am honestly quite humorous and charming.

However whenever I'm in front of girls who I think are attractive, I just get really nervous. To where I may not make a move at all. Sometimes I do even though I'm nervous, and it shows and I do an awful job and usually get turned down unless I can somehow create some charm, some spark. In more comfortable situations though, when I can fully charm, I still don't have a very good percentage of women who are saying "yes". And again, it's this nervousness that is really only about this one thing. I don't even know where it's coming from (it pre-dates any other anxiety issue I might have). I'm so good with people that it's really a shame that I can't do it with women I find attractive. It's really quite sad, actually.

okay, then this might be more blind than even I might think...

What works for me and likely might not work for you.....

I focus on the objective. I reason things out. This girl that I might talk to is relatively attractive. I've approached her and she is still chatting happily. She's talking happily to me, ergo she is accepting of my interest in her. I ask for her contact info so that I can do so at a later date and harass her for coffee or chai or frizbee golf with my regular friends/anything that is around other people that isn't super intense. If she says yes and gives the info to me, sweet! icing on the cake. I've reasoned this situation out correctly that she may be interested in spending some safe, fun, and healthy time with me. If not, she could have many reasons - boyfriend, actually isn't interested in me, etc.
The point is that I'm thinking rationally and not emotionally. If she's talking/chatting with me, that would mean that she doesn't mind it. A girl who would mind would find it awkward and/or cut it off and walk away.

This is a drawn out thought process that would allow you to get to know any given girl and see if she's Godly/dating material/etc without threatening either side.

maybe it would work for you, maybe not. but I'd like to offer it to you.

 

[broken_one]

^I'm probably still tired from getting up so early, but your post isn't making any sense. I feel like it should be, though.

 

[Edwards1984]

Why do people go to the track to walk? And then refuse to stay in their lane? I mean I guess I should be happy they're getting out and getting exercise, but...you can walk around the block if you have to. Or at the very least stay in your own lane for the courtesy of everyone else there.

 

[Rhye]

Why do people go to the track to walk? And then refuse to stay in their lane? I mean I guess I should be happy they're getting out and getting exercise, but...you can walk around the block if you have to. Or at the very least stay in your own lane for the courtesy of everyone else there.

I have a tendency to walk from one said to another.

 

[Edwards1984]

I have a tendency to walk from one said to another.

Sometimes when my legs are sore, just getting out of bed is a workout.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Why won't someone freakin' hire me? Something has to be open for me! It just has to!

Side Vent: Some boys need to grow up and become men already.

 

[penNpaper]

Why won't someone freakin' hire me? Something has to be open for me! It just has to!

Side Vent: Some boys need to grow up and become men already.

AMEN!!!

AMEN!!!

God Bless,
Drew

 

[Wren]

Why won't someone freakin' hire me? Something has to be open for me! It just has to!

Oh, do I hear you there!